


Through A Glass, Darkly.

by SGDiva



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-03
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-11-20 05:01:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 109,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/581563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SGDiva/pseuds/SGDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a rough mission with Daniel ending up in the infirmary, Jack decides it‘s time for a long overdue time out. But vacation in Paradise becomes a nightmare and a desperate chase half way across the world where old and new friends are waiting to help and to hinder. Both Jack and Daniel find out that some things are best remembered and all they really need is each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Through A Glass, Darkly. I

**Author's Note:**

> NOW COMPLETE
> 
> Disclaimer: All Stargate characters and settings belong to their original writers. No personal gain is made from the writing of this fic. All original characters belong to me. Mine, Mine, MINE!
> 
> There will be discussions and descriptions of the physical and sexual abuse of a child in later chapters. If this is likely to trigger or offend please do not read.
> 
> Many, many thanks to annejackdanny for her beta services, her support and her unfailing faith in my ability to finish this story. You rock, hon!
> 
> An image heavy version is available at http://home.germany.net/coolpool/SGDiva.html where Anne's awesome stories are also available.

There was nothing at all to see from the doorway; a bowed head, scratching pen, the odd rise of an eyebrow. Nothing at all that would show where Jack O’Neill’s mind was. Because it certainly wasn’t on the mission reports and requisition forms that littered his desk.  He was good at this. He could project a busy, official aura in his office just as well as the bored, distracted persona in the briefing room and all the time he kept everyone in the dark about where his thoughts were really taking him. He could never have survived all those years in Black Ops without having total command of his surroundings and of himself.  Those dark days were long behind him now, but he kept up his skills just in case. In some ways his life depended on this ability even more now; there was more at stake than just _his_ reputation here. Jack raised his eyes from the papers in front of him, flicked his gaze across the empty corridor and allowed himself a big self-satisfied smile

Daniel.

Daniel was in the forefront of his mind and had been for the last…Jack looked at his watch…19 days, 15 hours, 9 minutes and…wait for it…30 seconds. That was how long it had been since they had made their ‘we’re-just-best-friends-and-not-lovers-oh-no-not-us-straight-as-a-die-here-just-good-ole-Jack-and-Danny,’ clap on the back goodbye in the gate room as Daniel went off for three weeks of playing in the dirt with SG-3 as back-up. Jack had made his usual warnings to Major Wade about looking after his archaeologist and then they had left through the Stargate to the, hopefully, peaceful deserted planet designated P4X-993.

Their real goodbye had happened four hours earlier as they lay sweaty and sated in each other’s arms after the most exhilarating and intense shared orgasm he could remember – in his life - ever! He could still feel the deep ache in his gut as the memory of the power of his lover’s passion met with his own intense love for that incredible man and exploded between them.

_“I’ll have to say you can go off world without me more often if this is the payoff.”_

_“Nah, no payoff, Jack, just a little on account to keep you interested until I get back. I do want to give you one more thing, though.”_

_Jack had barely taken a breath before Daniel’s lips were pressed to the tender skin between his thigh and the swell of his left butt cheek. Sucking the flesh hard into his mouth Daniel marked Jack with a hot, raised bruise that throbbed in tandem with the newly awakened interest of Jack’s cock. God, but this boy was hot. Jack had been on the receiving end of hickeys before, but never given with such wild abandon and savagery._

_“Now you can’t forget. That should last till I get back. Mine, Jack. MINE.”_

The physical sign had, sadly, faded much to Jack’s chagrin, but the sense memory stayed with him just as Daniel had intended and he could still feel its phantom heat against the seam of his BDU’s.

A noise in the corridor brought him back to the here and now and a slight flick of his eyes told him who was about to tap on his door.

“Carter. What brings you to my neck of the woods?” Jack continued to look down at the report in front of him, giving no sign that under the desk he was fighting an incipient hard-on courtesy of his explicit memories.

Sam couldn’t disguise the slight flicker of exasperation that crossed her face. He knew it really annoyed her that no matter how hard she tried or what skills she used, she could never sneak up on her CO. It was a game she played with him, but one that he was proud to say she had never yet won.

“Just thought you’d like to know, sir. SG-3 have radioed in,” she reported.

_Daniel…_

Jack looked up, quickly assessing Carter’s frame of mind. She looked relaxed and unconcerned which meant that Daniel was alright. The little jag of fear that had rolled through his body like an ice cold shower had also deflated his wayward cock. ‘Silver lining,’ he thought absently. If he had to go anywhere with Carter then his nonchalant display would have been for nothing with a very prominent tent in his trousers: Either that or she would have got the wrong idea all together and added up her appearance in his office with his obvious erection and made a completely erroneous assumption about the cause. Jack could scarcely suppress a little shiver at that thought.

“Daniel’s coming back,” Sam continued, completely unaware of the colonel’s convoluted thought processes, “Apparently his allergies have flared up – something on the planet he thinks. He asked for more anti-histamines, but Janet wants to check him over so she’s called him back.”

Jack nodded. Something as minor as allergies would never have brought Daniel back home without coercion from their CMO.

“I bet he was happy about that.” Jack grinned.

He was amazed to feel a little flutter of anticipation in his gut. When did he turn into a love-struck teenager?  He decided he didn’t care. Daniel had been gone for over two weeks and he missed him. He was going to see his Danny early even if it was only for an hour or two. It was just a shame there was nowhere on base private enough for him to get a little loving on account…on account that he missed his gorgeous hot archaeologist way more than he would ever let on.

Throwing his pen down on a requisition for athletes foot powder, O’Neill stood and stretched out his back. Sitting at his desk always made him feel three inches shorter. Maybe he should go to the gym and stretch out his abused muscles (and work through the unresolved sexual tension that was bound to be there) after Daniel had gone back to the planet. Jack had no doubt that Daniel would be going back  - only undomesticated equines could keep the man away from his beloved dirt and Jack was under no illusions that when it came down to it he only came a close second in the short list of his lover’s passions.

“Let’s go and welcome our boy back.” Jack gave an exaggerated ‘after you’ gesture and followed Sam out of his office and down the corridor to the elevators. Sliding his access card through the slot he leaned against the wall and looked at the tall blonde beside him.

“So **,** Carter, I’m thinking we’re way overdue for a team meal. What do you think? When Daniel finally decides to come home for good from the planet of the Rinkydinks we could do BBQ at my house or picnic in the Garden of the Gods?” He raised his eyebrows at her in question.

“Picnic sounds good, sir. If this weather holds it would be great. And P4X-993 is called Rinkadian.”

“That may be what the planet is called, but who’s to say the long gone citizens wouldn’t have been Rinkydinks, tell me that, Carter.”

Sam smirked at him and rolled her eyes as the elevator doors slid open. They had to stand aside for the occupants to disembark and Jack’s eyebrows rose into his hairline as a large and cumbersome machine was rolled out into the corridor pushed by a red faced and sweating Bill Lee.

“Hey Bill,” Sam called as the scientist absent-mindedly walked by without seeing her. “Is there a problem?”

“Oh, Major Carter,” the balding scientist exclaimed. “I was just about to come look for you. The naquadah capacitor on the nigeric encapsulator is still showing an oh point seven milliwatt reduction in output and we can’t work out…”

As the metal monstrosity cleared the doors Jack jumped into the car and pressed 28. They were still talking nineteen to the dozen as the door slid closed, neither of them noticing that he was no longer there. He shook his head and smirked. Scientists!

As the elevator swept him down to the Gate room, Jack hummed a little off-key tune to himself. He knew that watching Daniel go back through the gate, having had him home for only a few short minutes in the infirmary, would feel worse than having to wait the extra three days he was due to be away. But nineteen days was an awfully long time to not have sight of those beautiful blue eyes and he was willing to deal for the chance to do just that.

The SF on guard at the blast door threw the colonel a smart salute which Jack snorted at. The mountain was a ‘no salute’ installation. ‘Must be one of the new intake,’ Jack thought absently. There were always one or two either too keen or just too in awe of his status as leader of SG1 and his reputation as a hardass.

“At ease, Airman. You don’t have to salute me down here,” he advised firmly.

“Yes, sir. No, sir,” the airman babbled his hand half way back up for a second salute.

“Three bags full sir,” Jack muttered shaking his head. He knew _he’d_ never been that eager even _before_ basic training.

**‘Incoming Wormhole’**

Sergeant Davis’ voice over the intercom brought Jack’s mind back to what was most important right now.

Daniel.

He watched as one by one the chevrons lit and then moved to stand front and centre at the foot of the ramp so he'd be the first thing Daniel would see.  As the fifth chevron engaged Jack looked up to see General Hammond in the control room. His CO gave him a little nod and not for the first time Jack had the distinct impression that George ‘Knew.’ His relationship with Daniel was clandestine and dangerous to both their careers and to his freedom. ‘DADT’ was supposed to give him some protection, but the fact that Daniel was a member of his team could be more damaging to his career than any revelation about his sexual orientation. Still, Hammond was a good officer and a great leader of men. Jack was sure George would be the first one to rake him over the coals if his command was suffering because of his relationship with Daniel, but in the meantime – well SG-1 had always managed to get the job done despite being unconventional from a military point of view.

As the wormhole engaged the colonel found himself bouncing on the balls of his feet in anticipation. Almost immediately Daniel appeared through the shimmering blue portal and gave Jack a sheepish grin. O’Neill began to return the smile, but it died before it was fully formed as he watched with horror as his lover's body begin to be wracked with spasms.

Daniel’s eyes opened wide with shock and fear and he managed to choke out, “J…J…’ack,” before he began an almost slow motion fall towards the metal ramp.

Jack moved swiftly, taking the length of the ramp in one leap to catch the convulsing body before it crashed to the ground.

“MEDIC!” Jack barked as he held the young man’s body, desperately trying to prevent the paroxysms from causing any injury. Under Jack’s questing fingers Daniel’s skin went from the chill of gate travel to burning hot and felt dry and papery. He tried to ascertain whether there were any injuries that might explain these violent seizures, but the movement of Daniel’s body prevented him from doing anything but hang on. Daniel’s eyes were open but rolled back in his head so that hardly any of the iris was showing. Blood stained flecks of spittle were gathering in the corners of his mouth. His fingers were clawed and inflexible and his back bowed so severely that Jack thought he might fracture something if he wasn’t given some relief soon.

“Where’s the fucking MEDIC,” Jack yelled, beside himself with fear but not wanting anyone to see it. His heart was in his throat, beating so hard he thought it might escape his chest.

His cry of “’Bout fucking time,” as Janet and a gurney came speeding through the doorway died on his lips as he saw the doctor’s face fall and turn pale as she quickly assessed her patients condition.

“He’s way too hot. We need to get him cooled down and fast.” She fired out commands to the orderly with her, and within seconds the still seizing young man was lifted onto the gurney and buckled in place to prevent the continuing spasms from throwing him back onto the concrete floor.

“Davis, ring through to Jenny Evans and tell her to have cooling packs and the gastric lavage kit ready,” Janet ordered, not bothering to look up into the control room, knowing that Walter would follow her orders to the letter. “I’ll also need as much ice as you can find me. Meanwhile get someone to fill the soaking tub in level 18 locker room and set it to 22°C.”   

Then they were racing through the corridors with Jack in hot pursuit, unwilling to let Daniel out of his sight for more than a second. As they reached the infirmary nurse Evans appeared with an armful of cooling packs and proceeded to push them under Daniel’s armpits, nape, groin and knees.

“Leave him on the gurney,” Janet ordered, “And make sure that tub’s ready in case we need it.” She turned to her head nurse. “Jenny, we need to administer a 25mg diazepam enema stat.”

The orderly snapped a curt nod and ran off to do as she asked as Jenny Evans prepared the anti-convulsant drug.

“Jack, you have to leave now.” Janet didn’t even look towards him, all her attention was focussed on Daniel who was now surrounded with monitors, the equipment beeping and chiming alarmingly.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jack argued. He knew he couldn’t leave; in fact he knew with all his heart that if he left that room Daniel would die.

“Jack,” Janet warned, her voice steely.

“No, Doc, not gonna happen.”

The doctor raised herself to her full height and was about to order the colonel to leave when he put his hand on her upper arm.

“Janet, please.” His voice was thick with emotion. “I have to stay.”

Jack watched as her eyes softened. She knew about their relationship, how could she not she was their doctor after all, but she had never let that colour her decisions about medical matters before. All Jack could do was let her see how much he needed her to agree, just this once.

“Okay,” Janet shook her head, “but if you get in my way, you are out on your ear.”

Jack nodded and moved to the back of the cubicle, using the wall to hold up his trembling body as he watched his lover fighting for his life.

“Right, Evans, what’s his core temp?”

Nurse Evans checked the monitor and Jack saw her eyes go wide with shock. “Ah…it’s 108°, heart rate 220 and tachycardic, BP 230 over 110.”

Jack watched Janet’s face pale as the nurse reeled off the numbers. Even he knew a temperature that high could not be sustained for very long without Daniel suffering serious effects. There was a bang as the door flew open and Teal’c arrived carrying several large bags of ice.

“Good, get that over here now, Teal’c.” Janet pointed to an instrument trolley beside the bed. “Let’s get these open as quickly as we can and pack it around him.” She turned and pointed at Jack. “Make yourself useful. Tear open ten of those saline bags and empty them into a container – doesn’t have to be sterile. Then add a handful of ice for each bag.”

O’Neill scanned the room and his eyes alighted on a metal bin at the base of the bed. Using just his fingers he tore into the heavy saline bags and emptied the contents into it, adding ice as he had been directed. He turned to ask Janet where she needed the ice water only to see her trying unsuccessfully to insert an NG tube into Daniel’s nose, the continued flailing of his body making it impossible. Without waiting to be asked, Jack stretched himself across Daniel, using his entire body weight to keep him as still as possible. Within seconds Janet’s expert hands had placed the tube and reluctantly Jack moved back away from his very sick lover.

Janet fitted a large bore valve and syringe to the tube and, using an oversized glass test tube, began to pour the iced saline from the metal bucket into the syringe.

“Gastric lavage helps to bring down his core temperature while the ice and cool packs will cool his skin,” Janet explained seeing Jack’s shock at the treatment she was undertaking. “We have to cool him down to get these convulsions under control. Otherwise things could get very ugly.”

Jack nodded and returned to his place near the wall, making sure he was always in sight of his lovers’ face, scared out of his mind at the violence of the convulsions and the otherworldly pallor of his skin. Time seemed to slow down as over and over again the syringe was filled with ice water and then the body warmed fluid removed from Daniel’s stomach. Finally after what seemed like a lifetime nurse Evans reported that his temperature was beginning to fall, even if only by half degrees. Janet ordered antipyretic drugs to be administered and then had Daniel wrapped in wet sheets to aid transference of heat from his skin.

Jack folded his arms across his chest holding himself rigid, desperate to stop his body trembling with suppressed emotion and shock and suddenly he felt a large hand descend on his shoulder.

“Sit down, O’Neill,” Teal’c said quietly. “You will only clutter the infirmary floor if you collapse.” The Jaffa hooked his leg around a wheeled stool and pulled it over to where Jack stood, pressing firmly on his shoulders to make him sit.

“Thanks T,” Jack nodded. He slouched back in a fake relaxed pose and shoved his hands in his pockets to hide how much they were shaking. Now that he had nothing to do he had time to think. Surely Daniel couldn’t survive much more of this. What if this was it? What if he lost him now when he hadn’t had the chance to say goodbye? Hell, if Danny was going. Jack wouldn't know how to go on without him. He tried to swallow around the lump jamming his throat, biting hard on his lip to stop the prickling in his eyes turning into tears. He started as he felt a hand resting on his shoulder.

“His temperature is coming down, but it’s happening slower than I would have liked,” Janet explained quietly. “I know this is hard to see, Jack, but we had to bring the spasms under control. Even now he could have some brain damage from the prolonged seizures and pyrexia.”

Brain damage? Jack felt as if the floor was twisting beneath him. He could hear the thunder of his heart as it threatened to break out of his chest. Danny was brilliant, he couldn’t have brain damage; he knew he wouldn’t want to live like that.

“We don’t know anything yet, Jack. The most important thing is to get this under control.” Janet squeezed his arm. “We’re going to continue with treatment and he is already responding so that’s a good sign. However, we also need to know what’s causing this and we have to be aware it could be an off world contagion. I’ve told General Hammond I am going to keep everyone who has been in contact with Daniel in isolation. That includes the SFs in the Gate room as well as the medical staff, Teal’c, me and you.”

Jack gave a terse nod. That was SOP and a sensible precaution. They needed to be sure this wasn't something that could infect the rest of the mountain or God forbid make its way outside.

“I think we could arrange for you to share an isolation room with Daniel.” The small woman gave him a compassionate smile and then moved back to check on her patient.

Jack felt a wave of relief pass over him. At least he could stay with Danny. The only thing worse than being apart was not knowing what was happening and Jack always needed to see with his own eyes that his team were alive; especially his archeologist.

It took almost an hour before Janet was happy enough with Daniel’s condition for him to be moved. Jack was there every second never taking his eyes off his lover; feeling with every fibre of his being that he could hold Daniel there just by force of will. A cold cup of coffee sat in his hands, placed there by Teal’c, but he hadn’t even taken a sip.

Slowly the frenzy around Daniel’s bed began to calm as his temperature fell and the drug therapy took effect. He was moved onto a normal infirmary bed and the cooling packs and wet sheets removed. Daniel was hot, still too pale with high red spots on his cheeks, but the convulsions had stopped and his pulse and blood pressure seemed, in Jack’s non-medical opinion, to be moving in the right direction. He was still unconscious, but Janet had reassured the colonel that it was only to be expected. The seizures had subjected Daniel’s body to a heavy physical ordeal and it would be a while before they'd know if they had caused any lasting effect. 

Finally they were moved into the smaller isolation room. Jack was able to sit right next to the bed and actually physically touch his lover for the first time since he’d caught him on the ramp. Without a thought for how it might look to anyone watching he took the younger man's hand in his and interlaced their fingers, gently rubbing his thumb across the papery hot flesh. Although the worries and fears of the last few hours were not over, the touch of skin made Jack feel as if he could finally breathe again.

“Now, Danny, this is how I see it,” he murmured to the still figure in the bed beside him. “I know you’re not feeling too good and sleep will help you get better, but I really need to see your eyes, baby. So if you could wake up for me, just for a minute…Please, love.”

Daniel slept on, his chest rising and falling in counterpoint to the beeping of the monitors. Jack gave a deep sigh and leaned back on his chair. He suddenly felt so very tired, as if he’d been running for his life for the past few hours. As his eyes began to close his hand relaxed around Daniel’s and slowly fell onto the bed beside him. Jack caught the oddest sight from his half closed eye as zigzagging streamers of light seemed to tether his hand to Daniel’s in a weird sort of sci-fi visual effect. It was only there for a fraction of a second and he forced his eyes open again, but there was nothing to see. ‘Just tired,’ he thought drowsily as he enclosed Daniel’s hand again with his own. ‘Need to sleep.’

When Teal’c entered the room thirty minutes later he found both O’Neill and Daniel deeply asleep their hands still entwined. He walked into the small en suite bathroom and retrieved a towel which he deftly threw over the camera in the corner. Crossing over to the telephone on the wall he made a call to the security office reporting that the camera was faulty and assuring the SF on duty that, as he was going to be on guard outside the room, the repair could be delayed until the morning. He then picked up a blanket from the second bed in the room and gently draped it across his friend’s sleeping form covering their joined hands.

“Thanks, T,” Jack mumbled.

“You are welcome, O’Neill,” the big man replied quietly.

******

_Oh now this is new. I think this is a dream…In fact I know it’s a dream ‘cause I’m in a movie theatre and I don’t have popcorn. Like that would ever happen. This must be that lucid dreaming thing. Daniel told me about it once. Some shaman types on Pxx do-I-give-a-fuck, smoke this hokey herbal hallucinogen – hey alliteration. If Daniel were here he’d be giving me some serious sexy eyebrow right now. Nothing makes him hotter than me going all linguistic on his ass_

_Anyways..._

_The stuff makes them go walkabout in their dreams, but they remember everything about it and then they use that to divine the future or some New Age crapola. Well, I suppose I should do some recon and work out what I’m here to find.  Ach, O’Neill will you listen to yourself; you’re dreaming, you moron, nothing more, nothing less. No meaning of life stuff in your brain, flyboy – leave that to the archaeologist._

_This joint is really crummy. Kinda reminds me of the place we used to go when we were kids on a Saturday morning. Cowboys, cartoons, candy and Captain Marvel – shit **,** there I go again…now I know I’m dreamin’ and this is one weird ass dream. The theatre’s empty except for me and I am sitting front and centre. I never sit here, it makes my neck crick and gives me a headache…I’ll just move further…Uh oh, not going anywhere ‘cause I can’t move my legs. Thing is I know I should be really worried about that but; hey, right now I feel like I couldn’t give a shit. This is some whacko dream. _

_So let’s have a look around here; this place is huge. I can just about see to the back and there’s an exit sign but no door…that could be a problem if I ever get the use of my legs back, but right now getting out of here seems to be impossible. The screen is blank; just a huge white expanse with those massive red velvet curtains at the side. The covering on the seat in front of me is that rough bristly stuff and it’s all worn on the top like hundreds of sticky grubby hands and sneakered feet have rubbed on it for years and years. There’s that smell too; popcorn, sweet orange drink, cigarettes and damp clothes._

_Wait a minute I do know this place; the Uptown Theatre on North Broadway in Chicago. I saw my first movie here with my dad, had my first popcorn; shit, I even had my first kiss here from Casey O’Malley. She was 13, I was 14 and she had the bluest eyes. I had my first kiss induced boner and came in my shorts when she stuck her tongue in my mouth. Seems like nothing much changes. My Danny’s eyes can do that for me, too. Which reminds me there’s something wrong with my Danny, what is it…is there...? I think I need to wake up but why? Nah, it’s gone._

_Why would I dream this place?_

_Lights are going down. Damn, it’s black as hell in here now. Oh, oh the main feature is coming on. The music is way too quiet; I can’t hear what it’s supposed to be. Seems like there might be voices, too, but I can’t make out what they’re saying. Well, O’Neill, perhaps you just need to sit back and let it happen ‘cause sure as damn it you don’t seem to be in any hurry to wake up. There’s definitely something being projected on the screen, but it’s so out of focus I can’t make anything out. The colours are vivid, almost psychedelic, and they’re streaking and running together. Talk about an acid flashback!_

_WAIT…What the fuck was that. I saw something move out of the corner of my eye…Just over there. All my spidey-senses are tingling and the hairs on the back of my neck are so tight they hurt. I’m not on my own here although when I look over at where the movement was there is nothing but blackness. I’m not sure how I can defend myself if it’s hostile. I don’t have a weapon and unless it decides to come sit in my lap I’ve got no chance of subduing it with hand to hand. I’ll look back up at the screen and hope to lull who or whatever it is into a false sense of security. I can do looking unconcerned and harmless while I’m planning on being very dangerous._

_But euch, looking at the screen is starting to make me feel sick. All those colours whirling and spreading, I feel like I’ve had a few too many beers and three day old Chinese food. I want to shut my eyes, but I can’t…shit…Shit…SHIT gonna hurl…gonna…gonna…_

_****_

“Ugh! Dammit.” Jack groaned.

“Do you require anything else, O’Neill?” Teal’c stood over Jack his hand still on the blanket.

Jack clamped his hand over his mouth and swallowed hard. The queasy feeling was gone as quickly as it had come on and all that was left of his dream was a feeling of unease and the vague notion that he should be doing something important.

“Is all well, O’Neill?” The big Jaffa stood over him, his face concerned.

“Yeah, T, fine…I’m fine.” Jack scrubbed his hand over his face and looked across guiltily at the still unconscious Daniel.  “Just woke myself up falling asleep – you know?”

“I do not.” Teal’c intoned, his eyebrow arching. “Do you require food? Beverages? GeneralHammond has sent in supplies.”

“Coffee would be great, big guy. Thanks.”

As he watched Teal’c leave the room Jack gusted out a deep sigh and tried to shake off the lingering feeling of unease that had followed him out of his dream. He’d been asleep a few seconds that had felt like hours and he couldn’t quite shake the idea he was supposed to have learned something.

“Get a grip, O’Neill,” he mumbled to himself. “It was just a freaking fucked up dream: Too much adrenalin courtesy of my favourite trouble magnet.”

He turned to look at Daniel again and was pleased to see he was slightly less flushed and that the heart monitor’s beeps were far slower and more even.

“Come on, Daniel, wake up,” he whispered gently. “If you wake up soon, then I’ll tap the general for some leave and we’ll go up to the cabin, or the beach, or any freaking where. It’ll be just you, me, a big soft comfortable bed and no-one for miles around to hear us scream.”

Jack tried to smile but found a lump forming in his throat.  “Please, love, wake up. I need you, buddy. I can’t even be trusted to fall asleep on my own anymore. I think almost three weeks apart is enough; in fact, I’m going to make it a rule that we are not apart more than…Hell, let’s not be apart at all. Okay?” Jack ran his knuckles gently over Daniel’s cheek, but he continued to sleep, the monitors beeping a constant metronome of passing seconds.

Movement in the door way made Jack look up to see Teal’c and Janet enter the room. The Jaffa placed a tray on the bed table and moved it in front of Jack.

“You will eat and drink, O’Neill, then I will sit with DanielJackson while you shower,” Teal’c stated firmly, his tone brooking no argument.

Nevertheless Jack was about to argue when Janet, who had been checking over her patient, turned and smiled at him.

“He’s going to sleep for a while yet, colonel. The anti-convulsant we gave him was Valium. It should keep him out for a couple more hours although this is Daniel and I never know how any sedative is going to affect him.” She looked back over at the sleeping man, her tired eyes full of affectionate concern.

Jack frowned, still not convinced that this was natural sleep. What if he was unconscious; in a coma; catatonic? The thought of brain damage and further complications were still rolling around in his head making him think irrationally. The doctor seemed to read his thoughts.

“He’s doing okay Jack,” Janet reassured him. “Right now I’m as happy as I can be. His temperature is almost back to normal and there has been no sign of any bacterial or viral agent in his blood. There are still tests to be done when he does wake up, but his pupils are reactive and he has good pain reflexes so I’m cautiously optimistic about what, if any, effects the extended seizures may have had. Right now he’s resting comfortably. So you have time to eat, shower and then be ready to say ‘hi’ to him as soon as he does wake up. He could be disorientated, so it will help him to see someone sitting here that he,” she winked conspiratorially at him and whispered, “loves…”

Janet snorted as Jack flushed a little and then squeezed his arm fondly.

“The least you can do is appreciate the coffee. It’s from my own stash of the good stuff. I only usually share that with Daniel,” she commented over her shoulder as she left the room followed closely by Teal’c.

Jack tipped them a sloppy salute and uncovered the plate in front of him. The turkey and bacon club looked good and his empty stomach gave an appreciative grumble.

“Okay already, I’ll eat it,” Jack groused at his reproachful belly as he picked up the thickly layered sandwich.

“Domaine du Kouandji,” Daniel croaked through dry lips. “What are you doing drinking Janet’s coffee?”

Jack dropped his food and almost kicked over the table in his haste to get close to Daniel.

“See,” he muttered gruffly as he grabbed Daniel’s hand and held onto it for dear life, “here was I offering you vacations by the beach and long nights of hot monkey-sex and all it took to get you to wake up was the smell of some swanky gourmet coffee.”

“Hi,” Daniel whispered, his mouth quirking in a sweet smile as his eyelids drooped in long slow blinks. “Missed you.”

Jack had to swallow hard before he could answer. “Hey, missed you more.”

“W…what happened? Why’m I here?”

Jack could see the confusion turning to distress in Daniel’s eyes as his gaze flickered round the sterile white walls of the isolation room.

“Let’s get the doc to check you over and then I’ll tell you all about it.” He quickly pressed a kiss to Daniel’s forehead before he hit the call button.

Janet came bustling in and before he knew it Jack was relegated to the back wall again.

Still, he didn’t mind because this time the tired eyes of his lover were gazing back at him from across the room and Jack couldn’t keep a goofy grin from spreading across his face. For the first time in the last few fraught hours Jack allowed himself to believe that Daniel was really going to be okay.

He’d remembered the name of Janet’s coffee. Jack knew it was just a small thing and Janet still had to do her tests, but if he was reading the doctors body language right (and he’d had lots of practice at that) then nothing was pointing to Danny having any brain damage. He felt light headed as a rush of relief swirled through him. All he had to do now was wait for the doc to let him know how long it would be before he could take his lover home and then he could go and see a general about some leave.

‘The beach,’ he thought, his eyes still transfixed by Daniels loving gaze. ‘Yeah, the beach sounds great.’

 

 


	2. Through A Glass, Darkly. II

Jack stretched; every muscle and sinew zinged with tension as he elongated his body, reaching above him to grab the headboard attempting to pull every last inch from his sleep-dulled muscles. He hated traveling on commercial airliners. The seats were too small, too close to each other and to the one in front. He always ended up achy and grouchy.

The journey to Mexico had been longer and more fraught than usual. Jack had battled a queasy stomach all the way there which had pissed him off mightily. Daniel had snorted as the hostess had suggested he might be airsick. That was the ultimate insult to a career fighter pilot. He was trained not to get sick even when pulling mega g’s. Jack’s glare had sent the poor woman scurrying for cover but hadn’t helped the symptoms. Only Daniel’s warm hand on his neck had eased the constant certainty that he was going to embarrass himself by hurling all over the seat in front.

The transfer to the beach house by panga boat hadn’t been much better.

“Seasick and airsick, Jack,” Daniel had whispered teasingly as they bounced across the waves towards the private beach. “All you need is Gate sick and then you’ll have the full set.”

Jack’s full force glare had no effect on Daniel at all and he’d grinned before turning his face to the approaching shore, drinking in the beauty of the Puerto Vallarta coastline.

That was yesterday, and it had been all that Jack could do to just fall into bed and lie as still as possible, hoping to will away the heaving and rolling of his belly whilst praying for sleep.

Twelve hours later, feeling more like himself, and nearer to his usual six feet two in height, Jack rubbed at his sleep blurred eyes. A movement out of the corner of his eye brought him immediately on alert until he recognized the tiny body of a gecko flitting across the wall next to him. He shook his head as he watched the lizard scurry into the thatch above.

“Relax, Jack,” he told himself, grimacing as he shook off the faint buzz of adrenalin. He’d been more jumpy than usual lately and he had no idea why. Daniel had made a good recovery from his mystery fever and there had been no other emergencies. Hammond had willingly granted both men three weeks leave and everything had fallen into place bringing them here; the nearest to paradise Jack had ever been – on Earth anyway. So he had no idea why he felt so antsy. He was hoping this vacation would help put him back on track.

A tap at the door was quickly followed by a woman’s voice. “Coffee and pastries are in the dining room Mr. Jack. Mr. Daniel says he will be back soon from swimming.”

“Thanks Izel,” Jack called back.

“De nada.”

Jack listened to the receding footsteps of the maid before sliding his naked body out from under the light cotton sheet. He padded over to stand at the open front of the loft, looking out to sea.

The view was glorious. Bright cobalt sky met aquamarine sea at the horizon. La Troza Beach House sat nestled between a swathe of golden sand to the front and rich verdant rainforest behind. Under a palapa thatch the whitewashed adobe house had every modern convenience. A simple but elegant great room, dining room and modern kitchen made up the ground floor that flowed beautifully from one area to the next. There was a fresh water soaking pool outside the dining area, its sapphire blue mosaic mirroring the huge expanse of sky above it. There were a couple of internal, air-conditioned bedrooms **,** but it was this room that both men had decided would be their sleeping quarters for the duration of their stay.

The loft was open to the air on two sides and contained three double beds which were dwarfed in proportion to the space around them. A double hammock hung from the rafters giving an ideal place for viewing the beach below. Jack was already making plans for that hammock just as soon as Daniel got back from his swim.

As if Jack had called him up from the deep, Daniel chose that moment to breach the waves on his way back to shore. Jack took a gasping breath as his lover began climbing the slight incline onto the sand. Wearing skin tight blue Speedo’s, Daniel’s body was displayed in its utmost perfection. Water sheered from his pale skin in rivulets that tracked every contour of his toned frame. Jack reached down unconsciously, taking his cock in hand as it let him know just how sexy the sight was. He wanted to touch Danny so badly he ached from the anticipation.

As Daniel began to climb the few steps to the patio he looked up catching sight of Jack in all his rampant glory. Jack saw the expression on his face turn from happiness to one of pure lust and he shivered under the intensity of those blue eyes.

“Mr. Daniel,” the maid called from the dining room. Daniel started, her voice pulling his mind away from the plans it was making. He quickly grabbed a towel from the low wall where he had left it before his swim and tied it around his waist trying, not completely successfully, to hide his arousal.

“Breakfast is laid out when you are ready. Lunch and dinner are in the refrigerator and the instructions are on the counter. The boat is on its way. If there is nothing else you need I will see you tomorrow morning.” The small, middle-aged woman gave him a soft, knowing smile, her deep brown eyes twinkling with amusement.

“No…No,” Daniel stammered out, embarrassed by his indiscretion, “that’s fine. We have everything we need. Gracias por todo, Izel. Hasta mañana.” He gave her his most brilliant smile and she pinked with pleasure.

“De nada, Mr. Daniel. Hasta mañana.”

He watched as she picked up her large leather bag and slipped on beach shoes before giving him a little wave and stepping down onto the golden sand. The panga was bouncing its way across the breakers towards the shore and Daniel flicked a glance up at the loft to make sure Jack had seen it, too. The last thing they needed on their first day in paradise was Jack indecently exposing himself to Izel and the panga boatman.

There was no sign of his lover, so Daniel pulled the towel from around his waist and stepped inside, making a detour at the dining table to collect the tray containing an insulated carafe of coffee, condiments, cups and fresh baked pan dulce; little bread pastries topped with a baked sugar icing. Bare feet padding up the terracotta tiled steps on the outside of the building he turned into the loft and almost dropped the tray as he caught sight of Jack, laying spread-eagled on one of the beds. Cushioned against the headboard on a mound of pillows, Jack had one hand lazily stroking his straining cock while the other twisted the brown nub of a nipple. God! He looked like sex incarnate. The heat of his gaze burned into Daniel’s gut, turning the slow smolder that had started downstairs into a full-blown blaze of want.

Shakily making his way to the coffee table, Daniel managed to put the tray down without any major spillage, but he wasn’t sure how. He turned, pulling in a calming breath. If he wasn’t careful just the sight of Jack touching himself was likely to make him come in his Speedos. Well, two could play that game. Keeping his eyes trained on Jack’s he slid the tight, damp trunks slowly down his hips then turned and hooked them under the curve of his ass. He was gratified to hear a moan from the bed. Giving a little shimmy to help the wet spandex roll over his damp skin he leaned right forward, biting his lip as his mini-striptease pulled a groan from Jack that went straight to his balls.

Daniel looked over his shoulder to see Jack panting, one hand clawed in the sheets next to him whilst his other was clamped around the base of his leaking cock, obviously fighting for control.

“Like what you see, Flyboy?”

“Guhhh,” Jack replied inarticulately. There was a slight look of desperation in his eyes as Daniel began to stalk towards him, his fully engorged dick leading the way.

“You started without me, Jack. That’s just plain rude.” Daniel stood at the end of the bed and mirrored Jack’s earlier actions, running a finger up his length whilst rubbing his palm across his pink nipple.

“Danny,” Jack choked out, his eyes suddenly wide with need. “I want…I want…”

“What, Jack?” Daniel purred as he knelt on the foot of the bed. “What **do** you want?”

“Y…Your m…m...mouth, hands, cock,” Jack gasped, desperate for release. “Anything…anything you want. Just do me, Daniel…Please, please,” he begged unashamedly.

Jack didn’t get this needy often, but when he did Daniel knew just what he wanted. Jack was an alpha through and through, but sometimes he just wanted to turn his pleasure over to Daniel’s tender ministrations. Without another word Daniel leaned forward, pulled Jack’s hand away from his straining hard-on and engulfed him right to the root.

“Dannnnnnnniiiiieeeee,” Jack howled as he emptied himself into his lovers mouth; every shattering pulse of his orgasm drawing an inarticulate cry from his throat. Daniel worked his cock with constantly moving lips and tongue, prolonging the pleasure until Jack was boneless and panting.

Giving him a few minutes to recoup Daniel moved over Jack, covering his relaxed body; chest to chest; belly to belly; their long legs entwined. Taking Jack’s face between his hands he pressed soft-mouthed kisses all over his sweat-slicked skin, relishing the salt tang. Taking his lips with passionate fervor he danced his tongue over and around Jack’s mouth demanding entry. Jack opened to him, allowing him to plunder his mouth mercilessly. Cracking open heavy eyes Jack saw the startling truth of Daniel’s love for him shining back at him; pupils so dilated with need that only a sliver of blue showed around the edges. His lips red and lust plumped.

Daniel was truly beautiful.

“Gonna fuck you, Jack,” the young man growled as he slid slowly off his body and walked to their, as yet, unpacked cases. Fishing out his wash bag Daniel pulled a bottle of Astroglide from a side pocket. “Gonna make you come again, screaming.”

Jack shook his head, still too far gone to form a coherent sentence. It would be a while before he would get even half-hard. He needed an hour or more to recoup. There was no way in Netu Danny would get his wish, but it would be fun trying.

Daniel just grinned at him wolfishly and nodded slowly and with such surety that, impossible as it seemed, and despite his disbelief, Jack felt a warm tendril of desire float through his gut.

“I want you to lay very still, Jack.” Daniel demanded quietly as he moved back over to the bed while his lover watched his every move. “Keep your hands down or I stop. Understand?”

Jack nodded, his breathing picking up as once again his senses were overwhelmed by a rampant, in-charge archaeologist.

Throwing the little bottle down on the bed beside Jack’s legs, Daniel began a slow, hot progress down his lover’s body. Gentle kisses to his jaw and cheeks mutated into nips and soft mouthed bites as he made his way onto Jack’s chest. Running his tongue around the areola of his left nipple Danny flicked and twisted the right nub to a hard point, pulling a throaty growl from Jack. Without thinking Jack began to reach for him, wanting to feel soft hair running through his fingers; the silky smoothness of his broad chest; the movement of solid muscle beneath the smooth skin on his back. But the younger man simply moved aside, holding his hands away from Jack’s body.

“You weren’t listening, Colonel.” Daniel’s voice was low and commanding. “I.Said,” he breathed into Jack’s ear, punctuating each word with a flick of his tongue, “Be.Still.And.Hands.Down.” Moving quickly over his mouth he bit down on Jack’s lower lip and gave it a little shake. “Have I made myself clear, Flyboy?”

“Uh-huh,” Jack swallowed, his heart thundering in his chest. This alpha Danny was incendiary and the flames of lust he was projecting were licking Jack’s libido into a slow but definite burn.

Without another word Daniel went back to work, starting where he had left off,  trailing  down Jack’s body; taking in the flat landscape of his belly with its trail of silver hair leading to the darker mat surrounding his thick cock.

Daniel loved Jack’s penis. It was thicker, longer and heavier than any he’d had before. He loved to watch the changes as it filled and lengthened. He loved to taste the salt/tart flavor of his pre-come. He especially loved to feel him moving and stroking inside him, touching him so intimately; joining them together in the ultimate expression of their passion for one another. Jack didn’t bottom very often, although when he was in the mood for it he relished the opportunity. When the hunger to top grabbed Daniel, however, he was very difficult to deny. Luckily for both of them their drives tended to mesh very well and it was rare that they both wanted to be the dominant partner at the same time.

Daniel looked up along Jack’s body, meeting a pair of desire-drugged brown eyes staring back at him. Keeping his gaze on his lover’s face, Daniel flipped the lid on the lube and let the cool liquid trickle over Jack’s balls and down into his cleft. He chuckled evilly at the shocked gasp that huffed from Jack’s lips as the cold gel dribbled on his overheated flesh.

“Geez, Danny, give a guy some warning won’tcha.” Jack’s wheezed complaint was quickly swallowed by a moan as his lover drew the long calloused fingertips of one hand through the viscous fluid, and then pressed down between his ass cheeks while the other hand massaged and tugged gently at his balls. Drawing long lines from the front of his cleft to the back, Daniel paid more and more attention to Jack’s tight pucker, pressing more firmly on each pass until his fingertip began to breach the little hole. Moving slowly and gently at first he progressed to longer, more invasive penetration until his digit was buried right inside Jack’s body.

Jack began to pant and rocked his pelvis, encouraging Danny deeper and deeper. Daniel’s long cock was hard and jutting, clear drops of pre-come beading and then rolling across the rosy head, making it glisten invitingly. Jack was desperate to touch it, taste it but daredn’t make a move, knowing that if nothing else Daniel would be true to his word and stop if he tried. To his utter amazement he could feel himself hardening; pulsing in time to the hammering of his heart. He wanted to feel Danny fill him; to surrender himself to the sensation overload that came with being fucked by the man who knew him best. Jack had never been willing to allow himself to be so needy in any other relationship. But this man, this fucking god of a man, could reduce him to a thread of need so fine, then dangle him there until he thought he would literally die from wanting.

The intrusion of a second and then a third finger reduced Jack to a shivering, panting mass of nerve endings. As his lover crooked his finger and began to massage his prostate on every pass Jack felt as though he was going to fly apart. Only the touch of Danny’s fingers in his ass and on his balls was tying him to this plane of existence. 

“Danny, Danny, please baby. Pleeeaase. Do it, Do me now,” he pleaded, his head thrashing on the pillow. “Fuck me, Fuuuuu…”

He was so fixated on Daniel’s fingers that he hadn’t seen him slick up his cock with the other hand. In one smooth glide his lover was inside him, balls deep and Jack screamed in ecstasy, the fullness and ache of pleasure combined with pain almost more than he could stand. It was too much; too much stimulation; too much sensation; too much love; too much intimacy and it felt to Jack as if he were losing himself. Too overwhelmed to care about the rules of their game anymore he reached for Daniel; needing his reassuring weight and heat on top of him; to be anchored before he flew so far apart that he couldn’t find his way back.

Daniel came to him willingly. He was almost at the end of his control. All rational thought gone he was only able to feel and smell and taste. He stretched out on the quivering body beneath him, Jack’s thick, impossibly hard cock pressed between their bellies, his knees drawn up to allow Daniel deeper and deeper access. Jack was silky heat and pressure as Daniel rocked relentlessly into him; claiming him, owning him, adoring him. Every stroke was a reverential expression of his ardor for this man who had demanded so much from him and had given him everything in return. Their love, like their passion for one another was uncompromising and real.

Daniel had never felt so alive.

Jack was beyond words. All he could do was cry out as he felt his orgasm racing through his body. His eyes flew open as the tsunami of sensation Daniel was creating began to crest. One final scrape of Daniel’s cock over his prostate and he was soaring and screaming as ribbons of come pulsed from his cock coating them both with hot viscous fluid.

Daniel was right behind him. Jack’s clutching heat wrapped around him in a grip that wrenched his orgasm from him and he yelled his beloved’s name over and over as each spasm drew a fiery blade of ecstasy through his gut and his balls and out, out, out until he had no idea where he ended and Jack began. He was vaguely aware of Jack trembling and twitching beneath him as his vision grayed and there was nothing but white noise in his ears.

*****

_“ **Alpha Charlie four-niner have you acquired the target**?”_

_“Four-niner receiving; target acquired; missiles locked.”_

_God, I can hardly breathe. I love this! The surge of adrenaline as my finger hovers over the firing button on the joystick. But what am I firing at? In fact where am I?_

_Ohhhh! This is getting weird. The controls of this bird look very familiar and…Yes…If I stretch to look back I can see the very distinctive wing formation out of the cockpit window. F-117 Night Hawk: My baby. I fucking loved this plane. I flew this stealth bomber in the Gulf. But that was so very long ago now. Why am I dreaming about this?_

_Ah, of course. I was flying one of these babies when I met Simon. So I suppose this dream is not a real surprise. I seem to be walking awake through my dreams all the time – if that’s not an oxymoron. Bet you wish you’d heard that one, Jackson. But of course, he’s not here ‘cause you’re dreaming, dickwad!_

_Gahhhh! Proximity sensors…that noise always makes my gut turn. Need to find…Yep, there they are…Two of the fuckers: Infrared air-to-air missiles. Have to do some fancy flying to get away from these crafty SOB’s. What I need to know is where’s the bogie that sent them my way?_

**_“Alpha Charlie four-niner: Is target acquired? Repeat: Is target acquired?”_ **

_“Four-niner receiving: I have two bandits on my tail. Unable to acquire target at this time.”_

**_“O’Neill, stop pissing about up there and get that target acquired: Do your fucking job_ ** _, **man. He’s depending on you. Over.”**_

_Yeah right, I’ll do that and stop for McDonalds, too, shall I? What the fuck do they think I’m doing up here? Playing hopscotch? And who’s depending on me…I don’t even remember this mission let alone who we might have been assisting._

_Luckily for me I’ve just seen the bastard who threw these stingers my way peel off to the North. Looks like he’s all out of ordnance so there’s nothing else to worry about but these two coming up behind me. Why the fuck can’t I get rid of these ass-sniffers. I’m using every maneuver I know, but they are stuck on my tail and getting closer. Flares are away but haven’t had any effect. Looks like I’m heading for real trouble. I could do with Teal’c and Carter in a couple of F 302’s right about now to come save my flabby old ass._

_Okay, this is getting hot. I’ve used every trick in the ‘J. Jack O’Neill Big Book of Avoiding Missiles’ but they’re still…Ahh! YES! At last a bit of luck. Seems like one of them has malfunctioned; Wave bye-bye. Wow! That was bright. What the hell are they using for warheads on these things?_

_Shit…Shit…SHIT. Took my eye off the other one for a fraction of a second and it’s right on my tail. If I can just…Yes…NO! Bastard clipped a wing._

_Everything’s spinning…Have to get…Aargh…Can’t blackout now. Keep it together, O’Neill. Ejector controls engaged and ungh…That is the worst feeling in the world as my baby and I part company. She’s already just a smoking speck below me as the ejector chutes engage and I’m yanked up and away._

_This is where all that G-training comes in. I wanna throw, but upchucking into my oxygen mask will not only be messy but seriously detrimental to my health. Gotta hold on to my breakfast until I can pull the mask off…Gahhhhh…Gotta just hold on…_

*****

“Jack. Jack, hey, lover, you okay?”

Jack opened his heavy lids to look straight into the dazzling blue of Daniel’s eyes.

“Think you passed out,” he gloated proudly as Jack struggled to sit up, the roiling nausea of his dream still lingering.

“Uhuh,” he replied groggily. His body ached as if he had really been ejected from a plane and not just fucked within an inch of his life. Jack wiped his hand across his eyes and was surprised to find wetness there.

“Hey,” Daniel murmured into his ear, “it’s okay. You were amazing. I’m still shaking myself.” The younger man drew a long finger down Jack’s cheek, across his neck and finally stilled with his hand pressed across Jack’s thudding heart.

Jack couldn’t find the energy to tell Daniel about his dream. It had left him feeling disorientated and strangely unnerved. He rolled onto his side and grabbed the other man around his shoulders, pulling him to rest partially on top of him, needing to feel his reassuring weight grounding him in reality.

“Think the coffee’s still hot?” he croaked, his throat sore and dry as much from the residual fear of the dream as from the yelling he had done in the midst of his orgasm.

“Doubt it,” Daniel mumbled against his chest, dropping little kisses along his collarbone. With a small sigh Danny stretched and slipped out of the bed, padding across the wood floor to the tray he had left over an hour earlier. He opened the top of the carafe and took a look at the contents.

“Ugh, barely lukewarm,” he grumbled. “And I suppose, it’s up to me to make some more, being as I’ve worn you out, old man.” Daniel leaned back over Jack, pressing a long slow kiss to his very willing lips.

“Oy, watch it,” Jack snorted. “Get me some coffee and a couple of those pastries and then I’ll show you who’s old.”

Daniel skipped to the side to miss the slap that Jack aimed at his backside and, picking up the carafe, walked towards the loft door. “Get your motor running Grampa, I won’t be long,” he grinned as he left the room.

Jack smirked at his retreating back and was about to flop back on the bed when he saw a movement in the doorway. Thinking Daniel had come back he turned to look straight into the eyes of a small child, only five or six years old. His heart did a thump in his chest as the boy disappeared around the doorway. Where had a kid come from? He’d looked sort of familiar. Jack swung his legs off the bed and walked quickly to the doorway, not caring about his nakedness just wanting to get another look at the child walking around their supposedly inaccessible house.

There was no one around as Jack rounded the door and looked over the balcony down into the rear garden of the house. The kid must have moved quickly to no longer be in sight, although the jungle that swept down to the back of the house was dense enough to hide a whole battalion of Jaffa. He was about to make his way down the terracotta steps when he heard Daniel’s voice float up to him.

He walked back across the loft and leaned over to see his naked lover looking up at him.

“Do you want to eat lunch yet? Looks like Izel left a shrimp salad…”

“Danny, did any kids come over with Izel or the panga today?” Jack asked, still feeling unsettled by the appearance and disappearance of the strangely familiar child.

“No.” Daniel looked puzzled. “Why?”

Jack shook his head, feeling the prickle of shock wearing off. What had he seen? Was it really a kid? The encounter had taken on a dream-like quality and he was starting to feel a bit silly. 

“Nah, it’s nothing,” he assured Daniel, scrubbing his hand across his hair. “Think I’m having anoxic hallucinations. Must be you…taking my breath away.”

Jack smirked as Daniel made gagging noises while at the same time flushing a very pleased pink. They may both be capable of macho posturing, but their sap levels were definitely rising during this vacation.

“Let’s just have coffee for now. We can eat later – unless you’re trying to get out of letting this old man prove his staying power.

Even from the loft Jack saw Daniel’s cock give a lurch at the implication and he smiled to himself as he stretched out on the hammock and began slowly swaying as he waited for Daniel to bring up the coffee.

He didn’t have to wait long as Daniel was soon joining him with two mugs of fragrant black brew. There was a little dangerous dance with the hot beverages as he slid onto the hammock next to Jack, but they were soon settled with Jack’s arm around Daniel’s shoulders, both of them sipping at the coffee.

“What was all that about a kid?” Daniel looked at Jack quizzically.

“Ah, take no notice of me,” Jack replied sheepishly. “Had some really weird dreams lately. I probably just dozed off for a second or two.”

“Weird dreams? Anything you want to talk about?” Daniel gazed at Jack his eyes soft with concern.

“Nah. Anyhow, I can think of better things to do with my mouth than yack.”

Dropping his hand to the side he placed his empty coffee cup on the floor and Daniel took his lead, doing the same. Jack ran his hands through Daniel’s hair and around to the back of his neck. Pulling his head gently towards him he pressed a soft-mouthed kiss to his lovers willing lips. They stayed melded for long minutes, tasting and exploring each other’s mouths, tongues, teeth and palates only stopping intermittently to come up for air.

“I meant it you know,” Jack murmured, stroking his crooked thumb across Daniel’s cheekbone. “You do take my breath away.”

Daniel blushed again, his eyes sparkling as he looked up into Jack’s loving gaze. They fell back onto each other’s mouths, the heady press and taste stoking a quiet burn that left them enjoyably aroused but not needing to go any further quite yet. They lay together on the gently swinging hammock, enjoying the freedom to simply be together without looking over their shoulders.

Daniel was the first to speak after almost an hour of this simple pleasure. “Not wishing to look a gift horse in the mouth but a house as beautiful as this must cost a fortune to rent and we have it for three weeks.” He shifted to look at Jack. “I know we get paid good money at the SGC; me more than you as it happens.” Daniel batted away Jack’s fingers that were threatening to poke him for that little dig. “Come on, Jack, spill. Who did you have to threaten to get this place?”

Jack raised his eyebrows and gave Daniel a withering look. “I didn’t **threaten** anyone,” he qualified haughtily. “In fact it belongs to a friend of mine…A very good friend of mine.”

That comment made Daniel sit up and take notice. He found himself bristling a little at the implication. “How good a friend, Jack? We talking school friend? Air Force buddy?”

“Well,” Jack drawled, “we were friends to begin with and we met through the Air Force.” He stopped speaking as he realized this might not be a story that either he wanted to tell or Daniel would want to hear, but he’d started now so there was no going back; Danny wouldn’t allow that.

A quirked eyebrow was all he got, but he heard the order loud and clear; ‘spill it, O’Neill.’

“Okay,” Jack started, “but don’t blame me if you don’t like what you'll hear.”

Daniel’s face was a picture of studied calm, but Jack could see the little sparks of interest and jealousy flickering in his eyes.

“As you know I flew Night Hawks during the Gulf War.”

Daniel nodded and made a go on motion with his hand.

“Well, during that time I also did some covert ops, mainly gathering intel, recovering prisoners; especially if one of our own was captured. It was all sanctioned, no black ops stuff; not then anyway.” Jack gave a little sigh and Daniel placed a hand in his, interlinking their fingers. He knew Jack found it difficult to talk about that time and while he wanted the answers to the mystery owner of La Troza he didn’t want to make Jack relive something he would rather not.

Jack turned his head and smiled gratefully at his partner. “It’s okay, Danny, there was nothing too heavy. I nearly got captured a couple of times but always seemed to have the luck o’ the Irish.” Jack shifted and pulled Daniel closer. He wasn’t sure how the younger man was going to respond to this story **,** but he knew it was going to be told whether he liked it or not.

“On one of those missions I recovered a young English pilot who had been shot down almost six months earlier. He wasn’t my target, in fact the guy they sent me in for turned up a week later in another part of the country entirely.” Jack chuckled. “Simon always said I was his knight in shining cammo.” 

“Simon?” Daniel couldn’t help blurt out. Something about Jack’s expression told him that this was more than just a war story and he wasn’t sure he was ready for what Jack was going to tell him.

“Yeah...Well, actually Lord Simon Tristram Launcelot de’Vere, Third Earl of Granville, although he wasn’t the Earl when I met him. His dad – the second Earl - died soon after he got home from Kuwait.” Jack grinned at the look of amazement on Daniel’s face at this disclosure. “Hey, I may be a back-woods boy from Minnesota but I know people,” he crowed polishing his knuckles on his chest.

He was rewarded with a light slap from Daniel for his bragging. “Okay, Flyboy, so you know an Earl. I take it there is even more to this story?”

Jack nodded. “He was really banged up. He’d been imprisoned after being shot down. His injuries were really bad and the bastards had only given him minimal medical attention.” He held tighter onto Danny’s hand, his anger at the treatment of a prisoner obvious. “He was two inches taller than me, but he’d dropped so much weight that I carried him outta there with no problem. We got in a firefight and it took nearly four hours for me to get him to a safe place where we could be extracted. I took a bullet to the thigh that through and through, but I was so hyped I didn’t realize until we got to the medical unit.” Unaware of his actions Jack’s hand moved down to press a small depression in his upper thigh. Daniel moved his hand away and traced the scar with a gentle fingertip.

“Well, we were both kept with the same med unit for the next three weeks,” Jack continued. “Simon was in a lot of pain and his hip was fused where it had been broken and reset badly, so he was in traction and bored out of his mind. We got talking and it turned out we had a lot in common.” Jack looked across at Daniel expecting to see some skepticism from the younger man, but Daniel just looked intrigued by the story.

“We both liked planes and flying obviously but we also had a passion for fishing and hunting, although mine was in my Grampa's pond in Minnesota and his was in the thirty five mile stretch of salmon river on his families Scottish estate.” Jack shook his head as the memories came thick and fast. “He made me laugh so much and he never made me feel any less than him although his family could probably have bought the State of Minnesota twice over.”

Daniel had been watching Jack’s face and saw something he had only ever seen in relation to him before. “You fell in love with him,” he said quietly, a sudden stab of jealousy and what felt, ridiculously, like fear running through him.

“Yeah,” Jack sighed. “I knew I was bi right from puberty. I already told you that. In fact the first time I had sex was with a guy, although Casey O’Malley gave me my first orgasm – but that’s another story.” Jack couldn’t stop a blush creeping over his face as he remembered, once again, that embarrassing moment.

“One I think I’d like to hear,” Daniel retorted. “But we were talking about Simon,” he finished, a mite snippy. Jack looked over at him, trying to gauge how he was taking his revelations. Daniel had known there had been other men before him, but now Jack was wondering if he’d assumed they were just buddy fucks.

“Well, he was invalided out of the RAF and sent back to England. We kept in touch by letter and the odd phone call but as far as I was concerned it was all over before it started.” Jack’s thumb was rubbing across the back of Daniel’s hand, the steady to and fro of his calloused skin over the bumpy knuckles keeping him connected to the here and now. “Then out of the blue nearly two years later I got a phone call to say he was flying in to Holloman AFB where I was based. He’d been recalled for a mission that required his particular talents and he needed to train on Night Hawks. So he was seconded to my squadron and ended up staying for almost twelve months.” Jack shifted uncomfortably. Although he knew Daniel wanted to hear this story he really didn’t want to go into intimate detail about a love affair with another man. He wasn’t sure just how little telling he could get away with but he was sure if his lover was not satisfied with his explanation then he would question him till he was.

“To cut a long story short, we were together for nearly nine months. Then I was redeployed into Special Op’s full time and we had to finish it.” Jack didn’t want to look at Daniel too afraid of what he might see in the younger man's face. “I thought I’d never see him again, but then the last time I was in DC there he was, fucking Air Vice-Marshall de’Vere, DFC.”

“So you saw him only six months ago.” There was an indefinable expression on Daniel’s face which made Jack feel ill at ease. He decided to bluff it out. After all he hadn’t done anything wrong. He was with Danny then and the idea of taking up where he had left off with Simon hadn’t even crossed his mind.

“Yeah. He was there on NATO business. He had no idea how to get in touch with me and it was only by sheer luck that we ended up in the same place at the same time,” Jack shrugged.

“Yeah, real lucky for both of you,” Daniel mumbled. Jack turned to look at him, but Daniel’s eyes were firmly fixed to Jack’s chest.

‘Digging a hole here Jack,’ he thought to himself but knew he had to carry on and get this over with. Perhaps then he could persuade Danny there was nothing for him to worry about. “Anyhow, he told me about this place: Apparently his family has owned it for nearly forty years. He said if I ever needed to get away with you, to somewhere isolated and beautiful, then I should give him a call.

The fact that Jack had obviously mentioned him to Simon made Daniel look up sharply. “So you told him about us?”

Jack nodded. “Whadda you think? He asked me what I was doing yadda, yadda, but of course I couldn’t tell him. He told me about his job and his partner - who’s a male model, by the way, and twenty plus years younger than him – and then asked me who I was with.” Jack grinned at Daniel but didn’t get a smile back. Shit, perhaps this was going to backfire after all. He decided to tell the truth. “I gushed about you for forty five minutes before Si told me to shut up already. I think he’d like to meet you to see how a beat up old codger like me managed to get such a shining star.”

“You never told me you’d met **‘Si’** in DC, Jack: Why not?” There was anger in Daniel’s voice and he was struggling to get up from the hammock. Jack knew he wanted to stomp out of the room, but he wasn’t willing to let this story end like that. Desperate to stop them both being dumped on the floor he gently pulled Daniel back towards him and planted a soft kiss on his forehead.

“Danny, when I got home all I wanted was to be with you, kiss you, love you within an inch of your life. I didn’t want to talk about ex-lovers. That’s water under the bridge. If you hadn’t nearly died on me again I might never have taken him up on his offer.” Jack gave him a little shake, trying to make him let go of the tension he could feel. “As it is **we** are in the middle of paradise, **you** and **me** , Danny. He gave us the run of the place for free, for old time’s sake. I could never have afforded to bring you here otherwise.” Jack breathed a small sigh of relief as he felt Daniel begin to relax into him again.

“He would like to meet you though. When I told him you were an archaeologist he got very excited. Apparently there's a Viking burial mound on his land that he has been dying to excavate…” Daniel’s head shot up from Jack’s shoulder, his eyes blazing with bright interest.

“Viking! Jack, why didn’t you tell me…We could have gone there this vacation instead of…”Daniel was breathless with anticipation.

Jack gusted out a loud laugh and then shook his head, pouting his lower lip outrageously. “Here I was thinking that being in paradise with me was the ultimate way to tell you I love you and you’re so easily seduced by the Scottish Laird and his dusty old rocks.”

Daniel looked up at him, his mouth a shocked ‘o’. He looked positively mortified at his insensitivity. “Oh, no Jack,” he apologized, covering Jack’s face with little kisses. “I’d much rather be here with my own precious artifact. In fact there are some really quite urgent investigations of this particular site I need to go down on…Ahem…I mean get down **to** as soon as possible.”

Before Jack had a chance to make another comment Daniel squirmed down his body and took up residence between Jack’s thighs. All rational thought fled from his mind as Danny’s hot, wet mouth engulfed his rather interested cock and he gave himself up to the wonderful sensation of his lover’s clever tongue and mobile lips, knowing that, while the subject would no doubt re-emerge, for now, Simon de’Vere was forgotten.

 

 


	3. Through A Glass, Darkly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not speak any other languages fluently so I used Google translate. I apologise to any native speakers if the translations are incorrect.

Jack walked slowly along the powder soft sand feeling the minute grains sliding between his toes. He liked the sensation; it gave him something to concentrate on beside the pair of blue eyes he knew were watching him from the Beach House only yards away. Behind the lenses of his dark glasses his eyes were unfocussed and pinched. Another night of confused and disturbing dreams had left him feeling distinctly antsy and he had escaped to the beach where there was nothing but the sound of the white foamed breakers to distract him from his introspection. He’d had nothing more than growls for Daniel all morning and had decided that he should keep his own company for a while, if nothing else but to stop his lover from looking at him with confusion that was bound to become questions before too long. He didn’t know what was wrong himself, so there was absolutely no chance that he could explain things to Danny. The sick feeling in his stomach seemed to be getting worse day by day and he almost hoped that it would become something tangible. Even a dose of the stomach flu would be better than the queasy feeling of presentiment that pervaded his waking and sleeping. If he could just throw up then he could believe that it was just some bug that had made itself at home in his gut. Perhaps if he threw up he would feel better. Wouldn’t he?

Daniel watched, worried, from his vantage point in the soaking pool on the deck. Hands folded beneath his chin on the edge of the mosaic pool he followed Jack’s progress along the beach with a growing feeling of unease. Something was obviously bothering his lover but Jack seemed neither willing nor able to verbalise it and had reverted to a state of grunting snippy adolescence that Daniel always equated with Jack being afraid. When Jack got scared he reacted by becoming belligerent. It was a defence mechanism that Daniel recognised from the many episodes of ‘snake baiting,’ that Jack threw himself into when SG1 were in a serious situation with one System Lord or another. He wasn’t usually afraid for himself – Jack was probably the bravest man Daniel had ever known. Rather his concern would be for his team and the possible outcomes of the decisions he had to make moment by moment. He would ‘act up,’ unwilling to show his apprehension or alarm to either his team members or the snake-head du jour.

Daniel sighed and ran a long slender finger over his lips, wracking his brains for anything that might have happened to get Jack so far off kilter. They were here at the Beach House for R & R and so far their first week had been almost idyllic. The house itself was amazing, as was its location and Daniel had been bowled over by it. He had been more than a little put out when he found out it belonged to an ex-lover of Jack’s and he was still feeling the little niggle of jealousy that had wormed its way into his mind. Jack’s reaction to his memories of Simon had pushed the little green eyed monster right to the front of Daniels thoughts and he was only holding off asking more questions because Jack seemed so distracted.

Trying to clear his mind of these stupid and potentially damaging thoughts, Daniel let his eyes rake over the tall, slim frame of his older lover. Jack was dressed in a way that kept Daniel semi-hard all the time he was in view. His clothes were white and fine woven. A short sleeved linen shirt, unbuttoned, blew out slightly in the soft breeze giving tantalising glimpses of his tanned, muscled torso. Loose fitting pants with a drawstring at the waist hung low on his narrow hips. The cuffs were turned up several times and finished just above his ankles, showing off his bare feet. His silvered hair was almost bleached white by the strong sunshine. His tan had deepened and now showed off every well developed muscle in his forearms and chest. Jack took Daniel’s breath away and stoked his libido without ever trying. Daniel sighed deeply. “What can I do to get you to relax, Jack,” he murmured to himself. “What’s going on in that crazy, clever, beautiful head of yours?

“Mr. Daniel.” Izel’s gentle, low timbre voice intruded into his reverie. He turned to look at the small woman who was standing at the side of the pool.

“Juan is not able to collect me until later today; the panga has some trouble with the engine. I wondered if you would like me to prepare and serve your main meal at lunchtime today and just leave you a light dinner?” She cocked her head and gave him a sweet smile.

“Oh,” Daniel said quickly, “would that be okay?” He frowned slightly, “I mean is it your job to do that…erm, I mean…” Daniel began to blush. He was an explorer, he met new people (alien races for goodness sake who wanted sometimes to hurt, maim or even kill him) almost every working day and here he was finding it hard to negotiate with a small Mexican woman who had his best interests at heart. Izel saw his discomfort and quickly put him at his ease.

“Ah, Mr. Daniel,” she interrupted, smiling brightly. “I am cook and housekeeper here at La Troza. I have great pride in making Mr. Simon’s guests happy and enjoying their stay here.”

The mention of Simon de’Vere’s name piqued Daniels curiosity and he couldn’t help himself from asking, “Do you know Mr. Simon well, Izel?”

A broad, warm smile split Izel’s face. “I have known Mr. Simon since he was a very small boy, when his father bought La Troza many years ago.”

Daniel took one more look out to the beach and saw that Jack was now on the other side of the cove. He wouldn’t be back for a while. Pushing down his misgivings Daniel made a decision. “Izel, would you mind making coffee and then perhaps we could have a little chat.”

*****

Fifteen minutes later Daniel was sitting at the dining table. He had dressed, in deference to Izel, almost identically to Jack, much to the small woman’s amusement. She was used to guests wandering around the house in various states of undress. In fact some of the wilder parties that her employer had held here in years past had left her unfazed by anything. Sliding the laden coffee tray on the table she placed the carafe of Santa Catarina and a plate of little sweet bizcochitos in front of Daniel along with a large, leather bound book.

“Mr. Simon loves to keep photographs of all his parties,” she explained whilst pouring the fragrant brew into deep wide cups. “There are many pictures here of el rey de monos.”

As Izel was speaking Daniel was taking his first reverent sip of coffee. He almost sprayed it across the table as Izel’s remark sank through his caffeine worship.

“King of the Monkeys?” he choked out.

Izel blushed bright pink. “Yo y mi bocota.”   

Daniel tried not to laugh again but a snort made its way out and he shook his head in apology.

“Johnny, cabeza en aire, he called him that,” she explained, still blushing furiously.

“Johnny-head-in-air?” Daniel translated. He had a vague notion that this was a quote but where it was from was nebulous. It always niggled at him if he couldn’t remember something but he was distracted by Izel sliding the now open leather album towards him.

“Mr. Simon always said he was his one true love,” she said sadly as she pointed to a photo of a very familiar handsome face that was smiling out at Daniel. Two young pilots sat on the wing of their jet in flight suits, their helmets perched jauntily on their heads.

“Jack.” The name came out as a strangled whisper.

“No, Mr. Daniel, Jon.” The housekeeper quirked a little puzzled smile. “He was a pilot, like Mr. Simon,” Izel shook her head sorrowfully. “They never came here so I did not meet him but Mr. Simon still talks of him.” Her finger ran slowly down the face of the devastatingly handsome man who was captured in another, larger photograph. Taller than Jack by a good couple of inches, he had black curly hair way over regulation length and deep blue gray eyes the colour of thunder clouds. Jack was looking at Simon who was in turn looking straight into the camera and they both looked – blissfully happy.

“This is my Jack,” he choked out, not really talking to Izel but needing to express his revelation out loud.  Izel looked at the photo once more and then back at Daniel with a look of shocked recognition.

“Madre de Dios.” Izel stood, flustered, and began to tidy away the untouched coffee. “This is cold,” she said hurriedly, “I will make more, Mr. Daniel,” Her face still flushed and her teeth worrying her bottom lip she began to leave the room.

Daniel stood quickly. He wanted her to stay, to explain more about this beautiful man and his relationship with his own true love. Before he could call her back out of the corner of his eye he caught the still form of Jack standing in the entrance way that led from the patio deck to the dining room. His stillness would have looked relaxed to any casual observer but Daniel knew Jack’s body language far better than that. He could see that he was poised for a fight but that he was waiting for Daniel to make the first move. The young man was shaking with a mixture of fear and possessive rage. His rational mind was well aware that he was not Jack’s first male lover but he wanted so much to be the only one he had truly loved.

The silence stretched out between them so tautly that even the cicada’s constant song seemed muted. Finally Daniel sat back down at the table and pulled the photo album towards him. Flipping over a few pages it seemed that a large proportion of this heavy book was taken over with photos of Jack and Simon together both in and out of uniform. Daniel swallowed hard against the rising surge of jealousy that threatened to spill out of him in ugly words and accusations.

He was suddenly aware that they had no such record of their time together as lovers. Yes, there were team snaps aplenty and formal portraits of them both from innumerable SGC and Pentagon shindigs. But they had nothing so very…intimate. Jack was almost paranoid about anything that could be traced back to them as a couple. Daniel had only two snaps which had been taken by Teal’c during a visit to Abydos and one of Jack’s SGC barbeques. They showed Jack and Daniel in unguarded moments; a look of love captured seemingly by accident and they were buried away in the back of his safe hidden in plain sight amongst other less incendiary pictures.

“Looks like you had a lot of fun together,” Daniel finally ground out. He felt rather than saw Jack moving towards him and waited.

“We were very young,” Jack said quietly. “We were reckless and our lives were so dangerous we really didn’t know if the next mission would be our last. He always had a camera with him. In fact he took that photo on my office wall. You know, the one of the sunset out of the cockpit of the F117.” He moved a chair close to Daniel and turning it he slid astride it, his long legs stretched out either side and his chin resting on the back. “Si used to say that photographs were the art of the future; that all the portraits on the wall of Castle Mey couldn’t capture immediacy the way a photo could.”

“Our lives are that dangerous.” Daniel snapped, wanting to scream at Jack but just managing to hold in the irrational anger that he was feeling. “Yet you won’t even let me take a snap of you in the back yard. What’s so different Jack?”

The older man frowned with puzzlement. He had been expecting the third degree about his relationship with Simon. He shouldn’t have been surprised that there were albums in the Beach House; after all Simon had photos everywhere. What was amazing to him was that so many of the contents were of him. He had known that he was important to the other pilot but this was a real surprise.

“You know why Daniel,” Jack sighed tiredly.  “I’m going to be retiring soon and then…”

“Fuck you, Jack.” His retort was so vehement that Jack physically rocked back in his seat. “All you ever wanted was to fly, you’ve told me that over and over. You had so much more to lose then than you do now.” Angrily he turned the album to face Jack and stabbed a finger at the picture in the centre of the page. It showed Jack and Simon, stripped to the waist, leaning against an antique cannon with a large castle in the background. They were both dishevelled and sweaty and had a post coital glow about them that was unmissable.

“Nice, Jack: The ‘just fucked’ look?” Unable to stay still any longer, Daniel pushed his chair back and began to pace, ticking off points on his fingers. “I don’t care how reckless you were, you didn’t have the seniority you do now. You know the President for fuck’s sake, we’ve saved the planet more times than I wish to remember and I’ve died, DIED, Jack, so many times. Do you think they’d really throw you in Leavenworth? Give you a dishonourable discharge? How come it was alright with Simon, Jack and it’s not okay with me.” He turned to glare at the older man and Jack could see his hands shaking.

“Daniel…”

“He has all these memories, Jack and you were only together a year. We have been lovers for four years now and I have two snapshots, taken by accident and they are hidden away where no one ever sees them – not even me!” Tears shone in Daniels eyes but he refused to let them fall. “I’m sick of it Jack; sick of hiding and pretending and waiting…” He tried to stem the flow of words before he said something stupid or worse. He wasn’t even sure where all this bitterness was coming from but the jealousy that had begun a few days before had sunk its green claws into his gut and was refusing to let go.

Jack stood silently and walked across to where Daniel stood, his arms tightly laced across his chest, his posture stiff and vibrating with tension.

“Danny, please just listen.” He put out a hand to pull Daniel to him and then dropped it back to his side as Daniel shrugged him off.  “I understand and I’m sorry. The Brits have a different culture and rules with regard to gay servicemen. Simon never had the fears or hang ups I have and he wasn’t about to kowtow to a rule which he thought was ridiculous in the extreme. He was careful with his pictures; did all his own developing and kept them all locked away while he was in the US. When we went to Castle Blair on leave he took them all with him and spent days sticking them in his damn albums.” Jack tried once more to touch Daniel and was relieved when his lover allowed Jack to pull him into his chest. “I’m so sorry, Danny. I want more than anything to be able to tell the world you’re mine and that I love you. And yes you are right; I am paranoid about something getting out about us.”

“Half the base already thinks we’re doing it,” Daniel muttered sourly.

“Yeah?” Jack snorted and then schooled his features as Daniel’s eyes flashed a warning at him. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry. I know you put up with so much to keep me safe but I don’t know how else to be.”

Daniel pushed half heartedly against his chest. “You knew how to be something else with Simon.”

“I genuinely thought one of us would be dead before the year was out.” Jack dropped a sweet, soft kiss onto Daniel’s forehead. “I also know in my heart that we are going to grow old together so I want us to be comfortably off in our old age, not scraping along on savings and food stamps.”  The older man looked at his lover and lifted his chin so their eyes met. He was gratified to see that some of the fire had gone from his lovers gaze. “I know money isn’t everything, but my pension is worth a hell of a lot now and it will give us a much better life.” He hugged Daniel close, trying to put all his passion for him into gently moving fingers that skimmed over his back and hooked under his loose shirt to caress soft skin. “I want to travel Danny, see the places you love, show you the places I love. I want to remodel the house; put in a bigger master bathroom – one of those huge rain shower heads you love so much.” Jack waggled his eyebrows in a comic leer.

Daniel began to relax, unsure where all the irrational anger had come from. Jack’s hands felt good on his skin, leaving little burning trails of want in their wake. The jealousy was still there, still tugging at his gut and making him feel unsettled and jumpy. Without thinking about it he turned his head and latched onto Jack’s neck, sucking hard at the tender flesh. He was gratified to feel Jack’s cock give a definite jump at the sensation and suddenly a plan formed in his mind. By the time he as finished with him Jack would know who his lover was and how he owned his paranoid military ass. First there were a few preparations to make and Izel was going to be serving lunch anytime. So Daniel would wait and spring a surprise on his lover that it would take him a long time to forget.

“You startin’ somthin’?” Jack drawled pulling Daniel in to feel the burgeoning hardness against him.

“Nah,” Daniel replied casually. “Izel is making us lunch. The panga is laid up in the dock for repairs and Juan won’t be here for a couple of hours. So she asked if we’d like our main meal now.”

Jack looked a little crestfallen but cheered up when Izel walked through from the kitchen carrying two plates crammed with steak, shrimp, shoelace fries and bright red tomato, pepper, onion and chilli salad.

The two men sat quickly at the table and a rather quiet Izel served their meal. As she turned to leave Daniel caught her by the hand.

“Izel. Lo siento. Mi hizo sentir incómoda y me disculpo. Todo esta bien ahora.” He gave her one of his most brilliant smiles and her face creased with relief.

“Claro. Enjoy your meal.  Your dessert is in the blue container in the freezer compartment of the fridge in the kitchen. It is my mamma’s Pastel de Tres Leches. If you take it out five minutes before you are ready to eat it then it will be perfecto I think. Juan will be here in a few minutes. I will see you in the morning, Mr. Daniel, Mr. Jack.” With a little wave over her shoulder she left the room.

Jack waved his fork in her direction as he smiled around a mouthful of food. The steak was cooked to perfection and for the first time in a couple of days he was not feeling the nausea that had dogged every meal. Dessert sounded like it was going to be interesting too.

“So, ‘King of the Monkey’s’?”

Jack’s shoulders dropped as he realised that although the heat was gone, the discussion was still up for airing. He might have known that Daniel would not let it go without having all the facts at his disposal. Resigning himself to seeing it through to the bitter end he plastered a smile on his face and looked over at Daniel.

“That was because Si managed, on no less than three occasions, to be shot down over enemy territory, ejecting from his plane and ending up dangling from a tree. If that wasn’t enough, to add insult to injury, one time he was pelted with rotten fruit by monkeys. So – ‘King of the Monkey’s’.”

“Ahh I see,” Daniel nodded.  “Then why are you Johnny-head-in-air?” There was still a glint of something angry in Daniel’s eyes. Jack just wanted to kiss him, to take the doubt away. But he knew he had to face this head on; to clear the air once and for all.

“It’s from a poem by an English war poet called John Pudney;

_‘Do not despair_   
_For Johnny-head-in-air;_   
_He sleeps as sound_   
_As Johnny underground.’_

Si thought it was appropriate for me – He always said I was a dreamer. It tells the reader not to worry about the pilot and the danger of death that he faces, just to go on and look after his family.” Jack shrugged, feeling the prickle of tears forming in his eyes and he bit them back angrily.  “Like I said Daniel, we believed we would die, quickly and probably sooner rather than later. What we were doing was dangerous and dirty.” Jack pushed his plate away, his appetite dulled by the dark memories. “Black ops aren’t like the SGC. You go in knowing that no-one will be watching your six. There is no team, just you, your firearm and the pack on your back.”

Jack fell silent as his mind went back to missions long gone; all the times when he’d said goodbye to Simon believing that they would never see one another again. Their reunions had been hot and sweet and all consuming. He flushed as he realised he was getting aroused by the sense memory of that time. He felt a deep rush of guilt that he was thinking about another man while he was sitting in the middle of paradise with the man he loved more than anything in the Universe. What the fuck was wrong with him.

Daniel watched as emotions skittered across Jack’s face. There was so much he didn’t know about this man and suddenly the jealousy remerged with a vengeance.

“You never talk about it, Jack. You’ve never told me about that time. Why not? I have clearance for the SGC and you tell me I can’t be trusted with intel about missions that happened nearly thirty years ago!”

“Daniel,” Jack clenched his jaw against the words he really wanted to speak - ‘ _back off, shut up, leave me the fuck alone.’_ He knew that would only make things worse. Instead he stood slowly and moved over to his lover’s side.  “Did it ever occur to you that I don’t talk about it because I don’t want you to know what I did; what I was ordered to do?”  

He dragged a reluctant Daniel to his feet and turned him to face him. He wanted to look into his eyes and make him understand that there was nothing to be jealous of.

“We talked about it then because he was there, he knew what I was going through. Just like you and me after any mission through the Gate. We talk about what happened, both good and bad, but I’m not sure that in twenty years time I’d want to tell someone else about some of the things **we’ve** done.” Jack framed Daniels face with his hands, running his thumbs over his cheekbones and down onto his lips.  “I love you Danny, more than anyone…Anyone, including Simon. What do I have to do to make you believe that?” Jack turned his body into Daniel’s intent on wrapping him in his arms and using his body to say what his words could not.

Daniel’s feelings left him ambivalent. Part of him wanted to respond to Jack’s gentle caress; to turn his lips to that arousing thumb and press kisses there; to get back to the heady feelings that were thrumming through him only a few minutes before. The other side of him was hot with jealousy. He didn’t know why today’s revelations were leaving him so angry but he couldn’t shake the urge to pick a fight with Jack, as if venting would help some how.

The anger won.

“Letting you fuck me is not making this go away Jack. You can’t expect me to just forget that you had a lover who you allowed to be all the things you won’t allow **me** to be.” Daniel’s irritation grew as his temper took away his ability to communicate fluently. “I try to understand what all your repressed military bullshit is about; I respect your fears for your career, your command. I’ve given up my chance to have an open relationship with someone else because I love you, only to find out that those rules only apply to me. You say you love me, but you don’t love me enough to give me that!”

“Daniel, you’re being ridiculous…” Jack was shocked at the vehemence of Daniel’s rant. Pulling away from him the younger man didn’t give him chance to continue.

“Not only that but I find out that you saw him only a few months ago and didn’t feel the need to tell me, along with bringing me to **his** Beach House which is full of photos of the two of you together. Change places with me Jack, and then tell me not to be jealous.”

Jack watched open mouthed as Daniel marched out of the open doors, across the patio and then onto the beach, where his quick walk turned into a sprint taking him across the cove and as far away from the house as he could get.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut against a flood of despair that seemed to consume him. He had to go after Daniel, that much was clear, but he had no idea how to make this right again. He opened his eyes to gauge how far his lover had gone when he noticed the small boy standing directly in front of him. His mouth fell open in shock.

“Where the fuck did you come from,” he demanded gruffly, surprise making him snap angrily.

The little boys blue eyes lit up and he smiled shyly. “Daddy, is it time to go?”

The words hit Jack like a bullet and he felt a sharp pain through his chest.

“Charlie?”

 Staggering back he felt the chair behind him and fell onto it, his breathing shallow. Without warning he began to heave and emptied his stomach onto the tiled floor in front of him. Struggling with his rebelling stomach and the accompanying dizziness he dragged his eyes back to where the child had stood but there was no-one there. Unable to stop himself Jack slid forward off the chair and into the mess he had made. As the edges of his vision began to grey and recede he realised that the little boy, although familiar, could not have been his son.  His hair was too blonde and his eyes not the right shade of blue. With a sad acceptance of that revelation he slumped, limp and unconsciousness on the floor.

 

_“We gotta get outta this place,_

_If it’s the last thing we ever do._

_We gotta get outta this place._

_Girl there’s a better life for me and you.”_

_Shit, ‘The Animals’ are right. There’s got to be something better than this crap hole of a town…_

_Fuck…Dammit. I’m dreaming again. Which crap hole of a town am I talking about because I don’t really know? Let’s do a sit rep, see if I can get any useful intel here._

_There’s a store over there that looks really familiar. I’ll put down my fishing pole and go…Oh! I recognise this pole. It’s the one my gramps gave me for my thirteenth birthday. The one I broke in a temper when he refused to take me to Minneapolis with him. He never took me fishing again after that no matter how hard I pleaded. I felt like such a heel when I realised he’d made it himself. The fact that I’d broken it was enough but to know that the old man had put in hours of work to make it for me and then I just threw it in his face – almost literally. I hurt him so badly and although he never said so I think he never really forgave me. It wasn’t the same between us from then on. I’d always been the favourite grandchild. He never got on with my cousin Brad; he hated the outdoors, preferring TV and football to time spent by the pond at the cabin. His sister Claire was a girly girl and not Gramps type at all. He was a hard man, toughened by work and war and adversity. He wanted me to join the Marine Corps like he did but I wanted to fly so much. He was so angry with me for joining the Air Force that he never even came to say goodbye when I left for the Academy. He was too proud and too stubborn and I was too afraid to face him.  I was overseas when he died and couldn’t even get to his funeral. I was so surprised to find he’d left me the cabin._

_Sheesh, I haven’t thought about that time in Eagle Lake for so long and now here I am and fuck…There he is._

_“Gramps?”  God, my voice sounds funny: Squeaky and hoarse. Puberty was a bad time for me. I went through everything ten times worse than any of my friends. Acne, massive growth spurts that took me from five feet nothing to six feet two in a matter of months. I had pains all over my body. I wasn’t a shy kid but I was a gawky teen and despite what I may imply I didn’t find it easy to talk to girls – or boys for that matter, ‘cause I definitely knew pretty quickly that either sex could float my boat quite easily. Not that I would have said anything to the old bear standing next to me right now. He would have beaten me the other side of next Tuesday if he’d found out that I had a bigger hankering for Alec Strong than I did for his sister Julie._

_What’s that he’s saying?_

_“What you doing lollygagging around here boy. There’s work to be done. If you don’t get pulling your finger out your ass soon it’s going to be too late. He needs you and time’s running out.”_

_If I knew what the fuck…Ow! Did I say that out loud? Must have ‘cause the back-hander he just gave me was not for nothing. He could hit hard and he didn’t pull his whacks but he never hit for no reason. I always knew I deserved it._

_“Sorry Sir.”_

_He’s nodding now but he looks so very sad. Was it me? Did I put that look of disappointment on his face? Shit, I feel like I just broke my fishing pole all over again._

_“No, don’t leave. Please Gramps. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”_

_He’s walking back across the street and doesn’t look back once. I want to scream at him but the words won’t come out as my stupid voice lets me down again, squeaking and squawking like a strangled parrot._

_I loved him so much and I let him down. I hate myself for that. I feel so bad that I can’t stop the tears. He hated crying, used to say only girls and nancy-boys cried. Looks like you were right Gramps even though you never knew who I really was. Wouldn’t have mattered how much I said I was sorry he would’ve never understood that._

_And this little town still suffocates me, the radio is still playing The Animals but as I turn back to my fishing pole the water looks soooo inviting. I feel dirty, soiled somehow. I need to clean off and the pond sure is a beautiful shade of blue…the exact blue of Danny’s eyes…so beautiful..._

 

It took Daniel a few minutes of hard running before he realised that he wasn’t sure what he was running from. He stopped suddenly, knee deep in the surf, his toes pressing hard into the wet sand beneath them.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jackson?” he muttered to himself. Dragging his hands through his hair he thought back to the argument they – or rather he – had just had. His jealousy had caused them to fight and the irrational anger it had stirred up had made him say things he didn’t really mean.

He dropped down into the surf, allowing the waves to wash over him time after time, cooling his temper and lulling him with their regularity.

‘So what’s this about really?’ he wondered, biting his bottom lip as he puzzled out his reactions. He knew he wasn’t Jack’s first male lover; Jack had made no secret of that. But it had been many years since he had been with a man. He had been faithful to Sarah and apart from a few ill judged and drug influenced dalliances off-world there had been no one since his divorce from her either until he and Daniel had hooked up not long after Jack had returned from Eudora. If he was to be believed he had fallen head over heels for Daniel on their first trip through the gate and, even though he thought he would never see him again, had decided that there could be no-one else for him. Daniel cracked a small wry grin.

“The guy tells you that he was willing to be celibate for the rest of his life if he couldn’t have you and you accuse him of not loving you enough. You’re such a fucking asshole. Am I really so insecure that just a mention of an ex-lover gets me screaming like a harpy.”

Daniel leapt to his feet and began to run back to the Beach House, water streaming from his clothes as he loped up the beach and to onto the patio. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it but he knew he had to put this right, and quickly. The sight of Jack face down in a pool of vomit brought him up cold.

“Jack? JACK?” In two strides he was next to the prone figure of his lover, his fingers pressed to his neck searching for his pulse. It was there, strong if a little fast. The acrid smell of the mess surrounding him battered at Daniel’s nose and he had to beat down the urge to add the contents of his own stomach to that already there. He turned Jack over and quickly pulled him away from the noisome puddle turning him onto his side, checking his airways and putting him into the recovery position. He was about to reach for the satellite phone when Jack began to come around, coughing a little as he tried to clear his airways.

“Jack, lie still,” Daniel insisted as the older man tried to sit up. “I’m calling for the boat. We have to get you to a doctor.”

Reaching out Jack snagged hold of Daniel’s hand. “Don’t need a doctor,” he croaked through acid clogged airways, “need water.” Daniel moved over to the dining room bar and grabbed a cool bottle of mineral water from the fridge. He cracked the lid as he hurried back to his lover’s side.

“Just a little at a time,” he advised gently. “You’ve already thrown up once; you don’t need a repeat performance.”

Jack snorted weakly, but took his advice, sipping the cool liquid and allowing it to soothe his throat. He felt as weak as a kitten and it was all he could do to prop himself up on one arm. He wasn’t sure why he had passed out after being so very sick, but he sure as hell didn’t want to do it again.

After a few minutes of fretful hovering by Daniel and irritated coughing by Jack, the older man felt able to get up and make his way to the master bedroom. Daniel walked beside him, his face clouded with concern. Jack stripped off his soiled clothes and stepped gratefully into the shower. Daniel sat on the closed toilet seat, afraid to leave his lover alone in the bathroom in case he collapsed again.

“So what happened, Jack?” Daniel called over the sound of the running water.

“I’ve no idea Danny. One minute I’m wondering where you were running to and the next I wake up in a pile of my own barf.” Jack was really unsure what had been the precursor to his collapse. He had a vague memory but…

“I still think we ought to get you to a doctor.” Daniel stood outside the shower with a towel as he heard the water go off.  “What if I’d been gone for longer? What if you’d hit your head?”

Jack shook his head fondly at the worried frown on Daniel’s face. “I’ve been feeling queasy since the flight here, you know that. Perhaps now I’ve finally thrown up it’ll settle down.” Tucking the towel around his hips he took Daniel by the shoulders and smiled at him reassuringly. “I’m okay Danny, apart from needing a toothbrush and some industrial strength mouthwash.” He gave his lover a lopsided grin and moved to the sink to clean his teeth. As he took away the rank taste from his mouth he watched Daniel in the mirror. As he expected, the man looked guilty, as if what had happened was his fault.

“Look, Daniel,” Jack smiled gently as he turned and smoothed the frown from between Daniel’s eyes. “What I want now more than anything else is a long cold drink and for us to relax in the hammock for a while.” He brought cold, mint flavoured lips to meet Daniel’s in a soft chaste kiss. “I think we have some stuff to talk about and I for one would like to be comfortable to do it.”

Daniel nodded, still concerned. “If you’re sick again we call the doctor,” he insisted quietly.

“OK,” Jack agreed with a shrug, “But I feel fine now.” Slinging his arm around Daniel’s shoulders he moved them both out of the bathroom and along to the stairs to the loft. He wasn’t lying, he did feel better, although as he thought about what had happened the image of a familiar little boy flashed into his mind and he had to fight to quell the queasy feeling that rolled around his stomach. “All I need is to kick back and take a load off,” he added almost too cheerily, not really sure which of them he was trying to convince.

 

_Yo y mi bocota:  Me and my big mouth_

_Lo siento. Mi hizo sentir incómoda y me disculpo. Todo esta bien ahora: I'm sorry. I made you uncomfortable and I apologise. Everything is alright now._

_FOR JOHNNY_   
_Do not despair_   
_For Johnny-head-in-air;_   
_He sleeps as sound_   
_As Johnny underground._   
_Fetch out no shroud_   
_For Johnny-in-the-cloud;_   
_And keep your tears_   
_For him in after years._   
_Better by far_   
_For Johnny-the-bright-star,_   
_To keep your head,_   
_And see his children fed._   
  
_John Pudney_

 

 

 

 


	4. Through A Glass, Darkly IV

“I don’t think this is such a good idea, Jack.” Daniel followed his lover out onto the beach, watching as he pulled the goggles over his eyes and adjusted the snorkel. “It’s not even been 24 hours since you passed out in your own vomit,” he continued worriedly, “So diving is definitely not a great idea.”

Jack snorted. “Who are you, Janet Fraiser?” He shook his head. “I’m a grown man, Danny. I risk my life every time I go through the fucking Gate. I don’t think a little snorkelling in twenty feet of water is going to put me in any danger, do you?” Jack turned and held his hands out to his side.

“No,” Daniel agreed reluctantly. He didn’t want to be a killjoy, but so far this trip had been one physical or emotional disaster after another. He really wanted to get back on an even keel, but something was keeping him slightly off balance.

“Look, if you’re worried then why not come with?” Jack’s eyes softened as he looked over at his lover. “I know you can snorkel. Let’s see if we can find the Enchanted Cave.” he smiled hopefully.

“Enchanted Cave?” Daniel’s eyes lit up. “What Enchanted Cave?”

“Simon found it one time when he was here and he wrote to me about it. I have a good idea where it is. It’s got some interesting rock formations apparently.”

Daniel felt his feathers ruffle at the mention of Simon’s name. How could a guy from Jack’s distant past make him feel so jealous and possessive? Trying to shake off the twinge of annoyance that set him on edge he plastered a big smile on his face. “Great. I’ll go and get my stuff – don’t leave without me!”

Jack watched him loping up the beach and into the house. Despite his best efforts Daniel had not covered his irritation at Jack’s name-dropping and he could have kicked himself. This holiday was supposed to be a time for them to get away from the stresses of their work and to reconnect with one another. The virus that had made Daniel so ill had been the last straw for Jack. He couldn’t stop thinking about Daniel's convulsing body and about how scared he'd been of losing his lover. Jack shook his head. He’d never had the inclination for maudlin thoughts before. In fact he had trained himself not to think about what could’ve happened in any situation. What was happening now was the most important thing, staying in the moment; dealing with issues as they arose and then…He sighed. All these weird dreams he was having were of the past and it was playing havoc with his equilibrium. He felt off balance and stretched somehow. It was as if there was something he should be doing but what it was he had no idea.

Flopping down onto the soft sand he began to pull bright blue flippers over his feet, making sure the ankle strap was comfortable and untwisted. More than anything now he wanted to be in the water, away from all the stress and confusion; he needed to float and stretch with no walls or ground to restrict him. He rolled his head, easing his stiff neck muscles and turned to look for Daniel’s return from the house. His stomach gave a lurch as he looked straight into the very blue eyes of a boy, no more than twelve or thirteen years old, who was staring back at him with the kind of disdain only a teenager could muster.

“Hey,” Jack called out warily. “Where did you spring from?”

The kid just carried on staring at Jack, eyes coldly assessing him. Jack had seen that look before in battle-hardened soldiers; their emotions battened down where nothing could get to them; carefully controlled in a way that no child’s should be. Jack felt a shiver trickle down his back. Again this kid looked familiar and Jack was starting to get a bad feeling about the random appearance of children in this supposedly unpopulated corner of the Mexican coast.

“Look, kid,” he tried again. “We both know you shouldn’t really be here but, hey, I’m not mad. Just wondering why that’s all.” Jack made to stand up and saw the boy tense. He was ready to run and Jack didn’t want that. He was going to get to the bottom of this and he could only do that if he could get this kid to communicate. Where was Daniel when you needed him? This was more his bag than Jack’s. Trying to make his movements slow and easy he placed one flippered foot on the sand and began to rise. If the kid decided to run he would never catch him with half a yard of bendy rubber on his feet. He watched carefully as the kid’s eyes widened. A look of abject fear replaced the earlier blank look as the boy seemed to see something terrifying over Jack's left shoulder. Despite all his training Jack found himself turning his head and following his gaze. He winced as the sun bloomed from behind a small cloud and momentarily blinded him; bringing stinging tears to his eyes as he flinched away from the overwhelming brightness.

“You okay, Jack?” Daniel’s voice was concerned.

Jack was disturbed that he hadn’t heard Daniel coming down the beach. ‘Slipping up, old man,’ he thought distractedly. He shook his head to dislodge the irritation from his eyes and then turned back to where the teen had been sitting. There was nothing, not even a dent in the sand where the sullen young man had been and Jack felt his stomach turn.

“Jack?” Daniel tried again. He crouched down and placed a hand on his shoulder, worried to feel a slight trembling under the older man’s skin. “Right, that does it. We’re not going swimming. I’m calling for the boat. Something’s wrong and we need to get it sorted out.”

Jack couldn’t explain why, but he was certain that going to the hospital on the mainland was a bad idea and anyway, he didn’t want anyone but Janet Fraiser poking and prodding him.

“Danny, I’m fine,” he barked out, a little more severely than he had meant to, “just managed to look straight into the sun, that’s all. I’m fine. Stop worrying!” He reached out and softened his harsh words with a squeeze of Daniel’s thigh, relishing the slab of muscle encased in warm soft flesh. He looked into Daniel’s worried face and smiled his most winning smile. “Come on; let’s go find us a mermaid.”

The frown of concern Daniel was wearing softened slightly and he smirked a little, “a mermaid, huh. I quite fancy the idea of a merman myself although the question arises how do mer-people actually ‘do it’?”

“Do it, Daniel?” Jack snorted. “How old are you, thirteen?” 

Daniel sat down to pull on his flippers with a wry grin and Jack was relieved to see his redirection had worked. Underneath his own amused exterior, though, there were a million questions, not least of which was whether or not he was losing his mind.

*****

The water was cool despite the hot sun beating down from the cloudless sky. Both men were strong swimmers and had made good progress from the shore out to the tip of the cove. Jack was searching the shoreline for a tell tale rock which Simon had told him was flanked by two bent palms that framed it perfectly. He was starting to think that either his ex-lover had been spinning him a line or they weren't far enough around the coast when Daniel shouted.

“Jack, come on, look! God, you have to see this.” 

Jack turned to see Daniel plunging back under the surface and, taking a controlled breath, he followed behind. To his utter amazement he found himself surrounded by thousands of tiny squid, no more than half an inch across. They moved in tiny jerks and propelled themselves with little squirts of water. Jack was entranced. Their bodies were jeweled with magenta dots and a sheen of green iridescence flashed on their skin. Looking over at Daniel, Jack could see the wonder and excitement sparkling in his eyes and he curled his thumb and forefinger into a circle, giving Daniel the OK sign.

Jack smiled around his snorkel mouthpiece as Daniel moved his hand through the shoal of little bodies and several squidlets attached themselves to his skin with tiny tentacles. ‘Always with the touching, Danny,’ Jack thought to himself. He felt his lungs start to complain at the lack of oxygen and, waving to get Daniel’s attention, he pointed upwards. Daniel nodded and kicked out powerfully streaking the few feet to the surface with consummate ease. Jack felt his cock give a lurch at the sight of all that muscle moving so sensuously and he rushed to follow.

He broke the surface to find Daniel floating serenely on his back, looking up at the almost cloudless sky, his goggles and snorkel hanging around his neck.

“They’ve found a species of squid that’s gay you know.”

Jack almost swallowed seawater as his mouth dropped open. As a non sequitur went it was a doozy.

“Really,” he managed to cough out, causing Daniel to look over and grin at his look of shocked amazement.

“Yeah,” Daniel continued. “Dr Hoving and his research team have found that Octopoteuthis deletron males mate with other males as a matter of course.”

Jack snorted. “Tentacle sex sounds a bit kinky to me.”

“You’re the kinky one to even think of it like that, Jack.” Daniel rolled over and swam lazily over to Jack, sculling gently to keep himself just a few inches away from his lover. “Same-sex sexual behavior is well documented in the animal and insect kingdom. There’s a book about it by Marion Zuk.”

Pulling his goggles up onto his head Jack frowned and reached out, hooking behind Daniel's neck and, drawing closer. “How do you **know** all this stuff?” He asked, bemused.

“The same way you know what year the Avalanche lost to the Blue Jackets, what the goal average of each player is and yadda yadda: Because I’m interested.” Daniel affected a haughty expression that just made Jack want to kiss it off his face. So with soft lips and a hungry tongue he did just that. Their arms and legs wrapped around one another, they drifted with the gentle swell of the sea as they tasted the strange mix of salt water and snorkel rubber alongside the more familiar flavors of ‘Jack’ and ‘Daniel’. Jack felt his interest start to rise along with his cock and he insinuated his thigh between Daniel’s legs, flexing the large muscles and causing Daniel to moan into the kiss.

“You starting something in front of the squid kids, Jack?” Daniel breathed as he smoothed a hand over Jack’s butt.

“N’uhuh,” Jack grinned. “But not ‘cause of the kids,” he explained. “Salt water and penetration really don’t mix, especially with all the sand particles suspended this close to the beach.”

“Ouch,” Daniel winced.

“Yeah. However, if we were to find say…an enchanted cave with some nice dry rocks…” Jack winked suggestively, “Then you might just find out what I can do with my tentacle.”

Daniel blew out an explosive laugh and almost dunked himself under the surface. “Oh, you’re so smooth, Jack,” he giggled. “How could a boy resist an offer like that?”

“Hey,” Jack deadpanned, “I bet it works for the squid.” With another over the top leer he twisted away from Daniel and with exceptional grace began to swim towards the tip of the cove where lazy waves pushed their way onto a small patch of shale. Daniel watched for a moment, glorying in the play of muscles under the skin as Jack powered away from him, his stroke strong and fluid. Not for the first time Daniel felt a thrill of excitement run through him. This was his lover. This wonderful, funny, irascible, drop dead gorgeous hunk was all his and Daniel’s trunks suddenly felt very tight indeed. Not wanting to waste any more time he followed quickly.

Jack was already on the beach scanning the forest in front of them as it meandered down the steep slope onto the white sand.

“There.” Jack pointed up to a dark hollow framed by two palms that curved towards one another as if to kiss. “Just like he said. Come on, Danny. Let’s go exploring.”

They both pulled off their snorkels, goggles and flippers and left them in a pile on the beach, just above the tide line. They could walk back along the beach, but both of them wanted to have another look at the sea life so it was best to make sure their equipment didn’t get washed away. The cave was only about 30 feet up a steep slope and the ground was sandy and dry so they were able to pick their way up to the entrance barefoot.  As they got to the cave mouth Daniel gave a little groan.

“It’s dark in there, Jack.”

Jack turned, a moue of surprise on his lips. “I know you’re not afraid of the dark, Daniel.” He looked confused. “So what’s the problem?”

“Well,” Daniel drawled sarcastically, “What’s the point of being in an enchanted cave if you can’t see why it’s enchanted?”

“Ah ha!” Jack exclaimed. “All we need is what’s here in my trunks,” and he suggestively cupped his groin.

“Jack, your dick may be utterly spectacular, and believe me when I say I think it most definitely is…”

Jack grinned smugly.

“But even you have to admit that it doesn’t glow in the dark.” Daniel gave him an ‘I-rest-my-case’ shrug and shook his head.

“No,” Jack drawled. “But these,” he crowed as he pulled a pack of waterproof matches and a sachet of lube from the pouch that was sewn in the front of his trunks, “and this,” he continued as he drew a ready-made flambeau from the mouth of the cave, “will give us more than adequate illumination and lubrication wouldn’t you say, Dr Jackson?” Jack’s face was a picture of glee as he handed over the lube to his younger lover. Daniel’s eyes sparkled as he watched Jack light the torch with practiced ease.

“God, you are such a boy scout,” Daniel teased as they began to make their way cautiously into the interior of the cave. He was about to make another comment on Jack’s level of preparedness when his breath was taken away by the sight in front of him.

All around them the flame of the torch was reflected back from millions of crystals embedded in the walls. The cave itself was not that large, probably no more than eighty square feet, but the roof towered at least twenty feet above them and was encrusted with the same lucent formations, each giving off a dazzling display of reflected light. In the centre of the floor was a roughly made but comfortable looking platform piled with cushions which were covered with the kind of all weather fabric you found on lawn furniture. Someone, (most probably Simon, Daniel decided) obviously came here regularly. Daniel tamped down the curl of irritation that seemed to follow after every mention of Jack’s ex-lover, even if it was only in his own head. ‘Jack has never been here with him,’ he reminded himself. This was a first time for both of them and by the look of the platform it was going to be amazing.

Jack hooked the torch in a bracket that reminded him of the fittings on a Ha’tak. With a slight shiver Jack shook off the unpleasant reminder and began to apply himself to his favorite task, namely that of seducing his lover.

He turned to find Daniel already perched on the edge of the platform, the twinkling of the crystal walls tipping his hair with silver highlights and making brilliant splashes of color across acres of lightly tanned skin. He swallowed as he took in the spectacular creature that was his lover. Never, since he’d admitted he liked boys as a teenager, had Jack imagined such a wonderful man could ever be his. His cock lurched in the confines of his tight trunks and his heart began to beat hard in his chest. The surge of lust hit him like a train and in only a couple of strides he was at the platform and sweeping Daniel over onto his back.

“Hello, lover.” Daniel’s voice was sultry with want and Jack’s mouth went dry at the sound. “What do you want?” Daniel asked, drawing his tongue slowly across his bottom lip. He knew exactly what he was doing and Jack found himself pulled in, drawn inexorably towards that full mouth.

“I want…I want…,” Jack stuttered, tongue tied by the myriad of possibilities Daniel’s body offered. “I want to fuck you, so long and so slow that you forget your name. I want to suck you so hard that you’ll be coming dry for a month. I want to kiss every inch of you, make love to you with every part of me and then…then…”

“Then?” Daniel moaned breathless with arousal.

“Then I’ll do it all again.” Pushing Daniel back onto the padded platform Jack began to kiss him with barely leashed passion. His hands roamed over rapidly drying flesh that was sun warmed and smelt of salt and ozone. Their tongues met in a hot and needful dance, each pushing at the other, demanding more and cranking up their arousal.

Daniel shivered both with need and cold as Jack’s damp swim trunks slid across his leg. “Off,” he groaned, ineffectually pulling at the tight spandex that stretched across Jack’s flexing ass. Still focused on his lover Jack could only grunt as he dived back into Daniel’s mouth, tasting and mapping urgently, as if he had never kissed his lover before.

“Jack!” Daniel tried to get his attention again, this time with a hitch of his hips **,** but he only succeeded in mashing their rock hard cocks together. Daniel gave a cry almost of pain as the shock of desire made his legs turn to jelly and his balls tighten in warning. “No!” he shouted, only just managing to stop himself from coming by a sheer act of will. Jack raised his head in alarm, wondering if he’d inadvertently hurt his young lover.

“Get these wet trunks off,” Daniel managed to grind out, still fighting with the distinct possibility that he might just come in his pants. With a quick grin Jack stood and peeled the damp swimwear over his muscled thighs. Daniel couldn’t watch. It was just too erotic. The faint sheen of water on Jack’s skin was picking up the sparkling from the crystals all around them and made Jack look otherworldly. Biting his lip to distract himself, Daniel hooked his thumbs under the elastic waist of his Speedo’s and carefully wriggled out of the clammy fabric, throwing them onto the sandy floor of the cave.

Jack stood and looked, captivated by the sight as Daniel lay panting and aroused on the cushioned platform.  It seemed like every plane of his body, every angle, curve and muscle was limned with fire as the crystal light twinkled around him. Jack shook with both lust and love for this magnificent man; his lover. Unable to stop himself Jack reached out to touch the acres of exposed skin that drew him inexorably forward until he was kneeling between Daniel’s spread legs. Jack’s hand trailed across his chest, barely touching the skin yet leaving trails of fire that made Daniel moan.

Needing to taste, Jack’s lips followed his hands in their journey pressing barely there kisses to Daniel’s trembling body. “Jack,” he breathed, his voice shaking with need. “God, Jack…” His voice left him as Jack’s mouth encased his hard, weeping cock in burning wet velvet.

Suddenly Jack was overcome with desire. He engulfed Daniel and began to lick and suck, rolling his tongue in long, luxurious passes over the head. He took the thick cock further into his mouth, relaxing his throat and swallowing down, pressing his tongue the full length of the throbbing vein. Daniel was incoherent, thrashing his head from side to side as Jack raised him to higher and higher levels of arousal. He was breathing in stuttering gasps as he fought to stop himself thrusting into Jack’s maddening mouth. It was only when Jack pushed both his hands under him and grabbed his ass that Daniel realized Jack wanted what he was trying so hard to stop. Aided by the squeezing pressure of Jack’s hands on his tense butt cheeks Daniel began to pump his cock deep into Jack’s mouth, each thrust accompanied by a low grunt. They soon found their rhythm and Daniel could feel the hot pin point pleasure of his orgasm as it built in his gut and behind his balls.

“Unh, unh, gonna, gonna…Fuck, Jack…yes, God, yes…coming, Jack… I’m coming…”

Jack felt overwhelming pride that he could reduce this brilliant mind to this level of incoherence. He turned his hand and pressed the pad of his thumb into Daniels ass hole. This final stimulation pushed him over the edge and he came in long hot spurts down Jack’s throat, his hips thrusting and writhing as his orgasm seemed to last forever.

Unable to wait any longer Jack let his lovers still pulsing cock fall from his mouth. He clawed desperately for the sachet of lube that Daniel had dropped on the cushion beside his head. With shaking hands he tore off the perforated top, fighting a little with an overwhelming urge to just throw it down and manage without. His head won that particular fight. He had no wish to hurt Daniel, but he was so turned on it was all he could do to make his hands co-ordinate enough to squeeze the cool fluid from the little packet onto his palm. With trembling hands he coated his rock hard erection and then spread the rest over the fingers of his right hand.

“Gonna fuck you now, Danny,” he growled. “Gonna do you so good.”

Daniel was still shaking with aftershocks and anticipation. He looked up into Jack’s eyes. His pupils were blown; the dark chocolate of his iris’s almost totally black. Daniel swallowed, unbelievably turned on by the level of arousal his partner showed. He’d only just come and yet his dick was twitching. Daniel moaned as Jack slowly pushed two cool, slick fingers into his tight hole. Desire pulsed through him and he pushed down, wanting to swallow up those tantali **z** ing digits; needing to feel them filling him.

Jack took the hint and pressed in further, not worrying about finesse just responding to what Daniel obviously wanted. He could do hard and dirty, in fact right now that was exactly what he needed and in a small corner of his mind he marveled that they were so in tune. Sliding a third finger next to the others he curved the longest and unerringly found Daniel’s prostate. One stroke across the receptive gland and Daniel gave such a sensual moan that Jack nearly came from the sound alone. He had no patience left; he had to be inside his lover and it had to be now. Withdrawing his fingers he hitched forward, forcing his thighs under Daniel’s legs causing him to cant his hips and open himself to Jack. Clutching his iron hard cock in his hand Jack pressed the swollen head against Daniel’s entrance. Pushing forward, he breached his lover and felt the hot sweet tightness engulf him. His blood pounded in his ears and not for the first time Jack felt overwhelmed by the rightness of his lover’s body around him. They fit together perfectly and it was almost unbelievable. Struggling for control Jack flailed with his free hand until he found Daniel’s and their fingers intertwined. Curving his legs around Jack’s waist Daniel used his strong thigh muscles to draw Jack into him inch by inch until he was seated, balls deep, his eyes squeezed shut in concentration as he fought his body's compulsion to just pump everything he had deep inside Daniel.

“Fuuuuccck, Danny…Gah!” Jack struggled to breathe and Daniel seemed to get the message that he was struggling for control. His younger lover lay very still, only the trembling of his body and the gentle pulsing of his ass giving away how incredibly turned on he was. After a minute or two Jack felt the immediate threat of coming recede a little and he risked rocking his hips gently. The low moan from Daniel and renewed interest of his cock spurred Jack into movement. He withdrew slowly until only the tip of his cock was inside his lover. Then he drove in, hard and deep, grazing Daniels prostate with unerring aim. Again and again he repeated the move, slow and teasing out, hard and long in until Daniel was reduced to making little ‘ungh, ungh’ noises in his throat. His cock jutted up onto his belly, hard and leaking and Jack couldn’t help envying his recovery time. Determined that Daniel would come again before he did Jack curled his right hand, still sticky with lube, around the hard length **,** pumping slowly and smoothly in time with his own thrusts into the slick hot heaven of Daniel’s ass.

“Oh Dios, dios mierda te amo…Da da che voz’mi …Scopami, scopami…love you, fuck me god, fuck me…” Daniel cursed and begged as Jack’s long hard cock filled him over and over again, driving him right to the brink of coming. He wanted to wait, wanted to see Jack’s face as he finally fell, but the double assault of Jack’s cock inside him and that skilled handling of his cock was just too much to resist. As his orgasm hit Daniel arched his back and let out a scream of completion that raced around the cave and hit Jack in his solar plexus making him gasp. There was no more holding back, no more control. As Daniel pulsed hot streaks of come across his chest Jack plunged deeply for the last time and came with a triumphant roar. Daniel managed to pry his eyes open to see his lover's head flung back and his mouth open in a grimace of total ecstasy and he knew Jack had never looked so beautiful.

Jack thought his orgasm was never going to end. He felt turned inside out by the force of it and the last spurts were almost painful in their exquisite pleasure. He fell forward not caring that his cheek landed in a puddle of Daniels come. He was utterly spent and utterly happy. The unsettling incidents of the last few days seemed miles away and he found himself wishing that they could stay in this magical cave for the remainder of their leave; so far removed from the danger and tension of their jobs and the very real fear that every mission could be their last.

As he drifted in the afterglow of his spectacular orgasm he felt Daniel’s hands on his shoulders and, allowing his now flaccid cock to slip out gently, he moved slowly up his lover’s body to stretch out next to him, sprawled half on the bed and half on Daniel’s sticky, sweaty, gloriously sated body.

“Wow,” he managed to croak.

“Hmmm,” was the only answer he got, but it was good enough. With a contented sigh he slipped into a deep, satisfying sleep.

****

Jack woke after what could have been a minute or an hour, he really wasn’t sure but his skin was beginning to chill. For once it had been free of those weird-ass dreams and Jack felt refreshed in way he hadn’t for a while. Stretching until his joints popped he turned and looked over at his still sleeping lover. He looked much younger, his face relaxed and unlined. Jack regretted every single time they’d faced something that had added another wrinkle to that beloved face. The Universe wasn’t out to get them, he knew that, but it did feel like it sometimes. Jack smiled sappily and felt a tug on his cheek. Lifting his hand to investigate he felt the dried remains of Daniel’s last orgasm and he grinned again, remembering the intensity of their lovemaking. His hand on his cheek was joined by another and he looked over to see Daniel’s bright blue eyes gazing at him so full of mischief and love that he felt his heart swell and his throat tighten. God, he loved this man.

 “You forgot something,” Daniel said huskily, his voice raw from his earlier screams. “You remembered matches and lube but not water. Think I’m dehydrated.”

“Not surprised,” Jack answered smugly as he ran his fingers across Daniel’s semen streaked stomach. “Think you expelled all your body moisture right here.

Daniel snorted, but his eyes sparkled. “And the torch is almost burned out…Call yourself a boy scout.”

With a rise of an eyebrow and a head tilt Jack turned and slid off the platform heading for the guttering flambeau. Daniel watched with amazement as he pulled back some rush matting on the floor to reveal a fully packed picnic basket and a blanket.

“Shall we go eat our lunch on the beach – I think I saw a nice shady palm out there with our name on it.” Jack turned and with a taunting wiggle of his butt made his way to the entrance of the cave and disappeared back out into the warm sunshine.

Daniel lay for a moment his mouth hanging open. He should have known, he supposed, that Jack O’Neill, master of strategy, Air Force Colonel and, of course, fully paid up boy scout would have everything in hand, but he couldn’t believe that Jack had this all planned in advance. Shaking his head at his own naiveté Daniel chuckled. Of course Jack had it all planned out. Feeling his stomach rumble at the thought of food Daniel made his way to the entrance of the cave and looked along the beach. There, under a perfect palm he saw the blanket spread over the powdery sand, the unopened picnic basket waiting to be unpacked. Over at the surf’s edge Jack was standing, gloriously naked, using a large flat shell to rinse the evidence of their earlier lovemaking off his skin. Reveling in the sight of his lover so relaxed and unfettered by the regulations that blighted their life together Daniel made his way down the beach towards him.

Jack heard his approach and turned with a beaming smile. “Water’s just the right temperature. Come and let me clean you up and then we’ll have lunch.”

They played for a while at the water’s edge washing each other, trading kisses and touches that were more sensual than sexual until hunger drew them back to the basket under the palm. Daniel was amazed as plates, glasses and utensils came out of the basket followed by a myriad of tiny boxes each filled with morsels of food that smelled amazing and tasted even better. There were bottles of water and succulent fruits. The whole mélange was topped by a half bottle of champagne in its own chill sleeve.

“Couldn’t pack too much booze,” Jack explained as they lay beneath the palm sipping the chilled wine, Daniel’s head resting on Jack’s belly. “We have to swim back and snorkeling and alcohol do not mix.”

Daniel sighed and squinted up at Jack, watching the dappled shadows of the palm fronds paint dark splashes on Jack’s sun-kissed skin. “How did you get this stuff up here anyway? I’ve been with you all morning.”

“Juan, Izel and the panga.” Jack grinned smugly. “I asked Izel yesterday if she'd pack us a picnic and when she left on the boat this morning they paid a call here before going to the mainland.” Jack looked down and was pleased to see the look of total relaxation on Daniel’s face.

“Soooo,” Daniel drawled. “I take it this is a make-out spot for Simon and his boyfriend.”

Jack shook his head. Daniel really had a bee in his bonnet about his ex. He supposed he should just answer his questions (and he knew they would be many and far ranging) and try and nip this in the bud as quickly as possible. Jack didn’t want Simon sharing this holiday with them for much longer.

“This is a make-out spot for Simon and his many boyfriends and their friends and their friends friends and…”

“Yeah, okay, I get it.” Daniel frowned. “But you said that when you met Simon…”

“He told me he had a new partner,” Jack completed Daniels thought for him. “And yes, before you ask, he did show me pictures and…” he held up a finger to stop Daniel from interrupting, “…yes, he is very hot. He’s twenty four and models for all the big fashion houses.”

“He looks a lot like Davin Garvin,” Daniel muttered.

“What?” Jack was amazed. “How could you possibly…”

“Simon,” Daniel continued, ignoring Jack’s spluttering. “He looks like the model, Davin Garvin.”

“Well, fuck me, you’re right.” Jack shook his head. “I always knew he was a narcissist, but that really takes the cake.”

Daniel frowned and turned over in Jack’s lap leaning up to get a good look at his lover who was chuckling. “Jack, what are you talking about?”

“Firstly the model that Simon is going out with **is** Davin Garvin, who by the way I had never heard of before. Secondly, you’re right and I didn’t see it when Si showed me the photos but he looks a lot like Simon did at that age.” Jack grinned crookedly. “Huh, way to sleep with yourself, Si.”

Daniel frowned and settled his head back in Jack’s lap. “He was very hot, when he was younger. What does he look like now?” He tried to go for nonchalant, but wasn’t sure he had succeeded. The idea that Jack had met his ex in Washington and hadn’t told him still rankled.

Jack sighed lightly and raked his hand gently through his lover’s hair. He knew where this was going and was damned if he was going to let Daniel dwell on this for much longer.

“Danny, he’s the same age as me. We’ve both had similar careers although he was better at sucking up to the brass than I was, hence the scrambled egg on his uniform.”

“Scrambled what?” Daniel snorted.

“It’s what they call all that gold braid and shit the Brits decorate their uniforms with,” Jack explained. “He’s an Air Vice Marshall. That’s equivalent to a two star general here in the US. Doubt I’ll ever make it to those giddy heights.” Jack made a disgusted noise. “The Brits love promoting their aristocrats, too, so Simon always said he knew he’d end up flying a desk. He’ll probably end up with a couple more pounds of braid before he retires.” Jack wondered why he didn’t feel more aggrieved about that, but he knew deep down he wasn’t cut out to be ‘the Man’ and had no desire to be anywhere else but the SGC.

“That tells me what he does, but you didn’t answer my question.” Daniel's tone was edgy and brittle and Jack began to lose patience with him. Taking his lover by the shoulders, he turned him so they were face to face. “Danny, listen. Si and I were together for less time than you and I have known each other and a whole lifetime ago. It really doesn’t matter what he looks like now. I’m here, with you. I only want you. Everything else is irrelevant.”

“I know that,” Daniel said irritably, “so why won’t you tell me how he looks now?” Daniel’s chin had the stubborn tilt to it that Jack knew meant he'd keep pushing till he got the answer he wanted. So many times off world that stubborn insistence had saved their lives, but here in a tropical paradise with just the two of them it had no place. Still, Jack knew he had to answer and that Danny would see through lies immediately. No matter how well Jack had trained his poker face, his Special Op’s skills didn’t work on his lover. Daniel could see right through him.

Jack screwed up his face, as if he was trying to picture his ex-lover in his mind’s eye. He remembered exactly how he had looked, but he didn’t want Daniel to realize that and make something out of it that wasn’t there.

“He’s about 6’4”, his hair is still black and curly although he keeps it regulation. He’s gained a few pounds now he’s not on active duty. But yeah, essentially he’s still the same hot guy I knew all those years ago. Hot enough to attract a top model anyway.” Jack smiled wryly. “I’m sure if his Davin asked him that question he wouldn’t be saying the same about me.”

The look on Daniel’s face told him that was exactly the right thing to say and Jack patted himself on the back even though the diversion had not been planned.

“Well, he should. Looking at those photo’s you’re hotter now than you were then, in just as good shape, too, and still on active duty.” Daniel turned and flung himself into Jack’s arms trapping him underneath him with an ‘umph’ as he straddled him on the sand. “As for attracting hot models, if you wanted to go looking you’d be beating them off.”

Jack looked up into Daniel’s eyes that were blazing with possessive fire. The sight made his dick twitch and banked up his libido to a definite burn. Alpha Danny did that for him every time.

“But that’s just it, Danny. Don’t you know? I don’t need to look.” He pulled Daniel down for a soft intense kiss, trying to pour all his love and attraction for his lover into this joining of lips. “I have everything I want, everything I could possibly need right here. I don’t need to look back **,** Daniel. You’re right in front of me.”

As Daniel drew him back into a passionate clinch Jack hoped he would finally believe it, because he meant every word.

 

_Oh Dios, dios, mierda te amo: Oh God, god, shit I love you,_

_da da che voz’mi: yes, yes, fucking hell_

_scopami, scopami: fuck me, fuck me._

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Through A Glass, Darkly V

_Awww! Geez! I am so not liking this. Again with this lucid dreaming crap. And back in this skanky movie theater, too. I didn’t understand what this was about the first time so why my whacked-out psyche thinks it’s gonna mean anymore more to me this time I have no freakin’ idea._

_OK, O’Neill, get with the program. What do I have, what do I need? Well, I have popcorn…Cool! But I can’t move again, which is not good. Why do I have to sit here, in the exact same seat I was in before? There’s no one else around that I can see although my spidey senses are tingling so I may well not be alone. Gah! This is so frustrating. Shit, I’m losing it here. Feeling hemmed in and helpless is not my favorite way to spend an hour or two. Admit it, Jack, this is scaring the crap outta you._

_OK…Breathe…Let’s get back in control here. Everything is just the same as I left it last time. Perhaps there’s a little more light, like when you’re waiting for the main feature. I can remember the zing of excitement that came as the lights went down and the curtains drew apart. Sitting with my Dad right next to me, so close I could smell the damp wool of his jacket and the whiskey he’d sneaked at the bar across the road while I sat on the bench outside with a bag of chips and a bottle of Dr Pepper. Mom would’ve killed him if she knew, but I never told. I think he was proud of me for keeping his secret – a man’s secret - about bars and hard liquor and expensive cigars when I was only seven years old. I would have kept his secret under torture even then. He was my hero, the man I aspired to be. It was only later, when I was much older that I found out about the women and the gambling that drove my poor mom to an early grave. If I’d told my secret then, would it have made a difference? Would she have left with me in tow?_

_Fuck it – Coulda, woulda, shoulda…I was seven, I didn’t know any better. But this, this place, this memory of him is always good and warm. So, why am I here?_

_Oh! Here we go, the lights are going down and I can hear the clickety clack of the projector as the film spools through it. The broad shaft of light pierces the darkness, highlighting the sparkles of dust floating in the still air and then spreading its pictures over the screen in front of us. This is where it got uncomfortable last time – I nearly lost my lunch in the bed. But hey! Not this time. Now there’s an honest to goodness movie playing on the screen. A desert; wide sandy expanse drifted with dunes. And, in the distance, a figure. I can’t quite see…Must be a long ways off ‘cause it’s just a speck on the horizon, shimmering with heat haze. I hate that – fucks up your sight line. You have to concentrate real hard to get a good lock on your target, and if there’s that kind of haze then the heat is pretty intense. You have sweat and heat stroke to contend with, especially if you’ve been in the same spot for three days; waiting, always waiting for your mark to come over the dune opposite like your informants intel said he would._

_So this figure’s getting closer, but he’s not so far away. He really is small…A kid: No more than six or seven and…Crap, he’s familiar. I know him. It’s the kid from the Beach House. “I know you!” Fuck it, O’Neill, get a grip. It’s a movie, nothing more. He can’t hear you. I can see the blonde mop of hair though and those eyes, so blue – even bluer than the sky above his head – and he’s looking straight at me. He’s so close now that all I can see is his face, eight feet high, and that stare is burning through me. There’s no fear there; just intelligence and pure childish innocence. It’s pouring from him and he smiles. One of his front teeth is missing and I don’t know why, but it makes me want to cry: I can feel the tears prickling the corners of my eyes. His stare never falters and I know I’ve seen that look somewhere before, but I can’t catch the memory. It’s hanging inches away from my conscious mind and I can’t reach out to snag it no matter how hard I try._

_He takes a breath and suddenly I know what he’s going to say. I don’t want him to…”No, kid, don’t say it.” I’m begging him as loudly as I can, but I know he doesn’t hear me. My voice falters and the popcorn falls to the floor, spilling all around my feet. He’s going to deliver his lines and I can’t do a damn thing to stop him. He’s smiling that gap-toothed smile and all the time he looks so innocent, so happy. I know I want him to be quiet; he mustn’t say it again – I can’t bear not knowing what it means._

_“Daddy. Is it time to go?”_

_“No! No! NOOOOOOOOOO! What do you want? Just tell me, please. I don’t understand.”_

_God, I feel, I feel…Gonna be…arrgghhh._

“Jack! JACK! Wake up.” Daniel’s hands were firm on his lover’s shoulders, wrestling him over the side of the bed as he heaved again. Fighting Jack’s writhing body, Daniel attempted to pull him away from the mess where he had already thrown up on the pristine covers. “Jack, baby, please. Please wake up now. It’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Jack roused with a sharp intake of breath that nearly choked him as bile raced back down his airways, burning a trail into his lungs. The resulting coughing fit nearly made him puke again and all he could do was hang limply over the edge of the mattress with only the strength of Daniel’s arms preventing him from slithering off and onto the floor.

Reaching behind Jack’s sweaty, shaking body Daniel pulled at the soiled sheet and cotton throw. Balling them up with one hand, he tossed them to the side of the bed. Luckily, the comforter had caught a lot of the moisture, so the bottom sheet was still dry and clean. Leaning Jack against his shoulder, the younger man pulled the pillows into a pile against the headboard and then gently maneuvered his lover into a semi-sitting position.

“I’m just going to call Izel, Jack,” Daniel murmured as he pulled a shaking hand over Jack’s wet brow. Jack kept his eyes tightly closed, knowing without having to test it out that if he opened them he would vomit again. With a last worried look at Jack’s gray and clammy skin Daniel leaped up and quickly made his way to the balcony.

“Izel! IZEL!” he shouted, too concerned to be considerate of the housekeepers sensibilities. His only thought was to get the panga back as soon as possible and get Jack to a hospital on the mainland. “IZEL, goddammit…,” he started to yell as the small woman dashed into the loft room, her hands grasping a towel, the soap bubbles still visible on her skin where she had hurriedly pulled them from washing dishes.

“Mr. Daniel?” she started and then saw Jack, pale and trembling leaning back on the pillows like a weak kitten. “Oh, Mr. Jack. What has happened?” She moved quickly to Jack’s side and placed a hand on his forehead. “There is no fever, but he has been sick, yes?” she asked, wrinkling her nose as she caught the smell of vomit from Jack’s damp tee and the pile of dirty laundry.

“Izel,” Daniel’s voice was shaking with concern, “we need to get Juan back with the panga.” He looked worriedly back at Jack, who still had his eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I think Jack needs to see a doctor.”

His words seemed to get through to Jack, who tried and failed to pull himself higher up the mound of pillows. Swallowing deeply, Jack let his eyes crack open and was gratified to find that, after a brief moment when the room seemed to be turning around him, he was able to focus on Daniel and Izel without his stomach rebelling.

“No doctors,” Jack croaked through acid roughened vocal chords. “And I’m not going to the mainland. Just stomach flu ‘tis all.”

“Oh yeah, right,” Daniel replied sarcastically, moving across the room to sit back down next to his supine lover. “If this is just stomach flu, how come you’re not feeling ill all the time? You were fine yesterday at the cave.”

“’Praps some bad shrimp, or something,” Jack countered, desperate to stop Daniel from forcing him to go to the mainland. He didn’t know why, he just knew it was a very bad idea.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Daniel,” Izel interrupted. “Juan has taken the panga up the coast to get the champagne Mr. Jack asked for. He will not be coming back for me until this evening.” She shook her head apologetically. “And unless it is a real emergency I cannot call the doctor to the island.”

She moved back over to Jack’s side. His color was already looking a little better and although he looked wrung out he was sitting straighter. “I have some Damiana herb tea which I can brew with ginger root. That will stop any more vomiting.” She petted Jack’s head affectionately and he gave her a wan smile. He knew she understood how much this vacation meant to both him and Daniel. She motioned to him to peel off his t-shirt and he complied, feeling better for having the cool sea breeze gently tease his damp skin. “I will take away this dirty laundry and bring back some tea.” She smiled reassuringly at Daniel, who was still frowning worriedly at Jack.

“Thanks, Izel.” Jack smiled wanly, squeezing her hand gently in appreciation.

Daniel was still so distracted, he didn’t see Izel leave the room. Jack could see that his concern was beginning to morph into something else. ‘He’s got a theory,’ Jack thought, his heart sinking. Jack knew that face, the ‘I know there’s something going on here and I’m going to dig till I find out’ face. Although the specifics of his dream were beginning to fade, Jack could still remember his frustration and the background itch in his mind, telling him there was something he should be doing. But, what was it and did the kid in his dream have anything to do with it? Jack was beginning to worry that the children he’d been seeing all week were figments of his imagination and the consequences of that train of thought were that he couldn’t be sure he wasn’t losing his mind. Jack knew he would have to give Daniel something to chew on, but imaginary kids wasn't a subject he was willing to divulge until he was sure what was going on in his screwed up psyche.

“I’ve been having these dreams.”

Jack decided that a pre-emptive strike was in order if he was to head Daniel off. Otherwise his lover would just dig and dig until everything came spilling out. All his Special Ops training had been for nothing in the face of a Dr Jackson interrogation. If Daniel had been handling Jack in that Iraqi prison he wouldn’t have lasted a day let alone four months.

Daniel turned his head slowly, blue laser beam eyes examining his face with an intensity that made Jack want to turn away, but he resisted the temptation and plowed on.

“You remember we watched that documentary about those Yogi fellas who do that Lucy dreaming.” He knew his dumb act made Daniel mad, but he wanted to keep him off balance for a while. He knew how intense Daniel could get and he needed to tell this at his own pace, if only to make sure he didn’t let anything slip he didn’t want Daniel to know just yet.

“Lucid dreaming,” Daniel corrected automatically, well used to Jack’s intentional mangling of words and concepts. “[Düsum Khyenpa](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/D%C3%BCsum_Khyenpa,_1st_Karmapa_Lama),” Daniel nodded, drawing the necessary information from the filing system that was his brain.

Jack would never let on, but he loved to see Daniel do this; loved to watch the flummoxed faces of marines, geeks and visiting dignitaries as Daniel pulled out fact after fact without a book in sight. It made Jack so proud of his genius lover.

 “He was a master-level practitioner of Tibetan lucid dream yoga,” Daniel continued his intellectual prowess, unaware of Jack’s hero-worshiping. “And St Augustine of Hippo wrote a letter referring to it in 415 AD. Although the phrase wasn’t actually coined until 1913 by Fredrick van Eeden in his article ‘A Study of Dreams’. It’s a well documented idea.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ve been having these weird dreams; people, events and places from my past. But I’ve been aware in my dreams that they are dreams.” Jack frowned. It all sounded a bit bells, incense, and Hare Krishna, and he wasn’t sure if he could adequately explain just exactly what was going on.

“Have you been able to interact – you know - touch things, talk to the people?” Daniel had moved to sit cross-legged at the foot of the bed, his hand wrapped loosely around Jack’s ankle, as if trying to anchor him to the bed.

Jack found himself welcoming the touch and the feeling of being grounded without being crowded. Trust Daniel to know just what he needed. He sighed loudly. “This is going to sound really whacked, but…well, yes and no.”

Daniel waited. Jack always had problems when it came to explaining himself. Ask him about military tactics or the last series of the Simpson’s and he could talk your ear off. But require him to explain his feelings or to dig into his own psyche and it was like pulling teeth. In the early months of their friendship, long before they had become lovers, Daniel had quickly realized that Jack couldn't be pushed into this kind of conversation. You had to let him go at his own pace. Either that, or get him very drunk or very angry. Neither of those options was practical or appealing right now. Using all his ‘Jack’ awareness, Daniel felt the tension of his lover’s body through his ankle. Jack's skin was clammy and there was a quiver of nerves underneath that wasn’t at all usual for the normally cool-as-ice colonel.

“There have been people in the dreams,” Jack continued finally. “I’ve seen my Gramps and he talked to me. I was flying in another and was in contact with base over the comm and then….” He faltered, his stomach roiling again as the face of the little boy flared up in his mind's eye. Jack swallowed hard, fighting another wave of nausea. “Ah…I saw a kid.” His gaze flickered up at Daniel and then back down to his hands, which were unusually still in his lap. “He…God, Daniel. He called me Daddy.” A shiver ran through his body.

“Charlie?” Daniel asked, his hand tightening reflexively on Jack’s ankle.

“No,” Jack began, sounding a little unsure. “No, it wasn’t Charlie…Not Charlie.” Again he looked over at the younger man, but this time his eyes rested on his lover's face. “His eyes were so blue, Danny,” he blurted out. ‘Almost as blue as yours’ he thought absently. “Charlie’s eyes were gray. I felt like I should know him just like I did when I…” He clamped down on the next sentence. He didn’t want Daniel to know he had seen this kid not only in his dreams, but here in this room, in the daylight, when he'd been wide-awake. The thought that he might be losing his mind once again bloomed in his thoughts and he shuddered as ice water flowed down his spine. Maybe all those years of G forces, incarceration, torture and Gate travel were finally going to catch up with him. The memory of Daniel, drugged and incoherent in a stark white padded room oozed unbidden into his mind and it took all his willpower not to throw up again. Shit, now he was scared.

“Jack?” Daniel had caught the way Jack had stopped himself and there was more than a vague feeling of dread curling through his mind. “When you what, Jack? Like you did when you what?” He knew he was pushing, but something told him this was important.

“What?” Jack tried to deflect Daniel’s question, but knew he wouldn’t be fobbed off with a half-assed answer.

“Jack.” Daniel’s tone was unconvinced.

“When I saw my Gramps,” Jack diverted smoothly. “Although I suppose I'd know him, being as he almost raised me when my loser of a father ran off.”

Daniel was surprised. Jack rarely, if ever, mentioned his family. He knew Jack's mother had died when he was a teenager but Daniel had assumed his father had raised him and had died more recently. That Jack was feeling unsettled enough to let out personal information told Daniel he was far more rattled by what was happening than he was letting on. Daniel held himself in check and waited for Jack to continue.

“I don’t know this kid, Daniel. I have no idea what he's doing in my dreams and why calls me Daddy.” Jack scrubbed his hand roughly over his face. “I feel…I feel like he wants me to do something, but I don’t know what.” He surged quickly from the bed and immediately wished he hadn’t. The world moved around him and only Daniel’s quick reflexes stopped him from landing on his ass on the loft floor.

“Fuck it, Jack.” Daniel was in equal parts worried and angry with his recalcitrant lover. “We need to get you to the mainland. I don’t care what you say, as soon as Juan comes back for Izel we are going to the mainland.” Pressing Jack back onto the bed he fussed with the pillows and eventually got his scowling colonel settled.

“Okay. Okay,” Jack grumbled. “But it’s just stomach flu, you’ll see…Just wastin’ the doctor's time.”

“Humor me, Jack,” Daniel pleaded quietly. “I’m worried.”

Satisfied that his lover was going to stay put Daniel walked over to the balcony and looked out over the sea. Despite what Jack was saying Daniel was uneasy. This felt all wrong and if they had been off world recently he would have been dragging Jack back to the SGC as soon as possible. But Jack hadn’t been on a mission for over a month and had shown no symptoms before their leave had started. Jack had been very upset by Daniel’s mystery illness, but this smacked of stress levels off the scale. Daniel had seen no other indicators of pressure building in Jack and anyway; he had his own inimitable ways of stress relief, one of which was making love to Daniel in many inventive ways. The seduction in the cave had been proof that Jack was firing on all cylinders there. He was stubborn enough to fight going to the mainland, but Daniel was seriously worried and wanted him to get checked out.

Somehow he would have to find a way to get Jack onto the panga and into a doctor’s office.

As Daniel walked away from him, Jack rubbed across his face once more with a damp hand. He hated feeling so out of control and he knew Daniel was worried. This was supposed to be a trip away for Daniel to rest and recuperate, not to have to nurse Jack through a stupid flu.

He turned his head to look over at his lover and his heart almost stopped as he came face to face with the teen from the beach. Jack’s breath stopped in his throat as he quickly assessed the threat to Daniel. Where had the kid come from? He definitely hadn’t been there when Jack had woken up. He wasn’t moving and wasn’t looking over at Daniel. Jack couldn’t decide whether to call out and get Daniel’s attention. If the kid bolted they would never know where he came from and, more importantly, what he wanted. Jack was about to alert Daniel when the boy began to speak.

“It doesn’t matter what you do to me, you fuck, I’m not going to tell you where it is.” Pale and thin, the teen’s hair was unkempt and lank, hanging around the collar of his ill-fitting shirt. His gaze was hard and uncompromising and his tone was icy. The last time Jack had heard someone put so much venom into a few words was when Daniel had baited one minor system lord or another. Trouble was, the words were aimed directly at Jack, and he had no idea what the kid was talking about.

He opened his mouth to question the kid, but the boy beat him to it. “Are you going to hit me again? Or do I get the ‘special’ treatment?” Only a barely perceptible twitch in the corner of his eye told Jack that the kid was terrified. The implications of that made Jack’s blood run cold.

He felt sweat begin to bloom on his forehead. What did this kid think he was going to do to him? He’d never laid a hand on him and hadn’t had time to threaten him with anything when he'd seen him on the beach.

When his eyes flicked over to Daniel, Jack could see him in profile. His lips were moving, but Jack couldn’t hear what he was saying. Why wasn’t he looking around at the kid? Jack swallowed hard. What if he was the only one who could see and hear the boy? If that was the case then perhaps his worst fears were being borne out and he was losing what was left of his mind?

Suddenly Daniel moved across his line of sight and blocked the view of the teen for just a second. In two steps Daniel had passed by and as quickly as he had appeared the boy was gone. Jack felt faint with fear. Was this all in his mind? Once again his stomach decided to add to the general misery of the situation and Jack knew he was going to hurl.

Izel made her way up the terracotta steps to the doorway of the loft. She carried the pot of Damiana tea for Jack and a carafe of coffee for Daniel. She was already aware of the man’s addiction to caffeine and had made sure that her shopping basket had included more of the Santa Catarina he loved so much. A small plastic bucket swung from her fingers; she wasn’t sure if Mr. Jack was done being sick, but she hoped it would help to prevent any more laundry.

As she turned into the doorway she saw the figure of a teenage boy sitting cross-legged in the center of the room. The fact he was there did not surprise Izel. She had been seeing people that others did not see since she was five. Trapped spirits her Toci had called them; she had been a seer too, and had taught Izel the meaning of her visions. She had learned not to be afraid, gradually coming to understand that they were benign. They rarely spoke and never interacted with her. Sometimes she had been able to identify them – an old man from the village, a child killed by a car - and then she had been glad to let their family know that they were safe on the other side.

Now, what surprised Izel was the fact that Jack was also seeing the boy. The blonde haired youngster was gazing at him with unconcealed disdain and his deep blue eyes held Jack’s in an uncompromising stare. The boy’s lips were moving but she was unable to hear what he was saying. She wasn’t sure whether he was talking to himself or actually having a conversation with Jack. Izel could see that Jack was trying hard not to freak out. His face was pale and sweat had broken out on his brow, his hands clenched in white knuckled tension. Daniel had his back to the older man and was talking quietly, but all Jack’s concentration was centered on the sullen child.

Izel wasn’t sure whether she should walk into the room or not, but balancing on one foot at the top of the stairs was not a comfortable position. Her indecision made her wobble and she knocked the loaded tray into the doorjamb. Her gaze flicked quickly from the vision of the boy to the hot liquid slopping over the edge of the teapot and the jangling cups. By the time she looked back into the room, the teenager was gone.

Jack, however, was still staring glassy eyed at the spot where he had been sitting.

“Izel, let me take that.” Daniel was quickly at her side, taking the tray from her. Their movement across the room seemed to pull Jack from his trance and Izel was only just quick enough to get the pail under his chin before he once again retched. His stomach was empty and all he achieved were dry painful heaves.

Daniel climbed onto the bed and began to rub slow circles across Jack’s back as the urge to throw up began to pass. Izel poured a small cup of the herbal tea and doctored it with a large spoonful of agave nectar. Holding the cup to Jack’s lips she encouraged him to take tiny sips of the warm sweet tea and gradually he felt able to hand the empty container back to Daniel and slumped back on the bed. His eyes were still wild and bright with tears, both from fear and in response to the vomiting. Izel refilled the cup and, perching on the edge of the bed, made sure Jack drank all its contents before encouraging him to lie back and try to rest.

Jack felt exhausted. He slumped against Daniel, grateful for the strong broad chest against his cheek. Daniel slid up to the headboard and settled Jack against him.

“I will go and make some soup. He will need something later,” Izel whispered as Jack’s breathing grew deeper. “I will let you know as soon as Juan gets back, Mr. Daniel.” Seeing the crease of worry on Daniel’s brow she patted his shoulder gently. “I am sure he will be fine. It really is probably just a virus.” Daniel nodded and turned to place a soft kiss on Jack’s hair.

As Jack grew heavy in his arms Daniel tried not to be too worried. Izel was right. There was nothing to be worried about. Jack had only a slight temperature which could be explained away by the possibility of a virus. He’d seen Jack far sicker than this on more than one occasion. There was just something about Jack’s description of his dreams that set his teeth on edge. They could just be the product of a stressed mind and body, but Daniel had a bad feeling. He snorted quietly; he was always teasing Jack about his ability to know when things were going to get squirrelly, but that ability had saved his life many, many times. Daniel wished he was as adept as Jack at reading the itch that had settled in the back of his neck; right now it just felt like a vague sense of doom; something not quite visible on the horizon, but worrying nonetheless.

He ran his fingers gently through his lovers short silver hair and sighed. This place was paradise and yet it seemed like the Universe couldn’t let them rest. Resting his head against Jack’s he worked to consciously let go of the tension, using techniques Teal’c had taught him. Gradually the muscles in his neck and shoulders let go and he slipped into a quiet doze.

Izel gathered up the cups onto the tray and made sure the pail was within reaching distance just in case Jack needed it. As she made her way back out of the room she wondered whether she should tell Daniel what she had seen. Surely, if Jack had wanted him to know he would have said something? Izel was sure this vision had something to do with Jack’s sickness, but she couldn’t work out why. In her experience there was never any interaction between the world beyond and this plane. Still, the child’s mouth had definitely been moving and from Jack’s reactions the man had been hearing every word.

Izel stopped for a second at the foot of the stairs and looked up. Biting her lip she considered her options. She could forget what she had seen, as she had done many times before. But somehow that felt wrong. She had a feeling she had seen this particular spirit for a reason and ignoring it would be a mistake. She could talk to Daniel, but again she was sure Jack would have done that himself if he wanted him to know. The sickness was also worrying her because the more she thought about it the more she agreed with Daniel; Jack’s vomiting was very sporadic and from what she’d seen upstairs in the loft it was linked in some way to the vision he had shared with her.

Making her way back to the kitchen she came to a decision. When he woke she would talk to Jack, letting him know what she had seen and find out if there was anything she could do to help. Even if it was just to talk to Daniel for him. She knew that people often got scared by things they didn’t understand. Perhaps Jack was one of those people. If her Mr. Simon was anything to go by then a pilot’s mind could be completely closed to anything outside the ordinary.

Yes, she would talk to Jack.

 

_Toci: The grandmother – mother earth – earth goddess_


	6. Through A Glass, Darkly  VI

 “Jack, are you going to come and lie down?”

“Huh?”

Daniel smiled wryly. Jack was looking out over the shore, watching as the panga took Izel back to the mainland. His lover had fought him tooth and nail, insisting that he didn’t need the hospital; that a doctor would be a stupid idea.

“It’s just stomach flu, Danny,” he had repeated over and over until Daniel sighed deeply and gave in. Jack did seem to be a little better and Izel’s tea was keeping the actual vomiting at bay, although Daniel was inclined to think that Jack’s nausea was still roiling around his belly. He took a long lingering look his eyes lingered on Jack's back. He was dressed in his preferred vacation clothes; white linen shirt, unbuttoned to expose his chest; fine cotton tie waist trousers hanging low on his hips, the cuffs turned up to expose long, sexy feet and narrow ankles. Daniel could see from the drape of the cotton over his ass that Jack was going commando and the realization made Daniel’s mouth go dry with lust. He shook his head. There was no way they would be doing anything but some gentle making out for the next day at least. He wanted to be sure that Jack was on the mend before he’d let them get into anything more strenuous. He did, however, have something he wanted to talk to Jack about.

He lounged back on the Adirondack chair and smiled as Jack turned, treating him to the breathtaking view of his tanned chest and arms against the pale shirt.

“Come and talk to me, Jack.”

Jack winced and gave a little frown.

“Danny,” he groaned, “can’t we just go to bed, have a little fun?” Jack illustrated his request by straddling Daniel’s legs and leaning over him, ghosting kisses across his forehead and cheekbones. Daniel was seriously tempted until he saw the tremors in Jack’s forearms as he held himself away from Daniel.

“Jack, I think the spirit is willing…” He pressed against Jack’s shoulders and made him stand. Daniel followed him, smiling gently at the look of disappointment on Jack’s face.

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” Jack agreed reluctantly. He was sick of feeling…well, sick. His stomach still felt precarious at best, although the herb tea was keeping the worst of it at bay. He still couldn’t imagine eating anything but the lightest meal and the thought of alcohol had shivers running down his back. He was disappointed that this leave was being hijacked by his body and his psyche. He was still freaked by the hallucination he’d had; but that was all it was, he had decided. A temperature induced hallucination, easily explained by the effects of this damn stomach flu.

Daniel saw the disappointment ghost across his lover’s face. It would be so easy to give in, take him to bed and make love to him. But despite allowing Jack to talk him around about going back to the mainland, Daniel was determined that Jack would rest and recoup.

“Why don’t we get in the soaking pool? It’s shaded there and we could just enjoy the heat without worrying about sunburn.” Daniel turned and slipped off his cotton shorts and muscle top, revealing acres of tanned skin. Jack made a little appreciative noise in the back of his throat and Daniel threw him a grin over his shoulder as he stepped down into the blissfully cool water of the pool.

Within seconds Jack  was undressed and sinking up to his neck in the water, his head resting against Daniel’s shoulder, his arms and legs floating serenely just under the surface. Daniel wiggled a little to get his back and ass settled on the broad seat that ran around the pool, allowing him to sink to shoulder height under the rippling water. He flung one arm along the tiled edge and the other hooked under Jack’s armpit and over onto his chest, snuggling him closely, enjoying the feeling of Jack’s muscled back against his broad chest.

“How’s your stomach?” he asked when they had been drowsing quietly for a few minutes.

“Still not settled,” Jack replied honestly. “I think I’d like some more of Izel’s tea…but not yet. Can we just stay like this for a while?” Jack turned his head and kissed the patch of bare flesh he could reach, making Daniel shiver a little.

“Of course,” Daniel’s fingers drew lazy circles over and through Jacks chest hair, teasing the darkened fuzz into interesting whorls. Jack was relaxing into sleep and whilst it would probably do him good, Daniel thought it was not a good idea out here in the pool. While he had Jack so pliant though, it was an ideal opportunity to ask the question that had been burning in his mind since he had found out about Jack and Simon. He knew Jack would be pissed with him, but he just needed to know.

“Sooo…You and Simon.”

“Daniel,” Jack’s voice carried a warning and was laced with resignation as if he had known this was coming, but hoped to dodge this particular bullet until another day. “Please don’t do this now.”

Daniel tightened his arm around Jack’s chest, worried that if he gave him the chance he would get out of the pool and Daniel’s opportunity would be lost. “If not now, then when. You know everything about me, Jack. It’s all there in my file. Everything I’ve ever done, my childhood, every lover I’ve ever had. You know it all.” Daniel sighed deeply.

“I’ll arrange for you to see my file,” Jack replied gruffly.

“What? I imagine there's nothing in there but black marker.” Daniel said, trying to keep his irritation at bay. “I work in the most secret facility on the planet and you still think I don’t have enough clearance to know about all those Special Ops missions. I know Simon isn't mentioned there either, not as your lover, because otherwise we wouldn’t be sitting here now. Your career would have been over before it even started.”

Jack rubbed a wet hand over his face. As soon as Daniel had found those pictures in Simon’s album he had known they'd end up having this conversation. Jack had hoped that, just this once, Daniel would have left it alone. He snorted quietly. ‘Yeah, like that would ever happen.’ He resigned himself to having to haul some of the darkness out of the strongbox he’d locked it into all those years ago. He knew he really did owe this to Daniel; he just wasn’t sure what his reaction would be.

“So,” Jack drawled as he tried to fight the impulse to surge out of the water and run. “What do you want to know?”

He felt Daniel relax infinitesimally and then there was a long silence. Jack could imagine the face Daniel was pulling, his eyes slightly scrunched as he formulated his first question. He wished that, just this once, Daniel could be spontaneous. Making him wait was making him nervous, which was transmuting into a kind of anger that Jack could feel brewing in his gut, making his stomach churn: What he wouldn’t give for a cup of Izel’s tea right now.

“You told me you weren’t doing Black Ops assignments when you first met Simon, but you inferred that wasn’t the case for long. Did you go on assignment together?” Daniel was determined to find out what it was about that time that meant Jack could be so cavalier about his relationship with Simon.

Jack swallowed hard. Trust Daniel to excavate down to the very bottom, delving in amongst the dirtiest part of his career. Once an archaeologist…

“We only actually did one Black Ops mission while we were together. In fact it was that operation that got Simon sent back to Britain.” Jack felt an icy cold clutch around his heart. Apart from his official report only he and Simon knew what had happened on that mission. Could he do this? Could he tell Daniel, his idealistic, humanitarian lover what he had been part of that day and still keep his heart? He turned in Daniel’s arms to face him. He needed to see his eyes; needed to know if love turned to disgust. He tried to kneel, but the tiled floor cut into his skin and he knew it would be too uncomfortable. “Can we get in the hammock, Danny? If I’m going to do this I need to see you properly.”

Daniel nodded, understanding what Jack was saying. “Nothing you tell me will stop me from loving you,” he reassured as they both left the pool and padded through the house, dripping and naked, up the steps and into the loft.

Jack wasn’t so sure about that, but knew that if he refused to talk to Daniel about this he was risking the most important relationship he’d ever had. He could see how much Daniel was hurting, how angry he was that their relationship was so deeply undercover. Jack hoped he could make him understand why it had been different then; that he could make Daniel see why he avoided talking about it.

They rolled into the double hammock side by side. Daniel entwined the fingers of one hand with Jack’s and waited as the older man composed himself.

“About seven months after Simon joined my flight we were called into the base CO’s office.” Jack grimaced. “I really thought they were on to us and that this was it. We were going to be court-martialed, drummed out of the service, maybe even jailed. Si just laughed at me, told me not to be a ‘wazzock’. He was always willing to see the up-side.” Jack shook his head, remembering. “Anyway, he was right and our CO actually gave us an assignment. Well, he didn't give us direct orders but asked if we'd take it.”

Daniel frowned quizzically, “Didn’t think the Air Force ever asked, just ordered.”

Jack nodded, “Yeah. That’s true usually, but we weren't in a Black Ops unit and this was a serious mission. Higher up had decided we were the best men for the job and so the mission was put to us.” Jack sighed, wishing now, as he had after that mission, that his sense of duty had not made him agree to it.

“It was Simon’s ability to work a camera that got him assigned. Infiltration and marksmanship were my special skills, so we made the ideal team. We were dropped into Iraq. The Gulf war was, to all intents and purposes, over but there were still Covert Ops going on. Everything was under the radar, but the government had lots of scores to settle and there was ongoing fear that certain factions were planning terrorism, which 9/11 eventually proved correct. There was a lab set up deep in enemy territory which was supposed to be manufacturing a dirty bomb. We were to go in, assassinate the lead scientist and bring back intel about the composition and manufacture of the weapon, then get back to our rendezvous point without being seen or captured.” Jack looked at Daniel’s hand, not really seeing it as his thumb swept across the prominent knuckles.

“So. Black Ops? That means no back up? Total deniability?” Daniel was reeling a little at the idea that Jack had been involved in something as heavy as assassination.

“Yep. If we fucked up there'd be no rescue, no mention of our mission in official reports. Hell, even the President doesn’t know everything I’ve done.” Jack snorted, but there was no humor in his eyes. “So we dropped on target and then had to wait for two days until the guy in charge came for a site visit. Our orders were to take him out as cleanly as possible. Most of the scientists were civilian and, although they were working on terrorist projects, we really weren’t targeting them. We found a cave just outside the boundary of the compound and holed up.” He looked up at Daniel, trying to gauge from his eyes and body language just how this story was being received. The younger man squeezed his hand and Jack recognized the unspoken request for him to carry on.

“So we waited. The guy arrived right on schedule, but he didn’t come alone. There was quite the retinue: several cars and trucks. We didn’t see who got out of them, we were too far away, but the mission had to go on so we adapted our plans. There were more people to get past, but the main target was still there. We had the plans of the compound memorized. I would find and eliminate the target, and then Simon would document the lab and any weapons. We couldn’t risk blowing the place up, as the Intel was a bit sketchy on what they were actually building.

“Well, you’re here, so obviously it was a successful mission,” Daniel remarked, wondering why Jack seemed so reticent to talk about it. Apart from the distasteful idea of Jack as an assassin, it was really no more or less than they did when going through the Stargate.

“Depends how you define success, Danny.” Jack’s eyes were gimlets, the reality of the outcome written all over his face.

Daniel knew that look; he had seen it on Jack’s face during the first mission to Abydos, when he had been preparing the nuke. “God, Jack,” Daniel breathed. “What happened?”

“Everything went like clockwork. We waited until evening prayers. Most of the workers went to pray in a building right over the other side of the compound. We found the target’s office and he was there alone. I got him with a single shot and it was all over in seconds. Simon found the records we were looking for and took his pictures. I let myself believe that it was all going to be OK.” Jack shuddered and closed his eyes as he allowed himself to run the sequence of events that had haunted him for years afterwards. “We didn’t realize that part of the retinue was the guy’s family. His wife had heard something and barged into the office. She took one look and was gone again, back into the compound. I couldn’t let her raise the alarm.” Jack felt Daniel go stiff against him and he knew what the younger man was thinking. “I wasn’t going to kill her, Danny. Just catch her and tie her up. Just to give us time to get away. There are Black Ops guys I know who wouldn’t have thought twice about shooting her, but I wasn’t one of them.” He needed Daniel to believe him, to see he wouldn't have hurt the woman. He sought out Daniel’s eyes and saw only trust shining back at him. The relief he felt was almost palpable.

“I followed her out, leaving Simon to finish up. Suddenly there was screaming…Fuck!” Jack moved as if to get off the hammock, but Daniel caught him by the arm and dragged him back around. “Stay,” he ordered. “Sounds like it’s time this came out into the light.” Daniel stroked a thumb across his cheek. Jack took in a deep shuddering breath and leaned into Daniel’s welcoming body. Under any other circumstances this total skin to skin experience would have had Jack hard and panting within seconds. Right now it just felt like a safe harbor while Jack rode out the waves of grief and remorse flowing through his body.

“I walked into a blood bath. There were…God, Danny, there were three girls on the floor, all with their throats cut, not one of them older than 15. The woman was screaming at me, telling me that she had to kill them, that she wouldn’t let me defile them.” A lone tear escaped from Jack’s stricken eye, although Daniel wasn’t sure he was aware of it. “She was holding this big kitchen knife and her dress was covered in blood, her daughters’ blood, and she kept screaming that she had to do it, that she knew what we would do to them, how US soldiers raped and defiled the daughters of honest people who did them no wrong.” Jack squeezed his eyes tightly shut, as if to block out the sight. Daniel was cold with horror, both at the story and that he had forced Jack to remember this most terrible mission to salve his hurt, pride, and jealousy.

“That’s enough, Jack. Baby, please. You don’t have to tell me any more. It’s okay.” Jack was shaking with reaction and Daniel could feel the tension in Jack’s stomach muscles as he pressed tightly against him. If he hadn’t felt sick before he probably would now. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Daniel crooned, desperate to relieve the awful bleakness in Jack’s voice.

But Jack had begun the story and was unable to stop. In fact, he wanted to tell it. He knew it had been eating away at him again since he’d seen Simon in DC. Daniel was right; he did deserve to know what his presence in that place had caused to happen. Whether he would be able to look him in the eye afterwards was another question, but not one he was willing to look for the answer to right now. 

He continued, his voice more finely modulated, even detached. “I was about to grab her; get the knife off her when Simon came in. He should’ve secured the room, checked to see if the victims were still alive, but instead he just started taking pictures of those poor dead girls; snapping away with his fucking camera like it was some kind of sideshow. I lost it and yelled at him to secure the room – it was fucking SOP and he knew better than to take photos of that. If we’d have been captured, that film would have got us tortured and killed and the pictures used for propaganda. I took my eye off the mother for just a second to tell him to do his job and before I could stop her…She just took that knife and stuck it right in her chest, right to the hilt and there was nothing I could do, Danny. I could have disarmed her; I could have stopped her if he’d just done his fucking job.”

Jack was shaking in earnest now, although his skin didn’t feel cold and Daniel realized that it was reaction. “I’m just going to get a comforter to put over you, Jack. I’m coming straight back.” Daniel made to get out of the hammock, but was caught by the iron grip of Jack’s hand around his wrist.

“We got out of there and made our rendezvous,” Jack said quietly, his voice flat and emotionless. “I had to put it in my report. There were some guys who gave me hell about that; you always covered your buddy’s back, whatever went down. I know he thought of it as an account of what had happened. He always figured himself as some kind of historical artist; photography as a record of the world in all its horror and glory. But I could have stopped that last tragedy if he’d just done his job.” Jack’s voice was almost a whisper and Daniel pulled him close, trying to negate the worst of the tremors running through his body. “They hushed it all up of course; it was a Black Ops after all. But my report got him sent back to England. I loved him so much, but I hated him for being so stupid, so careless of his training and our safety as well as the life of that woman. We didn’t speak to each other again until I saw him in DC. I realized then I don’t hate him anymore.”

“But you still love him?” Daniel felt sick both in reaction to the story and to the implication that Jack might still feel something for this other man: This first love that had been so carefree of rules and regulations. How could he hope to fight against that, regardless of the history?

“Yeah,” The word was spoken so quietly that Daniel almost missed it. His stomach took a dive and he felt shards of ice make their way up his spine.

“Did you sleep with him in DC?” Daniel didn’t really want to hear the answer, but needed to know nevertheless.

“WHAT?!” Jack sprang out of the hammock, his face twisted in anger. “I just coughed up my guts for you here, gave you my darkest secret because you wouldn’t let it go and then all you can say is did I sleep with Simon?”

Daniel was wide eyed with shock at the vehemence of Jack’s reply. “You said…You said you still love him,” he stammered out. He saw the moment when Jack realized what he had said and how that one word would have sounded to his lover. Jack scrubbed his hand through his hair and pressed his thumb and forefinger into his eyes.

“Danny, I still love Sara, but that doesn’t mean I want to sleep with her.” He shook his head and walked back to the younger man who was lying frozen in the violently swinging hammock.

Stopping the movement, he slid back next to his lover and took his lover’s face in his hands. “Daniel, I love you. I’m IN love with you. I don’t want anyone else but you. Please believe me.” He pressed a gentle kiss to each of Daniel’s eyes and then molded their lips together. There was passion in the kiss, enough to light a small flame of arousal in Daniel. Suddenly he felt very foolish and very sorry for forcing Jack to make this confession. They had done and seen many things in their time together, some of which were truly awful, but they paled into insignificance against the horror of that experience: That a mother would kill her daughters...

“I love you, Jack.” Daniel breathed against Jack’s skin. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have pushed you for this. I don’t know why I’m so fucking jealous of Simon. I don’t feel that way at all about Sara.” He lifted his head to look into Jack’s eyes. There was a haunted look about them and Daniel wanted nothing more than to take that away. “I do trust you; although you probably find that hard to believe after my performance this afternoon.” He gave a little self-deprecating smile. Jack smoothed his thumbs over Daniel’s cheekbones, his hands clasped around his head in a tender embrace. He looked tired and more than a little exasperated.

“Oh, Danny,” he sighed. “Can we go to bed, please, just to sleep? I need to just lie next to you and be quiet for a little while, is that okay?”

Daniel nodded, still feeling mortified that he had made Jack open his soul so completely and for what? Without any more words they both made their way to the big king size bed and slid under cool sheets. Within only a few breaths Jack was asleep, cradled against Daniel’s chest, his arm flung possessively around his lover’s waist and their legs tangled together. Daniel listened to his deep, even breathing and watched as a tiny lizard made its way along the wall and into the thatched roof. Sleep evaded him as he tried to analyze everything Jack had said.

Daniel found himself going over and over his reasons for pushing Jack about all this. Simon was an ex-lover. Period. There was no reason for Daniel to be so overwhelmingly jealous of him. At first Daniel had wondered if it was because Simon was male. He’d known Jack was bi right from the beginning of their relationship and it had been obvious from their first time together that, although a little out of practice, Jack was not an innocent where gay sex was concerned. So Daniel had known all along there had been other men. He also knew that Jack still loved Sara. Not only as the mother of his child, but as the woman who had stood by him for many years, through his imprisonment in Iraq and the subsequent fallout on his return. Only the loss of Charlie and Jack’s inability to open up had forced a wedge between them that had eventually been insurmountable. Jack even saw her sometimes. They met to sign papers for the small scholarship Jack had set up with Charlie’s college fund. Jack had made her a co-signatory so that if anything happened to him the fund would still be available to their chosen students. They also went to the cemetery together, on Charlie’s birthday.

Daniel sighed and looked across at Jack. His face was relaxed in sleep and he was snoring gently. Why had he just put him through that? To ask this man; this wonderful, complex, irritating man, to tell him about that dark episode in his life. And to think that Jack had loved him enough, trusted him enough to be willing to let Daniel into a place Jack hardly ever went to himself. Daniel wanted to cry. He’d forced Jack to let him in and there was really no reason to. But despite that regret Daniel could still feel the slow burn of jealousy, crackling away under the surface. He had an insane urge to go down into the dining room, find all the albums and burn every picture of Jack and Simon. He wanted the other man to know what it felt like to have a love affair that was undocumented, unnoticed and undercover. Daniel was so sick of the secrecy. He was proud of Jack and all he had achieved in his career, but more than that he loved Jack with an overwhelming passion. His lover was everything; he filled the empty places that Daniel hadn’t realized were there until Jack had poured himself into every nook and cranny.

Daniel slid off the bed, careful not to wake Jack. He moved to the veranda, leaned against the low wall and looked out to sea. This place was a perfect paradise and Jack had brought him here. But the voice in his head wouldn’t let him enjoy that knowledge. Hissing away in the back of his mind was the green-eyed monster, whispering Simon’s name; Simon’s beach house, Simon’s castle, Simon’s title, Simon, Simon, Simon…Overlaying it all was the self-recriminating voice telling him what a massive shit he was being.

Disgusted with himself Daniel decided he needed a drink; a big, stiff, alcoholic beverage that would burn his throat and warm his stomach because right now he didn’t like himself very much. Pausing only to slide on his shorts and take another look at his sleeping lover, he padded quietly across the loft and down the terracotta tiled steps in search of strong liquor.

******

_‘Summertime, and the livin’ is easy. Fish are jumpin’…’ Nah, no fish jumpin, not in this pond anyhow. Come to think of it, I don’t recall ever catching anything here. Maybe if I’d kept a hold of the pole Gramps made me…but hey, water under the bridge now._

_Crap. I’m doin’ that Lucy stuff old Ping-pong does again. Back here in Eagle Lake. Wonder if this is going to be another close encounter with the old man. I don’t know how it’s possible to love someone and hate someone so much at the same time. He was real bastard, too quick with his fist and his tongue. He would never just listen. He was right and that was the end of it. It didn’t matter how often I tried to tell him about the Air Force, he didn’t wanna know. Ah, well…_

_The pond is pretty quiet today. There’re usually kids all over; fishing, swimming, messing around. I think I might stretch my legs while I’m here, take a look around. Walk the perimeter. Ha! Daniel would love that. I even threat assess in my dreams. Well, laugh it up, book-boy. My training has saved your civilian ass on more than one occasion – and what a mighty fine ass it is, although that ass has also been the cause of many of my worst moments, too._

_It really is too quiet around here. Even in my dreams you’d think I’d be seeing some of the people I knew back then. Why am I dreaming about places and events from my past, but not really people – well, apart from Gramps of course, the last time I was here._

_Ah, now here we go. There’s a kid sitting just up ahead. Doesn’t look like he’s enjoying the sunshine too much though; long sleeved plaid shirt and crapped up jeans are not summer clothes, not where I come from._

_‘Hey, kid.’_

_He’s not looking up. His legs are pulled up, arms wrapped tightly round, and he has his head on his knees. He’s shivering and I can’t tell if he’s crying or cold. He can’t be cold. It’s got to be climbing eighty plus degrees._

_‘Hey.’ I’m gonna try the soft and gentle approach. It works with dogs, and kids usually like me. ‘Whatchadoin?’_

_He’s turning his head now and I can see his eyes. Aww, crap. He’s obviously been crying for a while. Red rims and his face covered in tears and snot. He looks so miserable, it’s making me wanna cry, too. Those eyes look so haunted and so fucking OLD. God! I know him._

_‘I know you. You were on the beach.’_

_He’s giving me such a pitiful look. And then, damn…He's holding out his hands and they are tied with some kind of ligature and as he's reaching out to me, the sleeves of his shirt are riding up and I can see he has bruises that look like they go right up his arms. His wrists are tied with a leather…It’s a shoelace, a leather shoelace and from the way the skin is broken he’s been tied like that for a while._

_I’m trying to get enough spit in my mouth so I can talk to him, but I’m so fucking angry. Who would do this? He’s no more than thirteen although he could be younger. He’s so thin it’s hard to tell. He turns his head and his eyes are burning me. I’ve only met one other person who can do that with a glance and Daniel hasn’t done that to me in a long time. This kid has it down to a fine art. There's pain and innocence and hate and fear all crowded into that one look. Part of me wants to gather him up and run away with him, but another part is afraid; afraid of what he can see because his eyes are burning a path into my soul and I’m sure there’s not a part of me safe from that laser stare._

_I’m caught here like a deer in the headlights, not able to move. But now he’s moving; turning his upper body and reaching out his bound wrists to me. It’s almost like he’s begging, but I don’t believe this kid would ever do that. Something tells me he would rather die than back down. How does a kid get that kind of bravery? I want to cut him free, take those poor raw wrists and soothe them._

_‘Want me to take those off kid?’ It’ll be just a few seconds work with my trusty ankle blade. Huh? Now I know I’m dreaming. No blade! I never - and I mean never - go anywhere without that blade. It’s even in my case at the beach house. But here? Shit, here I’m powerless to help this kid. If I try to pull that binding off it’ll tear the skin worse._

_‘Hold on, buddy. I’m gonna go find someone, or something. I’ll get you out of there.’_

_I mean to move, but I just can’t. It’s like I’m frozen to the spot and now he’s saying something. It’s almost too quiet to hear._

_‘What’s that?’_

_‘My social worker’s coming tomorrow. How you gonna explain this?’ He’s pushing his wrists out towards me and there’s a sneer on his face. Everything about his voice and his mouth says contempt, but it’s a lie. He’s so scared, but he’s fighting and I just want to rip the head off whoever has made him like this._

_I realize now that he’s not talking to me, his eyes are focused somewhere over my shoulder. I crane around to see who the bastard is, but I’m the only one here. Suddenly the fight’s all gone out of him and I’m watching as he crawls back into himself. He’s whispering something…need to get a little closer to hear…_

_‘One day it’ll all be over malo_ _kopač_ _. I’ll find where he hides it and then he won’t be able to hurt me ever again…Just one cut and it will all be over.’_

_He's running his thumb across the raw skin of his wrist and I can’t look at him anymore. There’s a rock in my chest and I can hardly breathe. I don’t know how, but I’m sure he’s not talking about cutting that ligature…He wants…Oh, God…_

Jack woke curled in a fetal ball on the edge of the bed. The tears that coursed down his face were hot and bitter. He wanted this to stop. These crazy dreams were tearing out his heart. They left him feeling sick and disorientated and he didn’t know if he was losing his mind or if he was so sick he was hallucinating.

Surging out of bed he stood in the middle of the room, feeling lost and totally bereft. He wanted to go back and save that kid, make the pain stop, but that was just stupid. It was just a dream; the culmination of his illness and the stress of what he had told Daniel earlier. He took a deep breath. Yeah, that was it. Remembering those little girls with their throats…well of course he was off-kilter. His subconscious was just dredging up those memories and mixing them with hallucinations caused by his sickness.

He had an overwhelming urge to find Daniel. He needed to hold him, wrap himself around that beloved body and never let go. He felt that if he didn’t hold on tight he would shake apart and shatter into a million pieces. Jack looked down at his shaking hands and snorted. ‘You’re a fucking head-case, O’Neill,’ he berated himself. ‘It’s lucky for you we’re not at the SGC or McKenzie would be dragging out a new white jacket for you to wear and a suite at the Nut House Hotel.’

Sinking back down on the bed Jack tried to get his scattered thoughts together. He should tell Daniel what was happening, they should go back to the Mountain and let Janet run him through her MRI scanner. He flopped back on the bed, holding his face in his hands. “I know what I should do,” he muttered to the room. “But then that would mean I’d have to face the fact I could be three fries short of a Happy Meal.” He was too scared and too stubborn to let this get the better of him. He’d been fighting most of his adult life and he’d faced far more frightening things than this through the Gate. He was Colonel Jack O’Neill, 2iC of Stargate Command not some little kid who cowered in a corner after a bad dream.

Gathering himself by force of will he stood and strode over to the balcony. Looking down he saw Daniel sitting on the lounge chair with a glass of amber liquid resting on his knee.

“Don’t suppose I could have one of those?” he asked, pleased when his voice didn’t waver.

Daniel looked up and his smile burned through Jack’s fear and left him feeling safe and loved. “Nah, ‘fraid not. There’s plenty of Izel’s tea though.”

“Okay, I’ll be right down.”

Jack made his way out of the loft and down to the dining room. The black mood was lifting and he felt himself growing calmer.

‘See, O’Neill,” he chided himself as he accepted a fragrant cup of tea and a tender kiss from his smiling lover, ‘Nothing that can’t be fixed with a cup of tea and a dose of Danny.’

_malo kopač – little digger (Croatian)_

 

 

 

 


	7. Through A Glass, Darkly VII

Jack woke from a deep cleansing sleep. He felt tantalisingly close to something, something important. He was also so hard he could feel every beat of his heart as it pulsed through his cock and marked time on his belly. Daniel was snoring gently beside him sprawled across the cool sheets. The evidence of his lover’s time in the sun glowed in the deep golden tan across his broad smooth shoulders. Jack couldn’t resist the temptation Daniel presented, laid out like an offering before him. Lifting his upper body, Jack stretched up over his lover’s prone form and pressed softer than air kisses to the first knob of his spine. Reverently and tenderly Jack continued his journey, feeling Daniel beginning to rise through the press of sleep into wakefulness. Tiny flickers in his muscles gave away Daniel’s appreciation of his lover’s ministrations and Jack gave a breathy moan as a slight shimmy of Daniel’s hips made contact with his sensitive dick.

“You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen,” Jack murmured as he kissed his way down to the dip where Daniel’s narrow waist joined the swell of the delectable ass still hidden under the covers.

“Ugh,” Daniel replied, his ability to make a cogent sentence being robbed by the heat Jack’s lips were generating in his belly and groin.

Jack slid his hand under the sheets and trailed his fingers over one butt cheek and across the other, sliding his index finger down to gently fondle the crease between them. Daniel groaned in anticipation and canted his hips to encourage Jack to continue the journey.

Jack grinned. “Hey! Eager much? Thought you’d want at least one coffee first,” he teased.

Daniel turned his head and gazed at Jack with eyes more awake than his lover had anticipated. Jack had expected slow burn; a drawn out dance of arousal through breakfast until they couldn’t stand it any longer and fell back into bed. But the sparks in Daniel’s eyes were so hungry that the smoulder quickly became a conflagration and all Jack wanted was to be buried in Daniel, balls deep, listening to him cry out. The need was so intense that Jack almost came from the thought alone. He found himself gripping his balls and tugging down with sharp desperation. He wanted to hear Danny make those noises more than he wanted to come. He was relieved when the moment of pain made his imminent climax recede and he reached out for Daniel, who came willingly into his arms.

Their lips met and they both felt the shock of electricity as their nerve endings burned with desire. Jack pulled the younger man over him and pressed him down, relishing the heat and weight of his muscled body as it moulded to him.

“What do you want, Jack?” Daniel breathed into his mouth as they shared wet open mouthed kisses, neither one willing to relinquish the lips of the other in order to breathe or speak.

“You, I just want you.” Jack was almost speechless with desire. Every cell of his body was singing with need for the man plastered against him. He knew he loved Daniel, adored him, but there were no words for how he felt right at that minute; so totally connected to Daniel on every possible level. Jack felt tears prickle in his eyes and wasn’t able to draw breath for a moment or two.

Daniel drew back a little from their kisses and the look of sheer devilment in his eyes made Jack’s heart give a little stutter. Oh, this was going to be good. Daniel was inventive at the best of times, but Jack knew without having to ask whatever they were going to do now was going to blow his mind.

“I have an idea,” Daniel growled as he lifted his body away from Jack’s grasp. His lover groaned at the loss and made a grab for the younger man’s arm. But Daniel was too quick for him and lithely flipped himself over and around, ending up straddled over Jack’s hips facing his feet. Bending forwards he presented Jack with a prime view of his ass, open and inviting. Jack surged forward, bending at the waist, and grabbed Daniel’s hips, holding him in place as he pressed his face to the golden swell of muscle and flesh. Daniel’s moan of pleasure was everything Jack could’ve wished for as he swiped his tongue along the crack and across the dark pucker. Daniel’s skin was all salt and musk and Jack felt like a thirsty man at an oasis. He wanted to drink his fill and then drink more as this thirst could never be sated. Loosening his grip on Danny’s hips he used his thumbs to part the cheeks, opening him to his view and giving himself more space for his continued attention to Daniel’s hole. Daniel was rocking now, his hands either side of Jack’s thighs, his head hanging low between his shoulders as he continually moaned and mumbled encouragement and curses in equal measure. Jack stiffened his tongue and began to jab the point into the swiftly loosening pucker; every sway of Daniel’s body forcing him further and further inside. The movement of his body was making Daniel’s cock bounce and tap against Jack’s rock hard erection causing sparks of lust to feed back into Jack’s roving mouth and tongue.

“More,” Daniel eventually moaned, “Need more, Jack. Want you in me.” He accentuated his request by pressing his hips down and bringing his hot length in alignment with Jack’s, causing Jack to cry out and clutch at Daniel’s hips again. He pulled back, hoping to encourage Daniel to twist around, to bring them face to face but Daniel had other ideas.

“No, Jack. This way. Deep. Different. You can watch yourself fuck me,” Daniel gasped. “An’ I can look at your sexy feet,” he added with a little breathy sound that was halfway between a moan and a giggle. The idea of watching as his length disappeared inside Daniel made Jack’s breath catch, too, and he didn’t need any more persuading. Reaching beneath the pillow he snagged the bottle of Astroglide and quickly slicked up his cock.

“You want fingers first?” Jack asked breathlessly, willing to take the time to prep his partner rather than hurt him.

“Nooo,” Daniel moaned urgently, “Want you in me NOW!” Illustrating his urgent desire, Daniel lifted up on his powerful thighs, scooted forward and, reaching behind him to position Jack’s cock, sank slowly down until his balls pressed against Jack’s, causing a tactile feedback loop. Jack had to clutch at the sheet beneath him to stop the amazing sensation from ending their lovemaking before it started. He forced his breathing to slow and even out, calling on the training that helped him to sight and fire a weapon even in the most difficult of circumstances. After a few moments he felt the imminent urge to come recede slightly and he could once again concentrate on the overwhelming sight of his lover seated above him, trembling with suppressed want. 

“Jack?”

Daniel’s breathy plea was all Jack needed to spur him into action. Clamping his hands back onto his lover’s hips he encouraged him to rise, sliding his body slowly up the thick hard column of his cock until only the tip remained inside him. Daniel teetered for a moment, his thighs trembling with the tension of holding him in place and then Jack lifted his pelvis and pulled him back down onto him. The moan Danny let loose was pure aural sex. It hit Jack in the solar plexus and trickled down his legs in a pulsing aching current, making him lurch back up to seat himself even more fully in Daniel’s heat.

They set a fast pace, their intimate familiarity with each other allowing them to find a rhythm that had them both flying; their bodies and minds meshing in overwhelming sensation.

“Danny…Fuck… Oh, God, baby, what you do to me.”  Jack squeezed his eyes shut, the visual stimulus of seeing Daniel rising and falling on his cock was just too much and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it together for much longer. “Touch yourself…Wanna feel you come…Need you to…” he begged, struggling to find his control in amongst the slew of emotional and physical sensations bombarding him.

“Yeah, Russ, yeah.”

At first Jack was unsure what he had heard, thinking that Daniel was babbling in some obscure dialect. But over the moans he heard his lover again and this time there was no mistaking the words.

“Fuck, Russ…Please, baby, tell me…Just say it…Russ…I love you. Why can’t you just say it?”

What the fuck...? Daniel was calling out for another man.

Jack’s eyes flew open, his stomach an ice block in the centre of his body. His initial shock soon became out and out terror as his vision cleared and he looked up to see not the broad shoulders and narrow waist of his lover, but the slighter form of a man with long, dark blond hair swaying against his shoulders as he moved above Jack. The startling vision deflated Jack’s erection immediately and, with a cry of alarm and fear, he pushed the young man off his body and scrambled over the bed and onto the floor beside it. His vision greyed for a moment as the adrenalin and rapid movement made his blood pressure drop. As his sight returned he looked reluctantly over to the bed to see the vision of the long haired man had morphed into the familiar face of his lover, who was staring at him with a mixture of deep concern and shock.

Jack was fighting for some kind of equilibrium as he watched Daniel slide across the bed. “Don’t…” he barked both as an order and a warning. “Don’t you fucking come near me…”

As the initial terror left his muscles he managed to rise and stand by the bed, out of reach of Daniel’s arms which were held in front of him almost in his signature ‘peaceful explorer’ pose. He looked disturbed, his chest heaving from shock and their earlier physical work out. Jack’s heart began to break into tiny pieces as his brain caught up with his body and relayed the message that Daniel had been yelling another man’s name.  He felt caught between fight and flight, wanting to punish Daniel for an obvious infidelity and wanting to run away from the overwhelming heartbreak that was beginning to coil itself around his soul. He was also quietly freaking at the appearance of yet another unexplained ‘ghost’ whose shape was already beginning to slip from his memory.

Over the loud buzzing in his ears, Jack caught the sound of the panga’s outboard engine. A remote part of his brain told him that Juan still hadn’t got the carburettor sorted out. Making a snap decision and willing his frozen muscles to move, he rushed over to the balcony wall and looked over, to see Izel being helped off the boat.

“Izel,” he yelled, his voice breaking. “Tell Juan to hold the boat. I’ll be down in a moment.”

He turned to find Daniel standing right behind him, his beloved face lined with worry.

“Jack?” Daniel’s hand was raised and Jack knew he was going to touch him, draw him in, and he couldn’t let that happen. He was afraid and angry and unable to process the pain of betrayal that was turning his stomach to ice and his heart to stone.

“I said don’t fucking come near me!”

Daniel froze in place; his hand still raised, hovering just millimetres from his lover. Jack saw him swallow hard and the movement drew his eyes to the long column of Daniel’s throat and the smooth hard chest, still flushed from passion. Jack almost broke then; his stomach burned with acid and his arms ached to just hold his love. But it was too late. He had been betrayed, he was sure of that and the thought that Daniel had been sleeping with another man…On shaking legs he pushed past Daniel and made his way to the door.

“Jack, please. Baby, please tell me what’s wrong. Just calm down and talk to me.”

Jack turned in the doorway and looked back into the room. Daniel’s breath caught in his throat at the look of total desolation he saw in Jack’s eyes. The pain hit him like a physical blow and he involuntarily took a step back. Before he could recover Jack was gone, flying down the stairs and into the house.

When Daniel could no longer see him he could still hear his passage through downstairs rooms as any object that got in his way was summarily disposed of. Pulling himself together, Daniel grabbed the first pair of pants he found and dragged them on. On shaking legs he made his way down the terracotta steps and back into the main house. Izel was standing at the kitchen island, a look of alarm and total confusion on her face. Daniel didn’t have time to explain; he needed to get to Jack; needed to find out exactly what was going on with his lover.

Jack was in the master bedroom, hurriedly stuffing clothes into a large duffle. He was already dressed in jeans and a summer shirt, his feet pushed into the thong sandals he had bought in a market on the mainland.

“Jack? Where are you going?” Daniel was at a loss as to the reason for Jack’s behaviour, but it was scaring him. “Jack, please just talk to me.”

The blank, hard look that Jack gave him chilled Daniel to the bone. “I think I’ve heard enough words from you.”  It was bitten out; sharp and cutting, meant to wound. Daniel was rocked by the force of it, but struggled to continue their dialogue, hoping against hope that he could find some way of getting through to Jack.

“Perhaps if you just stop a moment?” Daniel tried again to reach out for Jack, but this time was physically stopped by an upraised arm. Daniel could feel his enforced calm beginning to melt away. He was afraid and angry. Why was Jack acting like this? What could he possibly have done to make Jack want to leave? Then it hit Daniel that Jack wasn't just leaving the island.

Jack was leaving Daniel.

“Please, Jack.” Daniel was desperate. He could see from the flinty hardness of Jack’s eyes and the set of his jaw that he wasn’t in a place where he would be willing to listen, but Daniel had to try. He couldn’t lose him, not here in paradise; not ever.

Jack was already moving. He pushed roughly past his dumbfounded lover and out into the main living area. He stopped for just a moment to look at Izel and seemed to make a decision. He dropped the duffle on the floor and pulled out the album that had been hurriedly stuffed under the coffee table a few days ago. Flipping back the pages he found what he was looking for. Daniel watched as Jack pulled out the photograph. It was a large, professional shot of a young Jack, his hair much longer than regulation, in a suit and dark blue shirt, standing next to Simon de’Vere. Neither man was smiling, but the connection between them was obvious even on that flat printed page.  Again, Daniel felt a surge of jealousy and regret that his relationship with Jack had never been that open. Jack pulled the shot from its paper mount and quickly and efficiently stowed it in the top of the bag. Grabbing the handles he slung the duffle over his shoulder and walked out of the open French doors, onto the patio and then down to the beach beyond.

Suddenly Daniel was filled with anger. He wasn’t about to let Jack just walk away from their relationship; their life together. Galvanised into action he ran after his lover, getting to him just as Jack reached the boat.

“What the fuck are you doing, Jack?” he spat out. “Are you just going to leave without talking about this…whatever it is?”

Jack turned and once again his look was chilling. His eyes were swimming with moisture, but his gaze was dead and cold. “You wanna talk, Daniel?” he sneered. “You wanna tell me how you have the fucking nerve to be jealous of my relationship with Simon from over THIRTY years ago while you…You…” Jack clenched his fists, wanting nothing more than to punch Daniel; to let go of some of the pain and rage that was roiling in his gut. “Why don’t you give Russ a call? I’m sure he’d be happy to fly out here and talk to you all you’d like.” Jack turned away and began to wade the short distance through the surf to the moored panga.

Daniel couldn’t just let him go and although he knew it was foolhardy, he clutched at Jack’s arm and pulled the older man around to face him. Jack’s reaction was instantaneous. With a single lightening fast move he dumped Daniel on his ass in the surf. His hand was still outstretched when Daniel looked up and the young man could see the trembling Jack couldn’t hide.

Beneath all that rage Jack was falling apart.

Daniel watched defeated as Jack turned around and threw first his bag and then himself into the waiting boat.

Daniel tracked the boat as it made its way across the bay towards the mainland and didn’t stop watching until it disappeared completely from view. As the surf lapped over him he finally let himself believe it was all over between them and the tears that had been filling his eyes fell heavy and silent.

Izel had watched the unfolding drama from the patio doorway. She'd seen the angry exchange of the two men and did not recognize their obvious love for one another in the harsh words and physical violence. Her confusion had been compounded as, while Jack had climbed aboard the panga and Daniel lay breathless and distraught in the surf, she'd seen the figure of a long haired man. He was still standing there with his back to her, mid way between the house and the sea. His dark blonde hair hung straight down his back, reaching below his shoulders. He was thin and fine boned. Izel thought he probably didn’t eat or sleep well. She knew he was a spirit; as usual she could feel his aura, but there was something different about him, something she couldn’t place. She was about to disregard him, wanting to turn her attention to the living, hurting figure of Daniel, when the vision turned and looked straight at her. Izel gasped as she realized the spirit had Daniels face; the electric blue eyes burned out at her and they seemed to be begging her for help. He turned and pointed at Daniel and as her eyes followed his gesture, he was gone as suddenly as he had arrived. Izel hurried quickly down the steps and across the beach. Daniel was just rising from the surf. He was still looking out to sea as if hoping to see the boat returning.

“Mr. Daniel,” Izel called gently. “Come inside now. You should get dry.” He turned at her call and she gave a little cry at the depth of sorrow she saw. She had no doubt that he thought his lover was gone forever. “Come, Daniel,” she said more firmly, feeling the spirit of her Toci urging her on. “I think we have to talk.”

******

Daniel clasped the cup of coffee in both hands and looked into the dark liquid as if hoping to divine some truth from it. He felt totally bereft. It didn’t matter if he had his eyes open or closed: All he could see was the look in Jack’s eyes. That misery was reflected deep in Daniel’s heart and he thought he could never feel truly happy again.

“Mr. Daniel…Daniel…DANIEL!”

Daniel jumped a little. He’d never heard Izel raise her voice above a polite volume and her tone was commanding and strident.

“You must listen to me. There is something you should know.” The small woman slid onto the chair next to him and placed her plump brown hand on his.

“Where has he gone, Izel? We only have two more weeks of leave together…” Daniel’s voice broke on the last word. Were they still together? He really wasn’t sure and if they weren’t then Daniel didn’t know what he would do.

“I think I know where he has gone…” Izel gave a sigh as Daniel turned and looked at her expectantly. “If you were thinking clearly you would know, too,” she continued cryptically.

Daniel pushed the coffee mug away. He dropped his head down into his hands and tried to calm his racing brain. “I don’t even know what this was all about…and what do you mean there is something I should know?”

When he raised his head again, Izel took his hands in hers and began to speak in her quiet, accented voice. “When I was a little girl I would wake up in the middle of the night and find a small boy sitting at the end of my bed. He did not speak to me; in fact he was always very still, sitting in the same position. At first I was afraid. I would cover my head with my blankets and pray to the Virgin to protect me from the evil spirit. But one day, my Toci heard me praying and came into my room to see what I was doing.” The woman smiled warmly as she remembered her beloved grandmother. “I explained to her about the little boy and she kissed me on both cheeks, told me not to be afraid and said she would talk to me about it in the morning. Then she turned to the little boy and asked him to leave me to sleep in peace.” Izel shook her head in wonder. “He just disappeared into thin air and Toci tucked me in and told me to sleep and not to worry.” Izel stood and made her way to the kitchen, still telling her story over the half wall between the counter and the dining room.

“The next day she explained that I was very special and that I had a gift that had been handed down through the women of my family for many generations.”

“The sight…” Daniel breathed, half way between exasperation and wonder at her story.

“Yes. I can see the spirits of the dead. They come to me, but never speak, never touch me. I wondered at first what their purpose was, but then one day, I saw a little girl who had disappeared only days before.” Izel gave a sad smile and her eyes misted. “I was able to tell her family that she was dead and they were able to mourn her, instead of spending their lives wondering if she was really gone or not.”

“Izel,” Daniel said quietly, “I’m sorry, but I don’t understand what this has to do with Jack. We know he’s not dead, he’s only just left.”

Izel gave him a wry smile. “Ah, young Daniel, I am getting to that.”

Daniel nodded and with difficulty schooled his features and leaned back into the chair.

“Before I tell you what I know, can you tell me something?” Izel asked, coming back to the table with a tray containing a jug of juice and two glasses.

“Anything if it will help me work out what went on here today, because frankly, Izel, I’m totally at a loss.”

“Very well. What did you look like when you were, oh, about 20 years of age?”The housekeeper poured two glasses of juice and took a sip from one as she watched Daniel process the question.

“Um,” he began uncertainly, “well…I was skinny, much thinner than I am now, but I had reached this height by then.” He shrugged his shoulders, unsure what else to say.

“Your hair,” Izel questioned. “Was it long?” She indicated with her hands just past her shoulder.

Daniel looked amazed. “Why, yes it was. It was my act of rebellion. My foster families always wanted me to keep it short; it was easier for them to deal with I suppose.” He sighed, “As soon as I got to college I began to grow it and by the time I was 21 it was right to my shoulders as you said.” Daniel grasped his juice glass with slightly trembling hands and took a little sip. “On my first dig I realized that it was totally impractical and decided to have it cut shorter. But it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I cut it this short.” He ran his hand through his hair and flashed back to Jack doing the same thing only a few short hours ago. He swallowed down the lump that formed in his throat and turned his eyes back to the little woman across the table. “What has this all got to do with Jack, Izel, and how did you know about my hair?”

“This has never happened to me before, Daniel. But when I was watching Mr. Jack leave, I saw a young man on the beach with you.” She raised her eyebrows, waiting for Daniel to make the connection.

“But there was no one else there except for me and Jack, and of course Juan on the panga.” He insisted.

Izel reached across the table and grasped Daniel’s wrist with a deceptively strong grip. “I know what I saw. There was a young man, about your height only much thinner, with long, dark blonde hair. He stood behind you on the beach.” She leaned forward, hoping to get him to see her sincerity. “Normally this would be nothing to me. I would notice him and move on. But, Daniel,” she continued, her voice almost a whisper, “he turned, just before he disappeared and…He had your face.” Izel’s eyes were wide, her face open and truthful and Daniel could see she believed what she was telling him.

But how could that be?

“I’m here, Izel, and although the idea of being dead isn't a new one for me, I guarantee you I am very much alive.” He was confused and a little concerned. Was this some kind of alien influence? Jack had been behaving out of character and now Izel was telling him she was the kid out of ‘Sixth Sense’, only the 'dead' person she was seeing was him.

“I do not understand it myself, “Izel explained carefully. “But this was not the first spirit I have seen while you have been here. This is the first time I have seen any of the dead at La Troza. According to Toci the spirits tend to come back to their home, or where they were most happy and as far as I know no one has died here at the Beach House, not for a very long time.”

Daniel was struggling to make sense of the information Izel had given him. Could this have any relevance to what had just happened with Jack?

“Jack didn’t mention seeing anything or anyone.”

Izel shook her head. “He may not have mentioned it, but I know he saw a young boy in the loft room only yesterday. I watched as he stared at the boy for several seconds.” The woman bit her bottom lip and looked a little shamefaced. “I thought perhaps Mr. Jack had the same gift as I,” she explained. “I, too, do not tell everyone about my gift. Many people do not understand and think it is from the Devil rather than from God. But now I wonder if he was seeing for the first time.”

Jack hadn’t said anything to Daniel and he was more than a little disturbed to find that Jack had kept seeing a supposed spirit child from him. “Jack has been very sick,” Daniel began to try to unravel what was going on. “Perhaps he thought he was hallucinating?”

Izel looked at Daniel expectantly. “Maybe, but that does not explain why he was so angry with you this morning.”

Suddenly something Jack had shouted at him as he left came back to Daniel.

_“You wanna talk, Daniel? Why don’t you give Russ a call? I’m sure he’d be happy to fly out here and talk to you all you’d like.”_

Daniel’s heart began to hammer in his chest. How could he have possibly forgotten? Russ…Daniel had been…What?..20, 21?

“Oh, Izel.”Daniel swallowed down a huge gulp of juice, trying desperately to get moisture back into his dust dry mouth. “Jack told me to talk to Russ if I wanted to talk to anyone.”

Izel nodded encouragingly. “Who is this Russ?”

“That’s just the thing, Izel. Jack didn’t know about Russ. In fact, I’d completely forgotten about him until now.” Daniel could feel his heart hammering in his chest. “Russ was the first man I really fell in love with. I was 21 and at college. I looked exactly as you described. I don’t know how it’s possible, but it seems that Jack heard Russ’s name.”Daniel shook his head in disbelief. “But it’s impossible. I know I didn’t say his name…Crap, I’ve only just remembered him right now.” He looked over at Izel, trying to make sense of the muddle of thoughts careering through his mind.

“Daniel,” Izel said quietly, pulling on his hand to get his attention. “Your Jack is going to Castle Blair.”

“To Scotland?” Daniel yelled, astonished. “To fucking Simon de’Vere!”

Izel blushed and Daniel stood quickly and moved to her side of the table. “Izel, I’m so sorry. It’s just that I have been jealous of Simon since I found out about him and Jack. If Jack thinks me and Russ…If he’s gone there thinking I…” Daniel felt his stomach lurch. “I have to go to the airport. I have to stop him getting on that plane.”

Izel nodded her understanding. “I cannot get another boat here for at least 3 hours. Juan was going up the coast again as the panga outboard is still not properly fixed. Another boat would have to come from further across the bay and even if I can get hold of the boatman it will take that long to get here.”

Daniel slammed his hand down on the table making the glasses and pitcher jump several inches. “Dammit!  He could be in the air on his way to Scotland by then.”

“Stay calm, Mr. Daniel. I will make the call now and see how quickly they can get here.” She patted him gently on the forearm. “Maybe you should pack a bag and find out about flights?”

The young man nodded his thanks as he slumped back down at the table. He stared ahead without seeing as the faint sound of Izel’s voice speaking to the boatman drifted across the large room. He felt frozen. All the unbelievable things he had seen and done over the years in the Stargate program and it was something here on Earth that had totally floored him. His thoughts were racing as he tried to make sense of everything he had heard and remembered, but it was all a jumble in his mind. He jumped in surprise as he felt Izel’s warm hand on his shoulder.

“Come, Daniel. I will help you pack a bag and then you will show me how wonderful the internet is.” She continued to chatter as she manoeuvred him towards the master suite. “My grandsons tell me that anything is possible with an internet connection and a credit card…Although why they know about that at 9 and 12 years old I have no idea…”

*****

Twenty minutes later Daniel was booked on a flight from Licenciado Gustavo Díaz Ordaz International Airport in Puerto Vallarta to Dallas Fort Worth. From there it would be a 9 hour flight to London Heathrow before boarding an internal flight to Edinburgh and then a short hop to Wick. His overall travel time would be nearly 24 hours and Daniel hoped against hope that he could catch up with Jack before that became necessary. However, the longer the boat took to arrive, the more certain he was that Jack would have begun that same journey three hours ahead of him. Daniel felt sick with anxiety that in the worst case scenario it would be a day and a half before he could be face to face with his love again and finally able to sort out the mess they’d found themselves in.

Izel watched helplessly as Daniel became more and more agitated, his fingers constantly tapping a disjointed rhythm on the table top as he scanned the horizon for any sign of the boat. Every few minutes he lifted his cell phone and tried again to contact Jack, leaving the same message every time.

_“Jack, please…I need to talk to you. Something about all this just doesn’t make sense. Please, baby, just give me a call so we can talk about it. I love you.”_

A frantic search through his bag for the charger when the battery died made Daniel realise that if Jack hadn’t answered by now he wasn’t going to. He left the phone on the counter to recharge, but couldn’t help walking back to it every few minutes to check for missed calls even though he had the ring tone on its loudest setting.

In fact it was over 4 hours before a boat arrived. Izel hugged Daniel and made him promise that he would call her as soon as he arrived at Castle Blair. She pushed her cell phone number, a flask of coffee and a bag of the little sweet biscuits he loved so much into his hands and then gently kissed his cheek.

“You will be back, Daniel; You and your Jack. Then you will finish your vacation and be happy.”

Daniel tried to smile back, but his heart felt too heavy. “I hope you’re right Izel. I hope to God you’re right.”

As Daniel watched the house and Izel get smaller as the mainland drew closer he couldn’t help wondering how things got turned upside down. They had arrived there so in love, so ready for this magical vacation. Jack had done everything in his power to make it fun and relaxing. Yet all they had done was argue and accuse. However unlikely it was, Daniel hoped there was some outside influence at work because if not then he wasn’t sure if they could salvage their relationship.

 

 

 


	8. Through A Glass, Darkly  VIII

The scenery rolled by the window of the vintage Rolls Royce as it made its way along the winding roads outside the small hamlet of Glen Arach. Lolling against the inside of the rear window Jack saw nothing but the inside of his eyelids as he fought the rising tide of nausea that had plagued him in varying degrees throughout the journey from Mexico.  As the car made a sharp left he cracked his eyes open and recognized the distinctive shape of Castle Blair, lodged in the valley between two crags known locally as the ‘Old Man and His Wife’. Relief flooded him as the car swung in a long arc around the bend and through monumental iron gates.

‘Less than half a mile now,’ he thought as they slowed past the gatehouse and the driver nodded to the shepherd and his dog as they watched the graceful old car drive past. There was the crunch of gravel under the tires as the driver took a turn around the cannon which stood proudly in the center of the white stoned courtyard.

Castle Blair was nothing like the castles conjured up by Disney. It was square and solid and the gray stone oozed history while the myriad windows winked and shone in the evening sunlight. The light up here in the Highlands was different from anywhere else Jack had been in his long and varied career. It had a softness to it that seemed to tinge everything it touched with a violet glow.  He was a little surprised at how emotional seeing the castle made him after all this time and he had to take a couple of deep breaths to get both the nausea and the rising tide of feeling under control.

‘Danny would love this,’ he thought before the reason for his flight halfway across the world slammed back into his mind. The turmoil in his head was reflected in his stomach and he was sure he was going to make a complete idiot of himself right there on the pristine white stones of the courtyard.

The door was opened slowly and he had time to lift his heavy body away before he fell out of the car in an undignified heap. He looked up to see the gimlet eyes of a very familiar face.

“Mac,” Jack croaked thickly. “Good to see you.” He felt the warmth of a strong hand around his bicep as the tall wiry man in front of him helped Jack out of the car. Dressed in mustard tweeds the old mans hair was a shock of white, sticking straight up from his head. He stood over 6 feet tall; vital and strong, only the deep lines on his face indicating his true age.

“Och, Master Jonny,” the man admonished in his gentle highland brogue. “What have ye gotten herself intay?”

Jack managed a sickly smile and then shook his head, feeling weak as a kitten. “I’ll be honest with you, Mac. Not feeling so good,” he muttered. “Need to take several Tylenol, lie down and throw up, probably not in that order.”

The man Jack had addressed as Mac threw Jack’s arm over his shoulder and walked him up the large stone steps with an ease that belied his advanced age. The huge doors to the castle stood open invitingly and Jack thought he had never been so pleased to be anywhere in his life.

“Let’s get ye awa’ ta yer bed and then I’ll get Maddy ta bring ye a cup o’ sweet tea.”

Jack simply nodded, too involved with the difficult task of keeping his stomach contents inside his body to fight whatever plans the old man had for him.

Within fifteen minutes Jack was ensconced in a large half tester bed that took up a corner of a very large room.  The furnishings were traditional; almost medieval in design and the room was decorated in dark reds and purples with rich, heavy fabrics draped at the windows and over the bed. It was obvious from the surroundings that it was normally occupied by more than one other person. There were clothes lying strewn across the large armchairs over by the stone fireplace and the bedside tables were scattered with tablet bottles, whiskey glasses and half used tubes of lube. Mac shook his head unhappily.

“I was going ta put ye in the Blue Room, but his Lordship insisted ye’d be more comfortable in here.” The white haired man pursed his lips in disdain. “Lord Simon is in Edinburgh for a day or so and Mr Davin left for London an hour ago and he won’t be back until tomorrow evening at the earliest.” He placed a kindly hand on Jack’s pale forehead and tutted. “Well ye dinna have a fever but I haven’t seen anyone such a fetching shade of green for quite a long while.”

Jack just groaned.

“Are ye sure ye did nay want me ta move ye to yer old room, Master Jonny?” the old man asked affectionately. Jack groaned again, this time more plaintively. “Very well,” Mac smiled. “Ginger tea for ye I’m thinking and probably a bit o’ dry toast. I’ll bring it up myself in a wee while.” He shook Jack gently to get his attention. “The bathroom is through there, I’d appreciate it if ye dinnae be sick in the bed or on the floor. Yon antique silk counterpanes cost a fortune ta clean. Maybe I should get ye a bucket in case ye’r not as spry as usual.”

“Mac, you’re an officer and a gentleman,” Jack moaned as he felt his stomach heave again. Without thinking he hefted himself from the bed and tripped across the rug strewn floor into the surprisingly modern bathroom. He made it to the toilet with barely a second to spare and threw his meager airline meal down the pan.  His belly ached with the effort of holding on for so long and he found himself retching over and over until the dry heaves threatened to strain his stomach muscles beyond pain. It was only with the utmost effort and a strong helping hand that he managed to get up off the floor and back to the bed. Mac’s cool hand once again smoothed over his forehead and Jack had to admit to finding it soothing. He drifted into an uncomfortable doze, aware that he was still wearing his coat and boots.

Mac turned in the doorway and gave a resigned shake of his snow-white head. “Och, laddie. We need ta get ye sorted out before yer man gets here.” With a wry smile he left a restless Jack to the pull of sleep.

******

Daniel stretched his legs and blessed the inspiration that had led him to use a little manipulation on the girl on the check-in at Dallas.

She had asked where he was going and he had smiled sadly. “I’m going to find my…” ‘My what?’ he'd thought morosely. ‘My lover? My boyfriend? My husband?’ How could he describe Jack? He'd been sick of having to hide who they really were to one another. ‘Ah, what the hell!’ he had admonished himself.  “My lover,” he’d stated firmly. “We had a fight.”

The blonde behind the desk had made an ‘awww’ face and asked where he was headed.

“I think he’s gone to a little place in the Scottish Highlands,” Daniel had told her, only flinching a little when he'd realized he had used a male pronoun. But the girl hadn't been fazed and said she thought it was romantic that Daniel was traveling half way around the world to ‘find his man’. Daniel had treated her to his most dazzling smile. Despite what Jack thought, Daniel was not blind to the devastating effect this particular expression had on women and, bestowing this special gift on Melissa at check-in had made her day and got him bumped up to business class.

Now he was comfortably ensconced in the wide business seat, revelling in the extra leg room and the separation from the noisy mayhem in coach. He needed the quiet just to concentrate. His mind was a whirlwind of ifs, buts and maybes. He had tried to make sense of all that had gone on only a few hours before, but it seemed as though those events had happened to someone else; somewhere else.

Daniel had thought carefully about what Izel had said regarding her visions. He was finding it hard to believe that Jack wouldn’t mention that he had ‘seen’ a spirit… vision… whatever, but then he had to admit they hadn't really been communicating that well over the last couple of days. Allying that to Jack’s continued illness and Daniel’s own disproportional jealousy it was getting harder and harder to pretend that there wasn't some outside influence at play. Daniel had almost made the decision to call the SGC when he'd realized it would mean he’d have to tell Hammond, Sam, Teal’s and Janet where they had been; together.

They had lied by omission, telling everyone they were going away for a week of their three week downtime. Most people had assumed Jack would take Daniel to the cabin and had given their condolences. Daniel gave a quiet snort. Despite the rumors he cultivated to the contrary, he loved it at the cabin. It was the one place in the States where he and Jack could truly be themselves. They would hire a light plane and Jack would fly them up to Minnesota. In just a few of hours they’d be safe in the back woods, lighting a fire in the hearth and making love under the stars on the pier.

Daniel was surprised to feel the gentle trickle of a tear as it ran down his cheek. Wiping it away he looked around him, blushing gently, but the placement of the seating meant he was not overlooked by anyone and he breathed a small sigh of relief. He couldn’t afford to get emotional. He would need all his wits about him to unravel the mysterious circumstances around both his and Jack’s behavior. Jack had not been through the Gate for over a month and since his fever Daniel had been fine, with no after effects from the spectacularly high temperature. Daniel didn’t want anyone at the mountain to know what a colossal fuckup their relationship was turning into, so, he was trying to convince himself that rather than being due to some malign alien influence, this whole mess was just a set of crappy – and highly improbable - coincidences. In reality he was simple too tired to look at it all too closely. Once he had sorted the misunderstanding out with Jack he would spend some time unravelling just what was going on.

Looking out of the small window at the huge white clouds below the speeding plane Daniel willed the pilot to make good time. There had been delays throughout his journey so far. A problem with refueling in Mexico had meant he was late for his connection at Fort Worth. That meant this was a much later flight than originally planned, although the upgrade had been a welcome pay-off from that. Daniel had checked with the airline and was relieved to find that his connection at Heathrow was still possible even with the later flight, so his actual arrival in Edinburgh would not be delayed. There were no flights from Wick, however, until the following morning so by the time he actually got to Glen Arach he would be 24 hours behind Jack.

Daniel felt a knot form in his stomach as he thought about what could be happening in that Castle in the Highlands right now: a fond reunion between Jack and his first love. Daniel scowled at his own faint reflection in the glass. The bitter taste of jealousy was a real tang in his mouth as he balled his fists in his lap and clenched his teeth. He couldn’t seem to get a handle on the breadth of his loathing for Lord Simon de’Vere. It was unlike Daniel to feel so strongly about someone he’d never met, but it was there nevertheless; a visceral, physical response and deep in his brain there was a voice that kept whispering how Jack was his and that no one was going to take him away. Daniel sighed deeply. He wasn’t even sure if it wasn't too late already. Had he lost Jack? Lost him to a misunderstanding and the inexplicable appearance of a phantom from Daniel’s past? Pulling off his glasses and sliding them into his shirt pocket he reclined his seat and squeezed his eyes shut against the incipient headache that was threatening to become something much more.

 

*****

While Daniel was trying to fathom meaning-of-life stuff thousands of feet in the air Jack was dealing with far more mundane issues. He’d slept fitfully for an hour or so, the lucid dreams of the last few days giving way to complex, nightmarish scenarios all involving the kids he had seen both sleeping and waking at La Troza. The visuals were disjointed and frightening and woke him in a lather of sweat, his heart thumping in his chest. As soon as his eyes opened Jack knew he wouldn’t make it all the way to the bathroom, but he tried anyway. He fell painfully to his knees at the bathroom doorway and managed to throw up yellow stinking bile all over the tile floor. Too wrung out to move he sat back on his haunches and wiped a shaking hand across his mouth. The smell was too much for his roiling belly and before he could lean forward again he retched and coughed, streaking the front of his coat, shirt and pants with noisome vomit. A gentle hand on his shoulder roused him from his miserable contemplation of the mess he had made.

“Och, Master Jonny.” Mac’s warm Scots brogue washed over Jack like a welcome friend. If Mac was here then all would be well. The old man was a constant here at Castle Blair and had dealt with Jack through a couple of the most embarrassing times of his young life. In the back of his mind he made a note to tell Daniel some of those stories before realizing that his lover was thousands of miles away. Jack wondered if Daniel was still in Mexico or if he had taken the opportunity to go back to his lover; Russ. Jack’s memory spat the name out with venom. He gave a little shiver of reaction as grief at the loss of his dreams for him and Daniel hit Jack hard. He wanted to rage and yell, but he was too weak to even lift his hands.

“Come now, young man,” Mac continued, unaware of the turmoil in Jack’s mind. “Let’s be getting ye out of yer clothes and back intay bed. I have ginger tea and toast for ye.”

Jack nodded weakly. “Shit, Mac. I’m sorry.”

“Whisht, think naything o’ it.” The old man slid his hands under Jack’s armpits and hauled him upright. He deftly stripped Jack of his soiled clothing and soaked a wash cloth in warm water whilst Jack sat naked and shivering slightly on the edge of the bed. With the ease of someone well used to caring for another he wiped Jack down with the cloth and then dried him off with a warm fluffy towel. Jack sighed in pleasure as the sticky grime was removed. When Mac returned to him after gathering the soiled laundry and placing it in a pile by the door Jack was already slumped in the bed, his head buried in the mound of pillows.

“Ye’ll catch yer death, ye daft man,” Mac admonished affectionately. Giving Jack a little push he rolled him fully into the bed and pulled the covers up to his waist. With lots of grunting and groaning Jack was eventually sitting up against the huge headboard of the thickly upholstered four poster bed with a tray of tea and toast on his lap.

“Ugh, Mac,” Jack grimaced. “I’m not sure I can eat any of this.”

“Now, I don’t want ta hear any of yer blather. You’ll eat it and be grateful it’s not Maddy herself who’s here.” Mac raised his bushy eyebrows. “You dinna be wanting that now do ye?”

Jack shook his head a little more emphatically than was prudent and had to shut his eyes for a moment to stop the world from spinning. “No,” he agreed fervently. “How is the canny old fish wife anyway?”

Mac grinned at Jack’s longstanding nickname for the cook and house keeper at the castle. “She’s well, ye cheeky bugger; although that’s more than ye’ll be if ye don’t get that down yer throat.”

Jack lifted the cup of tea to his lips with a trembling hand. Damn it, but he felt like a kid, staying home sick from school. Mac had always made him feel like that. If Jack could’ve chosen a dad then it would have been Mac. 

Jack looked over at the old man as he moved around the room, emptying Jack’s pant’s pockets of his cell, wallet and loose change placing it all on the bedside table. Gordon McGregor looked exactly the same as he had over 30 years ago. Jack realized with a start that the old fella must be over eighty by now and yet, in some ways, he looked like Jack’s contemporary.  Only the deep lines around his eyes and mouth gave a clue to his real age. Mac still stood tall and strong and moved with the grace of a man well versed in being unobtrusive. Jack had always thought Mac carried himself like a trained soldier. His movements were graceful and economic. The man could be preternaturally quiet and acknowledging that fact was the ultimate accolade from Jack, for whom stealth was a matter of professional pride. It also seemed there wasn’t anything Mac couldn't turn his hand to; from managing the household to stripping down a shotgun, he made everything look easy. 

He had always treated Jack with a respectful affection Jack had found difficult to understand at first. Not being used to household servants and the vagaries of the aristocratic and feudal class system, Jack had been ill at ease with the expectations of the servants in the house. Still, Jack’s charm and quirky wit had quickly made him a firm favorite with the staff at the castle. Even Simon’s father, a dour, severe man, had warmed to him and his place in his son and heir's bed. Lord Douglas had long accepted that Simon would be the last of the line, given his sexuality and his particular personality. Simon had told Jack there were boys in a distant cousin’s line that would probably inherit when he died and so Jack’s lover didn’t feel too bad that he wasn’t able to offer his father the ‘heir and a spare’ he would have liked.

Coming back to Castle Blair was like returning home for Jack and considering that he had actually only spent the equivalent of a month there during his year with Simon that was really quite an achievement. There was warmth here amongst the cold gray stones and snow capped mountains that was missing in many other places Jack had spent time.

Once again his mind drifted to Daniel. The archaeologist would love the Castle and surrounding area; the anthropologist would be beside himself with glee at the history of the building and its inhabitants; the linguist would wallow in the rich culture of the Gaelic language. Jack felt a deep well of sadness open up in his heart as he considered that he’d probably lost his young lover to someone else. He allowed himself to wallow a little, letting his illness and tiredness take him to a dark place. He considered what Russ would be like; younger than Jack, no doubt, without the gray hair and scarred body that was constantly threatening to let him down. Russ would have the stamina of youth, unlike Jack who felt way past his prime. This young, good looking man appeared fully formed in Jack’s mind and he hated him. The force of his anger soon tempered to sadness again when he realized that whoever this man was, he could give Daniel something Jack couldn’t; an open and honest relationship without hiding and lying and pretending. Jack couldn’t even let Daniel have a photograph of him fercryinoutloud. Jack’s shoulders slumped and he slammed the teacup down a little more forcefully than he meant to.

“Hey now,” Mac chided. “Be careful with yon china, laddie. It’s not the best Meissen but ‘tis not the kitchen pots either.”

Jack winced apologetically. “Sorry, Mac I’m just not feeling the best right now, ya know?”

“Aye, laddie I know.” Mac said kindly as he pulled the tray off Jack’s lap and moved it to the coffee table before returning to sit on the edge of the bed and training his gimlet eyes on the ailing man.

“So…” Mac raised his eyebrows questioningly. “Not that I’m not pleased ta see ye after all these years but ye’ve come an awful long way; from Mexico no less?”

Jack looked surprised and then realized that he hadn’t let anyone know he was coming. So why had the car been waiting for him at Wick Airport? “Mac, how do you know where I flew in from?”

“Now, that’ll be a wee birdie called Izel,” Mac smiled.

Jack gave a small nod. Okay, so that solved that little puzzle. “She is a very insightful woman,” he commented wryly.

“Och, Jonny. Ye don’t know the half of it.” Mac replied cryptically. He knew Daniel was on his way, following after the man he loved, and the old man had decided that he wouldn’t let Jack know that quite yet. He wasn’t sure how far behind Jack the younger man was or what the problem between them had been, but from the little he had gleaned from Izel the two of them were a match made in heaven and he for one was not going to let Jack mess that up. Mac had spent the last 20 years watching Simon go from one relationship to another, always searching for the one thing he couldn’t have; Jonathon O’Neill.

Mac despaired of his master ever finding true love again and Davin Garvin, the latest in the long line of hangers on and reprobates, was probably the worst so far. The old man had promised Maddy that they would dance a jig the day that young man got his marching orders. However, the male model knew when he was on to a good thing and he had cleverly got his hooks deeply into Simon. Mac sneered a little at the unpleasant thought of that one being around for a good while yet.

Jack caught sight of his cell sitting on the bedside table where Mac had placed it. Reaching over he flipped it open and was surprised to see 9 missed calls flagged on the screen. Keying in the number for his answering service he listened with a heavy heart as Daniel’s voice pleaded with him over and over again.

_“Jack, please…I need to talk to you. Something about all this just doesn’t make sense. Please, baby, just give me a call so we can talk about it. I love you.”_

The sadness was evident in his lover’s voice and Jack ached to hold Daniel. The pain and anger of betrayal was overlaid with grief for the loss of him. It took no imagination at all for jack to conjure the lush curve of his lips, the smoothness of his skin and the blue, bluest, endless blue of his eyes. Jack looked down to see his finger hovering over speed-dial 1 – Daniel - but his pride wouldn’t let him make the connection. He knew the second he'd hear Daniel’s voice he would be prepared to forgive him and Jack didn’t feel very forgiving right now. “Perhaps tomorrow,” he murmured to himself and flipped the cover closed, throwing the phone back onto the bedside cabinet.

He looked up to see Mac watching him knowingly.

“So, do ye want ta talk about it?” the Scot offered gently.

Jack felt warmth bloom around his heart. The old man really was special. “Not right now, Mac, although I may take you up on the offer when I feel a bit more human.” Jack sighed deeply. “I’m just tired and there’s stuff I need to think about first.”

Mac nodded kindly and patted Jack’s leg. “Well, ye know where I am when ye decide ye’r ready.” The man stood gracefully with no sign of stiffness and Jack felt a pang of jealousy.

“You must have thirty years on me you old bastard and your knees are like a teenagers. How do you do it?” he grumped. 

Mac barked out a laugh. “That’ll be the spoonful of honey on my porridge in the morning and the wee dram o’ whiskey at night. That and clean living.” The old man grinned as Jack scooted down the bed with a disgruntled, “Yeah, right.” Closing his eyes Jack gently drifted off trying not to notice the flash of bright blue eyes that were his companions into sleep.

*****

By the time Daniel had retrieved his luggage from the carousel at London Heathrow it was nearly 1.00 am. Wearily he made his way across the concourse to the reception of the Hotel Sofitel. The bored looking receptionist behind the desk looked up at him and brightened considerably at the sight of his handsome, if very tired face.

“I have a reservation. Name of Jackson. Dr Daniel Jackson.”

The girl tapped at the computer for a moment and then shook her head. “I’m sorry, sir. I have no reservation in that name.”

Daniel felt his stomach fall. “I booked early yesterday, on the internet.” He began to search his laptop bag for the print-out he knew he had placed there so many hours before. He didn’t need this hassle. He wanted a bed and a meal and a glass – no make that a bottle – of wine. So it was with relief that he located the proof of his booking and handed it over the desk.

“This booking is for yesterday, sir. If you don’t book in before midnight the booking lapses,” the young woman explained apologetically. She tapped at the keyboard some more and gave Daniel a reassuring smile. “I’ll see if the room is still available.”

“My flight was delayed,” Daniel explained, hating that he was beginning to sound slightly whiny. “I don’t mind what type of room, anything will do,” he pleaded.

“We have an executive double or a suite sir. Both include breakfast.”

“I’ll take the double please and I’d like a call in the morning – 8.30 am should do it, my flight is at 11.30 am. I won’t want breakfast, but I will need a pot of coffee…Oh, and the Times please.” Daniel sighed with relief as the woman nodded. He handed over his credit card and signed in.

Shouldering his luggage he followed the directions given by the young woman and, after a tussle with the room’s electric lock, he flopped thankfully onto the large bed. Covering his eyes with his arm he finally let himself feel the sorrow that had been weighing him down. He never would have guessed only two days ago that he would find himself chasing Jack halfway across the globe or that a paradise like La Troza could so quickly turn into a nightmare.

He felt a sting as his cell dug into his butt where it was pushed into his pants pocket. He knew it hadn’t rung, he’d checked it every hour since he left the beach house, but he had to look again; it was almost a compulsion. No new messages, not even a text message. Daniel resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room opting to drop it from his hand and setting it bouncing on the mattress. He couldn’t help feeling angry with Jack. It didn’t matter how pissed his lover was with him; the least Jack could do was let him know he was OK. Despite Izel’s assurances about where Jack was headed, Daniel couldn’t help worrying that he'd get to Glen Arach and find he had been on a wild goose chase.

His whole body ached from the traveling and the tension, but there was also an emotional ache; a physical need for Jack; his hard toned body, that silver hair and those melting brown eyes. Daniel couldn’t help remembering the cold fury reflected in Jack’s eyes when he had left the island. Jack really believed that Daniel had called for another man while they were in the throes of sex.  But it wasn’t just that. Jack had seen something; something impossible.

Daniel was sure if he could just talk to Jack he could get him to see there was more going on; that he had never and would never betray the older man. Jack was his life, his heart. There was no one who could even come close to replacing him. Daniel just needed to find his lover and convince him and there would be nothing easy about that. The puzzling thing was that Daniel had never told Jack about Russ, in fact Daniel had forgotten about him completely. Had Jack picked up a stray subconscious thought? Daniel shook his head. He hadn’t thought of Russ Bialovic for a very long time. There was nothing about Jack or the position they were using that would have jarred even the vaguest memory of Daniel’s first long term lover out of his brain. Also, Daniel knew that people joked about Jack and him having a sort of telepathy, and god knows they’d seen some strange things through the gate, but for Jack to just pull that name out of thin air was beyond weird.

A loud growl from his belly jerked Daniel out of his contemplation. Although he was almost too tired to be bothered Daniel knew he needed to eat. Rubbing at his tired stinging eyes he sat up and reached for the telephone.

“Room Service. Can I help you?”

“Yes. I’m in room 243. Could I have a cheese and ham sandwich and some chips…”Daniel stopped, ‘You’re in England now, Jackson,’ he reminded himself. “Sorry, crisps. Ready Salted if you have them and…” Daniel quickly rummaged around on the desk and found the wine list.  He quickly scanned the red wines and decided to splurge. “I’ll have a bottle of the Volnay Premiere Cru Les Chevrets 2004 Jean Boillot.” It was over £75 a bottle, but he didn’t care. He felt like crap and wanted a buzz; he might as well enjoy the method of getting it. He really wanted coffee, too, but knew if he started now he wouldn’t sleep. He really wanted the oblivion more than the caffeine fix so decided against it.

“Yes sir. No problem. It’ll be with you in 15 minutes,” the room service attendant promised cheerily and hung up.

While he waited for his food Daniel pulled his wash bag from his luggage and took it into the bathroom. He unzipped the bag and left it on the counter. The small room was well appointed; the walls and floor tiled with marble, a double sink and a large walk in shower.  Daniel dialled the water to the hottest temperature and left it running while he went back into the bedroom to dig out something to sleep in from his suitcase. With a pang of sadness he found he’d accidentally packed an old Air Force T-shirt that Jack used for sleeping and lounging in. Pressing it to his nose he realized that Jack must have worn it recently; it smelled of a mixture of soap, deodorant and the unique male musk of Jack O’Neill. Daniel felt his throat close as the scent brought his lover to the forefront of his mind. He needed Jack so badly that his arms hurt from the wanting.

A knock at his door broke the spell and he moved quickly to open it, allowing his food order to be delivered. The waiter deftly uncorked the wine and placed a wine glass and the plate of food on the small table along with a large bottle of mineral water and a tumbler.

“Your order is complete, sir. The water is complimentary. Do you need anything else?”

Daniel shook his head, gave the waiter a generous tip and closed the door behind him.

There was no rush as the food was cold so Daniel decided to shower before eating. He deftly stripped off his grubby, travel stained clothes and pushed them into his suitcase. Grabbing the neatly folded towelling robe from the bed he stepped into the cubicle and let the needle sharp flow of steaming water pummel his back. He stood for long minutes, his hands braced against the wall, his head hanging between his shoulders as the hot shower began to lessen some of the tension in his muscles. 

After a while he reached over and grabbed the bottle of shower gel from his wash bag. He’d emptied a large dollop into his hand before he realised that this, too, was Jack’s. He laughed out loud and was surprised to hear a faint tinge of hysteria. ‘Can’t leave you behind, Jack,’ he thought to himself. ‘Can’t even pack a bag without subconsciously bringing you with me.’ The shower filled with the familiar scent and Daniel couldn’t help the hot tears that joined the water as it cascaded over his tired body. Too weary to fight any longer Daniel washed his body and hair, rinsed and got out of the shower. Wrapping himself in the thick cotton gown, he dried his hair with a towel and then hung it around his neck as he moved back out into the bedroom.

Daniel lifted the wine bottle from the table and read the label. It really was a pretty special bottle. He poured a generous glass of the deep red wine and took a long drink. It was delicious **,** but Daniel was too tired and heartsick to really savor the subtleties. He quickly downed the rest of the glass and poured another. Wondering if he should’ve asked for two bottles he listlessly picked at the sandwich and chips, aware that he should really eat to soak up some of the alcohol, but finding everything just tasted like cardboard. Still he forced most of the sandwich down and made short work of his second glass of wine. He could already feel the buzz and he welcomed it, hoping that it would help him at least get a little sleep, even if it was alcohol induced.

Placing the wine and the bottled water next to the bed Daniel shrugged out of the damp robe and slipped on soft cotton sleep pants and Jack’s shirt. The warmth of his skin made the scent of Jack billow around him and once again he found himself choked up. Miserable to his very core he turned off the lights, crawled into the bed and flicked on the TV.  There was a rerun of the classic British TV series ‘I Claudius’ starring Derek Jacobi, and Daniel let the intrigues and dramas of the Roman Caesars play in the background as he steadily made his way through the bottle of wine, much more quickly than the excellent vintage deserved. But these were desperate times.

As the TV droned in the background Daniel downed the last of the ruby liquid and the alcohol allowed his aching body, tired mind, and grieving heart a little rest. As his heavy eyelids fell shut he saw the flash of deepest dark brown and chased the memory of the eyes of his lover into sleep.


	9. Through A Glass, Darkly IX

Daniel sighed as he watched the luggage being unloaded from the small short-hop plane. His eyes burned from the dry, stale air during the flight and the almost sleepless night he had spent in his hotel room. The flight to Edinburgh had left on time, but the connection via the tiny airline to Wick had been delayed by bad weather. They didn’t call them the Highlands for nothing; the flight had been a dizzying hour in buffeting winds beside purple crags. It was only 5.00 pm but already the sun was leaving the sky and the bright floodlights washed the single runway with bluish light.

Dragging his hands across his tired eyes he made his way to the baggage collection area. No slick carousel for this tiny place, just a truck and two very helpful handlers. Quicker than usual he found himself in possession of his luggage and on his way to the entrance. With a groan he realized he had no transport and that the terminal (if you could call the tiny building in the middle of nowhere such a grand name) had no rental counter. He stepped out into the filthy night and turned up his collar against the gusting wind, hoping for at least a taxi rank. After a cursory look around he had almost resigned himself to spending the night in the building behind him when his duffle was taken from his hands.

“Hey…” he yelled, whirling on the spot to identify the thief.

“Dr Jackson?”  The man holding his bag was wearing a smart, dark chauffeur’s uniform complete with cap and was smiling pleasantly despite the driving rain.

“Um, yes,” Daniel stammered. He wasn’t really sure what was going on, but was more than a little relieved to see the man motion towards the big, sleek, vintage Rolls Royce parked on the road next to them.

“I’ve to take ye awa’ ta Castle Blair, sir,” the man said courteously, indicating that Daniel should follow him.  Daniel felt a little overawed as the driver pulled open the door for him and waited as he slid inside. Dazed, Daniel watched as his bag was deposited in the trunk of the car. The driver settled into his seat and removed his cap, placing it on the passenger seat.

“I’ll have ta ask ye to belt up, sir. Only it’s the law here.”

Daniel was a little nonplussed until he realized the man was telling him to fasten his seat belt and not to shut up as it had first sounded. The whole scene was so surreal. Daniel found himself giving a snort of laughter.

“Erm…Not that I’m complaining or anything, but how did you know I was here?” Daniel asked, puzzled at the miraculous appearance of the luxurious car and liveried driver.

“Mr McGregor knew ye were coming, sir. I was told ta collect ye.” The driver pulled out of the small parking lot with studied ease. “I apologise that ye got wet, but when yer flight was delayed I went into the village for some supplies for Ms Maddy. I was held up on the top road by a tractor and I’m afraid I was wee bit late.” The man sounded contrite without being obsequious and Daniel was enchanted by the soft burr of his accent.

“Well, considering I wasn’t expecting you at all, you’re a very welcome surprise,” Daniel commented wryly.

“We’ll be at the Castle in just about twenty minutes, tractors permitting,” the chauffeur grinned.

Daniel smiled back and looked out of the window.  The sun was almost gone from the sky now and the lowering clouds made everything look dark and rather mysterious. He could feel the cold drops of water dripping from his hair making their way down the collar of his shirt and he shivered.

“I’ve turned up the heat, Dr Jackson, but I’m afraid auld Bessie here is not equipped with all yon mod cons so we’ll probably be at the Castle before ye feel tha benefit.”

“What’s your name?” Daniel asked, uncomfortable with addressing the back of the man’s head.

“I’m Tam, sir.” The young man lifted his eyes to the rear view mirror and glanced at his passenger. Daniel was struck by how green the driver’s eyes were and the smile he could see in them.

“Well, Tam,” Daniel sighed, “I’m just glad to be somewhere dry. I thought I was going to have to walk.”

Tam snorted. “Ach, Mr Mac wouldn’t allow that, sir. Not for Master Jonny’s friend.”

Daniel’s stomach turned over in relief. Master Jonny…Jack. That meant Izel had been right and Jack was here, didn’t it? Still unsure he felt he had to ask.

“Jack O’Neill…I mean Master Jonny is at the Castle then?” he asked nervously.

Tam shook his head and Daniel felt his heart stop with disappointment. “Nay, sir. I dinna know. I was just told ta collect ye from Wick and I overheard Mr Mac telling Ms Maddy that I was going to collect Mr Jonny’s friend.” The man looked up again, meeting Daniel’s worried gaze.  “I’ve only been at the Castle for just over a year, so I don’t know everyone who visits.”

Daniel nodded and looked back out of the window. It was now so dark that all he could see was his own pale, sad reflection looking back at him. He felt suddenly so very tired and beaten. If Jack wasn’t here then that would mean he had gone back to the Springs. Daniel gritted his teeth against the sadness he felt. By the time he made it back there, too much time would have passed and no matter how hard he tried he wouldn’t be able to get Jack to see that he had made a mistake of epic proportions.

Sighing he pulled his cell out of his pocket needing to check just once more that there were no messages waiting for him, but there was no signal.

“I’m afraid yon mobile phones don’t work on the Tops here, sir, although it mebbe will once ye get to the house,” Tam informed him. “It’s the Old Man and his Wife. They cause too much interference.”

“The Old Man?” Daniel asked, confused.

“Aye,” Tam explained, motioning through the windscreen. “Yon crags. That’s what they’re known as around here.”

Daniel followed the pointed finger and made out the dark shapes of two mountains silhouetted against the sky on either side of the roadway.  “Bodach ar Bean” he murmured.

“You speak the Ghàidhlig?” Tam looked impressed.

Daniel smiled wanly. “I’m a linguist. It’s what I do for a living, amongst other things.”

“There are nay so many native speakers anymore, sir, so it’s a surprise when a visitor like yersel’ can speak it and with such a bonny accent.”

Daniel nodded. “It’s such a shame. It’s a beautiful language.”  He was about to say more when the car took a wide arc and the imposing sight of Castle Blair came into view. Its gray stone walls were picked out by floodlighting and the ancient building glistened in the rain.  Daniel had seen a lot of buildings in his years as an archaeologist both on and off world, but he found his breath taken by the sheer powerful beauty of the Castle. As the car made the final approach to the house the massive wooden doors were thrown open and a tall, silver haired man with a large umbrella came striding out to meet them.

As soon as the car came to a standstill the door was pulled open and Daniel was staring into pale gray eyes.

“Dr Jackson. Welcome, welcome. I hope young Tam was not too late collecting ye from Wick, ye look a little bedraggled there, laddie.”

Daniel saw Tam wince at the harsh stare that was thrown at the young driver. “No, no,” he reassured the older man. “Tam was right there when I needed him.”

“Och! Well, that’s gud then. Follow me, sir and we’ll get ye in the dry.”

With that Daniel felt a firm hand around his bicep and he was drawn out under the shelter of the umbrella for the ten steps from the car to the hallway of the house. The man pushed the wet cover into a large elephant’s foot umbrella stand in the hall way and then turned, drawing the strap of Daniel’s laptop case over his shoulder.

“Now, let’s get ye in front of yon fire.” He led the way into a grand reception room that had a roaring fire in a massive fireplace. Two large wing armchairs were situated either side along with footstools.  A large coat of arms sat above the mantle, the muted tones of the paint telling of its age.

“Triùir a thig gun iarraidh – gaol, eud is eagal.” Daniel read the words from the fancy scrollwork that threaded through the claws of a griffon rampant over green and black chevrons. “Three that come unbidden – love, jealousy and fear.” Daniel felt a little shiver as the translated words chimed with the churning of his stomach. His love for Jack had sent him racing half way around the globe after jealousy on both their parts had driven them apart. Now fear seemed to be his constant companion.  The warmth of a large hand on his shoulder made him start a little and he looked around.

“Ye’re a very clever young man,” the old man nodded sagely. “Not many can read and speak the Ghàidhlig and with such a good accent too.”

Daniel blushed a little at the repeat of the compliment he’d first heard from Tam. “I studied Linguistics and Philology at Oxford under Professor McMillan. He was…”

“…The foremost expert in Gaelic history and language in the world. Aye, laddie, and a regular visitor here for many a year before he died. He and his Lordship had a fair few spirited conversations right here at yon settle.”

The old man smiled broadly at Daniel’s surprised expression. “But wheesht, I’ve been remiss. My name is Gordon McGregor and I’m general factotum here at Castle Blair. Anything ye need, I’m the man ta ask.”

“Well, actually, Mr McGregor…”

“Master Jonny calls me Mac and I’m thinking ye should do the same.” Mac smiled fondly at the startled young man. 

Daniel’s mouth dried as he realized who Mac meant. “Jack…I mean Master Jonny…Is he here?” At the old man’s nod Daniel’s knees went weak under him and he sat with a thump on the nearest foot stool. “Oh, thank God,” he whispered, almost fainting with relief.

“Now, now Dr Jackson…”

“Daniel.” The younger man said quietly as he pushed his trembling hands between his knees.

“Daniel,” Mac repeated, giving a squeeze to Daniel’s shoulder. “I think ye’ve had a long journey and, by the look of ye, not much good food in the past few days. How about I ask Maddy ta make ye up a tray and we’ll have it sent ta yer room.”

“No…I mean…” Daniel struggled to his feet. “Thank you that would be lovely, but…”

“You’d like ta see yer man first, am I right?” the old man asked, his expression gentle. At Daniel’s fervent nod Mac began to lead him out of the room and up the wide sweeping staircase onto the first floor.

“He’s in His Lordships room,” Mac explained as he pushed open a heavy wooden door to show the darkened room within. But Daniel didn’t hear him.  All he saw, lit by a small reading lamp on the bedside table, was a huge bed containing the unmistakeable shape of Jack O’Neill, spread-eagled on his belly, his face mashed into a pile of pillows. Daniel took a step inside the room as his eyes took their fill of the long lean back and rangy arms. The covers were tucked at the base of his spine just before the swell of his ass and Daniel thought Jack was the most beautiful sight. He felt his heart start beating again and warmth flowing through his veins. He hadn’t realized how cold he was, how frozen he had felt since Jack had got on the boat at La Troza and sailed away from him. The young man took another step inside and was about to call out when his awareness of the room suddenly made its way into his consciousness. Clothes that were not Jack’s were strewn around on the floor and over furniture; two glasses, one still containing what looked like whiskey, sat forgotten on the little table in front of a flickering fireplace. The bedside tables were littered with pill bottles and half used tubes of lube. Daniel stumbled and almost fell to his knees, only the quick reflexes of the old man behind him preventing him from crashing to the floor.

Unsure what had caused the young man’s reaction Mac looked around the room with a puzzled gaze. The reality of what the young lad had seen hit the older man like a body blow. ‘Och. Master Simon. I knew ye were self absorbed but I never thought ye were capable of this kind of underhand trick.’ Thinking back to his employer’s instructions before he left for Edinburgh, Mac realized that this little scene had been arranged for just this eventuality and that he had been the dupe used to set it all up.  Mac gritted his jaw, his displeasure at the underhandedness of Lord Simon making him angrier by the second. He was shocked out of his thoughts by Daniel pushing past him blindly. Sighing deeply, he covered Jack with the counterpane and turned to follow his other guest back down the stairs.

By the time Mac reached him Daniel had retrieved his luggage and was making his way toward the large outer doors of the Castle.

“Och, laddie. Where do ye think yer goin’? It’s a filthy night oot there and a long walk ta the village.” As the young man turned to face him, Gordon was shocked to see the look of total despair on Daniel’s face.

“I’m sorry, Mr McGregor. I’ve…I’ve made a big mistake. I’m too late don’t you see…”

Mac placed his warm hands on Daniel’s shoulders. “Now, laddie, ye should be in yon Olympics with all the conclusions yer jumping to.”

“I know what I saw, and I think it’s obvious that I won’t be welcome in this house. I should leave.”

Mac watched as the deep blue eyes filled with tears and the older man knew he couldn’t let Daniel go, not without explaining a few things to him. “Please, Daniel, will ye come with me. I think I have some things ye might need to hear.” Gordon watched as a battle was fought in Daniel’s eyes. He could see the younger man didn’t want to leave, that he wanted nothing more than to slide into the big bed upstairs next to the man he loved. Mac was determined that he would get to the bottom of what was going on with Daniel and Jack and with Lord Simon. He saw the moment when Daniel decided he couldn’t leave, felt the tension go out of his muscles and took advantage of that to turn Daniel and walk him down the corridor.

After several twists and turns in narrow dark corridors Daniel found himself in a small sitting room. Mac pulled the bags from Daniels tense fingers and pushed him down into a comfortable armchair next to a small hearth. Mac left him for a few moments and then returned with two glasses and a large bottle of whiskey. He poured a generous amount into each glass and then pressed one into Daniel’s trembling hand.

With a small sigh Mac sat in the chair opposite and watched as Daniel took a tentative sip of the pale golden liquid. As the warming liquor chased away some of the shock Daniel looked over at Mac and smiled wanly.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized softly.  “I’ve made a real fool of myself. If I could stay here tonight…?”

“Well, of course ye’ll be staying here. Master Jonny would never forgive me if I let ye leave before he could see ye,” the old man said kindly.

Daniel shook his head sadly. “I don’t think Ma…Jack is going to be pleased to see me.”

“And why on earth not?” the old man asked with a smile. “Do ye not love him?”

Daniel looked up in surprise. “I…I…” He took another sip of his drink. “Yes, with all my heart,” he whispered into his glass.

Mac stood and lifted a heavy silver photo frame down from the high mantle above the fireplace. He handed the picture to Daniel and then sat back down. Daniel studied the frame first, recognizing it as a piece of Arts and Crafts silver from the early part of the 20th century. Its curving ornamentation was stylish and elegant. Daniel ran a finger along the stylized flowers etched into its surface. Then he was caught by the aged photograph it contained. A handsome young man in uniform smiled out at him. The picture was black and white, but had been colored in, ‘by hand’ Daniel thought, his archivist’s sensibilities coming to the fore. The man wore a RAF uniform and Daniel recognized it as belonging to WWII.

Looking up at the old man Daniel tried to make a connection between the man in the photograph and Mac.

“His name was Gordon, too,” Mac said, his voice tinged with sadness and regret.

“Oh,” Daniel nodded, still thinking furiously. ‘So not a brother, and he’s too old to have been Mac’s son.’ Daniel turned questioning eyes to the older man whose features had gone soft as he gazed at the frame still clutched in Daniel’s hands.

Mac gave a little chuckle. “If I told ye we were known as the Gay Gordons **,** would that give ye a clue?”

“Oh,” Daniel repeated. “OH!”

“Aye, laddie. He was ma lover.” Mac folded himself gracefully back into the armchair and took an appreciative sip of the liquor in his glass.

“It was a hard time to be queer,” he continued without rancor. “Ye think ye have it hard now, Master Daniel, with yer ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ **,** but we could have been jailed or worse just for wishing ta be with another man.” Mac sighed deeply. “There were ways of course, clubs ye could go ta but they were mostly in the big cities of the South. We were condemned ta quiet, sordid rendezvous in back rooms.”

Daniel winced in commiseration. He knew how it felt to have to hide, but at least the times had changed enough that there were places where gay and bi men and women could be themselves without fear of the law.

“I was’nae brave enough and I let him go.” Mac‘s hand tightened around his glass and he scowled at the contents. “He went awa’ ta the war and was killed within 10 minutes of his first flight with his squadron.” He turned to Daniel, the tears in his eyes shining in the firelight. “I sent him ta his death without telling him I loved him.”

There was such pain in the old man’s posture that **,** despite hardly knowing him, Daniel felt a strong pull to console him. Placing his glass on the hearth he slid to his knees in front of Mac and wound his arms around the old man’s shoulders. “He knew, Mac. I’m sure he knew.”

The old man allowed the embrace for a moment or two before drawing back and looking deeply into Daniel’s eyes. Daniel felt as if he was being judged, although not in a harsh blaming way, just that his character was being weighed by this venerable man.

“Aye, Daniel. Perhaps ye’re right,” he sighed sadly. “And if I’m not mistaken yer Jack knows it too.”

Daniel shook his head and leaned back on his heels, absently studying the photo he still held in his hands. “Something happened in Mexico, Mac. I’m not even sure what it was. But I think this could be the end for Jack and me.” Daniel looked up again at the old man and shrugged. “What am I supposed to think? I come all this way only to find him in another man’s bed, surrounded by evidence that he never really loved me like he said he did.” Feeling heartsick and bone tired Daniel slid back up onto the chair and, snagging the glass from the hearth, took a long swig of the smooth, peaty liquor.

Mac smiled and gave a little shrug. “Master Jonny tells me ye’re an archaeologist. Is that right?”

Daniel nodded, wondering when Jack had spoken to Mac about him.

Mac seemed to pick up on his confusion. “Och, Master Jonny and I have written letters, real letters not that blasted email stuff, ta each other for the last twenty five years. I probably know more about ye than I do about Lord Simon and I’ve known him since he was born.” Mac snorted at Daniel’s look of shocked surprise. “But we digress,” he continued. “When ye first get ta a dig site what do ye do? Do ye get straight in there and dig holes?”

Daniel’s eyebrows rose in shock. “NO!” he retorted sharply before realizing how rude he was being. “Um, sorry Mac. I’m a little jet lagged and that makes me cranky,” he apologized with a smile.

Mac was captivated by the shy beauty of the man in front of him. The passion for his subject had been obvious in that one short interjection and his blue eyes had blazed. Mac had seen that look before in the eyes of both his lover and of Jack and Simon when they spoke about flying and their love of the skies. “So…” he encouraged Daniel to continue.

“So…I would survey the site first. Look for any clues as to where we should dig, any surface indicators…anything to give me an idea about the story the site has to tell.” Daniel, as usual, was enthused by his subject, but more than a little confused about what all this had to do with Jack having slept with Simon.

“Ahh,” Mac nodded. “So imagine yon bedroom upstairs. What did you see there? What story did it tell?”

Daniel’s teeth clenched in jealous anger. What did this old man want? He knew what a fool he’d been to come here and now all his worst fears were reality.

“Mac, I’m sorry, but I don’t know what you want from me,” Daniel spat out in frustration.

“Nay, laddie. There’ll be none of yon histrionics if ye please,” Mac said firmly. “Humor this old man and tell me,” he encouraged.

Daniel sighed and looked into the fire, not seeing the flames but the picture of Jack in another man’s bed that was seared into his retinas like an indelible tattoo.

“Jack, naked in bed,” he ground out, holding on to his glass of whiskey like a lifeline. “Clothes that weren’t Jack’s. L…Lu…Lube on the nightstand,” he choked out not wanting to believe what his eyes had told him. “Whiskey glass on the table.” He shot a look at the old man in front of him. “ **Two** glasses,” he corrected, his heart breaking at the implication of the evidence. ‘Perhaps he wants me to realize that I’ve lost,’ he thought to himself. “I don’t know how this is supposed to be helping,” he muttered churlishly.

“Och, boy. Fer a clever man ye’r being a proper eedjit.” Mac reached over and shook Daniel’s shoulder gently. “I’ll admit there’s a deal of circumstantial evidence but ye’ve missed one vital detail.” Mac raised his bushy gray eyebrows and Daniel could see a twinkle in them that warmed him and gave him hope. “Unless ye think Master Jonny went ta bed with me - which, I must say forty years ago wud’nae been outside the realms of possibility, as he’s a very handsome man – then where is this lover ye think yer man has had?” Gordon spread a large hand out in front of him and waited.

Daniel couldn’t make his heart stop palpitating. He had given up hope when he had surveyed the scene in Simon’s bedroom and now Mac was giving him that hope back. “Simon could be here somewhere. It’s a big castle,” Daniel replied, hoping against hope that he was wrong.

“Aye, that it is, Master Daniel, but believe me when I tell ye that his Lordship left for Edinburgh before yer man got here. Mr Davin, however,” the old man gave a grimace of disgust, “that young man got oot of yon bed just a couple o’ hours before Master Jonny arrived. There was no time ta change the bed and the poor bairn was so sick when he arrived, I dinna have the heart ta make him wait.”

The look of relief on Daniel’s face made Mac smile broadly. Daniel sank back into the armchair, letting out a long breath. “I thought…”

“Aye, I know what ye thought,” Mac agreed. “It was what ye were meant ta think.” Mac scowled at the implication. “I think Lord Simon knew if Jack was awa’ here then ye wud not be far behind. That little scene was set up ta have just the effect it did and I was used ta make it happen.” Mac emptied his glass, his anger at his employer’s duplicity obvious in the hard twist of his mouth. “Now, I don’t like being used, especially not ta hurt Master Jonny and I get the impression that, no matter what has happened between ye, anything that hurts ye hurts him deeply.  So I ask ye again, Daniel Jackson, do ye love that man upstairs?”

“Oh God, yes.” Daniel felt his stomach clench at the depth of love he felt for Jack. “I’ve come half way around the world to tell him that I love him.”

“And will ye fight for him?” Mac asked fiercely, although he could see from Daniel’s face that it was a moot question. “For I think ye may have ta. Lord Simon is a stubborn, spoiled man, used ta getting his own way,” Mac shook his head in disappointment, “using ways that are beneath him it seems.”

Daniel looked confused. “Mac, I don’t understand. What have I done to Simon…Erm His Lordship? I’ve never even met him.”

“Ye took his man, laddie,” Gordon explained. “For the nine or ten months he was with Master Jonny he was as happy as I’ve ever seen him and we all fell in love with Master Jonny, too.” Mac’s eyes crinkled at the corners as he smiled broadly. “Jack only came here twice, but yer man makes an impression.”

Daniel had to smile. Oh yes that was his Jack.

“E’er since then Master Simon has never settled for anyone. His fayther realized there was never going ta be another Lord Granville from his line and so he let the young master have a very loose leash. Since the auld man died there has been a procession of young men…Some very young,” Mac explained disapprovingly, “But nothing lasting. As soon as they get close he shows them the door.”

Daniel felt sadness for Simon’s lost chance, but there was an ember of anger burning in his gut that said no matter how sorry he felt for Simon, the man had no right to have Jack back at his expense.

“I’ll fight…Simon is nothing compared to some of the sna…people I’ve met since I’ve worked with Jack.” Daniel set his jaw, his expression determined. “They all underestimate me, Mr McGregor, and that’s their downfall. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to get Jack back.”

The beaming smile Mac turned on him made Daniel feel ten feet tall.

“Gud,” the old man said loudly, slapping his hands on his knees and standing. “Let’s get ye oot o’ ye wet clathes and find ye some food.” He hooked a hand under Daniel’s arm and hoisted him to his feet. “Then we’ll see about slaying some dragons and saving yon damsel in distress.”

Daniel laughed out loud at the vision of Jack in a gauzy dress and pointed hat leaning out of the castle window. The laughter felt good and for the first time in three days Daniel felt hopeful about the future. He turned to Mac and looked into the pale, gray, knowing eyes. The lined face was still handsome and Daniel could imagine what the poor young pilot had seen in this kind, strong man.

“Thank you, Mac,” he said sincerely. “You don’t know me, but you’ve been so kind.”

“Och, laddie…Yon man upstairs has told me so much about ye that I feel I do know ye.” Mac looked a little sad and shook Daniel’s shoulder gently. “I was ye once, Daniel. But I didn’t fight; I let him walk away and lost the most wonderful thing. I’ve been alone for the last fifty five years and regretted my decision every single day.” Mac sighed heavily. “I wud’nae wish that on my enemies let alone my friends and those I hope will be friends.”

Daniel was touched deeply by the old man’s words and he impulsively threw his arms around Mac’s shoulders. His embrace was returned warmly and the contact made Daniel feel stronger. He shivered with surprise. The only other person who ever made him feel that way was Jack. Moving back away from Mac the young man realized that although he didn’t know him that well, Daniel could recognize some of Jack’s traits in the man standing in front of him: Strength, loyalty, integrity. All the things Jack had in spades; this old man had them, too. Daniel ached that this man had spent so long alone without feeling the kind of love he and Jack had had… ‘Will have again,’ Daniel thought fiercely. ‘I won’t lose him…I can’t.’

*****

Mac showed him to the Blue Room which was tastefully decorated in china blue with antique painted Chinese wallpaper. Blue silk drapes adorned the windows and the four poster bed. He gratefully showered in the surprisingly modern bathroom and changed into the only other clean clothes he had with him; butter soft jeans with a rip in the knee and a plain white cotton shirt. He wore nothing on his feet, his only pair of socks were the ones Mac took away with his wet things to be laundered.

Mac returned with impeccable timing just as Daniel finished dressing and he saw the old man give him an appreciative glance as he placed a tray of sandwiches on a low table. There was also a carafe of coffee and several tiny cakes on a tiered platter.

“Wow, Mac. This is great,” Daniel enthused, “But you shouldn’t have gone to all this trouble.”

“Wheesht! Shut yer blather, laddie. Maddy loves ta feed boys. It’s her mission in life. Ye ask Master Jonny when he wakes up.” Mac poured the coffee and then stepped back, tilting his head and looking at Daniel expectantly.

The smell of the coffee made Daniel close his eyes and give a little moan of appreciation for the rich aroma. He opened them again when he heard Mac chuckle. “It’s El Injerto – Huehuetenango. His Lordship got a taste for it when he was stationed in Guatemala for a while. Some secret…”

“…Covert op that if he told you about he would have to shoot you,” Daniel and Mac laughed together, very aware of the undercover operations both Jack and Simon had been involved in over the years.

“Aye.” Mac looked over at the handsome young man sitting in front of him and felt an ache in his belly for lost chances. It was obvious this beautiful boy was deeply in love with Jack, and Mac resolved to do all in his power to make sure that when the men left Castle Blair it was once again as a couple.

“Now, less talk more eating.” Mac commanded.

“You’re not an Air Force Colonel by any chance?” Daniel asked cheekily.

“Nay, laddie. But I do command this household and I’m an old hand at dealing with wee boys who don’t eat their meals.” Mac’s gruff words were couched in humor. “And…” he continued, “before ye say it; I am old enough ta be yer grandfather, so yes, ta me ye are but a wee boy.” He lifted his eyebrows and pointed at the food in front of Daniel who began to tuck in with a smile.

Two hours later Daniel was sitting on a battered leather armchair in Lord Simon’s room.

Mac had assured him that there would be no one else home until the following day at least. Daniel was determined to be there when Jack woke; to be the first person he saw. He had been worried that the sickness that had dogged his lover in Mexico was still with him and he felt seriously concerned that Jack had been sleeping for nearly a full day. Mac had reassured him that Jack’s fever was only slight and that he had been woken for juice only an hour or two before Daniel had arrived. The local doctor was only a few miles away and Mac promised he would call if Daniel felt it was necessary.

Daniel let his thoughts drift as he watched his lover sleeping peacefully in another man’s bed. Having looked around with more analytical eyes he could see that the room had been arranged like a theatre set. Everything was carefully placed to point Daniel to exactly conclusion he had jumped to. Only the timely intervention of Mac had prevented him from running across the Glen and out of Jack’s life forever. Daniel mulled over his plan of action, unsure how the next few days would go. If he had his way he would have both him and Jack back on a plane to Mexico before Simon returned from Edinburgh **,** but he recognized that was wishful thinking. Both he and Jack had said hurtful things and there was also the issue of the ‘spirit’ version of Daniel’s younger self that Izel had seen, along, she had insisted, with Jack. Although Daniel wanted to be skeptical he had no explanation for Jack knowing the name of his first love. Daniel knew there was more going on than he had realized and that if their relationship was going to survive they had to work through the mystery. Adding Simon, the jealous ex-lover into the mix did not help at all, but Daniel realized he may just have to cross that bridge…

“Oh, Jack,” he muttered quietly, “One of your favorite clichés. You’d be so proud.”

The figure draped across the bed seemed to respond to the gentle sound of Daniel’s voice in the quiet room. Jack twisted in the covers and looked blearily around the room, his eyes finally landing on the armchair and its occupant.

“Hi,” Daniel said quietly, his heart thumping loudly and painfully in his chest. He watched as recognition, disbelief and then joy skittered across Jack’s face.

“Danny?”

Daniel was about to stand and walk over to the bed, wanting nothing more than to kiss every inch of that beloved body; to bury himself deeply inside his lover’s skin and never come out. Then he saw the shutters fall and an expression of cold anger freeze onto Jack’s face.  Stealing himself for the battle he knew he had to fight Daniel waited, hoping Jack would give him a chance to make his case. However, Jack’s next words dashed those hopes into tiny pieces.

“Daniel, I don’t know why the fuck you’re here…”

Daniel moved to the side of the bed, wanting to sit near his love, but sure that wouldn’t be welcomed. “We need to talk, Jack.”

Scooting over to the center of the bed Jack angrily tugged the covers up to his waist and glared at Daniel. The younger man shivered at the icy stare.

“We have nothing to talk about, Daniel,” Jack spat out.  “You have nothing I want to hear. So leave, Daniel. Get the FUCK outta here… GO. HOME.”


	10. Through A Glass, Darkly X

_“We have nothing to talk about, Daniel,” Jack spat out. “You have nothing I want to hear. So leave, Daniel. Get the FUCK outta here… GO. HOME.”_

 

Jack clawed his hands into the sheets beneath him. Everything in him itched to grab Daniel and hold him fiercely to Jack’s aching body. His arms had felt empty and cold every second he had been away from his lover. But the nasty nagging voice in his head wouldn’t let him forget what had happened in Mexico and his stubborn head would not let his tender heart have the upper hand.

“What in hell’s name are ye shouting at, Jonny?” Mac strode into the room, his face set in a hard scowl. The Jonathon O’Neill Gordon had known for so many years did not speak to others that way, particularly not in this house which was Mac’s domain.

“Get him outta here, Mac.” Jack demanded loudly.

“Jack, please,” Daniel started, only to be shouted down by Jack’s angry voice.

“Fuck you, Daniel. I told you we have nothing to say to one another. You have no right to be here.”

Every word hit Daniel like a body blow and Mac watched as the young man began to crumble in front of him. “I just wanted…Please, Jack. Just talk to me. I came all the way here from Mexico…”

“You fucking followed me from Mexico,” Jack drawled sarcastically. “And is that supposed to impress me, you stupid shit?” He was beside himself, his anger fuelled by the certain knowledge that he had lost the love of his life to another man. Not caring that he was naked he moved off the bed and stood, facing Daniel head on. “Go tell it to Russ ‘cause ya know what, Daniel? I really couldn’t give a damn.”

Feeling as though his chest would cave from the pain in his heart Daniel took one last look at the hateful expression on Jack’s face and turned to leave.

Jack watched his retreating form go through the door and then yelled out in frustration at Mac. “Listen, old man. Just keep him away from me. In fact, get his cheating ass out of this house before I go and land him on it.”

The next moment Jack found himself sprawled back on the bed, his face stinging from the full force, open-handed slap Mac had delivered to his right cheek. His instinct to protect himself kicked in and he scrambled to his feet again, raising a fist as if to punch Mac. Only the steely glint in the old man’s eye told Jack it would be a serious mistake that he would certainly regret.

“Sit yersel down, NOW!” Mac’s voice was cold and deadly calm.

Jack had used that tone himself many times, and knew that the old man would brook no argument. He subsided back onto the bed, pulling the covers up over his naked body, his hands clasped tightly in his lap, his anger churning away in his belly. He stared at his twisted fingers, not daring to look up at the man whose steely gaze he could feel burning into him.

“Firstly, Master Jonny,” Mac began, “ye are a guest in this house and ye will treat me and the other guests here with respect. Ye’r a grown man; a colonel in the Air Force, not some hoodlum off the streets. Do I mak mesel’ clear?” Mac took a step towards the bed and stared until Jack raised his hard eyes to meet the old man’s and gave a terse nod.

“Secondly, I dinnae know what slight ye think that young man has done ye, but he did follow ye here from Mexico. I think that means he must want ta talk ta ye; in fact he must want ta really badly, although the way ye’ve been carryin’ on I wud’nae blame him if he just turned right around and went back the way he came.” Mac took a final step, bringing him right to the edge of the bed, and glowered down at Jack; his eyes icy gimlets under beetling gray eyebrows.

“Who’d’ya think you are, Mac – my Da?” Jack spat, his face grim with tension.

“Well, I’m sure I’d do a damn better job than the waste of breath who left ye all those years ago, aye.” Mac shook his head wearily. “I’ve known all ma life that I would’nae be a fayther but, God help me, Jonny, ye are the nearest thing an old queer like me can have to a son. Ye know as well as anyone what my history is. If ye let that beautiful creature leave this house, Jonny, then you deserve to suffer just as I have all these years.” Gordon’s voice gentled and cracked a little as he continued. “He loves ye, despite yer bad temper and yer stupid mouth.” Mac took Jack by the shoulder and shook him roughly. “If ye care about him; if you love him half as much as he loves ye then ye owe it ta yerself ta stop this acting out and give him chance ta explain.”

Mac could see his words hitting home and watched as the angry glare became a repentant one. Jack looked up at the old man. “Mac, I’m sor…”

**“** Don’t ye waste yer breath apologizing ta me, Jack,” Mac growled. “Yon man down the way needs that more than I do.”

Jack’s face crumpled into a pained grimace. “You don’t know what he’s done, Mac,” he explained brokenly.

“Do **you** , laddie?” Mac questioned. “Do ye **really** know?”

Jack pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, wanting to push away the sick dread that was settling on his heart. Jack knew, deep down, that this was make or break for their relationship. If he wasn’t willing to listen to Daniel, then it would be over and perhaps that would be his fault. Before he could sink any deeper into the mire of guilt the heavy slam of the front door reverberated through the house and pulled Jack from his reverie. His shocked eyes met Mac’s raised eyebrows and expectant gaze. Without another word Jack scrambled across the bed as if to follow his fleeing lover.

It was only as he reached the door that a sharp “Ach!” from his old friend reminded him that he was still undressed. Jack turned and looked beseechingly at the man. Without another word Mac grabbed a heavy wool jumper and a pair of sweats from the back of one of the chairs and threw them at Jack.

“There are gumboots by the kitchen door,” Mac said gruffly as he watched Jack struggle into the slightly over-sized clothing. “And don’t ye come back in here without yon man.” A glance of understanding passed between the colonel and the butler and then Jack was flying down the stairs and through the kitchen to the back door.

****

The rain was heavy and the cold wind biting, but Daniel felt nothing. He ran, not knowing where he was going; only that he had to get away from the Castle and Jack’s vicious tongue. Within a minute the fine cotton shirt was saturated and clinging to his skin. The sharp edges of the driveway stones dug into Daniel’s bare soles and he stumbled and fell onto the rough surface, tearing a bigger hole in his jeans and skinning his knee. But still the pain and discomfort did not make an impact. Daniel was beside himself, torn apart by the end of his relationship with Jack. An ugly knot of self-loathing and jealousy was forming in his stomach and he gave voice to it as he yelled his agony to the stormy night.

“Fuck, Fuck, FUCK!” Bitter, angry tears coursed down his cheeks, joining the heavy raindrops plastering his hair to his head, running freely down his neck, soaking his clothes and chilling his flesh.

Only five minutes after Daniel had left him in the bedroom Jack was running full tilt around the side of the Castle and onto the driveway, clutching a padded jacket that he’d had the forethought to grab from the mud room outside the kitchen. He had pulled on a waxed hunting jacket over the borrowed clothes, aware that there would be very little between him and the elements otherwise. The night was inky dark, the sky filled with lowering clouds and only the spill from the floodlights allowed him to see Daniel crouched on the roadway, the rain now bouncing off his kneeling form.

Running clumsily in his borrowed rubber boots Jack quickly approached his fallen lover. Sliding the warm jacket around Daniel’s shoulders the older man pulled him up to stand in front of him. Jack could feel tremors running over Daniel's skin. He pulled Daniel into his arms, feeling a rush of relief at the familiar feel of his lover’s body against his own.

“Danny, please come inside. You’re gonna catch your death out here,” Jack crooned **,** trying to get Daniel to move back to the house. But the young man stood firm, unwilling to believe that Jack was going to listen to him.

“S’all right, Jack,” he slurred through chattering teeth. “Tam’ll take me back to the airport. I’ll be outta your hair before you know it.” He lifted his face to look at Jack and the cold emptiness of his eyes, when the pale light from the house reflected in them, made Jack gasp.

“No, no, babe, you don’t have to go. I’m a fucking idiot. You were right, we do need to talk.” Jack rubbed his hands up and down Daniel’s arms, trying and failing to stop the more violent shudders wracking his body.

“I just wanted to explain,” Daniel murmured. “Wanted to ask you not to throw us away. We hafta fight, Jack.”

Jack felt his heart stutter at the loss in Daniel’s voice. He knew the younger man was right. If what they had was real – and Jack really wanted to believe it was – then it had to be worth fighting for.

“I’m so stupid, Danny. I don’t want to throw us away.” Jack tightened his arms around the soaked and freezing man. “Let’s get back inside and ask Mac to find you some dry clothes and then we’ll talk.”

Daniel’s head snapped up and Jack was gratified to see a spark of life flickering in the tear soaked eyes. “We can talk?” he stammered haltingly.

“Yeah,” Jack promised. “And I’ll listen, too.”

Daniel nodded once and leaned into Jack’s body, still unaware of the stinging rain assaulting his body. “I love you, Jack. That’s the truth.” Haltingly he continued. “Russ was…I was…God, Jack…”

Jack shook his head against the sudden surge of jealousy that struck him. “Let’s get inside before you get hypothermia.”

Daniel nodded again and let Jack lead him back to the house across the gravel driveway. He stumbled and Jack looked down, realizing that Daniel was barefoot. “Fuck, Danny. What are you doing to yourself?” He felt a stab of guilt as he remembered it had been his harsh words that had sent his young lover fleeing out into the night. With a grunt Jack hoisted Daniel into a fireman’s carry, ignoring the complaints of knees and back as he carried his love back towards the warm light spilling out of the open front door. He could see the tall, straight form of Mac waiting at the top of the steps for them and wondered if the old man would be willing to forgive him his rude behavior.

Just as Jack and his worryingly quiet burden were halfway to the house the yellow flash of headlights rounded the arc of the drive and drew up at the doorway. Continuing on towards the house, Jack watched as a tall figure unfolded from the driver’s door of the long, low sports car. The light from the house caught the handsome features of the visitor and for a moment Jack was transported back in time to a long hot summer here in Scotland. The young man in front of him could have been Simon from over twenty-five years earlier. Jack was only a couple of strides away from him when he realized that this must be Davin Garvin, Simon’s twenty something lover. Scowling at the unwelcome intrusion Jack didn’t bother to acknowledge the slickly dressed man, simply stamping past him and on up the stone steps to gently place Daniel on his feet in front of Mac.

“Who the fuck are you?” Davin demanded, slamming the car door shut. Jack would have thought the warm baritone of the new arrival was sexy if he hadn’t been so worried about Daniel, whose lips were turning blue against the alabaster white of his skin. Ignoring the slightly haughty tone of the question Jack turned to Mac while holding most of Daniel’s weight against him.

“Mac, we need to get him outta these wet things and into a warm bath,” he barked, forgetting who he was talking to.

“Aye, Colonel, sir,” Mac answered wryly, his mouth quirking at the orders he was being given.

Jack had the sense to blush. “Sorry, Mac. I’m just worried. He’s freezing and I bet he hasn’t eaten anything for hours, if not days.”

“Och, well let’s get ye upstairs, Master Danny, and see if we can’t save ye from the big bad colonel and his nasty mouth.” Mac slung one of Daniel’s arms around his shoulders while sheepish looking Jack took the other. Between them they managed to get the almost comatose Daniel up the stairs and into the Blue room.

Jack quickly and efficiently stripped the soaked clothing off his lover's chilled body while Mac started to run a warm bath and then called down to the kitchen for some warm tea and soup.

“So tired,” Daniel murmured.

“I know, baby, I know.” Jack crooned as he pulled the pale silk coverlet off the bed and snuggled it around his lover's trembling body. “You never were any good at being cold. Suppose that’s what comes of being a desert baby.” Jack pulled Daniel's unresisting body into his and soaked in the feeling of having his man back in his arms.

“Jack, we need to talk,” Daniel started, his teeth still chattering. Icy streams of water cascaded off his dripping hair down his neck, causing him to shudder uncontrollably. Jack was about to answer him when the new arrival at the house made an entrance worthy of academy award winner.

Dressed in a designer tux, white wing shirt and a loose silk bowtie, Davin made an arresting sight as he stood in the bedroom doorway. His dark hair curled attractively over his collar. He held his shiny brogues in his left hand and a cut glass tumbler of whiskey in his right. Leaning artfully against the doorjamb Davin looked every inch the international model that he was. Jack wouldn’t have been surprised if there’d have been a photographer in the room. But despite the young man’s insouciance Jack could see the calculating gaze in his eyes.

“I’m guessing you’re friends of Si’s,” he drawled with a wry twist of his mouth approximating a smile. “Otherwise one of you must be Brad and the other Janet.” He snorted at his own Rocky Horror reference and took a long pull of his whiskey.

“Yeah,” Jack replied, giving nothing away. “I’m Jack O’Neill and this is Daniel…Daniel Jackson.” Jack looked back at his lover to see the younger man regarding the model in the doorway with assessing eyes.

A look of surprise flitted over the standing man’s face before he recovered a little. “Jack?” he questioned, a little sharply.

“Aye.” Mac’s reply from behind him made the young man start in surprise and drop his shoes on the floor, the loud thump making Daniel jump a little. “This, Mr Davin, is Master Jonny. I’m sure you’ve heard his Lordship tell many a tale about this young man and his exploits.”

Jack was smirking a little at Mac’s comments, but Daniel watched Davin carefully and saw a flicker of pain cross his handsome face before he schooled his expression back to one of studied nonchalance.

“Yeah…” the young man drawled, “he may have mentioned you.” Davin shrugged and made to leave the room. “Simon’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. I’m sure he’ll be pleased to see you after all these years. It’s always good to see **old** friends” he commented pointedly. “And by the way,” he threw over his shoulder, “Those are my clothes you’re wearing; Dolce and Gabbana, actually. They may look like sweats and a sweater to you, but that outfit you’re wearing cost over a thousand pounds.” Davin gave one last haughty look and stepped out into the corridor.

“Shoes, Mr. Davin,” Mac called out after the retreating figure and Jack had to stifle a chuckle of glee as the young man huffily returned and picked up his fallen brogues from the doorway.

Daniel quickly pushed down a little stab of jealousy. Although the young model looked almost exactly like the pictures of Simon when he and Jack had been together, Daniel tried to remind himself that Davin wasn’t Simon and the Lord would have aged, just as Jack had. Trouble was Daniel thought Jack had grown more handsome and desirable with age. The pictures of Jack as a young man, all smooth skin and dark chestnut hair, did nothing at all for Daniel. His older, more mature Jack was far more handsome. The scars, the silver gray hair, bum knees, the whole package made Daniel’s heart race. Being in Jack’s arms like this was such a physical relief; it was all he could do not to cling. Daniel tried not to imagine how the years had treated Simon. If he had grown more desirable could Daniel ever hope to compete against Jack's first love?

Mac walked over to the bed and placed his hand under Daniel’s chin. “Och, laddie. Will ye look at yon circles under yer eyes. Have ye slept at all since yon glaekit numpty left paradise fray ma neck o’ the woods?”

Daniel snorted and Mac gave a sharp bark of laughter as Jack looked totally nonplussed by the incomprehensible but obvious insult.

“Come awa’, laddie. Let’s get ye in yon tub and warm those bones,” Mac continued kindly. “Maddy has some of her lamb and pearl barley broth with yer name on it and then ye can decide whether ye want to talk to yer man here or send him oot the wa tay the stables fer the night.”

Jack was about to complain when Mac took Daniel firmly by the shoulders and hoisted him to his feet.

“Hey,” Jack shouted indignantly when he realized Mac’s intentions. “Get your hands off my man, you old fruit. If anyone is going to help my naked archaeologist get into the bath it’s gonna be me!”

“Oh, is that what he is then, Master Jonny,” Mac asked pointedly. “Is he **your** man? Perhaps ye should ask him if that’s what he still wants.” The old man winked pointedly at Daniel, out of sight of Jack and was pleased to see the corners of the younger man’s mouth quirk in a little smile. There was still way too much sadness in those eyes for Mac’s liking, but he was feeling hopeful that it wouldn’t take too long for that to go away.

 “Is it, Master Daniel? Is that what you want?”

Daniel looked down at his feet just peeking out from under the watermarked silk that wrapped him from head to toe. Part of him wanted to shake his head. He had no inclination to feel any more pain at the end of Jack’s sharp tongue and despite the gentle words out in the rain he still doubted Jack’s ability to listen to what he had to say. Hell, even Daniel had a hard time believing it. Whether Jack was psychic or whether there was something alien at play here, there was definitely more going on than just the breakdown of their relationship. However, if things didn’t go well, their relationship could be the final casualty. As he glanced up and looked into his Jack's face he couldn’t help but melt at the concern and fear he saw there. Jack was really scared that this was the end between them and that knowledge made Daniel want to fight all the harder, if only to take that unusual look from his lovers eyes.

“Jack can help me,” he said quietly with a little sweet smile aimed at Mac. The old man felt his heart give an extra strong beat. ‘Och, but ye are a beautiful creature,’ he thought to himself.

“Well, if the colonel gives ye any bother at all then just shout oot. I’ll be happy tay bring my greater experience ta yer aid. After all,” he continued archly, “tis obvious ye like yer men older.” Without another word Mac turned and left the room, leaving a red faced and spluttering Jack looking after him.

Daniel began to shuffle towards the bathroom, still clinging to the now damp bedspread. The movement shocked Jack out of his funk and he was soon beside the younger man.

“Here, let me get this off you before you fall over it,” he said gruffly, his emotions running far too close to the surface for his liking. Daniel nodded and let go of the cover before Jack could grab it. It slithered to the floor, landing in a heap behind Daniel as he carried on into the bathroom. Jack was rendered speechless by the vision of Daniel’s naked back moving away from him into the steamy room. He swallowed and felt the blood rush to his cock. He wanted nothing more than to run his tongue down Daniel’s spine, feeling every vertebra on the way. His mouth watered for the taste of the younger man's skin and his arms physically ached for the feel of his solid, muscled body. Feeling more than a little afraid Jack followed Daniel into the bathroom only to find him leaning shakily against the washbasin.

“Daniel?” Jack quickly moved to his lover and placed a hand on his forehead. “Well **,** you don’t seem to have a fever so that’s something.”

“I’m not ill, Jack,” Daniel snapped, a little pissed at Jack’s over solicitous manner. “I’m cold, jet lagged, upset and hungry. I can’t remember when I last ate something warm.”

Careful not to make Daniel any pissier, Jack placed a warm hand on his back and encouraged him to step into the steaming bathtub. Daniel sank up to his shoulders into the deep tub with a gusty sigh and closed his eyes in enjoyment. Jack plonked himself down on the closed lid of the toilet and watched quietly as Daniel visibly relaxed in the hot scented water.

“So…” he drawled tentatively, “…no hot meal on the plane?”

Daniel shook his head and sloshed water over the edge of the bath. “Nah, I couldn’t eat anything,” he began quietly, “I was too…” _Upset, emotional?_ Jack could hear the unspoken words and knew that he was the cause of them. Resting his forearms on his thighs Jack looked down at the marble tile on the floor. He wanted to look at Daniel; to be sure he was really there, but also dreaded seeing the sadness he could hear in the soaking man’s voice. It had been just less than three days since they had been together in paradise and now here they were, a lifetime later, in the cold wet Highlands and Jack had no idea what to say and how to make it right.

As usual Daniel had the words that Jack didn’t. “I am not and I have never cheated on you, Jack,” he began, his voice a little shaky both from the cold and fatigue and from the emotions coursing through him.

“You said someone else’s name,” Jack began tightly and then stopped, angry with how accusing that had sounded. Only moments after asserting to himself that he wanted to make things right between them his stupid mouth seemed to be going out of its way to mess things up.

Daniel opened his eyes and turned his head to look at Jack. “You heard someone else’s name, Jack, but I didn’t say it.”

Jack frowned as he tried to unravel what Daniel meant. “Danny?”

Daniel felt a knot in his heart give way as the affectionate diminutive of his name dropped out of Jack’s mouth. Only Jack could say it like that, with such charm and love and not make him feel like a little boy. “Will you let me explain something? Will you listen, Jack, ‘cause I’m not sure you’re going to believe me unless you hear everything I have to say?”

Jack took a deep breath. Something in Daniel’s tone told him there was a part of this he wasn’t going to like. “Yeah, Danny. I can do that,” he agreed, unconsciously folding his arms across his chest as if to protect himself from some unseen danger.

With a nod Daniel turned around in the tub, moving so that his shoulders were still under the water, but his chin was resting on his hands on the edge of the deep bath. “Russ was my first boyfriend,” he began. “I’d noticed boys when I was very young, even been tempted to try for one or two of them, but I was the ‘geek’, the ‘book boy’ and no one noticed me.”

Jack flinched a little as he heard his own pejorative words used by Daniel. He had always thought that Daniel knew they were affectionate nicknames, but the way he said them told Jack that sometime in the past they had held a real sting.

“When I was 21 I went to Oxford to get my second doctorate. I was the youngest in the class as usual.”

“Which one?” Jack interrupted quietly.

“Which one what?” Daniel looked puzzled at Jack’s non sequitur.

“Which doctorate?”

Jack sounded genuinely interest and Daniel gave him an appraising look. Perhaps he was going to listen after all. “Linguistics – well, philology, actually.”

“So I suppose you knew more languages than the rest of them too, huh?” Jack sounded proud and Daniel gave a little pleased smile.

“Yeah. I think I probably could speak about 18 languages fluently by then plus a few dialects and I had a working knowledge of several dead languages, although back then I didn’t know how they really sounded.”

“Hadn’t been through the ‘gate.” Jack chipped in quietly. “Got to know how they sounded then, eh, Danny?”

“Yes,” Daniel agreed, his love for Jack making his heart swell. He knew Jack was proud of his accomplishments, particularly his academic ones, but Jack’s tone was almost one of awe and Daniel felt pride that a man of Jack's skills had some appreciation for his linguistic abilities

“Well, Russ was in several of my classes. He was a couple of years ahead, but they were fast tracking me so I got to take seminars and tutorials with students in their third year. He was nearly 25 and I thought he was amazing. He spoke Danish and Swedish and also Finnish and Icelandic which are probably both the hardest to learn of all languages spoken on Earth. He taught me to speak them all.” Daniel smiled softly and Jack felt a dagger of jealousy stab his gut. He moved agitatedly on the hard toilet seat cover, pressing his hands together between his knees to stop himself from walking out. He had the idea that getting up and leaving the bathroom would give Daniel the wrong message. No. He had promised he would listen so, no matter how difficult, he would keep his promise.

“Anyway, he and I were asked to give a presentation on the Rosetta stone to some undergrads and while we were working on the project we began to realize we had more than languages in common.” Daniel smiled again and Jack could see he was lost somewhere in remembrance. It took a moment for him to shake out of it; a moment that seemed like hours to Jack.

“He was a real gentleman.” Daniel finally continued. “As soon as he found out I was a virgin he decided to woo me.”

“Yeah, a real gentleman,” Jack grumbled.

“He took me out; dinners, theatre, exhibits.” Daniel sighed, “It all seemed so romantic.”

“I can do romantic.” Jack interjected, wanting to remind Daniel that he was right there.

Daniel smiled and remembered the magic cave. “Oh yes, Jack. You definitely can do romantic,” he agreed softly.

Jack gave a pleased grin that made Daniel chuckle.

“Well, it was romantic until…”

“Let me guess,” Jack growled, “Until he got in your pants.” Jack felt a ripple of anger for the man who had taken his Danny’s virginity and then dumped him.

“No!” Daniel frowned at Jack and slapped his hand on the side of the tub. “No, it wasn’t like that at all.”

A noise from the bedroom heralded the arrival of Daniel’s supper and Mac came to the doorway of the bathroom. “Come on, laddie. Broth’ll get cold if ye don’t come and sup now.” Mac had a large fluffy robe in his hands and he held it out for Daniel. Without thinking the young man pushed to his feet, water streaming from his body, his skin pink from the heat. Steam rose in little wisps and the slick wetness only seemed to delineate Daniel’s muscles and smooth creamy skin.

“Oh, Daniel,” Mac sighed as the vision of the young man’s body took his breath away. Not since his own dear Gordon had any man affected Mac this way. Dragging his eyes away from his lover Jack noticed the look on Mac’s face and quickly snatched the robe from the old man’s unresisting fingertips. “My man,” Jack growled. “Mine.”

Mac glowered back at Jack and then shrugged. “That remains tay be seen, Master Jonny. Mind ye don’t do anything to prevent it.”

By this time Daniel had yanked the robe from Jack's fists. Putting it on he pulled the belt tightly around himself and tied it. He left the bathroom with the two older men in his wake and slid onto the bed, arranging pillows behind him so that he could sit comfortably to eat his food. Both Mac and Jack took a step toward the tray that was on the table, but Mac got there first and made a big show of settling the tray onto Daniel’s lap, fussing about the napkin and cutlery. Once again he gave Daniel a private wink and the young man was hard pressed not to laugh out loud. Oh, Mac knew Jack alright; knew how to press all his buttons. Daniel was relieved to have the old man on his side because he was sure Mac would make a formidable enemy.

“If you two have quite finished,” Daniel said airily. “I still have things to say.”

Mac gave a final pointed look at Jack that clearly said he should behave himself and then left after extracting a promise from Daniel that he would call if he needed anything.

“Dirty old man,” Jack grumbled as he planted himself on the end of the bed, facing his lover whilst leaning against one of the turned bedposts, his legs outstretched in front of him crossed at the ankles.

Daniel covered a smile by dunking a large hunk of fresh bread in his broth and cramming it into his mouth. He really was very hungry and, although he was still apprehensive, the fear that Jack wouldn’t listen had receded a little. He took several more mouthfuls while Jack sat quietly watching him. A kind of peace settled on Daniel and he found himself beginning to believe that things would be okay.

Finally he felt able to continue. “Where was I?” he asked distractedly.

“You were telling me how Russ was not just after popping your cherry,” Jack answered sarcastically.

Daniel gave a little shake of his head at Jack’s turn of phrase. “No, he wasn’t just after my virginity, in fact we were together for the whole of that year.”

Daniel looked so sad that Jack realized that whatever had split his lover and Russ had been difficult.

“I fell in love with him and wanted him to be exclusive,” Daniel explained with a sigh. “Russ liked to play the field; in fact I found out later that every night he wasn’t with me he was with someone else – well, a lot of someone else’s, actually.”

“Bastard,” Jack spat out, genuinely angry at the man who had hurt Daniel all those years ago.

“Yeah,” the young man sighed deeply. “He broke my fucking heart.” Daniel shrugged. “Well, you live and learn. I didn’t get involved with anyone like that again. Never let myself fall in love, with a man anyway, until…”

“Until?” Jack asked, almost wishing not to hear about another great love. Jack wanted to be that for Daniel and felt a small stab of regret that he hadn’t been Daniel’s first male lover.

Daniel looked across at Jack, his sincerity and love blazing out from his bright blue eyes. “Until you, Jack,” he whispered. “I fell in love with you, though I tried really hard not to.” Daniel moved the tray from his lap and placed it on the floor by the side of the bed. Pushing up from his position at the headboard he moved to kneel in front of Jack. “Was I wrong, Jack? Was I wrong to let myself fall for you?”

Raising a shaking hand up to caress his love's cheek Jack shook his head. “No, baby, you weren’t wrong.” Reaching around to cup the back of Daniel’s head Jack pulled the unresisting man towards him until their foreheads touched. “I love you, Daniel,” Jack breathed.

Their kiss was soft and reverent, both men needing to reaffirm their deep love of one another. The first was followed by another and then another which was more heated, speaking of the passion that was building in both of them. Jack stroked his tongue across Daniel’s lower lip, asking for admittance and Daniel opened up, their tongues meeting and dancing together, finally tasting the flavors both had been afraid were lost to them.

After several very heated minutes Daniel pulled away with a groan.

“Wha?” Jack complained, his brain a little shut down from the loss of blood that was beginning to fill his cock.

“Jack, I have to finish this. You have to know what happened at the beach house.”

“I know I was an idiot, isn’t that enough?” Jack pouted.

Daniel gave a little huff of laughter before continuing. This was the part he was dreading; the part that his skeptical colonel would find the most difficult to believe.

“When I was with Russ…” he began, “…when I was 21 I had long hair; hair right down my back, Jack.” Daniel looked at Jack expectantly.

The older man frowned and shook his head. What relevance did that have to anything. “So you had long hair. What does that have to do…?”

Daniel saw the exact moment when Jack put all the pieces together. Jack’s face paled and his eyes grew wide with recognition.

“I…I saw…Daniel! What the fuck is going on.” Jack scrubbed his hands across his face.

“Tell me what you saw.” Daniel took Jack’s trembling hand and squeezed it reassuringly. “It’s okay, Jack. I think there’s an explanation…well, that is I’m sure we can work it out. Tell me what you saw.”

Jack closed his eyes, needing to block out everything to make sure he gave clear account. “We were on the bed. You had your back to me. We were…” The sense memory of Daniel, hot and tight around his cock made Jack’s throat go dry and arousal sweep through him. “…making love,” he completed huskily.

Daniel smiled softly and stroked Jack’s cheek with his free hand, encouraging him. “And then?”

“I had my eyes closed and I heard you moaning and it was so hot, until I realized you were saying someone else’s name.” Jacks voice caught slightly as the memory of how that single word had burned him pressed against his heart. “I looked up and it wasn’t you sitting on me, it was a young man with long hair, right down his back.” Jack’s eyes flew open. “But how did you know what I saw, Danny? I thought I was going crazy. What with the kid and the teen and those whacked out dreams.”

“Kid and teen?” Daniel mused quietly. Something was niggling in the back of his mind. He needed more information about everything that Jack had kept quiet in their week in paradise. But first he had to reassure Jack that he wasn’t going mad. “Izel saw him, too,” he explained.

At the shock on Jack’s face Daniel realized that his lover though she had seen them having sex. “No, not then, not when you saw him, me…erm him.” Daniel closed his eyes for a second, trying to find his bearings as ideas began to race around his mind. “She saw the long haired man on the beach when you left in the panga and that wasn’t the first time she had noticed someone or something while we were there.”

“Danny, this is crazy. How could she see…what I saw…what I thought I…” Jack was getting a little anxious as he realized Izel had probably been aware of the ghostly kids he had seen at la Troza. “Is she psychic or something?”

“Or something,” Daniel agreed, still not sure what to call the visions Izel had.

“So,” Jack began quietly. “It was him I heard calling out for Russ, not you…well not you-you.”

Daniel saw the realization hit Jack and then he saw the guilt begin to settle on the older man. “Jack. Stop right there. The only thing you are guilty of is not fucking telling me about the dreams and visions. I would have listened. Don’t you think I would have believed you?”

“Thought I was losing it,” Jack admitted. “I tried to make myself believe it was just the fever and sickness, but it kept coming and going. And when I…” Suddenly a thought struck Jack. “When I got here I was so ill. I threw up everywhere, Danny. But since you arrived…”

“You’ve not been sick at all,” Daniel finished.

“Haven’t even felt queasy. Do you think…?” Jack raised his eyebrows, looking for Daniel to think his way through Jack’s confusion.

“I think there is more going on here than some illness and I know you’re not crazy, Jack.” Daniel said firmly.

“How do you know?” Jack asked, feeling weak for asking, but really needing the reassurance.

“Because I know you, my Jack. I feel you right here,” Daniel asserted, pressing against his heart. “And I believe in you.”

Jack felt relief flooding him. That was all he needed, to know that Daniel believed. He wasn’t crazy and together they would be able to work it out. Having no more words for how he felt Jack pressed Daniel back onto the bed and covered his lover’s body with his own. Daniel gave a moan that thrilled Jack and he dived into his mouth, pressing hot kisses to his lips. Jack knew he might not be able to tell him how much he loved him, but he was damn sure he could show him.

 

_glaekit numpty:  Stupid idiot_


	11. Through A Glass, Darkly XI

The low drone of the small jet engines overhead made Tam blow out a gusty sigh of relief. The plane was not yet on the tarmac and he wouldn’t be late. Mrs McClusky had kept him talking at the Glen Stores and it was only when a customer had arrived that Tam had realized how close he was cutting it if he was to get to the airport to pick up his employer. The Laird was a stickler for timekeeping and had been known to sack staff for being just a minute late. Tam loved his job, although he thought his employer was vain, rude and arrogant, and he didn’t want to lose the chance to continue driving the impressive stable of vehicles owned by Simon de’Vere.

Pausing for just a moment to check his tie and cap in the rear view mirror Tam hopped out of the Rolls and closed the door, listening with pleasure to the heavy thunk of the lock on the precision-made car. The old girl may have been vintage but she still had loads of class.

Walking quickly Tam made his way into the main passenger area of the small airport. He tipped a wink to the security guard who looked terminally bored sitting at the desk near the entrance. Wick airport only took internal, small plane flights and the chance of international terrorists was almost non-existent. Still the poor guy had to be there, his only excitement the odd irate traveler or drunk who wandered in off the main road to the town.

Tam’s thoughts were stopped by the heavy outer door swinging open. The plane was clearly visible on the tarmac and a small crocodile of passengers was being led across the apron and into the main concourse. The Laird stuck out, being a full head above anyone else traveling. At 6’4” the man was an imposing sight; his jet-black curly hair, only touched with silver at the temples, topped a soft but still handsome face. He wore a long military greatcoat fastened up against the ever-present wind which whipped across the flat land surrounding the runway. His cap was firmly pressed under one arm while a large black briefcase was clutched in his hand.

Simon swept the lounge area with a quick glance as he passed into the terminal building. Seeing Tam waiting for him de’Vere strode across the room towards the chauffeur.

“I have one bag in the hold,” he barked out, his comment sounding more like an order. He moved to the seating area, folded his long frame into a chair and pulled out a newspaper from his briefcase.

Tam tried hard not to roll his eyes. The Laird was a very important man in the Royal Air Force and no one was allowed to forget that. “Yes, sir,” Tam replied quickly as his woolgathering earned him a hard stare from his employer.

The baggage truck was soon pulling in to its docking area on the concourse and Tam moved quickly to make sure he was there to receive de’Vere’s luggage as soon as it was offloaded. Having secured the expensive leather bag he moved over to Simon’s vicinity and cleared his throat.

“I have yer bag, yer Lordship.”

With a curt nod Simon rose and followed Tam out of the building into the cold, blustery morning air. Dawn had not long broken, coming late as it did in this far northern end of Scotland, and the watery sun was just making its way over the horizon. Low gray clouds scudded across the sky, but it seemed there would be too much wind to allow rain to fall.

As they both entered the car Simon tapped the back of Tam’s seat to indicate that he was ready for him to drive off. The throaty purr of the vintage engine was dulled in the luxurious interior of the classic car and Simon settled back into the softness of the leather seats. It was a few minutes before a thought made him sit forward.

“Did you make any other trips to Wick while I’ve been gone?”

“Aye, sir, I did. I picked up Colonel O’Neill the day before yesterday and…”

Simon stopped him with a resounding thump to the back of his seat. “Good, good,” he said, a smile on his face wider than Tam had ever seen before. The Laird was not a dour man by any means, but he rarely showed anything but his stern command face to the staff. He leaned back, a signal to Tam that their conversation was over. Tam thought about letting de’Vere know Colonel Jack was not the only visitor, but he had been summarily dismissed and it was clear the Laird expected Tam to drive and not talk. So, as a conscientious employee Tam did as he was told. Privately he thought that the Laird was probably not going to like the surprise waiting for him at the Castle, but he kept that little nugget to himself, too. With a small, secret smile Tam drove carefully down the road and towards Glen Arach.

******

Jack woke to the familiar and much loved scent of Daniel. Spooned tightly together they’d spent the night in the Blue Room **,** ensconced in the ornate four-poster bed. The initial heat of the night before had softened to caresses as Jack realized just how tired Daniel was. The younger man had eventually fallen asleep in his arms with Jack taking until the early hours of the morning to follow him. The relief of having Daniel in his arms had come as quite a shock. He knew he loved the younger man, but Jack hadn’t realized how much his happiness depended on having Daniel close by. The idea of a future without Daniel in it made Jack shiver with horror.

The first rays of weak sunlight piercing the half-open drapes spilled over the bed. Jack felt his morning erection grow and lengthen as Daniel moved sinuously in his sleep. Tipping his head back Jack looked down across the wide expanse of Daniel’s back to the dark, shadowed space between his butt and the soft sheets that were draped across them; the little hint of something sensual and almost forbidden hidden there made Jack’s cock lurch and his pulse race. Feeling compelled to touch and taste he gently pressed his lips against Daniel’s back, moving the tip of his tongue over the silky flesh, picking up the subtle tang of soap and sweat and Daniel. His hips gave an involuntary thrust forward which pushed his cock between the globes of Daniel’s ass and left the head tucked up behind the soft skin of his balls. Jack gasped as the stimulation made his latent arousal come to the fore. Daniel gave a soft moan and pushed his ass back into Jack’s lap, grinding his hips a little as he did so and Jack couldn’t help the breathy ‘ahhh’ that forced its way through his vocal chords.

“Are you awake?” Jack whispered into Daniel’s ear.

“Mmmmm,” Daniel replied, his voice rough with sleep.

Jack wasn’t sure if that was an affirmative or not; that was until he felt long fingers running trails of fire across the head of his cock. Daniel had reached down between his legs and behind his balls to find Jack’s cock in its erotic nest where it lay, already beginning to paint the sensitive skin with pre-come. Jack moaned, louder this time, as Daniel subtly squeezed his thighs together creating a tight space for Jack to thrust into. Without any words Daniel reached around and circled Jack’s wrist with warm, dry fingers and with a slight tug encouraged Jack to reach over his hip and take a hold of Daniel’s half-hard length. Jack didn’t need any more direction or encouragement and he circled the hardening flesh with his fingers, holding it just below the head just as he knew Daniel liked it. Slowly and smoothly Daniel began to rock his hips, putting delicious pressure on Jack, who was caught between his thighs, with every backward push, and sliding his own cock through Jack’s fingers on the forward thrust. The movement was slow and leisurely, neither man expending much energy, but the tactile stimulation was intense.

Jack swiped his thumb across the head of Daniel’s cock using the copious liquid there to smooth the passage through his hand. The slick fluid made the velvet skin slid easily through his calloused fingers. His own cock was getting double input, both the glide of his length between Daniel’s tensed thigh muscles and the continued stimulation of the head as it slid across Daniel’s balls. Daniel reached back and placed his hand against the side of Jack’s head, pulling the older man into the crook of Daniel’s neck. Jack growled, low and feral, as he took hold of the shoulder muscle with his teeth and worried it, nipping and sucking. This was love making at its most intimate. Jack snaked his free hand around Daniel’s chest and began gently pulling and flicking Daniel’s nipples, making the younger man whimper and moan a little louder, the tempo of his hips beginning to increase. A slight squeeze of Daniel's thighs made Jack give an answering moan and they both began to feel the first slow embers of arousal becoming a fire.

“God, Jack! Il mio amore, la mio adorato. Fare l’amore con me. Dammi il tuo cazzo e mi fanno venire.” Italian fell from Daniel’s lips like sweet honey and Jack felt a surge of passion as the words were whispered between them.

“Il mio dolce, Daniel,” he replied, his voice rough with longing and want. “Mia vita, amore mio. Non lasciarti andare, mai mai…Vuoi sempre fottere per sempre.”

The sound of those words as they were whispered into his ear made Daniel lurch with arousal, his hips snapping forward pulling on Jack’s iron hard cock whilst pushing his own straining length through Jack’s firm grasp. Suddenly the heat was turned way up and they were both drowning in stimulation overload. Jack pulled Daniel firmly into his chest, taking over the rocking movement from Daniel and supplementing it with strong thrusts from his butt and hips as he held Daniel’s cock in a tighter grip. Daniel’s head fell onto Jack’s shoulder; his eyes rolling back into his head; his lips opening in a sensuous ‘O’. Turning his head to meet his lover's, Jack pressed his lips onto Daniel’s in a shower of wet open-mouthed kisses, accompanied by his hot tongue mimicking the action of his cock between Daniel’s thighs. Sweat and pre-come were liberally lubricating Jack’s way through the tight confines between Daniel’s big leg muscles and he could feel the dark roiling bite of his orgasm as it wound its way around the base of his spine and began to spike in his balls.

“Danny…Oh fuck, Danny. Getting close baby; getting so close…nearly there.” Jack’s cries were becoming urgent and Daniel found this, coupled with his words, so very hot that he moaned loudly.

“Yeah, Jack…Oh yeah. I’m here babe…With you…Gonna come with you.” Daniel once again reached around, this time to pull Jack back into scorching hot kisses as both men raced to the inevitable conclusion of their now frenzied coupling.

Jack knew he couldn’t hold on any longer. Dragging his mouth from Daniel’s he growled roughly in his ear. “Now, Daniel, give it up now…Now…NOW!”

With perfect choreography their orgasms erupted from them, Jack pouring his seed across Daniel’s thighs and balls as Daniel came in long ribbons through Jack’s fingers and onto the sheet in front of him. Jack’s deep grunt of satisfaction was harmonized by Daniel’s long ‘Ohhhhh’ as he cried out in sheer ecstasy.

They both trembled with aftershocks for several minutes until, sated and a little shaky, they turned to face one another. Daniel trailed a gentle touch across Jack’s cheek and smiled, the deep dimple in his cheek making Jack’s heart give a little flutter.

“We need to do a lot of talking, Jack.” Daniel said earnestly. “We have to face the fact that we may well need to get back to the mountain, especially if it looks like there may be some off world influence here.”

Jack sighed and nodded in acquiescence. “Yeah, I know. But somehow I think this is only going to affect us. I have a feeling that…” He stopped and bit his lip.

Daniel placed a warm palm against Jack’s cheek. “What, Jack?”

“Daniel,” Jack started quietly, “I’m starting to think that everything - the dreams, the kids I saw, Izel’s visions – somehow it feels like it’s all linked to you.” Jack shook his head slightly, not finding the words he wanted to explain his uneasy feelings to Daniel. “I think they all point to…”

Before Jack could finish his sentence the door of the room was flung open. Jack looked up over Daniel’s shoulder to see the large form of Simon de’Vere stride into the room. The big man’s eyes landed on Jack and seemed to light up from the inside. The sight made Jack feel very uneasy although he couldn’t quite fathom out why.

“Jack, mo giollan bòidheach.” Simon beamed at Jack. “What are you doing in here, I told Mac to put you in my room? Stupid old…”

Jack felt Daniel stiffen at the Gaelic endearment at the same time Simon realized Jack was not alone in the big blue-draped bed. Jack looked down at Daniel and gave him a little sheepish grin. They were both still flushed and sticky from their lovemaking and Jack was sure the room must reek of sex. Daniel raised his eyebrows at Jack, took a deep breath and turned in Jack’s arms, making sure that they still encircled him by holding Jack’s hands against his sticky belly. Luckily the covers were high enough to hide the evidence of Daniel’s orgasm that was still slick and only just cooling on his skin.

“Si,” Jack began, “this is Daniel, my partner. We spoke about him in DC a few months ago.” Jack couldn’t subdue the surge of pride and caveman glee he felt as he watched Simon’s response to his first look at Daniel. Simon’s pupils dilated noticeably and the tall man sucked in a sharp gasp of breath.

The Lord felt his heart sink a little as he took in the sight of his first love lying in bed with the hottest man he’d ever seen **.** And Simon would be the first to admit there had be a great many men in his life. de’Vere had been under the impression that Davin was the most beautiful man in the world, at least that’s what Cosmo and Vogue had said last year. But this man in front of him was even more stunning than the model and even though (according to his conversation with Jack over six months earlier) Dr Jackson was fifteen years older than Simon’s young lover, he certainly didn’t look it. As Simon thought about Jack’s relationship with this man, a hard calculating expression crossed his face and it was not missed by the men in the bed in front of him.

“Huh,” Simon huffed dismissively. “Yes, I seem to recall you mentioning him in passing.”

Daniel felt Jack tense at this slight and he knew that if he didn’t do something to make things a little less tense then words could be spoken Jack might regret later.

“Pleased to meet you, Lord Granville,” Daniel said pleasantly, speaking as if they were meeting at a dinner party, not with Daniel half-naked in a sex-soaked bed. “Please excuse me not getting up, but as you can see you have us both at a slight disadvantage.”

Jack found himself smothering a grin at the elegant way Daniel had pointed out both Simon’s rude entrance into the bedroom and his subsequent treatment of two guests in his house.

“Yes…Well…” the Lord growled, “Perhaps you’ll be kind enough to meet me in the breakfast room. Maybe then I can get an explanation of what has been going on in my home while I’ve been in London.” With that he turned on his heel and strode purposefully out of the room. The door swung shut with some force behind him and the two lovers could hear his strident voice echoing down the stairwell as he yelled for Mac.

“Hmm.” Daniel grimaced as he turned back to look at Jack, who was struggling with the chuckles that were bubbling in his throat. “Why do I get the impression I may not be very welcome.”

“Nah.” Jack shrugged, finally getting the laughter under control as he saw the look of real concern on Daniel’s face. “Look, Danny, he’ll love you once he gets to know you.”

Daniel heaved a disbelieving sigh. “Oh **,** really? I doubt that, being as he thinks you are, and I quote, his beautiful boy **and** he just caught us in flagrante delicto.”

“Well, thankfully not so much **in** flagrante as **post** flagrante,” Jack quipped, but was met with an unhappy glare from Daniel. “Danny,” he tried again, his tone more serious. “I’m sure Simon will be fine when he gets over the shock of seeing you in all your amazing hotness.”

Daniel squirmed uncomfortably at the compliment, but was secretly very pleased.

“You know he really wasn’t expecting to see you,” Jack explained. “He was still here when Izel rang to say I was on my way, but he’d gone by the time you left La Troza.”

Reluctantly Daniel nodded in agreement. He wasn’t going to argue this with Jack, but he was sure he had seen something resembling hate on Simon’s face when he had realized that Daniel was in bed with Jack. Daniel could see that Jack still had a great deal of affection for Simon, but he was concerned it would blind his older lover to Simon’s true agenda. It was obvious to Daniel the Lord had seen Jack’s visit as an opportunity to reconnect with his first love and that made Daniel very nervous.

“We’d better get in the shower,” he sighed deeply. What he really wanted was to spend days and days in bed with Jack, making up for the long and painful hours they had spent apart. They were only just getting back on an even keel and now there was something, or rather somebody, else looking to put a spanner in the works. “I’m sure it won’t go down well if we keep breakfast waiting.”

Levering his long legs out of the warm bed Daniel stood and then turned to see a leeringly appreciative look on Jack’s face as his lover looked him up and down.

“Woof,” Jack growled lecherously.

“Shut up, giollan bòidheach,” Daniel goaded and then gave a most unmanly squeal as Jack leapt out of the bed, clawing his fingers as he reached for Daniel’s belly. Both men made a dash for the richly appointed bathroom, laughing uproariously.

*****

The breakfast room seemed to ring with the strident sound of Lord Granville’s apoplectic ranting. A fire popped and crackled in the large stone hearth, lending a warm glow that chased away the rather watery, pale light that struggled in through the leaded windows. The man himself was stalking around the large breakfast table that dominated the richly decorated room, his face a deep red veering towards puce.

“Mac, you stupid old fuck. Didn’t I tell you to put Master Jonny in my room? If we had to accommodate Dr Jackson – and I don’t know why he couldn’t go to the Arach Hotel - then he could have been put in the Blue Room.” Simon rounded on Mac who was standing straight and stalwart in the center of the room, looking not at all harried by the tongue-lashing that was being directed at him. “I think you’re losing it, old man. You may have been a favorite of my father, but I’m wondering if it’s time we put you out to pasture,” Simon sneered over at the elderly man. “Just one thing I ask you to do, one simple, solitary thing and you can’t even get that right.” The younger man slammed his hand down on the table in his temper, causing the cutlery and glassware to jump into the air and land back in disarray. “Well?” de’Vere demanded, “What excuse do you have this time.”

Mac looked piercingly at the Laird and felt saddened that the once personable young man he had helped to raise had become this bitter, vituperative martinet. The old retainer knew that Lord Simon’s reputation as a hardball career officer was well known both in the ranks and along the corridors of the Ministry of Defense. However, in his own home and with his own staff he had, at first, been a considerate and fair employer, as had his father before him. Over the last five years, however, it had become harder and harder to please the man. His moods were as many and varied as his boyfriends - all of whom were much younger (to the point of impropriety sometimes) and mostly brainless pretty boys, out for what they could get. Mac was reserving judgment about Mr Davin for a while longer. There was something about that particular young man that Mac was beginning to like, albeit grudgingly.

Right now though he was aware that his master was waiting for his answer and Mac wanted to be sure he got it. Right between the eyes.

“I am eighty four years auld, Master Simon,” he began, purposefully using the mode of address he had always used when the Lord had been a boy. “I have worked in this household for nigh on seventy of those years and this is the first time I have been spoken ta with such disrespect.” Mac drew his gray beetling eyebrows together in a forbidding scowl and was gratified to see Simon pale a little under his gaze. “I din’nae have ta be here and if ye wish ta dispense with ma services then I can’nae stop ye. Is that what ye wish?” The old man waited, his cold gray eyes piercing Simon like a stiletto.

“I didn’t say I wanted you to leave,” the Lord mumbled, turning his back on the heated disapproval Mac was throwing his way. “Just that I should think about…” He trailed off as he realized how stupid he had been. Of course he didn’t want Mac to go; he didn’t even know why he’d said it. He was just upset, miserable and confused.

When he'd heard that Jack was on his way from Mexico and that he had left there in some distress, Simon had let himself believe that perhaps this was the reconciliation he had waited for so patiently for the past twenty-five years. There had never been anyone who had come close to replacing Jack in his heart. Every pretty boy he’d bedded had been compared and found wanting. They never passed muster in bed or in their conversation and often the sex was mediocre at best. Simon didn’t like to analyze why that was the case. He had a ‘type’: tall (at least 6’ but preferably 6’2”), dark hair, a tanned complexion and a cheeky smile. They had to be really well endowed and, finally and most importantly, they must not be military.

There were no rules about him having a gay relationship – in this respect British Airmen were much better off than their US counterparts and had been for many years. No, it was more that having been with the best flyer, fighter and strategist of his generation (in Simon’s not so humble opinion) there was no one who could even come close to Jack. So he had filled his life and his bed with actors and models, financiers and lawyers; some of them bright enough, some of them no more than pretty faces. They all had one thing in common though; they all left him feeling hollow and alone. The nearest he had come to a long-term relationship was with Davin and he really couldn’t put his finger on why that was. He hadn’t really cared once he heard that Jack was coming for a visit. If things worked out Davin Garvin would be on the plane to Edinburgh in an instant.

Now everything was falling down around his ears because of the appearance of one Dr. Daniel Jackson. Simon felt his lip curl as he thought about the unbelievably stunning man he had seen sharing Jack’s bed only minutes ago. Jack had waxed lyrical about him when they had met in DC, but Simon had been too star-struck at being in the same room as Jack to take much notice of what Jack had to say.

Simon was used to beautiful men. Their beauty was often couched in artifice and their manner false and fawning. But this man, the man who Jack introduced as his partner, for God’s sake, had a sort of inner luminescence that made him more than just a pretty face. He was àlainn anam; a beautiful soul. It shone from inside him and Simon wasn’t sure he could fight that kind of presence. Jack meant so much to him, though, that he was hell bent on trying. He had guessed Dr. Jackson would follow Jack from Mexico and had put a plan into action that would hopefully alienate him from the colonel and drive Jack safely into Simon’s arms.

Mac stood patiently, watching and waiting, seeing the fleet flow of emotions as they passed over Simon’s features. The old man was nobody’s fool and once he had realized that he had been used to try to hurt Daniel he was determined to show Simon the error of his ways. There was something about Jack’s younger lover that stirred Mac’s soul. There was a gentle strength about him that reminded Mac of his own love, Gordon. He was not about to let Simon push the two Americans apart. Mac wanted more than anything to see Simon settled and happy. McGregor knew that his time was limited and every year was likely to be his last. He certainly would not be able to carry on as general factotum for much longer so he had started to groom Tam for the job. The young man had a lot to learn, but he showed initiative and an ability not to be phased by the unexpected. But for Mac to retire a happy man, his employer would have to be far more stable than he was right now.

“Sit down,” Mac demanded quietly.

Simon’s head shot up, an angry scowl settling on his face. “Excuse me, but who do you think you are **,** telling me what to do in my own house.”

Mac took a step forward, getting into Simon’s personal space. Mac was only an inch shorter and his bearing was straight even with his advanced years, so they were almost eye to eye. “I’m the man who changed yer nappies, wiped yer shitty arse and snotty nose. I’m the man who held ye when yer mother died and yer fayther was heart sick.” Mac’s anger was apparent in the quiet steel of his voice. “I’m the man who keeps this house running while ye’re awa ta London. I’m the man who loves ye like a fayther and right now I’m the man who’s ashamed of ye.”

Simon blushed as the old man took down all his false bravado and carefully constructed defenses. He sank down into one of the dining chairs and was unable to look away from the forbidding face of his oldest friend.

“I know,” Mac continued relentlessly, “that ye tried ta drive a wedge between Master Jonny and his man. And worse,” Mac spat out, “ye tried ta use me ta do it. Now I din’nae care what ye do with all yon empty-headed pretty boys. They are naything ta me. But Master Danny is something different. The man who gets his love is privileged. Ye already know how special Master Jonny is. Well, I think they were meant ta be tagether.  If ye want ta try ta rip them apart, then be my guest. I happen ta believe it’s impossible. Just don’t ask me ta be part of it because I won’t, not even for ye **,** Master Simon.” The old man shook his head and moved towards the doorway.

“But he’s mine,” Simon whined petulantly. “I was with him first.”

“Wheesht man!” Mac rapped out. “Will ye listen to yersel. Yer a fifty year auld senior officer in the Royal Air Force, not a thirteen year old girl with a crush.” Mac made a noise of disgust and waved a hand in the direction of Simon’s pout. “Ye’ll trip over yon bottom lip if ye don’t watch it.” Mac sighed deeply. Things were much worse than he’d thought. He’d hoped that a stiff talking to would convince Simon to back off and be happy for his friend and the older man’s lover. But it seemed that Simon’s pride and possessiveness with regard to Jack were blinding him to what was glaringly obvious. Jack and Daniel were made for each other. Mac decided he would let nature take its course. Once Simon saw the two men interacting and had time to recognize his folly then he would come around to a sane way of thinking.

“They’ll be down fer their breakfast any minute now. I expect ye ta behave like a gentleman not a love-sick child. Do ye understand?” Mac’s tone was forceful and brooked no argument.

In reply Simon simply shrugged his shoulders and busied himself with the newspapers that were folded up and arranged at the end of the large table. Sighing deeply Mac shook his head and left the room to arrange for breakfast to be served.

As Mac had predicted it was only minutes later that Jack and Daniel arrived in the breakfast room. Simon couldn’t help the rush of want that the sight of Jack engendered and the bite of jealousy that was allied with Daniel. Pasting on a smile that did not reach his eyes he stood to welcome them.

“Jack,” he called, opening his arms for a hug. “God, it’s so good to see you, sweetheart.” Simon didn’t miss the flush of irritation that bloomed on Daniel’s face as he caught the endearment. But de’Vere chose to ignore the frown Jack was throwing his way. “And Dr. Jackson,” he continued after he had hugged Jack soundly, his tone formal and a little less warm. He put out his hand and Daniel reciprocated. The handshake itself was little more than a formality, quickly discarded. Again, Simon refused to see the narrowing of Jack’s eyes.

“Maybe you’d rather we found a hotel room, Simon,” Jack asked, feeling more than a little aggrieved at Simon’s dismissal of his life partner. “Neither of us want to intrude,” he continued pointedly.

“No, NO!” Simon was a little panicked that Jack might actually consider leaving. His plan needed Jack to be at close quarters. Simon had already decided that the stunning Dr. Jackson would be better suited to the equally stunning Mr. Garvin. If he could just get them in the same room for a while he was sure there would be some mutual attraction. Once Jack saw that his ‘special’ man was not so special any more then Simon would be on hand to give him comfort. Once Jack remembered what he was missing there really would be no contest. “Look, let’s sit down and enjoy our breakfast. You can tell me how you come to be here and why you came all the way from Mexico.”

Reluctantly Daniel sat at the table only to see Simon swoop down and catch Jack's arm, pulling him over to the mantle to show him some framed photographs. Daniel was starting to get irritated with Simon’s blatant flirting and they had only been in the room for a minute or so. Daniel had realized that Simon might be hopeful about rekindling his relationship with Jack, but he also thought once the Lord had seen the depth of the bond between Jack and himself he would back off and realize his chance had passed twenty-five years earlier.

Jack gave Daniel a wry smile over his shoulder as he was once again moved to look at yet another photomontage. He could feel Simon’s hand in the small of his back and he could also feel the twin blue lasers of Daniel’s eyes boring a hole in the back of his head. He needed to nip this in the bud. Simon was a dear friend and a cherished ex, but Daniel was his soul mate, his literal other half, and Simon needed to understand that there was no chance of him coming between them. Jack had made one big mistake in Mexico and he wasn’t about to let anything or anyone else hurt Daniel.

Jack opened his mouth to gently let Simon know he was on the wrong track, but a voice from the doorway interrupted his train of thought.

“So, Simon, are you going to introduce me to your friends?” Davin’s smooth and definitely sexy baritone voice floated across the large room. Daniel turned to look at him and was struck by the sheer physical beauty of the man with his humorous twinkling green eyes, chiseled features and flawless skin. He was tall and well built and his clothes, although very casual, looked as if they were bespoke and fitted like a glove. Daniel felt positively dowdy in his borrowed sweats and sweater; even though they were ‘designer’ and wished he had packed more than just a single change of clothes.

“But of course.” Simon gave Jack a dazzling smile and with an arm around his shoulder drew him in to his side. Daniel felt a rush of possessiveness course though him and he had to work to keep his butt on the chair.

“This handsome bastard is Jack O’Neill. Actually Colonel Jack O’Neill, US Air Force. He’s a very dear friend from way back,” Simon explained proudly. “We spent a beautiful time together.” With that he looked into Jack’s eyes and tried to send him all his love and longing.

This little speech was a step too far for Daniel and he stood abruptly his face set in an irritated scowl. Simon was pleased to see he had got under the younger man’s skin and bit back on a smirk of triumph. “This is his friend, Dr. Jackson, who I know absolutely nothing about,” the Lord continued, his tone giving the impression that whatever there was to know about Daniel would be boring.

“Alright Si, that’s enough,” Jack interjected heatedly. “You know damn well what Daniel does and that he's my best friend and my life partner.” With a less than gentle twist Jack moved away from Simon and went over to sit on the chair next to Daniel's. Happy that his lover had not been swayed by Simon, Daniel turned and held out his hand to Davin.

“Hi,” he said, pumping the man’s hand heartily. “You can call me Daniel. And you are Davin, is that right?”

Davin nodded, his eyes flitting over to Simon who was standing at the hearth glaring into the leaping flames. “Yeah,” he drawled. “Davin Garvin. I model – you know, photo shoots, fashion shows, magazine covers.”

Daniel smiled and Davin couldn’t help but grin right back. As far as Davin was concerned Daniel was very attractive, but really not his type. In fact there was only one man for him and right now that particular man was sending heated looks of longing at the silver haired man sitting next to Daniel.

“I’m an archaeologist, anthropologist and linguist.”

“Tell him how many languages you speak, Danny,” Jack interjected.

“Jaa-ack,” Daniel complained, but seeing the look of utter love and pride on Jack’s face, he decided to swallow his self-deprecating tendencies.

“Um…OK…well, at the moment I speak twenty-three languages fluently, both living and dead. I can read several more and have a working knowledge of pictographic communication.”

“So which one is your PhD?” Garvin asked with genuine interest.

Daniel cleared his throat.

“All of them,” Jack crowed as proud as if they were his own achievements.

“Wow!” Davin was truly impressed. “Three Doctorates.”

“Yeah,” Jack continued much to Daniel chagrin, “and all of them by the time he was twenty nine.”

Davin looked awed by Daniel’s achievements. “God, that’s very impressive; makes my work look like nothing. All I do is either stand around all day, posing or walking up and down a catwalk.”

“I’m afraid I’m not doing a very good job of wearing your designer stuff, Davin,” Daniel apologized, looking down at the expensive loungewear covering his body. “I only have two sets of clothes with me and both are being laundered.”

Davin’s grin got wider. “They look great on you.” The model suddenly had an idea. “Oh man, I have tons of clothes here.” He moved to sit opposite Daniel at the breakfast table and Simon almost bit his tongue in frustration. He wanted the two of them sitting together so that he could monopolize Jack. Now he would have to sit next to Davin which was not what he wanted at all.

“You and I are pretty much the same size,” Davin continued, unaware of his boyfriend's chagrin. “After breakfast you could come and try some stuff on.”

Daniel looked at Jack who shrugged nonchalantly. Actually, the idea of Daniel dressed in designer clothes was quite hot and as much as Simon would have liked him to, Jack didn’t see Davin as a rival for Daniel. Jack knew that despite his devastating good looks Davin was not the man Daniel had spent his morning making love to. Smugly **,** Jack gloated at his good fortune knowing that Daniel loved him, was **in** love with him.

“But I couldn’t,” Daniel began. “All those expensive clothes…”

“Are given to me by the designers,” Davin cut in. “They don’t cost me a penny and I could never wear them all.” He smiled and Daniel felt that this man was someone he would love to know as a friend. “You are exactly the right proportions for my stuff and you’re only a little shorter than me, so the leg length won’t be far off. You are so hot you could make a lot of money. People think it’s a young man's life, but more mature male models can make a lot of money”

When Daniel lifted his brows in surprise the model gave a snort. “It’s part of my job to know how the clothes work and the best way to show them off. So I have a good eye for fit and proportion. I have to look good in anything from a loin cloth to a suit of armor.” At this Daniel laughed out loud and both Davin and Jack joined in. With a happy smile Daniel agreed to visit Davin’s designer closet after breakfast and Jack indicated his intention to tag along.

Simon seethed in the background, unhappy that both Jack and Daniel seemed to be striking up some kind of fledgling friendship with the man who was supposed to be the means to getting Jack away from Daniel. Taking a hold of his resentment and disappointment and pushing it down, Simon decided that he could be patient. He would make sure that Jack stayed for several days so there would be plenty of opportunity to drive a wedge between the lovers.

Simon was so intent on the men in front of him that he didn’t see the tall form of Gordon McGregor watching them from the doorway. It was now obvious to the old man that just talking to the Laird was not going to be enough. Mac decided he would watch for now and bide his time, but if Simon decided to make trouble for Master Jonny and his love, then Mac would not hesitate to stop him.

 

 

_Il mio amore, la mio adorato. Fare l’amore con me. Dammi il tuo cazzo e mi fanno venire: My love. My adored one. Make love to me. Give me your cock and make me come._

_Il mio dolce, Daniel, Mia vita, amore mio. Non lasciarti andare, mai mai…Vuoi sempre fottere per sempre: My sweet, Daniel. My life, my love. Never letting you go, never, never...Want to always fuck you, forever._

_mo giollan bòidheach: My beautiful boy._

 

 


	12. Through A Glass, Darkly XII

Davin’s room - or the Craigavon Room as it was officially known - was a large space in the front of the castle. It had two floor-to-ceiling windows that were draped with swathes of damask silk in rich shades of green and gold. The room itself was square and dominated by a huge four-poster bed in the center and a bank of closet doors along the full length of one wall. It was very masculine in ambiance and had none of the slovenly feel of the master suite. The night stands were piled with books and magazines and an old fashioned brass telescope was set up on the wide window seat. There was a weight-bench over in one corner and a stand containing dumbbells of various sizes, alongside an exercise mat. The closet was bespoke and although the timber used had been carefully selected, it was obvious that it was a more modern addition to the ancient building.

“Okay, Dr. Jackson. Get ‘em off.”

Davin flung open the doors of his walk-in closet, revealing an interior almost militaristic in its neatness. Automatic lights flickered on as door after door was pulled open by the international model to reveal their contents. Shirts and tops hung in color coordinated order above a rail packed with pants in every fabric and hue. The second door swung open to show at least thirty suits; all pristine in their see through bags. Racks and racks of shoes, boots and trainers were ranged in serried ranks along the floor of the wardrobe. On the backs of the doors, ties, belts and scarves hung in perfect order, so unlike his own tangled mess at home that Jack stared at it open mouthed.

“Mac look after all this for you?” Jack asked, too enthralled to notice that Daniel was staring, still open mouthed and horrified at Davin’s first comment.

“No!” Davin frowned indignantly. “I look after my own clothes.” At Jack’s smirk of disbelief Davin walked over to stand by Jack, looking back into the cornucopia that was his wardrobe. “Tell me, do you treat your uniform with disrespect, Colonel? Leave it in the bottom of your closet? Wear it wrinkled?” he queried.

“Well, no, but then its part of my job. I have a duty to look my best in my uniform, to represent my country to the best of my ability.” Jack squared his shoulders, his belief in what he was saying showing in his body language.

“Well, these clothes are part of my job, too,” Davin explained. “And my duty is to myself and to the designers I represent. I get paid – a huge amount of money by the way – to make their clothes look good. If I’m fronting a campaign then, even when I’m on my own time, it’s important that I look my best. And to be honest; being seen looking scruffy or badly dressed is suicide for a model.”

Jack gave a little nod as he realized that Davin was right. He was still looking with awe at the amazing tableau in front of him when he heard a snort from behind him.

“Are you going to stand there looking at them or are we going to get you trying something on, Daniel?”

Jack turned to see a wide-eyed Daniel standing by the side of Davin’s dark oak four poster bed.

“What is it, Danny?” Jack asked, wondering what had spooked his lover into silence.

“I can’t ‘get ‘em off’, Jack.” Daniel plucked irritably at the sweater and sweat pants he was wearing.

“Why not?” Jack was mystified by Daniel’s sudden body shyness. “You’ve stripped off in front of a room full of drooling Marines before now without batting an eyelid. Now, I’ve seen it all and I’m sure Davin can be trusted not to spontaneously combust when he gets to see you in all your hotness.” Jack looked over at Davin who grinned broadly. Jack was really beginning to like this guy. If Simon had someone like him in his life then there was hope for his ex-lover yet.

“In case you hadn’t noticed,” Daniel ground out in a stage-whisper, “Davin is young, hot and definitely not a hairy-assed marine and did I mention he’s hot!” Daniel took in Jack’s less than helpful smirk. “Also, I didn’t bring any spare underwear,” Daniel explained with an embarrassed shrug. “I’m going commando under here.

“Whoa, Daniel, you dog!” Davin crowed. “I bet Jack wishes he’d known that at breakfast.”

The models easy humor made Daniel relax a little and he let himself grin. A moment later he barely caught a package that sailed across the room at him. When he looked down at the box he saw it contained a pair of white Calvin Klein boxers; the real thing that cost the Earth, not the $5 knock offs found in most malls.

“Bathroom’s behind the door over there.” Davin pointed to his right. “Oh, by the way, Daniel, are you wearing anti-perspirant?” he inquired, teasing Daniel with a cheekily raised eyebrow.

“Ummm, no.” Daniel’s embarrassment returned. “I don’t have any of that either.” Daniel lifted his arms and tried to unobtrusively sniff his armpits, much to Jack’s glee.

“Oh no,” the younger man reassured him quickly, “that’s good. It stains the clothes. Good, natural sweat is much easier to get out of the fabrics than all that chemical crap.” He shooed the archaeologist into the bathroom with a flick of his hands and started to rifle through the racks of clothing, pulling out garments, considering them, placing them together and then either spreading them on the bed or replacing them in their allotted slot. Jack watched him with growing horror as outfit after outfit made its way onto the bed. Davin caught his reflected expression in the mirror and laughed a beautiful, musical laugh. Jack knew his Danny had the best laugh in the world; it had the ability to reduce Jack to a puddle of sappy goo, but it really seemed this beautiful, personable young man had a deep throaty giggle that was a close second.

“Jack, listen, I’m sure Mac or Maddy wouldn’t mind if you visited while Daniel and I play ‘dress up’. I’ll look after him, I promise,” Davin said genuinely. “There’s bound to be some kind of cake or pastry in the kitchen, Maddy doesn’t know the meaning of diet,” he continued ruefully, patting his washboard flat stomach.

Jack looked towards the bathroom, uncertainly, knowing that Daniel would whip his ass if he thought Jack was hesitating on his behalf. But Jack’d had his lover back in his arms for less than a day and felt loathe to let him out of his sight. This feeling was compounded as Daniel emerged from the bathroom, clad only in the skin-tight boxers that left little or nothing to the imagination. Davin let out a long, low whistle.

“Fuck, Daniel, I mean it, guy. You could make a mint in my biz. How old are you? 30?”

“He’s forty and see what I mean about the hotness?” Jack interjected before Daniel could fudge. Daniel had always looked younger than his years, but recently he had been working hard on his strength and fitness, helped by Teal’c and of course by Jack, too. The pay off was a body to die for; broad, muscular chest with defined pectorals narrowing to an almost flat stomach with the indication of a six pack slightly overlaid by a little belly that frustrated the hell out of Daniel, but that Jack loved to kiss and lick. Narrow hips led to powerful thighs and endless legs that, right now, were stirring some serious interest in Jack’s groin area. Leaning back slightly to take his fill of Daniel’s tight, tight ass encased in all that spandex, Jack was seriously in his happy place.

“Jaaack, don’t,” Daniel complained at his lover’s gloating pride. “I’m sorry, Davin, when I look in the mirror I seriously don’t see what Jack sees. I think he has rose-colored contacts.”

Davin looked over at Jack who gave a ‘whadda ya gonna do with him’ shrug. The young model shook his head in disbelief. Without another word he maneuvered Daniel across to the oversized mirror that took up almost one wall of the room and turned him to face it. In a swift and graceful move Davin stripped his own t shirt over his head and stood next to Daniel, pointing at their reflections as they stood side by side. Daniel felt his mouth go a little dry as he looked at the young man’s body reflected back at him. There was not an ounce of spare flesh anywhere; it was a truly masculine body. This was not the fey androgyny that Daniel expected from a fashion model, but the taut muscular physique of a real man. He wasn’t beefcake by any means, but every muscle was sharply delineated and in perfect proportion.

“I’m twenty five, Daniel and I would love, love to be able to look like you do.” Davin drew a hand across Daniel’s chest and shoulders, outlining the musculature he coveted. “And you’re fuckin’ forty! God!” Davin shook his head in amazement. “There are guys of twenty in my industry who would give their left nut to look like you do. I could get you work tomorrow, guaranteed.”

Flushing pink with pleasure, Daniel looked over his shoulder at Jack. The older man was beaming with pride and was actually rather pleased with himself, too. His green eyed monster stayed firmly under control even though Davin continued to manhandle Daniel, turning him this way and that as he explained what designers were looking for. Jack knew the model wasn’t interested in Daniel and he also knew, with a rush of validation, that Davin wasn’t Daniel’s type either; he, Jack, was Daniel’s type; his one and only and the realization made Jack warm inside.

A movement over his left shoulder pinged Jack’s peripheral vision and made his focus return to the room. Simon had come up behind him and was looking over Jack’s shoulder at the fetching tableau made by the two semi-naked men in front of the mirror.

“Look pretty good together, don’t they, Jack,” the tall man breathed into Jack’s ear, his lips almost close enough for a kiss.

Jack rolled his eyes and took a step forward into the room, putting three feet of clear floor between his backside and Simon’s groin. The man had been close enough for Jack to feel the press of his burgeoning hard-on as he ground it against Jack’s ass and the colonel wasn’t at all impressed with de’Vere’s behavior.

“We’re going down to the kitchen,” he told Daniel and Davin as he came up between the two men, slinging his arms around their shoulders and grinning at them in the mirror. “Be good, play nice and I’ll expect a fashion show when I get back.” Turning his head to Daniel’s he pressed a long luxuriant kiss on his lips, making the younger man’s head flop back onto Jack’s shoulder. He gave a surreptitious wink to his lover and then planted a wet smacker on Davin’s cheek, before ruffling his thick hair.

“We’ll take photos, Jack,” Davin called after him cheekily.

“See that you do, Dav, see that you do.” Jack strode out of the room, planning on visiting Maddy in her kitchen kingdom and determined that, one way or another, he was going to put an end to the frankly ridiculous behavior of his ex-lover.

“Where are you going, Jack?” Simon purred as Jack took a left turn along the corridor that led to the stairs. “Master suite’s this way.” He curled his hand around Jack’s bicep and tried to guide the colonel towards his bedroom. But for all his extra two inches in height and his greater bulk de’Vere had lost a lot of muscle tone flying a desk and Jack’s superior strength stopped Simon in his tracks as Jack refused to be hauled anywhere.

“I’m going to see Maddy and reconnoitre for cake. Why, Simon, where are you going?” Jack could see Simon was pissed at his refusal, but he was determined not to be in anything even close to a compromising situation with the man until he had made himself abundantly clear on the topic of their past love affair. At first Jack had found Si’s attentions flattering; the fact that after all this time Simon still held a torch for him was gratifying. But as soon as he’d started treating Daniel with disrespect any remembered affection had swiftly gone out of the window. Simon needed to realize; while their love affair had been deep and true at the time, it was just that, an affair. Daniel was Jack’s soul mate and, if it were possible, would by now have been Jack’s husband. Jack was never again going to allow his own stupidity to endanger the single most important relationship of his life.

“I can ring down for cake, Jack. We can have tea in my study; You know, the room next to my bedroom,” de’Vere said archly as he chased Jack down the first flight of stairs, sure that if Jack could just be made to remember how good it was had been between them, he would drop the pretty academic as quickly as Simon would drop Davin. A few well placed phone calls and Jack would be permanently based in Britain and they could start where they’d left off, only without the complication of dangerous missions in hostile countries.

Jack gave a deep sigh that should have tipped Simon off to his mood, but the Lord was too far gone in his day dream to pay any attention. “Come on, Jack, let’s not pretend. You don’t have to play hard to get with me, I’m a sure thing.”

“Well guess what, Simon, I’m not!” With a heated glare that would melt stone, Jack turned away from the gob-smacked man and double timed it down the main staircase, across the huge hallway and through the door into the kitchens.

The scullery corridor quickly opened up through a heavy swing door into the cavernous room that housed the Castle kitchen. The stone walls and huge fireplace lay testament to its significance in the history of the ancient building. Fire blackened brickwork delineated a bread oven and a large wrought iron spit still stood ready to roast a whole pig or half an oxen, although it hadn’t been called to do so for over a century. Now, alongside the polished copper saucepans of every conceivable size were a microwave, a toaster and a top of the range barrista style coffee maker. An oil-fired Aga had replaced the open fire for cooking and a huge kettle on one of the heating plates puffed steam up the chimney. A huge rustic table dominated the center of the room, its golden Scots pine top scrubbed to a creamy whiteness, the surface pockmarked with the gouges and cuts of myriad knives over many centuries. Seated at the table, surrounded by piles of receipts, was a small round woman, no more than five feet tall. Her apple face was topped by a pile of white hair that had been crafted into a complex bun. Tiny tendrils had escaped and floated around her brow and temples like wisps of cloud in a summer sky. At the noisy entrance into her domain, Maddy’s eyes shot an irritated glare in their direction which quickly mutated into a delighted smile that lit her up from the inside.

“Jonny! Och, Jonny, mo giollan bòidheach,” she crooned as she spread her arms to welcome the prodigal. Simon winced at the use of the Gaelic endearment, knowing that although he believed Jack to be his beautiful boy, Maddy had been the one to use it first.

Maddy either missed or ignored the Laird’s scowl as she lavished hugs and kisses on Jack.

“Oh, Maddy, me darlin’,” Jack chuckled, lacing his speech with a cod Irish brogue. “How are you, you old fishwife.”

Maddy gave a distinctly girlish giggle and landed a not so girlish punch to Jack’s shoulder which he reeled from with a melodramatic ‘oof’. “Now don’t be rude ta an auld woman, Jonny. Ye shud be bowing down and asking ma forgiveness for being awa so long and fer being in this house for over a day before ye came ta see yer Maddy.”

Jack clutched his heart and gave a deep bow, shaking his head in a comedic parody of remorse. “I ask your forgiveness, my lady,” he intoned formally and then spoiled it by looking back up at her with a cheeky grin and twinkling eyes.

“Ach,” Maddy sniffed, “Ye’re forgiven I suppose.” She squealed as Jack lifted her up, planted a warm kiss to each of her rosy cheeks and hugged her to him in a show of true affection.

“Aww, Mad’s, I missed you,” he yelled as he danced her around the table, her feet dangling a foot off the ground.

“Ye missed ma cake more, I think, ye rapscallion,” Maddy laughed giddily as she pounded on Jack’s shoulders in a failed attempt to make him let her down.

“Cake? Cake, you say?” Jack grinned as he placed her gently back in her seat. “Well, if there did happen to be cake…” His open innocent gaze soon morphed into laughter as he slung himself into the chair opposite and leaned on the aged surface of the table, his chin loosely cradled in his hands. He watched happily as Maddy began to move around her domain, looking over at him every few seconds as if to check he was really there.

Over by the doorway Simon stood forgotten as he watched the interplay between Jack and the woman who had been like a mother to him since he was a teenager. He felt torn with jealousy seeing these two people interact so naturally, wondering when he’d lost that relationship with the cook and marveled that Jack, after being absent for a quarter of a century, could just pick it back up without a hitch. A childish petulance (which never seemed to be far from the surface since Jack had appeared back in his life six months earlier) bubbled up and engaged his mouth before he could think rationally.

“We haven’t got time to visit, Mrs. McNally,” Simon barked unpleasantly. “I’d like tea and cake for two in my study, please. The colonel and I have important issues to discuss.”

Jack turned to look at his ex-lover with an expression of incredulity. In the time that Jack had spent with Simon at the castle he’d never heard the Lord speak to any of his staff like that and particularly not Maddy. The staff at Castle Blair were family; many of them had been part of Simon’s life since he was born, and Jack was disgusted that de’Vere could behave like that towards any of them. Jack’s irritation with Simon was swiftly turning to anger and he didn’t want Maddy to be witness to some of the choice things he had to say to the man. O’Neill schooled his features and looked back at the cook who was fighting with some choice words of her own it seemed. Repressing a grin at the sparks that were flickering in the old woman’s pale blue eyes Jack stood and walked over to her, placing an arm around her shoulders.

“How about you make us up a tray with your second best cake and a pot of tea and I’ll run it up to his Lordship’s study,” Jack said quietly, shooting her an apologetic glance. “Then, when he’s done with his very important issues, I’ll come back and you can break out the good cake.” He planted a small kiss on her forehead. “I’ll bring my Danny with me so you can fall as much in love with him as I am.”

The slam of the kitchen door as Simon left told Jack that his underlying message had been received, but he wasn’t so naive as to believe that de’Vere had inwardly digested the sentiment. There was going to have to be a hard conversation; at least it would be hard for Simon. Jack had got over his feelings for the other man a long time ago and now it was time for Simon to let go, too. Jack shook his head and turned back to Maddy who seemed to be vacillating between anger and hurt.

“How long’s he been like this, Mad’s?” Jack asked. “He always was an arrogant SOB, but that,” he crooked a thumb over his shoulder, “is not the man I used to know.” Jack looked back at the still swinging door with a frown.

Maddy put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. “He came back from a visit to America about six months ago with a bee in his bonnet. He’s been like a bear we’a sore heed e’er since.”

Jack sighed deeply. That was what he’d been afraid of. Their meeting in DC had not been planned and although Jack had enjoyed catching up with Simon it seemed the other man had got more out of it than Jack had. He watched distractedly as Maddy put together a tea tray with the ease of fifty years of experience.

Maddy looked over at Jack, fixing him with a shrewd gaze. “Ye know something about that, Jonny, don’t ye.”

“Yes Maddy, I do.” Jack nodded, picking up the tray. “I’m going to sort it out one way or another.” He gave her an affectionate smile, “And then I’ll be back and I’ll bring my own giollan bòidheach. Then we’ll see if you don’t forget about me altogether.”

With a chuckle at her disbelieving expression Jack backed through the swing door and trudged up the stairs towards Simon’s study, feeling like he’d prefer to be facing a battalion of Jaffa than going to have a ‘talk’ with his ex-lover.

******

Daniel looked at the Polaroid Davin was holding out to him and shook his head in disbelief.

“Tell me the truth, Dav.” He frowned. “There’s some kind of filter on that lens. I do not look like that.”

Davin snorted and spread the picture with the five others on the bed. “Daniel, I don’t believe you don’t see this every time you look in a mirror.” The younger man picked out a shot of Daniel leaning nonchalantly against the four poster, wearing a silver gray three piece suit, the white shirt beneath open to the top button of the vest. Davin had encouraged Daniel to take off his glasses and the overall effect was quite literally stunning.

The young model had long been interested in the process of taking pictures from behind the camera as well as in front and he knew enough to be sure that the camera loved Daniel. “If your Jack saw you in this he’d come in his pants,” he snorted as he pointed to another picture of Daniel in a sky blue satin shirt. 

Daniel had to admit that the outfits Davin had chosen to photograph were the ones that looked the best. Some of the designer clothes in that closet were just wrong for Daniel’s shape, others just too ‘out there’. But Davin’s professional eye meant that the combinations he had chosen to capture looked really, really good and Daniel was amazed.

He had never really taken that much care in choosing his wardrobe, buying clothes more for expediency than design or trend. He knew Jack loved to see him in jeans that were slightly tighter than he would have liked and that the older man got excited when Daniel was ‘suited and booted’ in his dark three piece, but that was as far as his interest went. He also knew that Jack’s insistence that he should wear predominantly blue came from his lovers near obsession with the color of his eyes. But the designer garments with their luxury fabrics, impeccable cut and attention to detail, were an eye-opener for a man who bought the same $10 t shirts from Kmart year after year. ‘Maybe,’ he thought, ‘it’s time to start spending some of that exorbitant salary the Air Force gives me.’ Daniel had no doubt Jack would be very pleased if he did. If he was honest with himself he had always seen designer clothes as an act of vanity and his own self worth had always come from his intellect rather than his looks. However, having seen himself through Davin’s eyes he was beginning to change his opinion.

“I’m fucking exhausted,” Daniel sighed as he flopped back on the bed, wrapped in an elegant satin robe that was protecting both his rapidly dwindling modesty and his bare skin from the rather cool air.

Davin snorted. “This is nothing. Photo shoots are mostly annoying – hurry up and wait; wait for the photographer, the stylist, the hairdresser, the makeup artist, the art director…” He giggled and lay down next to Daniel, propping his head on his hand. “It’s catwalk that knackers you. I did Milan last year and had 13 shows in 2 days, most of them back to back.” He ran his fingers through his thick black hair. “You can’t eat or drink because they all want you showing your best muscle definition, so you have a constant headache,” he explained. “I need corrective lenses so I wear contacts for work, but after 14 hours your eyes feel like you want to scratch them out and then there are the weird jobs…” Davin rolled his eyes.

“Weird?” Daniel asked with a small frown.

“Yeah, the ones where they want to paint you blue or draw hieroglyphs on your legs. Then you have to get it all scrubbed off in the back of a taxi as you are whizzed around a city that hates traffic. You end up raw and breaking out and then the designers call you names and threaten not to pay you.” The model flopped back on the pillow and laughed. “I’m a big enough name for that not to happen anymore, but I know kids that are new to the biz that end up owing so much money to agents.” He sighed and turned to look at Daniel, the full force of his green eyes intent on the older man’s face. “I suppose this is all so much crap compared to what you do. I know you can’t talk about your work; Simon is very firm about keeping secrets, but I imagine you face real danger every time you go on a mission.” He extended his index finger and pointed at a large, pale, star shaped scar on Daniel’s left shoulder. “That looks like it was pretty serious.”

Daniel looked down to where Davin was pointing and then nodded wryly. “Yeah; well I didn’t die from that one,” he commented without thinking.

“You mean…” the model’s face paled. “You mean you’ve died and got brought back?”

“Mmmm,” Daniel cringed at his indiscretion. “I have, yes, more than once, but that’s all I can say.”

“God, Daniel,” Davin choked out, his eyes wide, the idea of Daniel dying just too awful for to contemplate. “You should really think about modeling, it’s much safer.”

“Oh, I don’t know. By the sounds of it some of those designers are more frightening than anything I face in the field,” Daniel replied, trying to lighten the atmosphere.

Within moments they were both in fits of laughter as Davin started to do an outrageous impersonation of a famous designer that Daniel had actually heard of. They laughed until the tears ran down their cheeks and Daniel realized that Davin was the first person that he felt able to let his guard down with, besides Jack of course, and it felt great to have a friend outside academia and the SGC.

Suddenly the younger man was up on his feet and moving clothes around in the closet with a single minded intensity.

“I know it’s here somewhere. God, why didn’t I think of this earlier?” With a loud, ‘ah ha!’ Davin turned back to a very confused Daniel, holding out a suit bag. “You have to try this on, Daniel,” he said excitedly. “Jack is going to get a real kick out of this.”

Curiosity overtaking him, Daniel pulled down the zip on the heavy duty carrier and pulled out the garment inside. It was immediately obvious it was a dress uniform and the color singled it out as Air Force. “Is this Simon’s?” Daniel queried, a little unsure as to why the model thought he should try it on and why Jack would like it.

Davin pulled the jacket fully out of the cover and turned the lapel to face Daniel. The older man’s eyes grew round and he reached out with trepidation to touch the name badge that was displayed there.

“O’Neill…This is Jack’s uniform?” Daniel took the jacket off the hanger and spread it on the bed. The medal rack was large, but nowhere near the size that Jack wore on his colonel’s uniform. He looked over at Davin for more information.

“From what I understand, Jack left it behind when he went home that summer. He was a captain then… I think that’s what Simon said.”

Daniel noticed the double bars on the epaulettes and nodded. “That’s captain’s insignia. Jack was promoted through the ranks very quickly,” he added with pride.

“But he’s still a colonel, right?” Davin asked.

Daniel nodded. “Yes. He is still in a field combat team, but I think if he’d been willing to fly a desk he would be a Brigadier or Major General by now.”

“Come on, try it on,” Davin encouraged. “It fits me so it’ll fit you.”

Daniel was about to ask why the young man had worn Jack’s old uniform, but was waylaid by his enthusiastic help in getting out of the robe. It was the work of only a few minutes to get Daniel into the Dress Blues and in front of the mirror. He looked at himself critically and had to admit that he looked good, very good. The jacket was a little snug around the shoulders and the trousers an inch or two too long, but over all the uniform fitted. Davin had found a pale blue shirt and plain tie to finish off the effect and Daniel was sure he would pass muster on any base.

 “Jack must have lost a bit of bulk over the years,” Daniel mused. “Usually his stuff is too narrow for me.”

Davin gave a filthy giggle. “Probably all that extra-curricular aerobic exercise.”

Daniel grinned, “Yeah, that’d do it I suppose.”

Moments later Davin had the camera back in his hands and was shouting directions that Daniel was trying hard to follow whilst keeping a look of gravitas on his face.

******

“Okay, Si. Time to stop all this bullshit,” Jack placed the tea tray onto the heavy oak captain’s desk and turned to face his friend. “You’re acting like a grade A ass and it’s starting to piss me off.”

Simon looked genuinely upset at Jack’s outburst. “Jonny, baby, I’ve never stopped loving you, wanting you,” he opined. “When I saw you in DC I knew it was fate. After all these years we were in the same place at the same time.” He walked over to Jack and he placed both hands on his shoulders. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it, too. It’s still there, Jack, everything we felt for one another.”

Jack gave an irritated snort, “In your head perhaps, Simon. But if you’d bothered to take the aforementioned head outta your ass you would have seen that I am deeply in love with another guy. Even you can’t be pig headed enough to miss that.”

Jack tried to move away from de’Vere, but the taller man refused to be moved, gripping O’Neill’s shoulders with a painful grasp. Jack could see the effect his proximity was having on Simon and his irritation rapidly began to ramp up to annoyance. “Simon, fercryinoutloud, it’s been twenty-five years. So much has happened, to both of us.” He twisted out of the Lord’s grasp and took a step back. “We’re not the same men we were then.”

The expression on Simon’s face told Jack he wasn’t getting through, but he was at a loss just what to say to convince the man that there would never again be a relationship between them.

“Jack, you just need time here with me; time to remember how good we were together…”

Jack gave a disgusted groan. “Simon, we were kids with dangerous jobs who didn’t know whether the next mission was going to be our last. We loved each other, but it was never going to last. We both knew that and that’s why we managed to keep it going for as long as we did. If we’d had to sit down and take a look at what a relationship really meant we’d have run so far and so fast…”Jack scrubbed his hand through his silver hair, in frustration. “I’m no good at this talking stuff. If Daniel were here he could convince you, no problem.”

“Fucking geek,” Simon growled under his breath and then looked up in shocked surprise from the floor where Jack’s lightening fast thrust had thrown him on his ass.

“He’s my geek and only I get to call him that,” Jack glowered as he loomed over Simon. Anger and disbelief skittered across the Englishman’s face as he looked up at his ex-lover.

“He’s not military, Jack. He can never understand you the way I can,” Simon pleaded. “He’s never been behind enemy lines with you, stood side by side with only a sidearm between you and death. He can’t know you like I do.” The Lord got to his feet, rubbing absently at the aching shoulder that paid testament to Jack’s continued skills in hand-to-hand combat. “He’s a pretty boy, Jack, but he’s just a weak, book loving liability and if I were your CO I would never let you take him into the field, no matter how safe it was.”

Jack’s anger left as quickly as it had arrived and he found himself sitting back on the desk with tears of laughter pouring down his face. Whoever Simon had been to him all those years ago he was nothing but a bitter man now and his lack of understanding of the worth of Daniel Jackson was simply laughable. “God, Si, you have no idea.”

de’Vere sneered at Jack and sat down heavily on an armchair, his brows knitted together in dismay at the gales of laughter coming from his friend.

“That man,” Jack continued, “has saved my life more times than anyone else in the whole of my career. Not just with his intellect either but with firearms and with his own self sacrifice.”

Simon shook his head, “I don’t believe you, Jack. We were in that cave in Bosnia together for three days. I looked after you, gave you my rations and when they came for us, I killed for you.”

“I know,” Jack nodded, his laughter dying with the memory. “And I’ll always be grateful and I’ll never forget it. But Daniel has literally died for me, Si, and not just once or twice. Thank God each time we’ve been able to drag him back from the brink.” Jack walked over and stood in front of Simon. “Me and you knew each other for just over eighteen months. We were lovers for ten. Daniel and I have been friends for four years now and lovers for two of those. Please believe me when I tell you there will never be anyone else for me.” A smile warmed Jack’s features as he thought of his soul mate. “He’s it, Si, and I’m sorry, buddy, that you have wasted so much time waiting.” He reached down and squeezed de’Vere’s shoulder. “I love him, he has my heart,” Jack tried to explain.

Feeling his chance to renew his affair with Jack slipping out of his fingers, Simon clutched at Jack’s hand. “Well, then how about a fuck, for old time’s sake.” Seeing the shutters go up on Jack’s eyes he hurried on, hoping to snare Jack’s body even if his heart was taken. “I’ll bottom for you, you know you always loved that and Daniel is busy with Davin. Hey, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were going at it like minks right now. Davin is a sweet fuck.”

The look of pure disgust on Jack’s face sliced into Simon’s belly and he knew he had lost.

“I thought I knew you,” Jack spat at him, “I don’t know why Davin has stayed with you. I actually think he may have feelings for you, but that kid is worth ten of you. He deserves better and I’ll be sure to let Davin know that.”Jack turned to leave and then swung back around. “Danny and I will have to stay here tonight, but we’ll be out of your hair in the morning and if I can persuade him then Davin will be leaving with us, too.” Jack strode out of the room, slamming the heavy oak door behind him, leaving a shaken Simon in his wake.

*****

Only minutes later Jack walked back into Davin’s bedroom to find a sight he never would have expected in a million years. Daniel was standing resplendent in Class A’s complete with captain’s bars leaning nonchalantly against the bank of closet doors at the back of the room. He wore a cover and a pair of aviators and was the personification of one of Jack’s most erotic fantasies. He felt his mouth go dry and his cock rear from flaccid to iron hard in two seconds flat. He watched as Daniel noticed him, flushed, and then drew himself up to his full height. With measured step his young lover strode across the room, stood at full attention in front of him and gave a text book salute.

“Captain Jackson, reporting for duty, sir,” he rapped out and then stood waiting. Daniel’s impassive expression didn’t give away how concerned he was that Jack might not approve of him using his uniform for fancy dress. The idea of a little role play, however, was seriously hot. While Daniel had never really considered domination scenes his cup of tea, the idea of being ordered around by ‘The Colonel’ while dressed in this uniform was hitting quite a few kink buttons he hadn’t been aware he had.

“Fuuuucckk, Danny,” Jack moaned as his libido leapt into high gear.

Davin grinned as he watched the two men. He’d known Jack would like Daniel in full Dress Blues and he could see they’d both forgotten he was there. He felt a pang of bitter sweet emotion as he saw not only lust but real love, deep and abiding, in every heated glance and whispered word. Jack’s eyes shone with passion and Davin felt envious of Daniel’s connection with this vibrant, powerful older man.

Daniel relaxed his stance and pulled off the sunglasses. His pupils were blown wide open and the heat of his gaze made Jack shudder. Time seemed to stand still and it was only when Davin made a failed attempt to leave the room unobtrusively that Jack’s single minded focus on Daniel was broken. As he looked past Daniel’s shoulder to where the young model stood in the doorway he caught sight of the lapel badge on the uniform. A shocked look of recognition skittered over his face.

“This is my old uniform. Where did you find it?” he asked Davin.

The model shrugged and pointed to the closet. “It was in there when I first started staying here. I knew it would fit Daniel because it fits me.”

Daniel realized that Davin had said this to him earlier and began to get an uneasy feeling about the implication of that statement.

“Why were you wearing my uniform?” Jack asked, also quickly coming to a conclusion that left him feeling unsettled.

For the first time since they had known him Davin seemed unhappy and ill at ease. “Well…erm…”

“You wore it for Simon, didn’t you,” Daniel stated gently, hating that the fun, bubbly personality seemed to have been sucked out of the young man by the revelation. Davin gave a sad smile and nodded. “He likes me to top him with it on. I pretend to be Jack,” he mumbled, his eyes filling. “But it was just a game.”

Jack was shocked at the lengths Simon had gone to in order to continue his false hopes about resuming their relationship. Incredulous that the beautiful young man could allow himself to be treated so badly Jack walked over to Davin, placed a hand on his shoulder and shook him gently. “Danny and me would both say that games can be fun if you both agree to them, but to ask you to pretend to be an ex-lover…” Jack’s expression showed his distaste for Simon’s behavior.  “…it’s disrespectful to you. Why would you let him do that?”

Daniel moved to stand next to his newest friend, already knowing what his answer would be and wishing he could mitigate Davin’s pain.

Davin shrugged dejectedly, “Because I love him.”

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Through A Glass, Darkly XIII

The sounds of smashing glass and an expletive laden yell brought Mac to the door of Simon’s study. He entered without knocking to find the Laird leaning against the hearth, his arms braced against the warm yellow stone; head slumped down between his shoulders. The contents of the crystal glass, now broken on the floor, was running freely down the wall and a reading lamp was hanging precariously by its wire off the edge of the desk. Mac winced. The crystal was part of an antique set that had been in the house for centuries. Now he would have to set his friend at Christies the task of finding a replacement.

“Was that entirely necessary?” he asked, his tone slightly condescending.

“Yes, it fucking was!” Simon twisted around and scowled at the old man, who, he was irritated to see, was not in the least intimidated. “Tell Maddy it’ll just be me for dinner tomorrow. Our ‘guests’ are leaving in the morning.”

“Och, laddie, what’ve ye done?” Mac walked slowly across the room, righted the lamp and then moved over to begin clearing the shards of glass from the ancient Oriental rug.

“Me? ME? What makes you think it was something I’ve done?” Simon’s face was puce with frustrated rage. “And what makes you think you can speak to me like that,” he ranted, hitting out at the nearest object which once again happened to be the unfortunate lamp. This time instead of hanging it bounced across the dark oak, taking the desk set with it, spilling the contents of the heavy glass ink bottle all over the same carpet that had received the shattered glass.

“Now,” Mac barked loudly, “that’s quite enough.” He rounded on his employer, fists planted firmly on his hips and was pleased to see that the younger man had the decency to look abashed. “You’re a grown man, not a bairn and I won’t let ye behave like one. Now whischt yer blather, sit yersel doon and tell me what’s happened.”

Simon thumped into the armchair gracelessly and scrubbed his hand across his face. “I’ve made a mess of everything, Mac. I thought Jack…”

Mac sighed deeply. He’d been afraid of this; had known that Simon would not let this go without making a mess of it. “Cud ye not see how much he loves his Danny? Yer not blind are ye? Stupid perhaps…”

Simon looked up and Mac was saddened by the look of loss he saw his employer’s eyes. Although he wanted the younger man to move on from his long term infatuation with Jack O’Neill he was a little taken aback at the depth of sorrow he recognized in the storm gray depths; it was the same look Mac saw reflected back in the mirror every morning.

“Jack’s asking Davin to go with them,” Simon said quietly, surprised at how much that stung. The model had been his companion, his boyfriend he supposed, for over a year and that was the longest relationship he’d had since the time with Jack over a quarter of a century before. He’d used Davin, he recognized that. If he was honest he’d treated his lover pretty badly, but there was something about their affair that had smacked of…more. There was an ease he hadn’t found with anyone else. Simon frowned, “I wish he wouldn’t…Go ,that is.”

“Who?” Mac inquired, puzzled, “Master Jonny? I’d’ve thought ye’d finally realised that boat’s sailed.”

“No,” Simon snapped petulantly, “Davin.” He looked down at his hands and picked self-consciously at his impeccably manicured nails. “I don’t want him to go.”

Mac looked carefully at the sad, spoiled man in front of him and began to smile. He’d never been really sure about Mr. Davin Garvin. Mac’s natural inclination with any of the pretty boys Simon hooked up with was to mistrust their motives and in most circumstances he’d been right. But Davin had always managed to stay on the right side of the old man. He didn’t love him the way he loved Master Jonny, but the boy had something about him that made Mac keep taking another look. Now he was beginning to understand why that was. Despite himself Simon was falling for the young man and Mac was getting the idea it was reciprocated. The old man was overjoyed.

“Have ye told him that?” he asked gruffly, not letting on what he had surmised.

“No,” Simon replied, keeping his head down. “There’s no point. Once Jack’s spoken to him he’ll be gone.” Once again the Laird raised his head and looked directly at Mac. The sullen petulance was gone and he looked all of his 50 years; old, tired and defeated. “I’ve fucked up, Mac.”

Mac walked over to him and placed a warm hand on his shoulder. “If yon man cares about ye then he’ll want ta talk ta ye, not get it second hand. I think he deserves that at least.” Mac shook Simon gently. “I think ye need ta spend an hour or two thinking aboot what ye want from that boy and then do him the courtesy of telling him how ye really feel. He’ll listen but din’nae leave it too long, otherwise he’ll be awa and it’ll be too late.”

Simon saw the pain of experience in Mac’s eyes and felt a surge of love for this crusty old man who had been there for him through so much and had put up with his bad behavior for so long. He wasn’t sure what he could say to Davin that would persuade him to stay. He was sure that Jack’s argument would be compelling. After all, Simon had given him all the ammunition he needed. But the sharp stab of regret that accompanied the thought of Davin leaving Castle Blair gave him pause. What if the model meant more to him than he thought; what then?

Nodding to himself Mac left the room to find cleaning equipment, leaving a strangely still and silent Simon to his introspection. The old man had high hopes for what would come of his ponderings, but he thought he might try to find the other men and have a quiet word, just in case.

******

The pale afternoon sun was struggling to make a difference to the underlying gloom of the overcast, wet day. Fallen leaves littered the ground under the mixed planting of bare deciduous trees and tall, brooding evergreens. The skeletal husks of fist sized pinecones bounced along the path, helped on their way by the toe of Jack’s boot. Dressed in a long waxed coat, Hunter Wellington’s and a flat tweed cap Jack looked every inch the Laird of the Manor, his borrowed clothes fitting him as well as his BDUs. Daniel looked at him in undisguised admiration. Although the outfit looked vaguely ridiculous, Jack owned whatever he wore and made it look effortless and right; even down to the hilarious plus fours he insisted were de rigueur for the golf course. Daniel envied him his comfort in his own skin. Despite evidence to the contrary - in the form of the handful of Polaroid snaps that Jack had confiscated from Davin (for his personal study of course) - Daniel always felt self-conscious dressed in anything other than jeans and a t shirt. Even his formal suit felt stuffy and over blown. He snorted quietly as he reviewed what he was wearing for a walk in the woods. The sheepskin-lined leather flying jacket, gray silk tee and stone washed jeans were all the new season from some high end designer. The ensemble, Davin had gleefully told him, would set him back over £5000 at retail prices. Daniel shook his head. That was nearly $10,000 on one outfit. The calf length black motorcycle boots were bespoke, made by a cobbler in London for Davin’s long, slender feet and they just happened to fit Daniel perfectly. He didn’t ask how much they’d cost but the model had mentioned that a pair of brogues from the same maker had set him back over £1000 so Daniel had a good idea that his entire outfit was bordering on $15,000. He was almost scared to breathe in these clothes  and he’d had to be pried out of the Castle by Jack whilst being waved off by a laughing Davin, who insisted that clothes were meant to be worn and that they had been ‘freebies’ so therefore had no intrinsic value.

The squeeze of Jack’s warm hand against his brought Daniel back to his immediate surroundings. “Hey,” Jack said gently, “you okay?”

Daniel smiled back at his lover and nodded. “Yeah, just freaking about getting these boots wet.”

Jack snorted inelegantly. “They’re just boots, Danny, and you’re the one who wanted to walk.”

The younger man hummed in agreement although he hadn’t so much wanted to walk as to get out of the Castle for a while. He needed to get Jack on his own so that they could perhaps begin to unravel the mystery that had begun in La Troza. “Tell me about the kids you saw at the beach house,” he asked casually, loosing Jack’s hand and sliding his arm around his lover’s waist, drawing him closer. He felt Jack stiffen for a moment and then relax against him.

Jack had known this talk was coming, but hadn’t really prepared for it to be right now. He sighed and leaned into Daniel’s touch gratefully. This was going to be difficult. He had an hunch that both kids were linked to Daniel in some way; that they **were** , in fact, Daniel. How that was possible he had no idea, but the memory of the teen and his bound wrists made Jack shiver and he decided he would begin with the easier of the two first.

“The first one was a little kid no more than seven, I’d say. He had a real mop of blond hair and bright blue eyes. He said…”

Daniel jerked back in surprise. “He spoke to you?”

Jack shrugged. “Yeah, they both did. Not much and nothing that made any sense to me at the time.” He looked over at Daniel who nodded back at him supportively. “He just said, ’Is it time to go, Daddy’.” Jack looked over at Daniel, but didn’t really see him, just the picture of the little boy overlaid on his lover’s face. “I should have known he was you, but when he called me ‘Daddy’ all I could think was Charlie.” Jack bit his lip distractedly. “You looked a lot like him, if that was really you…then…if you see what I mean.” Jack kicked at another pine cone and watched it careen down the path with a certain satisfaction. All this stuff was making his head ache and now he had to talk about it, too.

“I’m pretty sure it was me,” Daniel agreed. “After all, with the experience of the 21 year old me, I think it’s a pretty good bet that everything that’s happened is linked to me.”

Jack could see Daniel’s mind racing ahead and although he wanted answers as much as the younger man, he wanted to get through the inevitable discussion first. “Where were you living at seven?” he queried.

“Erm…Well, still in Egypt,” Daniel replied distractedly. “I’m just trying to remember where the dig site was so that I can place…” A sudden look of recognition passed over Daniel’s face and he stopped in his tracks. “Oh my God!” he exclaimed. “I was seven the first time Dad allowed me to have my own corner in the excavation of the tomb.”

Jack gazed at his lover with worried eyes. “That tomb?” he asked carefully.

“Yeah,” Daniel smiled back sadly, “that tomb.”

Jack slid his arm around Daniel’s waist and pulled him to a gentle kiss. “We don’t have to do this, Daniel. Not right now.”

Daniel reciprocated the kiss and then walked over to the short thick trunk of a fallen tree lying on the ground. It had been protected from the damp weather by the canopy of pine needles above it. With only a passing moment of worry for his borrowed designer jeans he sat on the pitted surface pulling Jack down to join him.

“It’s okay, Jack. That was such an exciting time for me. I was just beginning to understand how important my parents’ work was and my own enthusiasm and excitement about archeology was just taking root. Dad had been promising I could have my own little corner to scrape in and I remember being so excited that I was up before morning prayer, dressed and sitting next to their cot when they woke up.” Daniel giggled at the memory. “You know what you called my ‘plant boy dance’?”

Jack rolled his eyes and then snorted a laugh. “Yeah?”

“Well, I was so excited I couldn’t sit still. As soon as my Dad opened his eyes I was there, bobbing up and down asking him if it was time.” Daniel’s expression grew soft with remembered affection. “He laughed so hard and said I should be part of one of the dancing troupes that performed in the town square. Oh, Jack, he was so proud of me. He told me that over and over. He presented me with my own trowel and brushes from his personal equipment and I felt so very grown up.”

Jack was captivated by the excitement the memory was conjuring for Daniel. His handsome face was alight with joy and suddenly Jack was overcome with relief that this particular remembrance was a good one. He’d been afraid that the visions he’d been shown of Daniel were all going to dredge up some awful periods in his lover’s life; that there would be nothing but pain to be had from the mysterious happenings affecting them both.

“I worked all day on my little section, trying to remember everything I’d been taught. Dad was off supervising the lifting of the cover stone…”

Jack watched as the dark shadow of that fateful artifact dulled Daniel’s sparkling eyes for a moment before it was chased away by the continuing joy of the story he was telling. Once again Jack was humbled by Daniel’s ability to push through the pain that had scarred his young life. Deep down Jack had an inkling the story attached to the teen was not going to be so easy to deal with and he decided they would save that discussion until they were safely back on their paradise island.

Daniel hadn’t noticed Jack’s moment of introspection, nor had he recognized his own foray into the pain that had been his companion for most of his life. He was too caught up in the recollection of that joyous time. “I was left to my own devices,” he continued. “The other diggers were too busy in their own sections to bother with mine.” The shine was back in his eyes again and Jack couldn’t help but grin back at the smile that beamed his way. “When Dad got back to me he checked what I’d done and I was so excited because I’d found some shards and a tiny bead. He hugged me so hard, Jack, and carried me on his shoulders through the dig like I’d discovered a burial hoard.” Daniel’s muscles were singing with energy, as if that love and excitement had been stored there for all those years just waiting for this chance to burst out of him. He flung his arms around Jack and squeezed him, kissing him with a passionate intensity that left Jack’s nerve endings sizzling with erotic heat.

“Whoa, Danny.” Jack’s lips tingled and he was leaning in for more when Daniel went very still next to him. At the sight of two tears rolling down Daniel’s face Jack thought his hopes for this memory had been too optimistic , but then he noticed the warm, happy smile that Daniel wore to go with them.

“I’d forgotten all about that day,” he explained as Jack tenderly stroked the wetness from his cheeks. “I think I’m beginning to understand what this is all about, Jack.” He turned to look into his lover’s face. “For whatever reason and by whatever agent I’m being given a chance to reclaim lost memories.” Daniel began to gesture wildly as he warmed to his theme and Jack just sat back and enjoyed the view.

“I think I needed to remember Russ; I needed to realize that what I have with you is the first relationship since then that I have truly given myself, trusted all that I am to another man. I didn’t recognize I’d done that with you, Jack.” Daniel held out his hands and Jack took them in his warm grasp, rubbing his calloused thumbs across the knuckles of his archeologist’s hands.

“Thank you,” Jack said quietly, his voice rough with emotion. “Thank you for trusting me with your heart. I’ll try not to betray that trust again.” Jack felt a stab of remorse for the way he’d behaved and his lack of belief in Daniel’s fidelity.

The younger man lifted their joined fists and, turning Jack’s large hands over, kissed his palms with dry, warm lips. “Aww, Jack. Knowing what we know now I think you can let yourself off the hook. There’s something going on here, something outside the norm and I wonder if we’ll ever know exactly what it is.” He pursed his lips and a little V appeared between his brows. “Do you think we should go back to the mountain? Perhaps we are being irresponsible. What if there’s some alien influence?”

Jack nodded distractedly. He’d been thinking about that since they first realised there was more to this than met the eye. His ‘colonel head’ said they should book back to the SGC as quickly as possible and get Janet and Carter involved in investigating what was going on. But his heart told him there was no danger. His sense of self-preservation had saved his life many times and there was nothing setting off his proximity alerts. It might be a mistake, but he was willing to take the chance that whatever was happening was only going to affect the two of them. He drew Daniel into the circle of his arms and kissed him passionately; pouring all the love and need he had for Daniel onto his lovers lips. Jack felt the younger man shiver and realised that his cheek was icy where it lay against Jack’s face.

“Let’s go visit with Maddy,” Jack murmured against Daniel’s ear. “I think she said something about chocolate cake when I was in the kitchen earlier.”

Jack laughed out loud at the bright spark that lit Daniel’s eyes. In short order the chocoholic Dr Jackson was dragging him up off the log and pulling him along the pathway around the loch and back towards the Castle.

 *****

Coffee and cake with Maddy had been a happy affair with Daniel learning all kinds of titbits about Jack’s early life in the Air Force, but the warmth of the kitchen and a surfeit of chocolate cake combined with the emotional drain of Daniel’s outpouring of memories had made the young man lethargic and drowsy. Jack had gently propelled him through the paneled corridors of the Castle to their room, stripped off his jeans and t-shirt and tumbled him into the bed. Within minutes Daniel had fallen into a deep dreamless sleep. Two hours later Jack had kissed him awake and reminded him that they were expected for dinner in less than an hour. Daniel had made the appropriate noises, but drifted off again into a comfortable drowse.

The sound of the dinner gong reverberating through the door pulled Daniel from his slumbers and for a moment he was disorientated. After a few moments the significance of the gong made him leap up from the bed and look around him with annoyance.

“Damn it, Jack. Why didn’t you come and wake me,” he groused to the empty room.

Finding his glasses on the bedside table he placed them on his nose and then remembered with a groan that his lover **had** been in and done exactly what he was complaining about. He couldn’t blame Jack for his inability to wake up.  Not wanting to keep anyone waiting Daniel quickly washed his face and scrubbed a little gel through his hair to make his bed-head look intentional. With a smile he noticed the blue satin shirt hanging on the door of the wardrobe. ‘Very subtle, Davin,’ he thought wryly, ‘NOT.’

He pulled on the snug designer jeans, teamed with the shirt (which even Daniel had to admit made his eyes look very blue) and zipped up the bespoke boots. With a last look in the mirror he strode quickly out of the room towards the staircase.

Turning the corner at the end of the hallway Daniel collided bodily with Simon and he noted that the older man looked sad and weary. Daniel knew he’d held out hope for a renewed relationship with Jack and despite the Lord’s rudeness the younger man couldn’t help feeling sorry for him.

“Dr. Jackson,” Simon said warily, unsure of his reception. de’Vere had spent a long time during the afternoon thinking on Mac’s words, trying to unravel the knot of feeling in his gut with regard to Davin and the chance that he might leave the next day.

“Please, call me Daniel.”

Simon was surprised at the friendliness of the young man in front of him. After his abrupt treatment of Jack’s lover he was expecting the same back. But Daniel was smiling at him with such openness in his brilliant blue eyes that the older man found himself temporarily dumbstruck. Now he came to look at him – really look – he was captivated. Whilst Davin was devastatingly good looking there was something luminous about Daniel that made him…The only word Simon could find was,

“Beautiful.”

“I’m sorry?”

Simon looked into Daniel’s puzzled eyes and then realized he’d said his thought out loud. His mind scrabbled for a moment for some glib, cutting comment, but he found himself simply telling the truth.

“You…It’s no wonder Jack loves you…You’re beautiful.”

Daniel’s face turned red with embarrassment. He shook his head and turned to walk away. Simon’s hand on his upper arm stopped him and he looked back over his shoulder.

“Please, Daniel. I know we haven’t got off on the best foot, but I just want to say I’m…I’m sorry. I was a right arsehole.”

Daniel’s guileless eyes burned back at him. “Yes, you were,” he replied. With a sigh and a tip of his head Daniel turned to face Simon and placed a warm hand on his shoulder.

“I can understand wanting to be with Jack,” he started softly. “The man is a force to be reckoned with. Irritating, opinionated, full of Alpha male bullshit and attitude, and the hottest, most tender lover I have ever had.” Daniel’s fingers squeezed their support as Simon’s chin dropped, sadness filling him for the man he knew he’d lost. “I envy you the time you had with him,” Daniel continued. “I’m jealous of the freedom you have right now, in the RAF, to have a gay relationship. You don’t realize how lucky you are to be able to have a man like Davin as your lover and not be worried every moment whether the whole fucking lot is going to come crashing around your ears because some bastard from the NID wants Jack’s head on a plate, or some disgruntled Marine wants to out the fag colonel or bash his geek.”

Simon was shocked at the mixture of anger and sadness that imbued Daniel’s words. The older man was well aware the regulations in the US were far less permissive than those he worked under and Jack would face dishonorable discharge or worse just for loving this man if they were ever found out.

“Fucking antediluvian regs,” he commented. His heart sped up at the brilliant smile that comment earned him and he was once again reminded of how special Jack’s lover was.

“I’m probably talking out of turn here,” Daniel smiled, “but that’s never stopped me before.” His eyes twinkled as he carried on. “Davin loves you, Simon, and I think you know that. You’ve been hiding behind this obsession with Jack for long enough.” Daniel gazed earnestly into Simon’s gray eyes. “You’ve treated him like crap and he’s still here. Doesn’t that tell you something?” Daniel cocked his head, waiting for Simon to respond.

The Laird scrubbed his hand through his thick black hair in a movement scarily reminiscent of Jack. Daniel dropped his hand to his side and watched as a war was fought across Simon’s expressive face. Flittering shadows of fear and hope and recognition all made their way across his mobile features until he finally straightened up and looked at the man waiting patiently in front of him.

“I love him, too,” he finally admitted. “But I think I’ve left it too late. Jack was going to tell him…”

“Jack’s said nothing,” Daniel reassured him. “He wanted to – that boy brings out all his protective instincts I can tell you. If I wasn’t so sure of him, Simon, I’d be jealous.”

“Why aren’t you?” Simon really wanted to know how Daniel could be so very sure.

“Because I trust him with my life and my heart,” Daniel shook his head wryly, “even when he’s a stupid bastard and makes me chase half way across the world to find him.” Daniel grasped the taller man by the biceps and shook him gently. “Relationships aren’t easy; God, love isn’t easy. There are no guarantee’s Simon. Everyone I’ve ever loved has died or been taken from me and the hardest thing I’ve ever done is let Jack into my heart. Every time we go on a mission I face the possibility that one or other of us might not come back. You and Dav don’t have that pressure either.”

Simon nodded, realizing that if Jack and Daniel could manage a relationship under those difficult circumstances then he owed it to himself and Davin to at least try.

“All I know, Simon, is that if you let Davin go there will be a hundred guys desperate to step into your shoes.”

A jolt of jealous anger rushed through Simon at the thought of another man with Davin, making him scowl stormily. Daniel gave a satisfied nod. “My work here is done,” he said quietly.

With a sigh Simon finally accepted the truth. He was in love - possibly for only the second time in his life. Now he had to put right the hurts he had inflicted on his lover and hope that was enough to keep them together.

“Thank you, Daniel,” the older man said as he drew a surprised Daniel into a big bear-hug.

“Everything alright here?”

Jack’s voice was tinged with wariness as he stood in the hallway to the left of them.

“Yes, Jonny, everything’s fine. Better than fine actually,” Simon said happily. “At least it will be if I can persuade a certain international model that his pigheaded shit of a boyfriend deserves another chance.”   

With a big grin Simon took Daniel’s face in his hands and kissed him full on the lips much to the archeologist’s surprise.

“Si, what the fu…mmmmph.” Jack’s cry of anger was silenced by a repeat performance on his lips before Simon swung away from the two nonplussed men and barreled down the stairs taking them two at a time.

Jack looked in total bemusement at his lover. “Daniel?”

“Jack?”

“Danny?” Jack’s voice had a warning tone that made Daniel snort with amusement.

“I think Davin will be staying,” the younger man explained.

“Ahhh,” Jack exclaimed, the brewing storm abating as he realized that Simon wasn’t putting the moves on his lover but was in fact thanking him.

“I think we should get to dinner, Jack. Unless you want to miss seeing Simon pulling his head out his ass and Davin getting what he wants.” Not waiting for a reply Daniel grasped his lover by the hand and dragged him down the stairs and into the dining room. They arrived in time to see Simon pulling his surprised young lover out of his seat at the dining table and into the hottest most passionate kiss the two other men had ever witnessed.

“So looks like we won’t be taking Dav back to the States with us.” Jack commented, a happy grin splitting his face.

“Do you think we look as hot as that,” Daniel asked, his eyes shining with mischief.

“God damn, I hope so,” Jack replied, his voice getting a little husky with arousal as he gazed into Daniel’s eyes. Their lips met before they’d even realized and their kiss was deep and sensual.

A polite cough brought them all back to the room to find Mac, Maddy and Tam standing at the head of the table, their hands filled with steaming serving dishes.

“Shall we be serving dinner, gentlemen or will ye be wanting ta be awa ta yer beds?” Mac’s tone was severe, but his eyes twinkled with humor. Beside him Maddy was beaming, her round cheeks pink with pleasure. The young chauffeur was trembling with the effort of keeping in the laughter that was bursting to get out.

“Bed?” Jack asked hopefully only to be rewarded by a thump on the chest by a blushing and slightly mortified Daniel.

“Jack!” he admonished in a stage whisper. “Behave yourself.”

“Do I have to?” Jack whined

That was all too much for Tam who began to giggle uncontrollably, his good humor soon finding its way infectiously to the others until the whole room was filled with laughter.

It took several minutes for everyone to calm down enough for dinner to be served. Steaming bowls of tomato and basil soup were set in front of them all and the staff returned to the kitchen to prepare the main course. Jack and Daniel smiled knowingly across at each other as they observed the interaction between Davin and Simon. The younger man looked by turns overwhelmed and ecstatic and Simon’s face was relaxed in a way they hadn’t seen the whole time they had been at the castle. The Laird turned to look over at Jack.

“I’m sorry, Jonny. I was a stupid bastard,” he said apologetically.

“Yes, you were,” Jack agreed, only to be frowned at by Daniel. He shrugged and continued, “I suppose it takes one to know one.”

It was Jack’s turn to frown as Daniel nodded knowingly at Davin, but his ire was softened by the look of sweet adoration his lover gave him immediately afterwards.

“Looks like I won’t be coming to the States until the Armani shoot later in the year, guys,” Davin said with a hopeful look at Simon.

“We’ll both come,” Simon said decisively.

“Colorado is beautiful in the fall,” Daniel commented.

“You could stay with us…well, at my house.” Jack felt his envy grow as he realized how much easier it would be for Davin and Simon than it was for him and Daniel. They would be able to live together openly, even have a civil partnership if that’s what they wanted. He tried to tamp down the underlying sadness and frustration at their own situation so he could feel pleased for his ex lover and his new friend. “If you let us know as early as possible when you’ll be arriving we can try to get some leave time together.”

Daniel reached across the table and squeezed Jack’s hand. He could guess the older man’s feelings; they were there for him too. The secrecy they were forced to live under was a constant pressure and not being able to live together and be open about their relationship was one of the areas they both regretted regularly.

“Jack’s house is home for both of us,” he stated as he drew his fingers gently over Jack’s knuckles.

Jack smiled back gratefully, nodded and continued, “We get down time together on the whole, but we try not to have leave at the same time too often, otherwise it would be just too obvious.”

Davin looked surprised. “So your relationship is a major problem then?”

“Not to us,” Daniel smiled, “but to the Air Force our relationship is enough to get Jack a court- martial and a dishonorable discharge with no pension. He could even be jailed,” he explained to an increasingly concerned Davin.

“Why do you stay in? Being in a relationship is hard enough. How do you cope with all that extra pressure; all the worry it must bring you.”  

Jack bit his lip, uncertain how to answer the young man without giving him any classified information. “What we do is very important,” he began. He looked over at Daniel who nodded in agreement. “It’s highly classified so please don’t ask what it is, but I believe that Daniel is the only man on the planet who is capable of doing what he does and I’m there to make sure he is able to do it. I watch his six, keep him safe.”

“He’s underselling himself as usual,” Daniel interrupted, earning himself a snort from Jack. “Jack’s ability as a CO, his strategic excellence and his skepticism has kept me alive many, many times in the field.”

“So,” Jack continued, looking more than a little pleased at the compliments he’d been paid, “we choose to stay, knowing the dangers and the problems. Either one of us could be killed on the next mission, so we hold on to every minute we can have together.”

Jack glanced over at Daniel, whose eyes looked suspiciously bright. A chill clutch of presentiment closed over his heart and he impulsively reached over and pulled his lover into a tender kiss. They rarely talked about the dangers they faced; the reality was too stark to consider closely, but they were both very aware that every mission could be their last.

Simon pushed his chair away from the table and rang the bell for the next course. “Let’s think of happier things, shall we,” he insisted. “Do you have to leave tomorrow? I was wondering about showing Daniel the burial mound…”

“Burial Mound!!” Daniel’s eyes lit up like flares.

“Oh you just had to, didn’t you, you bastard,” Jack exploded as he watched the look of intense excitement spread across Daniel’s face. “Now I’ll be lucky to get him back to Mexico before the end of our leave.” 

Soon the room was filled with the sounds of Daniel’s rapid fire questions and Simon’s attempts at answers while Davin and Jack grinned at each other across the table, both greatly amused at the passion of Jack’s significant other for his chosen profession.

Jack sighed as he watched Daniel’s excited, enthusiastic gestures and brilliant smile. He had a feeling deep down that there were some dark paths to tread when they got back to La Troza and he wasn’t afraid to admit that he was in no hurry to walk them beside Daniel.

‘Yeah,’ he mused, ‘I guess we can stay another day.’

 


	14. Through a Glass, Darkly XIV

_‘Awww, crap! I thought this dream stuff was all done with. Yet, here I am back at Gramp’s lake. The old man is nowhere to be seen. In fact the lake looks strangely deserted. Not only are there no people, but there’s no bugs, no Loons, no fish. It’s silent as the grave and just as creepy._

_Oh, but wait. There’s someone on the far shore. A kid I think._

_“Hey, kid. Where is everyone?”_

_The kid stands up and starts to make his way around the water towards me, picking his way around the shore. I can’t tell from way over here, but seems like he’s hurt his leg or something ‘cause he’s stumbling on every third or fourth step._

_“S’okay, buddy. Stay where you are. I’ll come to you.”_

_I know he heard me; I saw him shake his head. Funny he almost looks like a dog with a tick in his ear. All that shaggy hair and…_

_Shit, Shit, SHIT, Crap, Fuck and SHIT._

_Now he’s a little bit closer, I know who this is. He’s the kid from the beach and my other dreams of Eagle Lake. But that means…Oh, Danny, babe. This can’t be you. Please, God, tell me this didn’t really happen to you._

_As he takes the turn of the lake to walk towards me I can see he’s bleeding from his nose and ears. His hands are still tied with that wicked ligature, the skin around it raw and leaking fluids. His clothes are dirty and they don’t fit him properly, his feet are bare and he’s so thin._

_“Come here, Danny. Let me help you.”_

_He’s looking at me with those big, blue eyes and, Jesus, how could I not have recognized him before. This skinny, vulnerable teen in front of me is so obviously Daniel. He’s been beaten and tied. He looks half-starved and filthy.  He’s stopped about 20 feet away from me now. The kid’s trembling like a leaf and looks about ready to fall over, but Jesus, the look in his eyes. He’s accusing me of something; I can feel the weight of guilt resting on me like a physical hurt. His gaze is taking no prisoners._

_“Please, tell me what to do. Let me make this right.”_

_I know I can’t do it – this has already happened, but there has to be a reason why I’m being shown this. Ebenezer Scrooge had nothing on me. I’m not seeing my own ghosts of the past – instead I’m being visited by Daniel’s._

_“Please, don’t let him forget me.”_

_The boy’s voice is weak and tremulous. He can hardly hold himself upright and he’s swaying so much it seems just a breath from me would topple him over. But it’s like I’m held back by the force of his will. He’s daring me to try to touch him and I don’t want to cause him anymore pain._

_“Tell him…” The kid’s coughing and there’s blood spraying from his mouth._

_“Please…Please…” I’m begging now and I feel no shame in it. I just need to stop this horror movie playing in front of me._

_“No!” He grinds out, his face getting paler and paler. “Tell him it's time for malo kopač to be put to rest. He has to remember me…Make him remember me…”_

_He slumps to the ground and I’m screaming and crying and trying to crawl to him, but he won’t let me loose, just looks up at me with those crystal blue eyes.  And just for a moment, I see hope there amongst the cold despair and I know I can’t make him wait much longer._

 

_******_

 

With a sharp inhale of breath Jack bolted from the bed and found himself standing in the middle of the bedroom, shaking like a leaf and bathed in sweat. His stomach roiled and bucked and he knew if he moved a muscle he would throw up where he stood. Desperate to control the nausea he flicked his gaze around the room, trying to ascertain whether Daniel was still in there with him. Then he remembered Simon coming to collect his archaeologist in the early hours so they could hike to the Viking burial site on the far side of the estate. Daniel had kissed Jack sweetly, said goodbye and whispered for him to go back to sleep.

 

 Jack sank back down on the bed shivering slightly as the sweat began to cool on his skin. He ran a shaking hand over his face and sighed. He had to get Daniel back to Mexico so they could put this nightmare – literally – to rest.

 

A noise made Jack look up to find Mac standing in the doorway looking concerned.

“Och, Mast hold ier Jonny. I thought the devil was after ye, the noise ye were making.” The old man walked over to Jack and placed a cool hand on his shoulder. “Are ye alright, laddie?”

 

Jack looked up into the worried face and painted a less than convincing smile on his face.

“I’m fine, Mac, just a bit of a recurring nightmare. Nothing a cup of Maddy’s coffee and some toast won’t fix.”

“Well, the coffee I can do,” Mac replied with a smile, “but the toast may have to wait. Master Daniel has sent a message from the burial site.”

Jack felt his stomach lurch, and this time not as a result of his dream. “Oh, yeah?”

Mac nodded. “I am to tell ye that he has found something interesting to do with a good friend of yours.”

Jack groaned, now he **knew** this was bad news. “Did he say anything else?”

“Well,” Mac continued, “He said to mention a place ye had visited called Cimmeria and that ye should get up there as quickly as possible.”

“Oh, crap.” Jack groaned as he stood and walked to the bathroom. “How long a walk is this site, Mac?” he asked with a pained grimace. The thought of traipsing for hours through a forest of trees was too much like his work-a-day life. Granted, the lack of Jaffa patrols and hostile indigenous populations was a bonus, but nevertheless…

“Ah, now I think that Tam may have something that will put a smile on yer face, Jonny. Get yersel dressed and I’ll make sure he’s ready for ye.”

******

A quick shower and a scalding cup of coffee later and Jack was standing in the huge entrance way of the castle, dressed in chino’s and a leather jacket, looking out onto the sweeping drive. The sound of a two stroke engine made him look over to his left and the sight that met his eyes caused a huge grin to split his face. Tam rode up to the doorway on a sleek, black ATV. The four-wheeler bounced over the grassy verge on its heavy suspension and Jack couldn’t wait to get his hands on the sporty vehicle.

“Have ye ridden one of these before, Master Jonny,” Tam asked, unclipping his motorcycle helmet.

Jack nodded, “Yeah, but not one as swanky as this.”

“Ah, no. This is the Lairds new toy. In fact he’s not ridden her yet so ye are honored that he’s letting ye have first try on her.”

Jack’s smile refused to go away and he eagerly took the helmet from Tam and pulled it on his head.

“It has GPS,” Tam pointed to the readout on the dash. “I’ve put in the co-ordinates that Master Daniel phoned through so ye’ll get straight to them. It’s easier as the crow flies, across the 40 acre field over yon, although I would skirt around the pine forest – a few too many roots and fallen branches to be safe riding through there.” Tam indicated which way Jack should head and with a hearty slap on Tam’s back Jack gunned the engine and raced off in a spray of gravel.

 

******

By the time Jack reached the burial site the exhilaration of the ride across the estate had burned off his dark mood.  As he crested the hill over looking the area indicated by the co-ordinates he found himself looking down on a broad grassy area surrounded on three sides by dense Douglas fir forest. In the centre a large hillock rose from the flat land around it. The mound was covered in grass and looked like one of the illustrations Jack had seen in Daniel's text books. The distinctive figures of his lover and the Laird were just emerging from a dark cleft cut into the side of the hill. They both looked up as he began his descent down the other side of the rise and rode towards them. Daniel raised his hand and waved an excited greeting.

‘Well, something’s got Daniel all excited,’ Jack thought and couldn’t help the swell of anticipation. An excited Danny often meant a horny Danny and that was something to be savored.

It wasn’t until he had pulled to a stop and was taking off the helmet and clipping it onto the handlebars of the off-road vehicle that he remembered Daniel’s message.

‘Cimmeria…Crap!’ Jack thought sourly. Could there really be another Thor’s Hammer, right here in the wilds of the Scottish Highlands? It all seemed too convenient, but Jack knew that coincidence often followed both him and Daniel around, even though usually it was on other planets than their own.

“Jack!”

Daniel’s excited voice broke through Jack’s thoughts and he looked over to see Daniel striding towards him. He looked both excited and concerned at the same time, his eyes flashing and his hands already in motion. He waited until he was right next to Jack, however, to begin talking and it was that more than anything else that clued Jack in to how much trouble they could be in.

“So, Daniel… Cimmeria?” Jack asked, quietly, aware that Simon was standing at the entrance to what looked like a grass covered mound. “We talking Thor’s Hammer here?”

“Not so far,” Daniel answered, “But there is something you need to see.”

“Do I need to call the mountain?” Jack queried, slipping easily into colonel mode as he loped along easily by the side of his lover towards the entrance to the mound.

“Eventually,” Daniel conceded. “I think we may have to talk to the general about getting Simon cleared, too. He’s too canny to let us pull the Top Secret bull shit and until I get inside…”

Jack’s hackles began to rise as a feeling of foreboding came over him. “Inside what, Daniel,” he growled.

Rather than answer him Daniel took hold of his arm and dragged him over to the mound where Simon stood waiting, a look of excited expectation on his face. “I’m taking it this has something to do with Deep Space Telemetry,” he commented wryly and then gave a bark of laughter at the glare Jack threw his way.

“Perhaps you should stay out here, Si,” Jack began, but was cut off by a snort from the Laird.

“My land, Jack,” Simon said belligerently. “And anyway I’ve already been in there and seen how excited your archaeologist got over the runes on the wall. I know there’s something amazing going on. What I need to know now is whether you’re going to let me in on it.”

Jack gave a frustrated shout and then, hustled by the other man, followed Daniel into the excavated mound.

He was surprised at how deep the tunnel went and looked over at Daniel for an explanation. “I know you haven’t cleared all this in a couple of hours.”

Daniel grinned, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “The original excavation was done in the 30’s by Simon’s grandfather, the first Earl,” he explained. “But they had to stop when they got to the back wall. They tried all kinds of tools but couldn’t break through,” Daniel explained. “I was a little disappointed when I got here as this looked more like a Bronze-age barrow - like The Devils Humps in West Sussex - than a Viking site,” he continued. “But when I got to the end of the tunnel I could see why they’d got confused by the evidence.”

The dark maw was lit by heavy duty lamps strung on the ceiling of the tunnel and Jack could make out the chugging hum of a generator somewhere nearby. The walls were shored up with evenly spaced props, and here and there was evidence of small falls of earth from the roof.  About 50 yards in they came to a dead end. The wall was made of a dull gray substance that had the look of granite, etched with patterns which looked very familiar. Jack shot a scowl in Daniel’s direction who gave him a wry smile back.  Several odd lumps and dips made the whole thing look scarred and pitted. Jack slid his penknife from his jeans pocket and rapped it on the surface. The dull clink told him the surface was not stone but metal, although it didn’t sound hollow. He took a step back to speak to Daniel and as he did his hand brushed one of the larger protrusions. With a faint hiss and click a small hatch opened to one side of the wall and a white egg shaped object slid smoothly out.

“Oh crap,” Jack breathed and looked over at Simon, who was watching, wide eyed. “Asgard?” he breathed quietly to Daniel as he palmed the communication device, trying hard not to telegraph his discomfort to de’Vere.

“Asgard.” Daniel agreed with a nod and a shrug.

Before either man could make another move the familiar flash of a transport beam illuminated the tunnel. Jack would have laughed at Simon’s, “Bloody Nora” if he hadn’t been distracted by the appearance of a small gray figure directly in front of him.

“O’Neill,” the alien intoned, with as much surprise as was possible in the clipped tones of an Asgard speaking English.

“Thor! Well, buddy, this is a surprise,” Jack replied, realizing it was too late to keep Simon out of the loop.

“I was not aware that you were visiting this part of your world, O’Neill. I thought you were in Mexico.” Thor blinked his eyes twice and inclined his head.

Jack didn’t even think to question why Thor would know his whereabouts. He’d long since come to terms with the fact that the Asgard had a deep interest in him and seemed to keep tabs on him at all times.

“We were,” Daniel replied as he moved past Thor to hold out a hand to Simon, who had fallen on his butt when the alien had made his surprise appearance.

“Dr. Jackson. It is good to see you,” Thor intoned, “and you too, Lord de’Vere.”

Simon rubbed a hard over his eyes, hoping he could get the sight of a Roswell Gray appearing on his archeological dig out of his head. He was more than a little disappointed when it didn’t work.

“Jack…” he said weakly, as Daniel placed an arm around his shoulders and helped him back down onto the floor, his legs too wobbly to hold him.

“So, you know Simon,” Jack stated in a manner that seemed totally too blasé to the shaken Lord.

“He carries similar advanced genetic markers to you, although not so pronounced. WE are aware of all humans carrying the gene.” Thor blinked, and Jack thought the little alien looked smug, if that were possible.

“Of course you are,” Jack said wryly. With a big sigh he turned to his pale and shaken friend.

“Simon, meet Thor, Supreme Commander of the Asgard Fleet,” he announced in his best formal tone. However, his wide, cheeky grin spoiled the effect and Daniel rolled his eyes.

“Thor is an Asgard,” Daniel explained, “and yes, he looks like a Roswell Gray, because…well he is one.”

“A scout ship got into difficulties over Earth and the escape pod crashed at Roswell, New Mexico in ’47,” Jack explained patiently. “They were Asgard, like Thor here.”

“So the project you’re involved in is…” Simon croaked, still not quite believing his eyes.

“Not Deep Space Telemetry, no,” Daniel replied and looked over at Jack for guidance.

“I can’t say anymore right now, Si, but I would imagine there are some seriously large stacks of paperwork going to be coming your way very soon.” Jack sighed deeply. He couldn’t believe his work was encroaching so deeply into his private life. Nearly three decades of top-secret missions and he’d never had to divulge anything to friends or family. Now, within a few years he’d had to tell both Sara and Simon about the Stargate Program. Rubbing his hand across the back of his neck he turned to Thor.

“So is this why you were watching Simon?”

“We were not aware of this facility,” Thor replied as he walked quickly over to the wall and touched several of the runes in quick succession. With a quiet whoosh the wall slid away into the dirt around it, revealing a large oval room.  Jack followed the small alien into the area, snorting at the sound of Simon’s “What the fucking hell, Daniel?” as it floated down the tunnel towards them.

Thor manipulated another of the control eggs lying on a console in the centre of the room. The whole area lit up with the familiar opalescent light of an Asgard facility. The back wall was completely taken up by a large view screen and there were streams of runes flowing in vertical lines down the right hand side. To the left and right were banks of keypads and the flat control pedestals, where more control eggs were ready to be used.

“Wow.”

Daniel was now standing right behind Jack, with Simon bringing up the rear, not quite making it inside the room. Jack looked over at his friend and had to fight down a snigger.

“S’alright, Si. You can come in. He’s not going to assault you with his anal probe.”

Thor gave Jack a look that made Daniel grin. It was the closest thing to an eye roll the immobile face of the Asgard could manage.

“You are in no danger, Lord de’Vere,” the little alien said kindly. “This is merely an observation unit.”

“Observing what,” Daniel asked as he made a circuit of the room, running his fingers over the raised surfaces of the panels.

“The development of your race, Dr. Jackson.”  Thor moved a pale blue egg across the panel in front of him and a pop-up opened on the larger view screen. Daniel’s face grew more and more amazed as images of the surrounding area in various eras of Earth’s history flashed up on the screen, accompanied by more of the ever-present Asgard runic script.

“But this…this is…” Daniel gasped.

“Take a breath, Danny,” Jack urged, grinning at the excitement that was making Daniel vibrate with energy.

“Jack, you have to understand, this is…this is…”

“Meaning of Life stuff?” Jack said softly, turning Daniel to face him and stroking gently down his cheek.

“Yeah,” Daniel smiled back, his eyes appearing to shine an even more intense blue in the light of the console and screen, ”Yeah, Jack, Meaning of Life stuff.” The two men stared at each other for several moments, their love clear to anyone who was watching.  Then Daniel leaned in and gave Jack a light, closed mouth kiss that rocked Jack back on his heels as sparks flowed through his nerve endings. Christ, Daniel in full flow was almost as good as sex.

“We have to be allowed to investigate this site, Thor,” Daniel demanded, as he turned away from his star struck lover.

“I am not able to leave this facility here now it is opened and we are aware of its existence.” Thor explained apologetically.

“But if you didn’t know it was here, how come you knew to…beam down.” Simon had made his way gingerly into the room and was trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the last ten minutes.

“This egg thing is a communicator, right, Thor?” Jack raised his eyebrows in question as he opened his hand and passed the object over to Simon.

“You are correct, O’Neill,” the Asgard answered with a slight nod of his head.

“I was?  Yeah, yeah, I knew I was,” Jack preened.

“But, Thor,” Daniel interjected, his face pulled into an unhappy scowl. “Surely we should be allowed to have access to the data from this place. You don’t understand how important…”

“Of course, Dr. Jackson. I will have the data rendered into a form that is compatible with your technology at the SGC.”

“…this could be to our understanding…Oh…Oh, you will?” Daniel spluttered as he realized his impassioned plea was not necessary. “Well, thank you.”  He looked over at Jack beseechingly, who first smiled and then held up his hands as he realized what the look on his lover’s face meant.

“Oh no, Daniel. We have two more weeks of leave left and I for one am going to spend it in Paradise.” He spluttered.

“Well, I could…” Daniel began, but shook his head and gave Jack a sheepish smile as he saw the look of hurt flashing across his beloved’s face. “Yeah, we need to go back to La Troza,” he agreed, moving over to Jack’s side and taking his hand.

“If I can be of any help to get you to Mexico,” Thor offered, “My ship the Sleipnir is in orbit. I will be happy to transport you back to your residence there.”

Jack sighed deeply. “I’d love nothing better, Thor ol’ buddy, but I have to report all this to General Hammond and also get Simon here cleared for all the stuff he’s already seen.”

“Would a holographic conference be acceptable to the general?” Thor asked.

Jack’s face brightened visibly. “Well, if you could see your way clear to doing…”

With a whirr and flash of light the three men found themselves on the bridge of Thor’s ship, the bright blue sphere of Earth looming large in the view screen.

“Oh, shittin’ fucking hell,” Simon moaned as he flopped once more onto the floor. “I can’t cope with all this.” He looked over at Daniel, his face a sickly pale green, lightly sheened with sweat. “Tell me the truth…Are we in space, Danny?”

Daniel gave him a fond smile. “Yes, Simon, we’re in space.” He crouched down beside the prostrate man and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “This is the bridge of Thor’s ship and we are in orbit around Earth.”

“But…but…how come no-one knows they’re here?”

“The shields hide my ship from your planet's tracking stations, Lord de’Vere.”

“How does he know I’m a Lord,” Simon hissed over at Jack, “Do they have Debrett’s on Asgard World or something?”

Jack merely smirked in his direction and rocked on his heels, his hands pushed firmly into his pants pockets.

“Thor’s home world is called Othalla,” Daniel explained with a small frown in Jack’s direction. “And I would imagine there is very little Thor doesn’t know about the Earth, if anything.”

Thor had been manipulating the controls in front of him and turned back to Jack.

“If you would stand on the emitter station I will activate the link with the SGC. The general is in his office and alone so this would seem to be an opportune time to make contact.”

Jack did as he was told and stepped forward onto the silver disc on the floor.  He quickly looked back over his shoulder? to make sure Daniel was not in line of sight. Although he wasn’t sure if anything other than his hologram would be seen by the general, they couldn’t risk being outed by accident.

“General”

Daniel grinned at Simon’s shocked reaction as General Hammond’s face appeared on a view screen that had materialized in the centre of the room, seeming to hang unsupported in the air.

“Can he see and hear us?” de’Vere asked _sotto voce._

“No,” Daniel reassured him. “The disc Jack is standing on is a holo-emitter. His image is all the general is seeing.”

“Fuck, Daniel, this is so bloody Star Trek.”

“Welcome to my life,” Daniel chuckled.

“Colonel, what the hell is going on?” Hammond snapped, his face going an interesting shade of red. “I thought you were on leave.”

“Well, sir, I am…that is…” Jack stammered, realizing a little too late that he should have thought about his story before letting Thor beam his hologram directly into the general’s office.

“Where are you, Jack?” the general sighed resignedly. “I take it you are in the company of the Asgard.”

“Yes, sir.” Jack smiled his most winning smile and launched into an explanation of why he was not actually on Earth at that point in time. He was careful to skim around the details of his move from Mexico to Scotland, but made sure the general realized the gravity of the situation.

“So you see - when we discovered the underground base…”

“We?” George asked with a slight frown. “And this _we_ would be you and Dr Jackson, right.”

Jack felt all the blood drain from his face and his heart began to race. He clenched his hands behind his back in a parody of parade rest. So this was it. Either he could deny that Daniel was there or he could face the likelihood of, at the very least, a dishonorable discharge.

Jack heard Daniel’s quiet gasp and then movement behind him as the younger man grasped his hand and squeezed it tightly. The relief of that one little bit of contact let him breathe again and he squeezed back before letting go.

“Dr Jackson?” He tried for nonchalant but thought it probably sounded choked.

“Jack,” the general sighed, shaking his head. “What kind of fool do you take me for? They don’t give stars to stupid men, although sometimes I do wonder...” George shrugged and continued. “I **know** , Jack – Do I need to say more?” Hammond raised his eyebrows and gave Jack a searching look.

Jack cleared his throat and looked a little shamefaced. “I don’t think you are a fool, sir. I just thought we’d been a little more…discrete. I’ll get Thor to beam me back there immediately.” Jack gave a small resigned nod and made to step back off the emitter, but the general hadn’t finished. 

“You still have two weeks of leave left, Jack. Why would you need to come back here?”

Jack turned to look at Daniel and the expression on the older man’s face might have made Daniel laugh out loud if he had not been strung tight with anxiety.

“Jack…Jack…COLONEL O’NEILL!” The general’s face did not reflect the severity of his voice; in fact Daniel was sure the old man had a twinkle in his eye. As Jack turned back to make his holographic avatar face his CO he took a deep breath, hoping against hope that he had enough leniency stored up with the general to make the next few minutes bearable. He shouldn’t have been surprised that George knew about them; he’d had his doubts that they could keep this big a secret from their boss, but he had hoped it wouldn’t become an issue. Suddenly Jack found himself being pulled forcibly away from his place on the silver disc and to his horror being replaced by Simon.

“WHAT! Who the hell are you?” Hammond’s calm demeanour had been shattered and he stood quickly and leaned forwards on his desk. Jack covered his face with his hands and felt his gorge rise. What had merely been FUBAR was now turning into a grade A clusterfuck.

“I’m Air Vice Marshall Simon de’Vere, Third Earl of Granville and an old friend of Colonel O’Neill’s.” He began, his voice laden with authority and the slight arrogance borne of his aristocratic lineage. “The facility that I now know to be Asgard is on my land.”

Hammond was spluttering with rage. He took the secrecy of the program very seriously and yet here was a complete stranger, albeit a senior officer in the RAF, who was obviously on board Thor’s ship and privy to all kinds of classified data.

“Air Marshall, I’m sure you realize that your presence on board the Asgard ship is a serious breach of security and puts me and particularly Colonel O’Neill in a very difficult position.”

“General, I think it is probable that my country is well aware of your program. Is that the case?” Simon cocked an eyebrow and waited for Hammond’s considerable temper to recede. The general gave a curt nod and settled back down at his desk.

“And I’m already here on a space ship thousands of miles above the Earth; which is being flown by a Roswell Gray and I’m talking to you by hologram - which is so much Star Trek I can’t believe it.” Simon turned and winked at Jack who was watching the whole proceedings through his fingers, having slapped his hands over his eyes in the vain hope that if he couldn’t see the train-wreck approaching his career it wasn't happening.

“I am afraid a functioning holo-deck such as on the Enterprise is still not available technology although our holo-scientists are engaged with the problem.” Thor’s slow eye blink could also have been a wink, but Daniel was not sure. A snort of laughter made its way past his lips and he had to look out at Earth below them to stop the somewhat hysterical laughter bubbling in his throat from bursting out of him.

“Oh, I'm so taking away your TV privileges,” Jack exclaimed as he gaped at Thor.

“So,” Simon continued, turning back to the general, “I think it’s a little too late for regrets or recriminations. There was nothing the colonel or Dr Jackson could have done to prevent me from being involved. It would seem the next logical step would be for you to check my security clearance and make arrangements for me to be fully read in. I’ll even give you my personal command code to make things move a little quicker. I also have no doubt you will want to send a team to look at what will be left of the facility below and whilst I’m sure you could eventually persuade my Government to give you access to my land it would be far easier if I was involved right from the start.”

For a moment it looked as though George was going to argue and Jack could see his tenure in the Air Force being cut short. However, after a minute or two the general huffed out an exasperated breath and rubbed his hand across his bald head.

“Very well. I’ll make that call, but I would ask that you talk to no one about this until I have contacted the Ministry of Defence and got your clearance sorted out. In fact…Colonel O’Neill...”

Jack took Simon’s place on the disc, giving him a glare as they passed which Simon countered with a cheeky but apologetic shrug.

“Yes, sir?”

Daniel watched Jack become the disciplined soldier he knew he really was, his trade mark slouch nowhere in sight as he stood rigidly to attention. He was really going all out to get back in the general’s good books and Daniel couldn’t blame him for that. As for their clandestine relationship; he was sure there would be more discussion on that before too long.

“It’ll be alright, Daniel.” Simon put a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder and squeezed. “The old man is a teddy bear and he likes you both, I can tell.” When Daniel frowned uncertainly, Simon gave him a smile. “I’ve worked with the brass for years and now I’m one of them. You don’t get far if you don’t know how to read this kind of situation and your general is just going through the motions to keep Jack on his toes.”

Daniel sighed uncertainly. He knew George liked them both, but this situation was not run of the mill and the security breaches alone could get him and Jack in serious hot water regardless of the regs their relationship was breaking. He tried to be heartened that the general already knew about them and had not made any efforts to either dissuade them from being together or to sanction Jack for conduct unbecoming. Shaking himself he tuned back in to Jack’s conversation with the general.

“…and stay there until he has been cleared.”

“Yes, sir,” Jack replied, his tone resigned.

Daniel realized they were being ordered to stay put in Scotland until Simon could be read into the program and he knew Jack was disappointed about not being able to return to Mexico for another few days. Daniel couldn’t help feeling a little bit of relief, however. He knew there were things to be discussed, had recognized that Jack was not talking about the other, young, version of Daniel he had seen and that there was something dark waiting for him. Daniel shivered involuntarily. He couldn’t think of anything in his past life that would inspire Jack to be so concerned, but then he hadn’t remembered the other incidents either until Jack had told him about those dreams.

He was brought back to the proceedings by Simon brushing past him and once again displacing Jack from the holo-emitter. This time Jack made a grab for him, but Daniel held his lover back not wanting him to add a charge of assaulting a senior officer to their growing list of infractions.

“General, if I might make a suggestion.” Simon oozed charm and Daniel winced. George Hammond had been around the block a few times and was not one to be drawn in by schmooze.

“de’Vere?” The general looked wary and faintly amused.

“I don’t know if you realized, but I have a very big estate here in Scotland and there just happens to be one of the finest whiskey distilleries in the Highlands right on my land. My grandfather laid down a couple of oak barrels the day I was born and I am now 52 years old.” He raised an eyebrow at the general whose eyes were now twinkling with humor.

“If you could get away for a couple of days perhaps you could be my ‘guard’ until my clearance comes through. I’d appreciate your views on the bottle of my grandsire's legacy that is currently residing on my sideboard. You’d be very welcome.”

The smile that graced the general’s face made Jack’s insides unclench. He turned and grabbed Daniel by the shoulders, pulling him into a huge embrace.

“It’s going to be OK, Danny,” he breathed into the younger man's ear and Daniel couldn’t help but hug him back. Jack’s relief was contagious and Daniel realized that he’d been just as concerned.

“Very well, I do have leave booked for this weekend actually. I was going to fly out to see my daughter tonight, but I can rearrange that if Thor would be willing to beam me to your property in a couple of hours?” Hammond agreed.

Thor inclined his head regally and Simon relayed that to the general.

“Alright, that’s good. Then Colonel O’Neill and Dr Jackson are free to return to Mexico?” he asked respectfully.

“As long as you remain with Thor until I can be beamed over there, yes.” Hammond replied.

“Thank you, Major General. My command code is Alpha November Charlie Niner Niner Omega. That should get you straight to the right people. I will await your arrival.” Simon deadpanned.

“I look forward to meeting you in person Air Vice Marshall,” Hammond said respectfully and then picked up the phone on his desk, effectively terminating the holo-conference.

Simon stepped back off the holo-disc and turned a huge beaming smile on the two men behind him who were still clinging to each other.

“There, all sorted,” he said smugly. “You have a couple of hours to get your stuff packed and to say goodbye to everyone back at the castle and then Thor here will beam you back to the beach house.” Simon looked questioningly at the alien.

Thor inclined his head once again. “I will be happy to return O’Neill and Dr Jackson to Mexico.”

“Tell them I’ve got to meet someone and will be returning in a couple of hours with a guest. That’ll give Mac enough time to prepare a room for your general.”

Daniel watched warily as Jack let go of him and turned stony faced to his ex-lover. He saw Simon pale a little as the full force of Jack’s anger was turned on him. Jack moved towards the Lord and it was obvious that it took everything the other man had for him not to take a step back. Daniel saw Simon brace in preparation for the blow he was sure was coming his way, although Daniel knew better. Jack was just as vicious with his tongue as he was with his fists and rarely resorted to physical violence.

Suddenly the cold angry look on Jack’s face gave way to a beaming grin.

“You fucking son of a bitch. You’ve got balls of steel I’ll give you that.” Jack gave Simon a playful punch on the shoulder that rocked him back on his heels a little. Then he pulled him into a bear hug and whispered, “Thanks” into his ear. Simon just nodded and smiled over Jack’s shoulder at Daniel.

“Just look after him, OK?” he asked with a grin and Daniel nodded, smiling back broadly.

“Thor, old buddy.” Jack turned to the little gray alien, “it’s been a blast but I think it’s time we got this show on the road.” He delved in his pocket and brought out the white egg shaped communicator. “Can I use this?”

“Yes, O’Neill. Just tap it twice and I will beam you back here to make your farewell to Lord de’Vere.”

Jack nodded and grinned cheekily at Thor.

“Two to beam down, Scotty.”

Daniel looked incredulously at Jack as the familiar white light enveloped them both. His mouth dropped open as the last thing he heard was the Asgard reply in his familiar clipped tones.

“Aye, Aye, Captain.”

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Through a Glass Darkly XV

 

Daniel woke one sense at a time.

The heady scent of Rosita de Cacao pervaded the room as the breeze rustled through the soft white petals surrounding the balcony window and filled his nose with their sweetness. Next the unmistakable touch of hot, wet suction on his already erect cock let him know at least one part of his body was fully awake.

“Jack,” he gasped.

His own voice, moaning deeply as if from a long way off, was joined by the dark, liquid sound of Jack chuckling, interrupting the delicious movement of his mouth, to Daniel’s dismay.

 “Decided to finally wake up, huh,” he mumbled as he moved his roving mouth back to its place in Daniel’s groin. “Thought I was losing my touch.”

Daniel moaned again as the wonder of Jack’s mouth was joined by the slick hot touch of fingertips against his opening. He tried to shift into the gentle pressure, wanting it there, now! But Jack’s body lay heavy and unmoving across his hips not allowing any participation.

It was so hot to be pinned like this, helpless and trusting Jack to get Daniel where he wanted him to be in the older man’s own sweet time. He couldn’t quite open his eyes; still was a little sleep-drugged and heavy with the sullen heat of being woken this way. A broad fingertip slicked something warm across his lips and his tongue flicked out in response, tasting the rich dark bitterness of coffee; really good coffee. He moaned again, the stimulus of all his waking senses making him dizzy with sensation. When the fingertip returned he sucked it between his lips and licked around it with a questing tongue. This time it was Jack who moaned and the resulting vibrations around Daniel’s cock made his skin tremble and his nipples pucker almost painfully.

“Oh, Fuuuuuuckk…” he cried out as the tip of Jack’s tongue traced along his slit, gathering the pre-cum starting to well there. The easy slide of Jack’s finger into his relaxed body brought him perilously close to coming. Daniel wasn’t sure how long Jack had been working on him **,** but the push and slide of his fingers seemed to be easy and, as one finger was joined by another, Daniel’s moans became louder and louder. A clever crook of Jack’s longest finger against his prostate caused a spangle of fireworks to go off behind Daniel’s closed lids and sent a bolt of static along his nerve endings to the base of his spine. He could feel his orgasm pooling there, present but not urgent, just coiled and heated. The rasp of morning stubble across the sensitive skin of his inner thigh added another layer to the senses orgy he was being treated to and he felt like his body was on fire with reaction.

Another sensation hit his lips, this time cool and soft and he opened his mouth without thinking, his trust in Jack absolute. Sweetness burst over his tongue as a sliver of mango slid into his mouth and Daniel barely had enough brainpower to marvel at the dexterity of his lover. It was as if Jack had hands everywhere, as a thumb brushing across his sensitized balls had him keening around the mouthful of fruit.

He wanted to open his eyes, to see everything, but an unseen force kept them closed, the darkness behind his eyelids adding to the aura of sensuality that Jack was weaving around him. Another morsel of fruit was wiped across his lips and he accepted it with a hum of ecstasy.

Daniel’s fingers clutched at the cool sheets beneath him as Jack began to bob his head slightly, adding a wet slide to the suction on his iron hard cock. The warm pre-orgasmic coil in his lower back was beginning to get more urgent now, with nerve runs making their way through his groin and into his belly, his abs quivering as his body began to prepare itself for overwhelming pleasure. He reached out blindly with one hand, needing to be a participant in this heady act of love, wanting to ground himself on Jack’s body. His questing hand was caught by Jack’s slightly sticky fingers. His strong thumb pressed against Daniel’s palm, softening the tight claw of his fist and pulling him down to feel the point at which they were joined. Deftly, Jack pulled Daniel’s thumb and last two fingers into his palm and then pushed the other two into his mouth alongside Daniel’s cock.

The sensation overload was overwhelming as the moist heat of Jack’s mouth joined with the tense throbbing of Daniel’s cock against his own fingers. The limber rasp of Jack’s tongue against the pads of his fingertips and the deeper, more insistent suction, alongside the sullen scrape of Jack’s calloused fingers over Daniel’s prostate, all combined to make a pinpoint of bright light bloom behind his eyes as the unstoppable sensation of his orgasm moved through his body like a tsunami. He could hear himself crying out; long streams of unintelligible syllables that, if he’d had any brain cells left to think with, would have put his poor linguistic heart to shame.

He came hard; the straining of his cock and spurt of his come telegraphed to his body through the fingers still pressed hard against Jack’s tongue. The feedback loop of sensory stimulus made his orgasm feel never-ending.  Jack gave a startled cry as he tensed into a full body shudder and then thrust once and then twice more against Daniel’s lower leg. The realization that his lover had come, just from sucking him off, made another sharp stab of arousal scream through Daniel’s body, tightening his balls and making him ejaculate again in another thick stream across Jack’s tongue. Jack was moaning **,** too **,** and the sound seemed like a living thing against the soft, damp skin of Daniel’s fingers.

By the time Jack’s mouth moved away from his groin and up to his lips, Daniel’s body was trembling with over-stimulation and his breath was coming out in short pants. Jack’s tongue slid gently into his mouth and mixed the flavor of his own release with the lingering sweetness of the fruit.  The tenderness of the kiss grounded Daniel again and he gave a last lingering shudder as his lover gently pulled his fingers from Daniel’s body. With an effort of will Daniel opened his eyes to see Jack smiling back at him with a look of unrepentant sappiness.

“You OK?” Jack asked, with more than a hint of smugness.

“Yeah,” Daniel replied, allowing Jack his moment. After all, as their lovemaking went that had been truly spectacular, easily making its way into the top five ‘great Jack/Daniel orgasms of all time’. Not that he would be telling Jack that – not immediately anyway.  He settled back onto the pillow and sighed contentedly. The aftershocks were settling **,** leaving him pleasantly sated and lethargic and his eyelids felt heavy. Daniel drifted for several minutes before the luscious smell of coffee – that really good coffee – dragged him from his doze.

“Gimme,” he demanded as he opened his eyes to see Jack sipping from a large white cup.

“What **,** this?” Jack teased, peering into his cup as if it were nothing to be excited about.

Daniel growled warningly and shifted on the bed, moving his heavy, over-pleasured limbs with difficulty, until he was sitting up against the headboard. Jack grinned and turned back to the tray on the floor beside the bed. After a moment he placed a second cup in front of Daniel’s face, and with one sniff Daniel was moaning loudly again.

“God, Danny. I go to all this effort to make you moan and all it takes is one measly cup of joe.”

Daniel gave him a scandalized look. “Joe? JOE! This is some of the best coffee money can buy,” he exclaimed huffily. “Simon may have many faults **,** but his coffee purchases are not one of them.”

“You are such a snob, Dr. Jackson. What’s wrong with a cuppa plain old Nescafe?”

Daniel made the sign of the cross and Jack dissolved into laughter.

“You’re so easy,” he gurgled as he fought to get his giggles under control. He was a Colonel in the Air Force after all and they definitely didn’t giggle.

“We’ll see how much you laugh when I cut you off for the rest of our leave,” Daniel threatened. But the twinkle in his eyes and the latent heat in his expression gave no weight to his threat and Jack knew it.

Jack rose to sit on the edge of the bed and stretched out his back which was aching slightly from the cramped position he had got himself in while he'd been pleasuring his lover.

“What do you want to do today; snorkelling, hiking up the jungle trail?”

“Ja-ack,” Daniel whined. “We only got back last night and although I know it was an easy journey, courtesy of Thor, it’s been a stressful and emotional few days.” He winced at the memory. “Can we just take it easy, chill out here?”

Jack nodded but his expression darkened.

“What?” Daniel had a feeling he knew but hoped Jack would give him some space.

“We need to get to the bottom of this whole thing,” Jack said hesitantly, “and there are still some things we need to talk about.”

Daniel felt all the feel-good emotions flying out of him and a feeling of dread settled in its place.

“There was the third vision, the other kid I saw…he was a teen, thirteen at a guess, and **,** well…” Jack didn’t know how to breech the discussion of how damaged the kid he’d seen had been. “Things were bad for him…you…because we both know it was you. **”**

“Nothing happened when I was thirteen, Jack. Nothing bad enough to put that look on your face. Whatever this thing was **;** it was messing with your mind.” Daniel’s face was set now and Jack knew that look. If he pushed too hard his lover would shut down and it would be impossible to get him to talk. “You’ve been fine for days now and everything is sorted out between us. Can’t we just forget it?”

Jack huffed out a sigh. “Yeah, we could, but what if you need to remember…”

Before he could finish there was a call from the patio below.  “Mr. Jack. There is a phone call from Master Simon. I told him you were sleeping **,** but he said he could do the mathematics for the time difference and it was high time you get…” Izel cleared her throat and Jack could hear the embarrassment. “…el culo gordo de la cama.”

Daniel snorted coffee over the bed clothes and curled in a giggling ball around his coffee cup as Jack leapt up in outrage.

“My… fat… ass…MY FAT ASS!” He ranted as he searched around the bed for the clothes he had thrown around the room the night before. “I’ll give him a fucking fat ass. I’m not the one who’s gained fifty pounds sitting behind a goddamn desk.”

Daniel squealed in a most unmanly way as Jack looked behind him, trying to check out the relative plumpness of his ass, whilst fighting to get on a pair of loose shorts he had plucked bad **-** temperedly from his duffle. Tears were rolling down the younger man’s cheeks, all the bad mood of minutes before flushed away by the antics of his disgruntled lover.

“Jack **,** you should shower,” he choked out between bouts of giggles. “We only just…”

Jack glowered back at him. “Oh, no. I’m not letting him get away with that. He just insulted me. He can talk to me with spunk on my leg.” Jack stomped off out of the room and down the outside stairs.

“Yes, Jack,” Daniel shouted after him, “that’ll teach him.”

Snorting with laughter he decided this was all too entertaining to miss so he quickly stepped into the bathroom and gave himself a cursory wipe down with a wet face cloth. He found a pair of the tight swim trunks he knew Jack loved so much and shimmied into them **,** hoping that once the fun of the phone call was over he could persuade Jack there were much more interesting things to do than talk.

 

~~****~~

 

“…You fucker…”

Jack was in full flow by the time Daniel got down to the open plan dining-kitchen. He stretched over his lover and pressed the speaker-phone button so he could hear both sides of the conversation. He was gratified by the intake of breath as the firm flesh of his chest made contact with Jack’s shoulder and arm. It took a moment for Jack to get back into the conversation and by that time Simon was in full flow about his visit with General Hammond.

 _“Jack, the man is a legend. I’ve never met a CO like him. And the things he had to tell me. Fuuuck, Jonny. You saved the planet.”_ Simon sounded seriously impressed.

“Once or twice,” Jack said nonchalantly.

Daniel just shook his head at his lover’s modesty. George had obviously read Simon in on the whole program. Daniel wasn’t really surprised. Once you’d met the Asgard it wasn’t much of a leap to believe in snakes in people’s heads and life on other planets.

“Erm, just so you know we’re in the main room at the moment and Izel is prepping lunch,” Jack warned quietly.

“ _Ah, understood_ ,” Simon agreed.

“So what’s next,” Jack continued. “You can’t tell me he let you in on all the juicy stuff and then left it at that?”

“ _Well…_ ” Simon began warily.

“Come on Si,” Jack wheedled. “My security clearance is as high if not higher than yours.”

“ _Maybe in the US. I have my own government to answer to, Jonny, you know that._ ”

“Spit it out, de’Vere otherwise I’m coming back there and beat it out of you. You know I already owe you for the ‘fat ass’ crack.” Jack was grinning even as he made the threat, shaking his head at Daniel who looked a little concerned at the talk of returning to Scotland. He wasn’t ready for that yet, even though he knew Simon was no threat to him.

“ _OK, OK,_ ” Simon laughed. “ _I’m to be made British liaison to the program which means I’ll be spending time in DC and quite a bit in Colorado Springs_.” Simon sounded excited at the prospect. “ _Dav can work from anywhere so we’re thinking about buying a property. I’m coming out there in a few weeks so I thought I could meet up with you both and get some ideas about places to look_.”

Jack snorted. “We don’t have many castles in Colorado Springs. Although **,** I suppose you’re probably rich enough to buy the whole goddamn state.”

Simon huffed out a snort. “ _I’ll have you know the Granville’s owned half of America before the lot of you got all uppity, wanting Independence_.”

Daniel grinned at Jack’s open-mouthed amazement and then sauntered over to the kitchen area where Izel was splitting her concentration between slicing carrots into julienne and listening in on the banter between her employer and Jack. She gave him a broad smile and a little nod of the head as he slipped a few of the finished slivers of carrot into his hand and started munching happily.

“If you let us know what you’re looking for Danny and me will do a trawl of the real estate agents and find you some properties to look at. And at a pinch there’s always Danny’s loft.” Jack looked over at Daniel who nodded agreeably. “You’d feel right at home there, Si,” Jack continued, his eyes twinkling. “It’s full of dusty old antiques, just like the castle.”

Half a carrot flew across the room and landed with a slight ‘thwap’ on Jack’s bare chest. He glared at Daniel who looked back with an air of studied innocence before looking over at Izel, who lifted her hands in mock surrender and shook her head. Jack snagged the vegetable and crunched into it with a flourish. “But **,** really,” he continued through his mouthful, “it would be somewhere to crash while you’re looking and it’s not too far from the base.”

“ _Well **,** as long as Daniel doesn’t mind giving up his bed and sleeping on the couch, although…_ ” Daniel could hear the mischief in the Englishman’s voice, _“…I’m happy to share, especially if Dav is away on a shoot. Could be I’ll need someone to keep me company._ ”

The sound that came from Jack could only be called a growl and Daniel almost choked on his mouthful of carrot. Izel giggled and hid her mouth behind her hand as her eyes sparkled with merriment.

“You’ll keep your fucking hands to yourself de’Vere. I have access to some very interesting weaponry.”

“ _Yeah, yeah, I know you’re a one-man man now. How is our beautiful malo kopač?”_

Jack frowned. That phrase sounded familiar **,** but he couldn’t quite place it. Then a look of recognition flittered across his face as he recognized and placed it in the dim distant past. “Shit, Simon…”

“Lisjack.” They both crowed together.

“Fuck **,** I haven’t thought about that SOB for years…” Jack shook his head as he began to reminisce.

Izel and Jack were so intent on the conversation with Simon that neither of them noticed the color drain from Daniel’s face. The slices of carrot fell from his hand as it began to shake and Daniel brought one hand up to rub the opposite wrist. Without another word he took a step back and then another until he found himself outside on the patio. Without pausing he turned and made his way quickly down the steps and onto the beach, picking up speed until he hit the sand at full pelt, his feet slamming down on the wet sand at the edge of the surf. He ran blindly, driven by a growing terror that crawled up his back; the kind of sixth sense he had learned in the field that told him his worst nightmare was coming up behind and that he should run, Run, RUN!

The beach house was soon way back, across the bay **,** and still Daniel felt he could not slow down, that he should not stop. Stillness was dangerous and only by moving away could he be sure the unnamed terror was not catching him up. Years of running for pleasure and fitness and then for his life meant he was fit and a strong athlete **,** but the fear that had made him run came laced with the adrenaline of fight or flight and he felt himself getting dragged into the kind of panic he had not felt for decades. His limbs became leaden and his muscles started to lock until his knees gave out underneath him and he fell heavily, his whole body shaking. He dropped forward and balanced precariously on his arms, his head lolling between his shoulders,  as he emptied what little was in his stomach into the rolling waves

~~~~

Jack rubbed his hand over his face and chortled. “Dikan Lisjack. I haven’t thought about that Croatian asshole for thirty years.”

“ _That was a great TDY,” Simon reminisced. “We had a lot of fun and the mission was an easy one. Just that quick in and out._ ”

“Was that the one where you were supposed to photograph the drug baron’s lair and ended up in the local brothel,” Jack wondered, rubbing his chin. “You never explained how that particular mistake happened.”

“ _Hey, I was concentrating on taking the pictures._ ”

“And you weren’t surprised that the base of operations of a drug gang was full of beds and scantily clad ladies of the night?”

“ _Hey, gay man here. I thought it was some kind of front._ ”

“So, yeah, that explains the roll of film full of snaps of a particularly buff guy wearing very little – you’re going to tell me next you thought he was the brains of the operation.”

Simon snorted out a laugh. “ _Well **,** it wasn’t his brains that caught my attention_.”

Jack shook his head. “No **,** I remember what it was that caught your attention – there were 36 shots of it. I don’t know how you kept getting away with all that shit.”

“ _Good looks, charm and charisma_.”

Jack blew a raspberry at the handset. “Yeah, right. More like good luck, and a partner who covered your back.”

“ _That you did Jonny-boy, that’s true. I can’t even remember why I know that dumb bit of Croatian. I just remember what it meant and that Dikan used to say it all the time_.”

“’Little Digger’. That old bastard used to rag Henderson with that stupid nickname, just because he always got landed with latrine duty. Although I must admit it was all the useless bastard was good for. He used to hate it when Dikan shouted it across camp though. Not that Henderson knew what it meant until you decided to tell him.”

“ _Hey, Henderson asked me – what was I going to do, lie to him? Name fits our Danny though, really well, wouldn’t you say._ ” Simon commented.

“Our Danny?” Jack growled.

“ _Yeah, yeah, OK. So…How is **your** ‘little digger’_?”

Jack looked back to where Daniel had been standing and was a little surprised to find he was no longer there. He glanced over at Izel who also looked shocked to find that Daniel had disappeared from the kitchen. She shrugged and shook her head. Wiping her hands on a dishtowel she walked over to the open doors and looked out into the patio and plunge pool. Lifting her hand to her eyes she shaded them as she looked across the patio and up the beach towards the head of the bay.

“I’d ask him but he’s done a disappearing act,” Jack grumbled. He hoped that Daniel wasn’t still feeling disgruntled about his past relationship with Simon. In fact **,** he was still feeling a little concerned that they had not yet dealt with the issue of the last dream Jack’d had. That kid was in real physical and emotional pain and yet Daniel was denying all knowledge. The other two visions- dreams, whatever- had proved to have direct links with Daniel’s younger life so Jack was pretty sure this one did **,** too. Jack gave a shudder that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room and remembered the empty despair he had seen in the dream-kid’s eyes.  Then, with a sudden wave of nausea Jack got a flashback of that exact last dream and the kid's voice telling him,

**_“Tell him it's time for malo kopač to be put to rest. He has to remember me…Make him remember me…”_ **

“Fuck!”

“ _Jack…Jack, what’s wrong?_ ”

Jack heard Simon’s voice as if from a long way off. Shit, he had to find Daniel.

“Si, I’ll have to call you back **,** ” he managed to spit out before he dropped the handset on the sofa and swung out of the room at a dead run **,** hearing the tinny sound of Simon shouting his name. As he passed Izel she pointed to the far side of the bay where he could make out the small figure of Daniel, folded in half in the surf. Without another word Jack set off across the beach at a dead run **,** ignoring the jarring of his ankles and knees on the soft sand before he hit the hard pack on the edge of the surf and ran like the devil himself was chasing behind. As he got closer to his lover he could see the younger man was heaving and throwing up into the surf and he felt a hard lump of ice form in his belly. Thirty seconds later he was skidding to a halt on his knees in the sand next to Daniel’s trembling body. He reached out to draw his lover to him and was shocked to see abject fear pouring from his eyes.

“Danny, baby **,** it’s just me, just Jack.” He reached for Daniel with one hand, but his lover just scooted back into the sea, the gentle waves breaking over his thighs as he sat down heavily in the water.

Jack sat very still, watching as Daniel’s eyes darted from left to right, looking for a way out. Jack was sure that Daniel wasn’t seeing him or the beach around him and his worst fears were confirmed when the young man stretched his hands out towards Jack. He was holding them pressed together at the wrist; as if they were bound and Jack swallowed hard as he recognized that pose from his vision of the thirteen year old.

“Please,” Daniel croaked, his voice hoarse from vomiting. “Please…”

Jack felt useless, not knowing how to help his lover, who was obviously caught in the memory of an awful time. He had no idea what to do and no access to anyone to ask. He was kicking himself for not insisting they go back to the mountain. This was some kind of alien influence and he had allowed Daniel to get caught up in it. It was bad enough when Jack himself was dealing with the dreams and the horrible nausea, but Daniel seemed to be caught up in whatever this was and Jack knew enough psychology to realize he was probably in a very dangerous place right now.

A movement to his right caught his eye and in his peripheral vision he saw Izel hurrying along the beach towards them. He put out his hand slowly, wanting to prevent her from coming too close. He didn’t want Daniel to be spooked into running again; Jack thought having to tackle him to the ground would not be the best action right now. But rather than stopping she passed right by him and moved slightly further up the beach. Moving slowly so as not to startle Daniel, Jack moved his head to watch her, wondering what she was going to do.

That’s when he saw him, just as he had been in the dream; thin and gaunt and tied tightly at the wrists. Jack’s heart began to hammer hard in his chest as he watched Izel approach the phantom child. She stopped a few feet from the boy and, bending slowly at the waist, began to speak to him in low, soothing tones. At first the boy didn’t seem to even realize she was there, his focus totally on the trembling figure of Daniel. But after a few moments he turned away and began to look over at Izel.  She murmured to him for a few seconds more before he nodded his head solemnly and stood shakily, his bound hands held stiffly against his chest.

Jack wanted him to stop moving, didn’t want him to come anywhere near Daniel. He was afraid of what it would mean; scared of what he would find out. But deep down he knew this had to happen. Whatever horrors Daniel had gone through as a boy, he needed to remember them and then this could all be over. But what that actually meant for Daniel Jack could only guess. All he could hope was that they could find their way through it without it causing Daniel serious psychological damage. There was no time to get expert help. Jack and Izel were all the help there was. He just hoped it would be enough.

“Mr. Daniel,” Izel spoke softly, her voice a caress against the soft susurration of the surf. Daniel slowly turned to look at her, his eyes wide and brimming with tears. “No more running away **,** ” she whispered gently. “It is time. He is here to help you remember. It is time.”

 

 

 


	16. Through A Glass, Darkly XVI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter contains themes and descriptions of child abuse, violence and rape. Please DO NOT read if you feel you may be affected.

Jack sat on the edge of the sofa in the attic bedroom and watched as shadows passed across Daniel's eyes like clouds on a windy day.

The last hour had been surreal. Jack shuddered as he remembered.

_Only Izel’s surprisingly strong grip on his arm stopped him from moving in front of Daniel as the teenage phantom walked towards his younger lover._

_“There is no danger, Mr. Jack,” she murmured quietly. “This is what has to be.”_

_Jack dragged his eyes from the figure sitting in the water and shook his head. Despite his feeling that this had to happen he couldn’t shake the need to protect Daniel from what was almost certainly an alien influence._

_“You don’t understand,” he growled in frustration, “I can’t tell you why but this could be very dangerous – we don’t know what that…ghost…spirit…thing really is. It could harm Danny.”_

_“How could it harm him, Jack?” Her voice was firm and reassuring. “It **is** him.”_

_Jack gritted his teeth and was about to let his anger out at the small woman when, to his open mouthed amazement, the figure of the boy merged with Daniel and disappeared. With a sharp intake of breath Daniel pitched forward into the surf and lay still and seemingly lifeless on the beach. Jack was moving before he even realised and was hauling Daniel up and into his arms, falling back into the surf as Daniel’s dead weight lolled back in his arms. For a moment Jack was sure his lover wasn’t breathing but then he began to cough and splutter out the small amount of seawater he had inhaled._

_“Jack?”_

_“I’m here, Danny.”_

_“I have to tell you…I have to.”_

The walk back to the beach house had been slow, as Daniel’s feet seemed made of lead and Jack half supporting, half carrying him into the house. Izel had suggested they make the slightly precarious trip upstairs.  Jack hadn’t been sure why and had been about to argue with her when he saw the gentleness of her gaze on Daniel and realised she probably had more insight into what was going to happen next than he did. He’d pushed down his natural protective nature and decided to let this play out how it wanted.

Now he was sitting here, watching, as Daniel sat quietly on the bed, absently rubbing at his wrists. The silence had been so complete that Jack could barely hear the pounding of the surf over the thudding of his heart in his ears. Part of him didn’t want to know what his lover’s younger self had suffered. The idea that someone had treated any kid like that built a cold fist of anger in his gut that seemed to freeze him in place. A tiny voice in his head kept telling him he should be over there, supporting and loving his partner through whatever horrors he was remembering but he was unable to move, caught in the drift of emotions as they flowed across Daniel’s face.

“I was thirteen when I was fostered by Dikan Lisjak.”

The blood fell from Jack’s face and he let out a strangled cry. It couldn’t be…could it? Once again the firm squeeze of Izel’s hand on his arm was the only thing stopping Jack from shouting, throwing out the denial that it couldn’t be the same man; the man he fought and laughed and bled with. His eyes flicked across the Daniel but the other man had not moved; gave no indication that he’d even heard Jack’s outburst.

“They told me that Dikan and Zarah had been foster parents for two years and I was only their second placement. The other kid was a girl and she was two years older than me.” Daniel’s eyes filled suddenly and two fat tears ran down his cheeks, but his facial expression didn’t change.

“I was a difficult kid by then; angry, sad beyond belief and just too clever for my own well being. Zarah was a teacher at the local high school and the social worker told me they hoped she would be able to ‘deal with me’. It was summer break so I think the social worker hoped Zarah would settle me down before the next semester.” Daniel shook his head slightly and closed his eyes as more tears made their slow way across his face.

“I was introduced to Zarah. Dikan was out at work, she said, and the social worker just accepted it, pleased to be getting rid of another difficult case.” Once again Daniel ran his fingers around his wrist gingerly, seeming to feel the rawness that had been obvious around the phantom Danny’s bound wrists.

“Turned out that Zarah was, in fact, Dikan’s sister and she pretended to be his wife so that Child Services would place children in Dikan’s care. He paid her, I think, although the only time we ever saw her was when a case worker was due to visit. I learned quickly to keep your head down and not question anything. I’d just come from a group home where I got smacked around by the other kids most days. At first anywhere that wasn’t that place was OK with me, so I kept quiet and played along the first week when she made her statutory visit.”

Jack swallowed hard, questions and angry words fighting to get out of his closed throat. He wanted to know if this was the same man, but the words wouldn’t form; he was struck dumb by emotion.

“The other kid was Lizzie and she was so beautiful; big brown eyes and hair that curled around her face. She looked older than fourteen which was a bad thing for her because to everyone except for child services she was Dikan’s wife; a child bride, brought back from Croatia.”

Jack felt his stomach turn over as he remembered the conversations with Lisjack about the sweet girls in his home village and their pretty brown eyes. The photograph of the young wife he kept in his wallet. He was desperately trying to do the math in his head. If he was twenty-seven when he was on that op in the Middle East with Simon and Lisjack then it would have been just after young Danny was placed in his foster home. He felt some relief… it couldn’t be the same guy, he was sure of it. His wayward thoughts were brought back to Daniel as he continued to speak, his voice calm and strange; emotionless.

“Lizzie never spoke while I was there. I asked the social worker about it once but she just told me it was confidential. It was only after I’d been there a couple of weeks that I realised she shared his bed. Up till then he’d been OK with me – not kind but not cruel either. That changed when he overheard me asking her why she stayed. I wanted to know why she didn’t run. I was a clever kid; I knew what was going on. But she’d been there two years and I think he’d raped her nearly every day.” Danny’s eyes closed tightly and he seemed to struggle.

Jack tensed, ready to move to him but Izel shook her head and continued to watch, her calm exterior belied by the fierce flash of anger in her eyes.

The young man gave a deep sigh and then looked over at Jack, almost but not quite meeting his horrified gaze.

“Before I knew it I was on my back on the bed with a big KA-Bar against my throat. I could see how honed the blade was and the wrap around the handle was red white and blue with a red star – just like the Socialist Republic of Croatia flag.”

“Fuck.” Jack felt the word slip from his lips without his control. He knew that knife, had seen it cut through branches, clean nails and kill.  Daniel looked up at him, gazing for the first time right into Jack’s eyes. He gave a terse nod and recognition that Jack had known this man, fought alongside him, flickered across his gaze. Daniel continued as if nothing had interrupted his story telling.

“He threatened me, told me he’d cut my throat in front of Lizzie if I even breathed a word to anyone about what was going on in the house. Then he tied my wrists and left me there on the bed while he had sex with Lizzie right next to me. When he’d finished he looked over at me and said, ‘keep your mouth shut _malo kopač_ and I won’t hurt her.’” Daniel was beginning to shake with emotion now, his fingers twisting together. Suddenly he held out a shaking hand and looked beseechingly over at his older lover.

“Jack?”

Jack was over to his lover in a heartbeat and pulling Daniel into his arms.

“OK, baby, I’m here, I’m here,” Jack whispered pressing his lips to his lover’s hair as heaving sobs racked Daniel’s body.

“A-a-after that,” Daniel continued, seeming desperate to rid himself of the whole story. “I was tied at the wrists all the time except for when there was a visit planned. Then he would take me to the bedroom and show me the knife and tell me in great detail how he would cut Lizzie. He bragged about how he knew a hundred ways to kill her and make it hurt. Then I’d be dressed in long sleeves to cover the marks on my wrists and Zarah would talk to the social workers while Dikan sat across the room just staring at me.” Daniel looked over at Izel who was almost vibrating with anger. “I never dared to say a word right now, I wish I had.”

Jack took Daniel’s chin gently in his hand and turned him to look into his eyes.

“Danny,” he began, not knowing how to frame his question. “How did…?”

“One night Dikan had some friends over to play Otvoreni Remi. It’s like…”

“Rummy,” Jack croaked out, disgusted. “I know that game.” Knew it because Lisjack had taught it to them one long cold night.

Daniel nodded and ran a shaking finger along the deep frown lines between Jack’s eyes. “I was tied to the bottom of the bed as usual but I overheard Dikan telling them how his ‘little girlfriend’ was pregnant. They all laughed and told him what a dog he was and how they were all really proud of him. They were laughing and singing and drinking till the early hours and then he rolled into the bedroom.” Daniel was sobbing as he remembered the terrible scene. “She didn’t fight him; she just let him use her. I remember thinking she looked like one of those rag dolls all floppy and boneless. Eventually he rolled over and started to snore.”

Pressing his head into Jack’s shoulder, Daniel carried on, his voicing hitching with emotion. “After an hour Lizzie slid out of bed and went to the dresser where he kept the knife.” He held up his shaking hands, his wrists ringed with red where he had rubbed them over and over. “She cut through the ties and just looked at me. I was so afraid; I thought she was going to kill him.” He looked over at Jack and his eyes swam with tears. “I **wanted** her to kill him but I was so scared; scared that he would wake up and kill her, kill me. So I grabbed my coat and I ran. I had ten dollars that I had stashed in my shoes before I had moved in and I used it to buy a bus ticket. I ended up 200 miles away before the police picked me up.” Sitting up, Daniel gently pulled away from Jack and pressed his arms around himself, self hugging for all he was worth. “Later that night Lizzie killed herself; slit her wrists with his KA-Bar and then lay down on the floor of my bedroom and bled out, alone and silent. The police told me he’d accused me – said I had got her pregnant and then rejected her, that I’d run away when I found her dead on the floor. But one of the detectives was already suspicious and forensics tied the time of death to after I must have left the house to get as far away as I did. They didn’t even get me to make a statement. No one was interested in what I had to say, I was just a foster kid.” Daniel squeezed his eyes shut, as if to hide from the truth of his memories. “I managed to find out, by eavesdropping on a couple of conversations between my social worked and the police, that they did a DNA test on the foetus and found that it was Dikan’s child. By the time they had gathered enough evidence he had disappeared. Zarah said she didn’t know where he was and I’m guessing he took the first black op that came along. I’m think that’s something you know about, Jack?”

Jack nodded reluctantly. Dikan was an assassin, well known for wet work for several governments. His identity was kept under wraps, only divulged to the teams he worked with and even they were never sure if the name they were given was really his. Well it seemed like this time it was and Jack could well believe that information about his whereabouts would be buried, even if the rape of an under-aged girl was involved. He was too good an asset to lose and the life of a fifteen year old was nothing compared to the political gain of having someone like Lisjack on the payroll. Jack opened his mouth to say something – anything to explain what it was to be part of that dark, dangerous world, but Daniel pressed two shaking fingers against his lips and shook his head.

“I do need to hear it, Jack, but not right now, OK?”

Jack nodded, his jaw tight with tension. “So what happened to you then?”

Daniel gave a small, sad smile. “I’d only been there five weeks so they gave me a month of therapy and then a new placement. I lied about what I’d seen; told them he used to tie me to my bed at night. They asked me if he’d ever been sexual with me but I could honestly say no.  I hid what happened from everyone – even myself it seems – because up until today I only had a vague recollection of that time. It was all shadow play. Now though… now I remember it all, every single minute and...” Daniel swallowed hard, breathing hard and leaning heavily against Jack’s chest. “…now I really wish I didn’t.”

Jack pulled his lover more firmly into his arms as if he could protect him from his memories and he could feel the tremors in Daniel’s muscles as he fought for control.

“Mr Daniel?” Izel’s quiet soft voice broke through the tension of the moment and bathed them both in warmth.  Daniel lifted tired eyes to meet hers and she smiled at him. “Maybe you should have a soak in the tub…” She looked over at Jack and he felt the depth of her care and concern. “Mr Jack can help you and then you could perhaps come back up here and rest for a while. There will be time for more talk later.” She pressed her hand to Jack’s forearm and squeezed gently. “I will stay here tonight, so that someone can be awake at all times, in case Mr Daniel needs anything, yes?”

Jack was so grateful to the older woman he almost burst into tears. He had been wondering how he could possibly deal with Daniel’s needs when he was struggling with an anger so deep and hot and bitter that he thought he might explode. He nodded quickly and was graced with a sweet smile from Izel.

“Very well. I will go downstairs, turn on the bath and make a light meal. Come down when you are ready.” She smoothed away a tear that had fallen over Daniel’s cheek and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

Jack watched her leave the room and then turned to press his own kiss to his lover’s slightly chilled skin. “Danny…I don’t…I don’t know what you need, but whatever it is…I’ll try…” His mouth went dry as he struggled to deal with the enormity of Daniel’s story and how closely linked they had been all those years ago without ever knowing. Daniel pressed himself harder into Jack’s arms and gave a small nod.  Jack wasn’t sure what Danny would need in the next few hours; really wasn’t sure he was going to be capable of offering anything like the care Daniel would need to deal with the revelations of the last few hours, but he was willing to try.

~~****~~

Two hours later Daniel had managed a soak in the bath, a few mouthfuls of toast and then dropped exhausted onto the bed. Jack watched him fall into a deep sleep before he asked Izel to stay with him.

Jack made his way down to the main living area and picked up the phone. His hand was shaking as he dialled a long remembered number and waited for a familiar voice to answer.

_“This had better be important…”_

“Si, it’s Jack.”

_“About fucking time. One minute we’re laughing and joking and the next you disappear. Jonny, is everything OK?”_

“Do you have any idea where Lisjack is? Is he still alive?”

_“Dikan? Last I heard – which is about two years ago now - he was working for your lot out in Iraq. Jack, what’s going on? What’s this about?”_

“Turns out…fuck…turns out just before he was sorted to our team for that South American drug cartel mission, he was foster father to a thirteen year old boy.”

_“Foster father. Fuck they must have been desperate. He was one dangerous SOB. I wouldn’t want any kid spending time with him, let alone a kid with problems. How did you find this out Jonny?”_

“It was Danny, Simon. My Danny. And he wasn’t the only one. Do you remember the photo of his wife?”

_“I always thought he was lying about that. The girl in the picture always looked far too sweet to be married to a bastard like him. Are you telling me she was…shit, Jack! Who was she?”_

“Her name was Lizzie. She was fostered by him and his sister who pretended to be married to him. Fuck, Si, he raped that kid for two years before Danny got there. When the social workers placed him there and Danny asked Lizzie why she didn’t run away, that Croatian piece of shit threatened him with that big ass KA-Bar he always carried…”

_“The one with the fancy wrap?”_

“The very same! Then he tied him to the bed and made him watch. For three fucking weeks…fuck, Fuck, FUCK! Then she heard him telling some slime-bag friends of his that she was pregnant, so she used Dikan’s knife to cut Danny free and he ran because he though she was going to kill the bastard. Then she slit her wrists…Christ, Simon, we laughed and played cards with that fucker while a little girl lay dead by her own hand and Danny was shunted off to another family.”

_“Jack, calm down and think this through. What do you want to do? I know why you want to know where he is but, if I can find out for you, what are you going to do with the intel?”_

“You never used to be dense, de’Vere. You know exactly what I’m going to do with any info I can get and the fucker will deserve every last bit of it.”

_“OK…OK, listen. I agree he should be dealt with, but it doesn’t have to be you. You know he has connections that go very, very deep. You go after him and Danny could quite easily lose you.”_

“We can’t just let this go, Si. He was raping a little girl for TWO FUCKING YEARS! He tied up and threatened Danny when he needed love and compassion. Don’t tell me I have to let this go. I may not be the twenty seven year old I was when I last saw him, but I’ve been chasing aliens on other planets for the last five years. I’ve seen and done things he could never imagine even in his fucked up mind. I have skills and access to weapons that leave no trace.”

_“I know all that, Jack and you are more than capable of taking this fucker out, but he’s still an asset. You know how valuable he is. You try and take him on head to head and get caught… well even George Hammond couldn’t save you. You don’t want to do that to Daniel or to the programme. Earth needs you, Jack. Danny needs you.”_

“I never thought you’d let politics get above justice, de’Vere. I can’t believe you think it’s OK to let that filth roam free just because he’s black ops poster boy when you know what he’s done. Seems like a few years behind a desk hasn’t just made you soft. You’re feeding into the bullshit we always fought against…”

_“Just shut it now before you say something you’ll regret. I’m not saying something doesn’t need to be done. I’m saying it doesn’t have to be you, Jack, no matter how much it would feed your sense of justice to be the one to do it. I have some connections; deep cover operatives who owe me a favour or two. If, and I mean if, I can get a handle on where he is and what he’s doing, I can make things happen. But I won’t let you put yourself or Daniel in danger, not for revenge, Jonny. Do you hear what I’m saying?”_

“Yeah…yeah I hear ya.”

_“So leave this with me. I promise you something will be done. I’ll dig up the police files too and see what we can get from that.”_

“Wait, are you saying Daniel’s lying? You didn’t see him, Simon. You have no idea how harrowing this was for him; hearing that name after all this time, facing up to memories that had been hidden for years…”

_“Look, will you stop jumping all over me. I’m on your side…Danny’s side, OK? Of course I believe him. I just want as much intel as possible before I go to my contacts. They’re going to want to be sure that this is a righteous kill. They may be contractors but they’re not murderers. You know the score, Jonny. You’d want to be sure if I was contacting you, wouldn’t you?”_

“Yeah, you’re right.”

_“I know I am. And this way you have no direct contact and neither will I. You know despite the need for this outcome, Daniel is not going to want you to do anything that will put you in any danger. This way, if you want to, you can plausible deniability and I promise he’ll never hear anything from me. So will you leave this to me now? Can you let this go so you can be there for him, because if he’s only just remembering this then you can be fucking sure he’s going to need you.”_

“Thanks, I…”

_“Hey, I love you too, Jonny and I love that beautiful man of yours. If Lisjack did half of what Danny remembers then he deserves everything he’s going to get.”_

“Just promise me you’ll let me know – when it’s done – I want to know that piece of scum is no longer part of the human race. I only wish we could give him to Teal’c. That’s the kind of vengeance I’d pay to see.”

_“Yeah, I’m not sure whether I want to meet him or not. I’ve read some of your mission files and he is sounds like one scary bastard.  I promise, Jack, you’ll be the second person to know after me. Now go and be with your guy. You have another week or so there right?_

“Probably a week. There’s some stuff we should do.”

_“Well leave this with me. Trust me, it’s the middle of the night here but in the morning it’ll get done asap. That bastard won’t be hurting any more kids._

“I trust you, Si. I always did.”

_“Good. Now piss off and let me get back to my beautiful man, you cock-blocking fucker.”_

 

Jack sat for half an hour after Simon hung up with the receiver still clutched in his hand, staring blankly as he tried to process all the angry, violent emotions that roiled around his head and gut. Simon was right; Daniel would need him over the next few days. He just hoped he was up to the job.

~~****~~

Daniel woke slowly for the second time that day, only this time there was no warm mouth or sweet fruit to ease his passage into wakefulness. His eyes were sore and gritty and he was loathe to open them; his throat felt raw, and his head thudded with the heavy press of an incipient headache. He moved experimentally and found his arms and legs ached as if he’d run for miles. The only pleasant sensation was the warm press of toned muscles against his back. He felt something unclench inside him as he relaxed into the gentle embrace of his lover. Although he knew intellectually that Jack would be there for him, the pain of the memories and the emotional turmoil they had churned up had left him feeling vulnerable and insecure. The fact that Jack was here, holding him, did more than any words could to reassure him that eventually everything would be alright.

“J…Jack,” he croaked.

He felt movement behind him and then he was turned gently to face his lover.

“Hey, Danny. Need a drink? Whadda you want? Juice? Water? Coffee?”

Daniel gave a small watery smile at the list. He really wanted coffee but thought it was a bad idea with the pounding in his head threatening to turn into a migraine. “Juice, please.”

Jack’s warm brown eyes crinkled as he smiled and placed a gentle kiss at the corner of Daniel’s mouth. “Izel is a mind reader as well as everything else. She brought up some iced guava juice about five minutes ago.”

Daniel nodded in agreement to a raised eyebrow from Jack and his lover slipped off the bed and poured the sweet juice into a long glass. When he returned to the bedside he handed it over. Daniel downed it gratefully and then held the empty glass out.

“More?” Jack asked as he took it.

“No, thanks, not right now.” Daniel frowned and, moving gingerly he wriggled up the bed to sit with his back to the headboard.

“So I guess it’s time to talk, huh?” Jack looked down at his hands and gave a deep sigh.

“Jack, I realise you knew him…Lisjack…” Daniel was annoyed at the way his voice cracked on the hated name. He was an adult now; decades had passed since the events of that short period in his life. He had been ostracised by his profession, travelled thousands of light years to other planets; been killed and resurrected; got married and then become a widower; fought aliens and yet this one memory had the power to drag him back to the lost, frightened little boy he was then. He didn’t want to let the memories back in but the alien influence had obviously dug it out of his psyche for whatever reason and now he had to face it whether he wanted to or not. “But what he did, to Lizzie…to me…you couldn’t have known.”

Jack nodded but didn’t lift his head to meet Daniel’s gaze.

“Tell me,” Daniel said gently as he reached across the bed to lay his hand softly against Jack’s thigh. With a deep sigh Jack slid down onto the bed and arranged himself next to Daniel. If he wriggled around a little more than was really necessary then Daniel decided to ignore it. He realised that this was almost as difficult for Jack as Daniel’s revelation had been. Despite the closeness they had, as both friends and lovers, Jack’s time in special and black ops was a very closed book. Daniel doubted he had spoken about it to anyone outside the other members of the teams he had been a part of – and perhaps not even then.

“I only ever worked with him once,” Jack began. His eyes were still downcast and Daniel had to clench his fists to prevent himself from reaching out. Jack was vibrating with tension and Daniel knew it would take very little to make him fly off the handle.

“We… Simon and me…we were recruited for an op in South America. A major drug baron was reported to be supporting a pretty corrupt politician, hoping to get him into power, therefore putting the leader of the cartel in a very advantageous position and threatening the political stability of the area. Our job was to get in there and find concrete proof that the two were linked in some way.”

“Why a US team. Why not use internal intelligence networks?” Daniel was interested in the political implications, despite needing to hear the story Jack had to tell.

Jack gave a small, bitter smile. “We found out later that the last team sent into the area had been sent back out again after going missing for 3 months. They were all so traumatised and strung out on cocaine that their intel was useless.”

 Daniel looked over at Jack, shocked that this new team had been sent in without this background information.

Jack nodded almost to himself. “Yep, we were sent in there thinking it was just a quick intelligence gathering exercise – except suddenly there is a new member of our team. Dikan appeared out of nowhere. None of the guys in the team had met him before but Si and I had been around the block a couple of times by that point and had heard a few rumours about a Croatian who was used for wet work, not just by the US but the Brits and the Japanese. Not much else got out about him except his weapon of choice.”

“KA-Bar with a Croatian flag handle wrap,” Daniel gritted out through clenched teeth. He knew the renewed memory of that particular knife would remain with him for a long time.

“You got it,” Jack growled. “Well, we spent about two weeks in some stinking hot jungle while I got Simon in and out of the cartel compound so he could do his stuff.” Jack drew his legs up and rested his forearms on his knees, letting his hands dangle down. He made a conscious effort to relax his fingers from the angry clench that was beginning to make them ache. “We thought that was it; that it was just intelligence gathering but Lisjack was very interested in the pictures and our thoughts on the layout of the compound. When the time came for us to get out of there he disappeared for about three hours and then was at the pickup point - cool as a cucumber. He was just his normal joking self but I remember the sleeves of his jungle camo’s were stiff with blood.” Jack shook his head. “No one even mentioned it.” He looked over at Daniel and he seemed to be waiting for the younger man’s reaction. Daniel just gazed calmly back. There was nothing in this revelation that made him love and respect Jack less but he realised Jack thought there might be.

“It’s funny, you know,” Jack said quietly. “Each mission was like a little world unto itself. You either loved or hated the guys you were working with and only rarely did we ever talk about what we did. I never liked him, but I what he was - a dirty, dangerous killer. If you wanted to put a label to him then I suppose you would say a sociopath. Just the kind of person all those governments wanted to do their dirty work.  I’ve killed. Fuck you’ve been there and seen me do it, but I never enjoyed it and I’ve always believed in the reasons for it, even when I’ve not been doing it to save myself or others: And every time – **every** time it stays with me. ” Jack’s face grew dark with anger. “But he was so blasé, so completely unaffected and now I know…know what he’d done to you and that poor little girl… We played cards with him and joked about his sweet, young wife from the village…Shit, Danny…” Jack dropped his head to his knees, not knowing whether to scream or cry.

“Jack…” Daniel pulled his lover into his arms and slid them back to lie face to face. “You couldn’t have known and anyway, by the time you met him Lizzie was already gone.” Daniel traced the frown lines on Jack’s forehead and continued to softly caress his jaw. “I know you are angry about this – God knows, if I could have kept this to myself I would have…” Daniel was taken aback by the flash of fierce denial in Jack’s eyes.

“You never, ever have to keep stuff from me, Danny,” Jack grated out, his throat thick with emotion. “I just want to…fuck it…that bastard…Ach!”

Daniel saw retribution burning in Jack’s eyes and knew he had to deflect Jack from a course of action that would put him face to face with Daniel’s childhood nemesis. He took in a breath and looked directly into Jack’s eyes. “I want you to promise me you won’t try to find him…to deal with him – even though I know you want to…fuck even though I know I’d want you to, if I’m honest. I just don’t want him to have the chance to hurt someone else I care about and I don’t want to have him always there between us.”

Jack’s heart sped up as he considered telling Daniel what he had already done, but he realised that Simon had been right. This way he only had to tell a small, white lie – a fudge, if you like – but he would still have the knowledge that Lisjack would not be around much longer to hurt anyone.

“As much as I want to, I won’t lay a hand on him, Danny.” Jack winced internally that he wasn’t being entirely honest but kept his face open, as he willed Daniel to believe the truth of the statement.

Daniel’s gaze bored into him for several seconds as he seemed to assess the veracity of Jack’s statement. Moments later Jack was relieved as his lover relaxed and snuggled into his side.

“You know we need to go back to the P4X-993, and soon,” he murmured tiredly.

Jack wasn’t surprised at the sudden change in the conversation. He had been thinking the same thing himself. All of this strange interlude in their lives could be explained by Daniel’s fever after visiting that planet and it was odds on there was some outside alien influence involved. Right now all Jack wanted was to keep his lover safe and for them to relax a little before they got back to the ‘real world’ of the SGC but the realist in him was aware they couldn’t hide away for much longer. He wasn’t looking forward to facing Hammond and Janet and having to explain why they didn’t report straight back to base at the first sign of a problem.

“Yeah, I know,” Jack sighed. “But we can have another week here at least – I think we deserve that.” Turning to pull Daniel into his arms he arranged the younger man half over him with his head pillowed on Jack’s chest.

“Do you think it’s over now?” Jack asked, a little plaintively.

Daniel didn’t have to ask what he meant. “Yeah, I think so.”

The unremitting tension of the last few hours had crept up on them both and they fell easily into a deep, quiet sleep; Daniel’s memories kept at bay by the strong arms of his lover around him; Jack’s anger soothed by the gentle puffs of Daniel’s breath against his neck.

Izel stood in the doorway and watched as they slept. The aura of presentiment she had felt around the two men had finally faded and she was sure they would not be troubled by the visions again. She had overheard Jack’s conversation with Simon de’Vere, and the heat of her desire for revenge against the monster who’d been so abusive had dissipated when she’d realised he was going to be ‘dealt’ with. With a serene expression she smiled at the thin, silent figure of a teenaged girl who stood at the foot of the bed. With a toss of brown curls the child took one last look at the sleeping men, nodded and then faded away.


	17. Through A Glass, Darkly XVII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Short but graphic description of violence

The soft breath of a gentle wind stirred the palm leaves which joined the soft shush of the surf sluggishly making its way onto the pristine beach. Beams of sunlight broke into a million diamonds on the spray that danced over the rocks at the head of the bay and the sweet sound of Black Capped Vireo’s in the jungle that swept up over the hills. Just another day in Paradise.

Daniel sighed; in fact it was their last but one day in Paradise. Despite the heart attack inducing levels of stress this vacation had involved, he was a little in love with the place. He was hoping, now that they both had a closer relationship with Simon de’Vere, the chance to visit La Troza, without alien interference, would not be a pipe dream.

Apart from going home there were other issues on Daniel’s mind.

Jack.

Sex.

Jack and sex, or rather the lack of it.

The last recovered memory had been rough, he couldn’t deny that. There were places he’d had to go he’d much rather have avoided. But there was also a certain sense of release that Daniel couldn’t deny. It was as if that particular part of his life had been lurking in his psyche – poisoning his subconscious - and now it had been lanced. In practical terms that had meant a long day shivering, despite the warm temperatures, and being held closely by Jack. Then the nightmares had come and he’d spent another two days almost comatose with sleep deprivation; Jack, once again, always by his side despite the older man’s tiredness. Now though, Daniel felt more like himself, renewed in fact and somehow a little stronger in spirit and lighter at heart. The problem was that Jack was still in full mother-hen mode; solicitous and caring, gentle and kind to a fault. Trouble was this also meant that Jack was being overly cautious with Daniel as far as his physical and sensual needs were concerned. Oh, he was there with hugs and cuddles; holding Daniel, lavishing him with gentle kisses and soft stroking caresses. But the couple of times in the last day when Daniel had tried to take things further; to deepen the kisses or direct the warm stroking to other, more eager parts of his anatomy, Jack had drawn back with a regretful smile.

It was beginning to piss Daniel off.

They would soon be back to real life – a place where casual touches and relaxed, open affection would be not only difficult but forbidden. It was going to be hard enough to go back to their hidden life together without wasting their last two days on misplaced concern.

Although the events of his short time in Dikan’s ‘care’ and the recovered memory of them were shocking and tragic, Daniel could feel the benefits of having them out in the open. Yes, he'd been abused physically and emotionally by Lisjack’s actions and traumatised by the death of his foster sister. Yes, the knowledge that he had run while she had taken her own life had weighed so heavily on his teenaged psyche that he had repressed the memory. But – and this was a big but – he had not seen her lying there dead in a pool of her own blood, he’d only imagined it. With the benefit of hindsight, and the greater knowledge of the pain one being could inflict on another his present life brought him, he could see this event for what it really was – a tragic incident that should never have happened. He couldn’t bring Lizzie back; he couldn’t take away the pain she'd suffered before he had even been placed in that house. But he could actually believe that his presence there had given her the courage to act in the way she did, to escape from the horror of her life. Daniel would never wish for her to have died; maybe he could have told someone, but with adult eyes he could see how little power they’d both had when faced with the will of a trained and dangerous killer.

Jack had given him the love and space he needed to process these thoughts. What he needed now was to place himself firmly back in the present as Jack’s lover and partner.  Jack seemed to think he needed to keep a little distance when, in fact, Daniel wanted to get as close as possible.

An idea began to form in Daniel’s mind; a plan that needed some help and he knew exactly the right person. With a small, quiet smirk he moved away from the doorway and back into the house, heading into the kitchen where his chosen accomplice was always to be found. 

~~****~~

Jack lay stretched out on the long couch in the family room, watching as Daniel and Izel had a seemingly intense conversation in the kitchen. He smiled a lazy, sexy smile at his lover as Daniel looked across the wide room, but apart from a raised eyebrow, Jack got no hint of what was going on. Even though Daniel looked as calm and relaxed as he had for the last few days, Jack’s trouble radar was pinging. So, he began to get up, planning to eavesdrop on their meeting and hopefully raid the plate of delicious sugar cookies that Izel had only just removed from the oven. The vanilla/spice scent was filling the room and Jack’s stomach gave a gurgle of pleasure at the promise of several of the biscuits making their way into his belly in the next minute or so, along with a glass of the sweet guava juice he knew was stashed in the fridge. As he stood and stretched his arms above his head he noticed Daniel’s eyes zeroing in on the patch of skin beneath the risen hem of Jack’s t shirt. Although he carried on talking to Izel, Daniel didn’t take his gaze from Jack and the older man milked the moment for as long as he could. The fact that Daniel found him attractive was always a boost to his, not inconsiderable, ego. He had to admit he had missed the feel of Daniel’s body on his, but he was very aware of the trauma the recovered memories had dragged with them out of the slime and he was doing his best to be gentle and caring and not push Daniel for anything that might be too emotional, or that would encourage flashbacks. That was getting more and more difficult with each day and now they were so close to returning to Colorado and the ‘real’ world, Jack was craving his lover’s body more than ever. Once home they would have to go back into hiding and Jack found himself hating the idea.

The sound of the phone ringing jarred him out of his thoughts and as he was closest he reached for the handset.

“Paradise found,” he dead-panned.

“ _Jonny_.” Simon’s warm baritone was a surprise. Jack hadn’t been expecting to hear from him before they returned home.

“Si?”

_“Just so you know, Jack, this is not a secured line.”_

“Understood.” Jack got the message immediately. Simon had something to tell him but he was going to have to read between the lines.

“ _Thought you’d want to know I heard some news about an old colleague of ours today_.” de’Vere’s voice sounded nonchalant, as if he was imparting some mundane piece of information. “ _Do you remember a Croat called Lisjack?”_

Jack felt his heart rate rise a little. Now this was what he had been hoping for. He schooled his voice to mimic Simon’s semi-interested tone. “Yeah, yeah, I think I do. Some South American mission wasn’t it?”

“ _Yes, that’s the one. Well, news on the wire is he’s been found in a village just outside An-Najaf._ ”

“Found?” Jack was a little wary of that word. It made it sound like the bastard was still alive. That wasn’t what they had discussed and Jack had to work hard not to let his frustration leak over into his voice.

“ _Wire has it he was on an unsanctioned mission. Troops on routine sweeps found him hanging from the side of a building. He was nailed up by his wrists and ankles_.”

“Nasty,” Jack commented, whilst thinking that it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.

“ _That’s not all_ ,” Simon continued, a little gloating tone coloring his voice. “ _He’d been gutted and his innards doused with petrol. The troop commander seems to think they scared off the hostiles before they could set light to him. Whoever it was did a real number on him. He was still alive, barely, when they found him, but he died on the way to the field hospital.”_

Jack felt something click in his head as he heard those words. Revenge was not usually in his personal lexicon. He had killed in self-defense and in circumstances that would seem dirty to those outside his world, but he had never killed for pure revenge. This though, felt so completely right that he could only allow the satisfaction to settle in his gut. “Well, that’s a real shame. We’ll have to have a drink on him.” His voice was light and only slicked with the faintest veneer of concern and he was sure Simon could hear all the things he wanted to say; the kind of things Simon was probably saying himself on the other end of the line.

“ _Yeah, I have a nice brandy I wouldn’t mind sharing for a good cause._ ”

Jack could almost hear the laughter and he let a smile split his face.

“ _So, on a lighter note, you‘re heading back to civilization in a couple of days, right?_ ”

“Day after tomorrow. It’s a late flight so we won’t be back in the Springs till late Friday night. When will you be coming to the States next?”

“ _Davin has a shoot at the end of the month, so I thought I’d use the opportunity to come over, meet up with you guys at the Mountain and do some house shopping.”_

“That gives Danny and I the chance to do a first trawl of the real estate agents and get them looking for what you want…which is?”

“ _Nothing too huge, although I’ll be expected to do some entertaining of British Service types. I’ll probably be looking for something with no more than ten bedrooms, eight or nine full bathrooms and formal as well as domestic living space. A cottage in the grounds for staff would be good, too. A nice view of the Rockies would be the icing on the cake.”_

Jack shook his head and blew out a breath. “You may have to think about building if you want a spread like that. How much are you wanting to spend?”

“No more than 5 million.” Simon said blithely.

“Dollars!?” Jack yelped

“ _No, don’t be an idiot, Jonny, none of your Yankee money. Pounds sterling. I should be able to get what I want for that, eh?”_

“Crap! I should hope so. The agents will be queuing up to earn the kind of commission you’ll be paying.”

“ _Well, find me some people to talk to and I’ll be happy. The sooner I have a place of my own the happier I’ll be, and in the meantime I’ll take Daniel up on his offer of the use of his apartment. I take it you won’t mind having him as a house guest for a while?”_ Simon almost sniggered but kept it together, well aware that this kind of conversation should also not be carried out on an unsecured line.

“Yeah, he’s bunked with me before, so it won’t be a problem.” Jack did smirk and his all too pleased look caught Daniel’s attention. The younger man patted Izel’s hand and began to make his way over to the living area. “Hey, Si, I have to go and eat some of Izel’s cookies, so we’ll catch you at the end of the month. Thanks for letting me know.”

“ _The pleasure was all mine.”_

“Simon,” Jack said in reply to Daniel’s raised eyebrow. “He wants us to talk to some agents about finding him a house. They’ll be over in the States at the end of the month.”

Daniel smiled broadly. “Great, I can’t wait to see Davin again. He’s going to take me shopping in Denver. Apparently there are a few relatively unknown young designers based there that have come to his attention and he wants to check them out.”

“Designer shopping with an international model? I hope you realize what damage that may do to your finances. Simon has already scared the crap outta me by asking me to look for houses in the nine million dollar bracket,” Jack frowned.

“Yeah, but just think how cool it will be to have a friend with that kind of place. Parties, Jack.” Daniel teased him and winked.

“I’m more a beer and hockey kinda guy,” Jack grumbled.

Daniel gave him a blinding grin. “Yeah, and I love you just like that, too.” Daniel put his hands gently over Jack’s cheeks and drew him in for what started out as a chaste kiss but soon turned into a deep, passionate lip-lock that left Jack slightly winded and diamond hard. As Daniel lifted his lips from Jack’s the older man moved to follow his lover’s soft mouth, but Daniel was already stepping away.

“I’m going for a run,” he said, his eyes full of heat and mischief.

Yeah, it was getting hard to be the concerned, caring partner. Very hard, just like Jack.

~~****~~

Jack wandered into the kitchen, bare-chested, his beach shorts hanging low on his hips. A post sugar-cookie rush had left him dozing and lethargic under a parasol by the pool.  The rest had left him feeling refreshed and, if he was honest, more than a little horny. He was thinking of testing out how Daniel felt about some afternoon delight - that was if he could find him. The house was quiet and Jack started to get a little concerned about Danny’s run and whether or not he’d actually come back yet. He checked the clock on the oven and realized he’d been sleeping for a couple of hours and he had no idea where his lover or Izel were.  A noise from the patio doors behind him made him turn, expecting to see his lover. In fact he came face to face with the dark eyes and broad smile of Juan, the pilot of the panga.

“Buenas tardes, Señor.”

“Hey, Juan. We don’t usually see you in the afternoon. Hasn’t Izel gone back to the mainland yet?”

“Yes, Señor. I have just come back from taking her over. I am here to find you, now. We are to go for a trip, yes?”

“A trip?” Jack frowned, “Is this something to do with Daniel?”

Juan shrugged, his face a picture of innocence that Jack didn’t trust one little bit. “I was just told to collect you, Señor. I have no knowing what for.”

Jack gave an irritated huff. He didn’t like surprises, but it looked as if he was going to have to swallow down his misgivings and go along with the boatman. He was sure Daniel had something planned, but he wasn’t quite convinced he was going to enjoy it.  His stomach gave a disgruntled groan and he realized it had been a while since he'd eaten anything substantial. “Do I have time for a snack,” he asked, but found himself unsurprised when Juan shook his head.

“I must return to the mainland in an hour, so we must darse prisa.” Juan snorted at Jack’s uncomprehending frown. “Hurry, hurry,” he explained.

“Alright, keep your pants on,” Jack grumbled. After a quick dash upstairs to grab a fine cotton shirt and slip on a pair of open-toed sandals, he followed the Mexican out of the house and over to the panga which was bobbing just back from the edge of the surf, where the deeper water began. They both waded out and heaved themselves onto the deck of the boat. Jack got himself settled at the prow as Juan expertly started the outboard engine and began to maneuver the small craft away from the surf line and out into the bay, angling to follow the curve of the beach around to the right of the house.

Jack looked back at Juan and smirked. “So, you can tell me, where are we going? I promise I won’t let on that you told me.”

“Señor Daniel said you would say that.” Juan answered, infuriatingly.

“Awww, come on. I hate surprises. At least give me a clue.”

Juan barked out a loud laugh. “He said you would say that, also.”

Jack turned back to the sea with an irritated huff, but then turned back to look at the pilot with a quirked eyebrow. “I never thought of this before, but how does Izel get on the boat. I’m sure she doesn’t wade through 100 feet of seawater and heave herself onto the deck.”

Jack was gratified to see a dark blush spread across the other man’s tanned skin.

“I do not make her do such a thing, she is a verdadera dama – a woman of manners, si?”

“Soooo,” Jack continued with a grin, “answer the question…how does she get into the boat?”

Juan’s blush darkened even more. “I carry her, Señor.” He admitted and then stuck out his chin in a defiant pose.

“Oh, Juan, you dog!” Jack teased with a wink. He was about to poke the hapless sailor a little more when the panga bumped up against the sandy bottom just feet away from a golden beach which Jack recognized immediately.

Juan gave him a knowing look and pointed off towards the two palm trees leaning into one another. “Señor Jack, I was told to tell you to follow your feet and you would find something…interesting.”

Jack smirked back at him and jumped off the prow of the boat, splashing through the shallow water until he reached the soft golden sand beyond. He turned and gave Juan a jaunty salute before setting off up the beach towards the entrance to the ‘Enchanted Cave’. His heart was beating a little faster than normal as he reached the place where the sand met the jungle beyond. His memories of the erotic time they‘d spent in this magical place filled his head and he began to harden in anticipation.

“Now, Jack,” he mumbled to himself, “let’s remember that Daniel might not want what you want.” He knew what he wanted, his body was practically begging him for it, but he was aware that the events of the last few days had been very emotional for Daniel. “Just take it easy, old man,” he sighed to himself and then let out a pained yelp as his foot impacted a rock on the path. He drew his foot back and was about to kick it out of the way when he realized that his bare toes and a rock wouldn't have been a happy meeting. He’d half stooped to pick the stone off the path when he recognized that it was part of a larger pattern - a bent arrow pointing off to the right, away from the entrance to the cave. He couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed as it looked increasingly like he wasn’t going to get a repeat of their first visit to the cove.

He walked on for several meters on the sandy path leading deeper into the jungle, taking careful notice of what was beneath his feet and he was rewarded with several more makeshift arrows made of twigs, small rocks and shells.

Finally, his eyes still trained on the ground in front of him, he almost walked straight into a large rock formation that was split down the middle, as if some giant had taken an axe to it. It reminded him a little of the entrance to the Unas cave and he gave a little shudder at the memory; that hadn't been a good day. As he scanned the rock he found a large X marked on it alongside a rather lascivious looking smiley face. Jack once again found his hopes rising along with the contents of his shorts and he grinned to himself as he squeezed through the rather narrow gap. 

Almost immediately the space opened out into a pathway which was lit by glow-sticks. Their green light gave the walls of the cave an eerie feel and Jack heard the sound of water – a lot of water - just up ahead.

After a few meters further on Jack stopped in his tracks, so overwhelmed by the view in front of him, his breath froze in his lungs. The pathway opened out into a large cave, twice the size of the one Simon had found. A pool of sparkling water covered the floor and Jack could see the bottom was only three feet or so down, by the light of several more glow-sticks, blue this time, which shone up from the depths. By far the most breathtaking sight was the twin waterfalls which raced down the back wall of the cave, and there, highlighted by hurricane lanterns and pastel pink lights was Daniel. He was turned with his back to Jack, submerged to the lower swell of his bottom and totally naked.

The sound of want that came from Jack’s mouth was feral and guttural and he barely stopped himself from leaping across the pool and claiming his mate. ‘Maybe this is an Unas cave after all,’ he thought, as he licked his lips.

The noise must have been louder than he thought or else Daniel had heard him enter the cave. His lover turned and gazed at him over his shoulder, the water powering down over his slick, naked skin making him look like some kind of water god.

Daniel said nothing, didn’t even smile and the spray from the falls caught on his eyelashes and brows, reflecting the flickering light of the lamps like a myriad tiny diamonds.

Jack couldn’t find his voice and was unable to make his leaden limbs work. He felt frozen in place by the sight of his lover, so beautiful and otherworldly. It could have been mere seconds or hundreds of days, Jack had no idea how long they stood there looking at one another. Finally Daniel made the first move, turning away from the torrent and wading across the shallow pool, his wet muscled body shining with a rainbow of lights. The thatch of dark hair leading to his half-hard cock was just visible above the undulating surface and Jack felt his mouth go dry with want.

And then Danny was right there in front of him in all his naked glory. Jack reached out a trembling finger and traced the passage of a large water drop as it made its way from Daniel’s temple, down his cheek and along his jaw. He continued the same path, trailing his fingertips down the long neck and onto his broad, muscled chest. Without a sound Daniel mirrored his actions, feathering his fingers over the outline of Jack’s nipple beneath the fine cotton of his shirt. The silence felt as heavy as their breathing and Jack could feel a prickle of sweat break out across his shoulders as Daniel’s long fingers began to push the buttons of his shirt through the buttonholes. There was no urgency in his actions, but there was a telltale tremor in the younger man’s fingers as he opened the front of the shirt and smoothed his hands across Jack’s lightly haired chest.

Jack let out a shaky breath, still fighting with the urge to hold himself back from his lover. He wanted him, God, how he wanted him, but he also didn’t want to do anything that might take Daniel back to his recovered memories.

Daniel leaned forward and pressed a small open-mouthed kiss to Jack’s temple and then breathed into his ear, “You’re thinking too hard, Jack. I want you…I want to suck you and then fuck you and make some memories of this beautiful place that belong just to us, OK?”

Jack’s speech center was completely overwhelmed by Daniel’s declaration of intent and so he just nodded, his chest heaving with desire.

Then Daniel was kissing him, hot, heavy and totally owning him. Jack found he was perfectly fine with that and allowed Daniel to take control.  His lover spread his big hands across Jack’s shoulders and pressed him back until he felt the rough cave wall behind him. Smoothing his hands over and across Jack’s upper arms Daniel pushed his shirt down and off his arms until it pooled behind him, dropping down onto the sandy floor. Daniel carried on kissing him, stealing Jack’s wits and breath, as his deft fingers untied the cord and popped the button at the waistband of Jack’s shorts. Those, too, seemed to be spirited right off his body without Jack having any idea how it happened. Finally they were both naked apart from Jack’s sandals. He had no intention of moving his mouth from Daniel’s and some small part of his brain decided that he would just have to carry on wearing them no matter how dorky he ended up looking.

Daniel, however, had a different idea. Gracefully he sank to his knees at Jack’s feet. Jack got fully hard so quickly he swayed with the blood loss from his brain as he looked down and saw Daniel’s beautiful mouth so close to his straining cock. Daniel ran light fingertips along Jack’s ribs then pressed his thumbs into the crease between his belly and thigh. Jack swallowed thickly, his cock giving a jump in Daniel’s direction as if to make its presence known. His lover’s mouth curved in a knowing smile, tongue peeking out to swipe across his lower lip and Jack gave a very unmanly whimper, his legs trembling in anticipation. Rather than leaning forward, Daniel continued the motion of his hands and took them down the length of Jack’s legs; across the muscled thighs, down past the scarred knees to his bony ankles, where he deftly flicked the straps on Jack’s shoes. Pressing upwards he encouraged Jack to lift his leg as he hooked off the first sandal and then placed Jack’s naked foot on his broad shoulder. Jack felt exposed as Daniel pressed small bites up his calf muscle as his hand whispered back up his inner thigh. Daniel didn’t stop until his hand was gently cradling Jack’s balls, his long pointer finger lying flat against his perineum, not moving but putting exquisite pressure on the sensitive flesh. Pre-come was pooling at the head of Jack’s cock and Daniel leaned forward as his tongue snaked out to taste. Jack moaned and the sound echoed around the cave, amplifying it above the sound of the rushing water.

After a couple of cat-like laps Daniel moved back and placed Jack’s foot on the floor, before repeating the whole move again with the other foot. This time his finger moved back further, glancing across Jack’s pucker and it felt to Jack like every nerve ending was pulsing with tiny electric shocks. He was glad of the solid rock behind him as his legs went weak and he leaned more heavily against it.

“Ffffuck, Danny,” he managed to breathe out as Daniel once again placed his foot on the floor. Jack’s cock was jumping in time with his pulse which was thundering in his ears. He hadn’t been this turned on from so little stimulation since he'd been a kid, but he felt almost on the verge of coming without Daniel even having touched Jack’s cock with his hands. His gaze wandered down the length of his body as Daniel shuffled slightly to place his mouth only millimeters from Jack’s erection. With a wicked smirk Daniel folded his hands behind his back. The dominance of his expression mixed with the subservience of his pose fried Jack’s synapses. Time seemed to slow as he watched Daniel lean forward and engulf his cock in that lush, hot, wet mouth. Jack clawed at the rock behind him with scrabbling fingers as he fought for any semblance of control against the onslaught of Daniel’s clever mouth. The younger man pressed forward until the head of Jack’s cock was nestled in his throat and then, with an almost demure look up at Jack’s face through his lashes, he swallowed, deep-throating Jack with consummate ease. It was all too much. His orgasm powered up his legs, around his hips and into his balls like an express to ecstasy. He came so hard there were white spots floating in his vision and the sound of the rushing water in the cave was muted by the thundering of his pulse in his ears. He shot three times; the third spurt landing in the center of Daniel’s tongue as he pulled back to breathe.  While Jack was panting, still shuddering with aftershocks, Daniel rose gracefully and pressed his whole body against Jack from knees to chest and, grasping his chin with strong fingers, he pressed his tongue into Jack’s open mouth, feeding him his own come.

Jack moaned and his cock gave a half-hearted final spurt before his legs gave out from under him. Only Daniel’s weight against him held him upright and Jack was grateful when his lover placed strong arms around his shoulders holding him against the younger mans firm, broad chest.

“Can you walk now?” Daniel asked a few minutes later.

Jack let out a little whimper. He was still having an out of body experience, but he was also aware that Danny hadn’t come and Jack could feel the heat of the younger man’s hard length against his trembling thigh.

“Umm…yes?” He answered, still a little unsure whether it was a lie or not.

Daniel laughed, full and throaty and so sexy that Jack’s cock gave a little lurch, as if it was trying to kid itself there was any chance of getting hard again in the next century. “OK, well I’ll help.” He started to lead Jack around the side of the pool and to the left of the twin falls and Jack noticed in the gloom a line of glow-sticks fading off into a dark recess at the back of the cave.

“Where are we going?”

“I’ll give you one guess.” Daniel replied with a grin.

Only a few steps further and the roof opened out and the space in front of them became familiar. The platform bed and the myriad crystals sparkling by the light of several flambeaus gave Jack a thrill of familiarity.

“Danny, when did you do all this?” Jack looked at the younger man, his eyes still dazed.

“I didn’t go for a run, Jack.” Daniel grinned again. “Wow, I really killed some brain cells there didn’t I.”

Jack nodded and went willingly to the bed and slid down onto his back with only a little pressure on his shoulders from Daniel. His lover stood at the end of the platform and dragged a heated stare across Jack’s sated body.

In a split second the dark, dangerous Daniel was back as lust clouded his eyes, his pupils blowing out to almost eclipse the vivid blue irises. Like a cat he slinked over Jack’s body on hands and knees until their mouths were level. The next kiss was deep and possessive and spoke of heated passion.

“I want you to listen to me, Jack,” he breathed into the older man’s mouth. “I am not some fragile little flower and you know that. I’ve been through more in my life than most other people. You and I have seen things and places most people would never believe.” He nipped briefly at Jack’s lower lip and despite his very recent orgasm, Jack found himself getting turned on all over again.

“You don’t have to protect me,” Daniel continued, “and you definitely shouldn’t withdraw sex from me. I want you, Jack, all the time. You are the constant in my life and this is the one thing we can share that is just ours.” The kiss that followed was warmer and more loving, but still with the edge of danger that was pulling Jack back to heightened arousal.

“We have to hide from everyone else. Even those people who know about us can’t really talk to us about it. But when it’s just the two of us we can be as open as we want to be. And I never, ever, want to feel like you’re holding back just to protect me. You understand?”

Jack nodded and then groaned loudly as Daniel’s tongue plunged into his mouth, taking and tasting, hot and limber against his own.

Jack jumped slightly as slick fingers pressed behind his balls and slid along his taint to skim around his hole. He had no idea when Daniel had managed to find and uncap lube, let alone coordinate wetting his fingers, but he couldn’t find the brain cells to care. He was overwhelmed by Daniel’s mouth and fingers and body.

“Danny, yes baby, fuck me, please.” He pleaded, unashamed of his need to feel Daniel inside him.

“My pleasure,” Daniel purred as his finger slid smoothly inside Jack right to the second knuckle, making Jack hiss with the pleasure/pain of the initial burn. One finger quickly became two and then three as Daniel grew more aggressive, his need to be buried inside Jack overpowering his higher brain functions.

Jack was riding his fingers, angling his hips to facilitate pressure on his prostate and the sounds he was making were driving Daniel insane with need. Finally, he could take no more and, rising to his knees, he pulled Jack’s legs across his thighs and pressed his almost painful cock against Jack’s slick hole.

The hot, tight space around the head almost robbed Daniel of his control. “A mi hombre, mi precioso puto hombre,” he moaned as he tried, with almost superhuman effort, to hold himself back, to give Jack time to adjust to the thick stretch of his length. But Jack was unwilling to wait and pressed his heels into Daniel’s ass, pushing him forward until he was buried balls deep.

“Fuck me, Danny.” Jack moaned, his eyes hot with desire and arousal.

Daniel growled and pulled out in one slow smooth motion before plunging back into Jack’s welcoming heat over and over again. “Quiero ser dueño de su cuerpo, que te folle duro y largo hasta llegar con mi nombre en sus labios exuberantes. Mi amor, mi vida.”

Daniel’s strokes soon became stuttering and uncoordinated as his orgasm pooled in the base of his spine. He’d been simmering on the edge of arousal all day and now he was finally where he’d wanted to be for the last few days, he found he couldn’t hold back.

Jack was clutching and clawing at Daniel’s back, his renewed erection rubbing slickly against the tight muscles of Daniel’s lower belly and the sounds that were coming out of his mouth were adding a layer of aural sensation over and above the feel of Jack’s body beneath and all around him.

Finally the stimulation was all too much and with a yell of completion, Daniel fell into orgasm, filling Jack over and over again, moaning loudly.

The vision of Daniel, head thrown back in the throes of coming, alongside the feeling of his come hitting Jack’s prostate took had Jack following his lover over the edge and left the older man hanging on to Daniel as they both shuddered through aftershocks and then welcomed the warmth of afterglow.

“So,” Jack murmured drowsily. “Sex is back on the menu then.”

Daniel snorted and tightened his arms around his lover. “It’s never been off, you idiot.”

“Good to know,” Jack hummed contentedly as he drifted off to sleep.

~~****~~

 

_A mi hombre, mi precioso puto hombre: My man, my gorgeous, fucking man._

_Quiero ser dueño de su cuerpo, que te folle duro y largo, hasta llegar con mi nombre en sus labios exuberantes: I want to own your body, to fuck you hard and long, until you come with my name on your lush lips. My Love, my life._


	18. Through A Glass, Darkly XVIII

Daniel looked over at his lover as the event horizon winked out. They were back on P4X-993 and to be honest he was really rather apprehensive about what he was going to find here. Part of him wanted answers; what the purpose of forcing the memories to the fore was and why he'd been chosen. The other side of him was more than a little afraid of what they would be dealing with. He knew he couldn’t go through another time like the last few weeks.

 

Their return from La Troza had heralded a battery of tests, blood draws and scowls from Janet and a really rather thorough dressing down from the general. Daniel knew they were both angry with him and Jack for keeping the details of the alien influence from them, but they had both agreed on the flight home that it had felt right to deal with it alone. Now here they were, trying to officially find out what had affected them on this planet and also to hopefully draw a line under the events of the last month or so.

 

Daniel’s gaze wandered over to Jack.  There was something pensive about his lover that Daniel hadn’t been able to get a handle on. At first he’d thought the older man was just readjusting to being back in Colorado. They’d both found it stressful and frustrating to once again be watching every word and gesture lest it give them away. They knew General Hammond was aware of their relationship; that he would try to deflect any attention that came their way. But the loss of the simple pleasures of holding hands, kissing when they felt the urge and sleeping together every night felt like a huge deal and Jack had been downright morose despite every attempt Daniel had made to cheer him up.

 

P4X-993 was the first off-world mission since their return and Daniel was hoping it would reignite Jack’s enthusiasm; get him back in the saddle so to speak. Daniel smiled wryly to himself. Who was he trying to kid. If he was honest, the spark had gone for him, too. The years of being off-world, running into trouble; being hunted, hurt and tortured, were beginning to far outweigh any joy at the discovery of new cultures and civilizations.  The powers that be were pushing the missions with a military aspect to the forefront as opposed to those making allies and first contact; sometimes Daniel felt more like a soldier than an archaeologist. He pulled his gaze from Jack and looked around at the terrain. There was a huge moon hanging in a sky streaked with neon green clouds. The ground was covered in white salt deposits that looked exactly like snow, except the temperature was a perfectly balmy 75 degrees. There was, of course, the obligatory tree or two, but Daniel knew that was to be expected. What frustrated him was that he had no idea what had caused the events of the last few weeks and he hated feeling so out of his depth.  ‘Perhaps that’s why I feel so thoroughly disenchanted,’ he muttered to himself.

His musing was cut short by a firm but gentle hand on his shoulder; a touch so familiar it made his heart warm.

“Ready to move out, Danny?” Jack asked, his eyes crinkling in a fond smile. “T and Sam are going to secure the gate and collect extra soil and mineral samples while we go back to the rock pile.” “Temple ruins, Jack.” Daniel replied with a grin, knowing the comeback was expected of him.

“Yeah, whatever.”  Jack sketched a sloppy salute towards the other half of their team and they set off to walk the short distance to the ruins, which were close enough to be visible in the distance.

They walked in comfortable silence until about half way to the structure. Jack cleared his throat as if to speak and then fell silent again. Daniel quelled the urge to ask if he was alright, knowing Jack would speak when he was ready. Daniel somehow knew whatever Jack was mulling over was big and trying to get him to open up before he was ready was going to end badly. Out here in the field he couldn’t even offer a hug or a kiss to soothe and encourage his lover, but he did let their fingers brush for a moment as they walked and was gratified to receive a small smile from Jack.

“Tell me again what happened last time you were here,” Jack asked, obviously changing the subject from their unspoken conversation.

Well, if Jack wasn’t ready, Daniel was perfectly willing to give him the time and space he needed. If nothing else, the visions they’d had proved they needed to communicate more clearly and to listen with an open mind.

“I was translating some inscriptions on the main temple wall,” Daniel began.

“By translating, you mean running your fingers all over them and muttering to yourself,” Jack retorted.

Daniel gave him a sheepish look. In fact that had been exactly what he was doing. “Shut up! So I was translating and then suddenly I felt a sort of shock, like static electricity and my vision went…”

“Sort of like a dream sequence in a hokey movie?” Jack interrupted.

Daniel frowned. “Yes exactly that, how did you know?”

“Because that’s what happened to me when I touched you in the infirmary.” Jack bit at his lower lip. “Whatever this thing was it transferred between us.”

“Yes, but not anyone else. If it was a virus or a contagion it would’ve moved to others; Janet and the nurses, the SF’s in the gate room, the other members of SG-3. But it didn’t.”

“Sooo,” Jack drawled. “What do you think it was?”

“Fucked if I know,” Daniel replied, frustrated.

Jack snorted loudly. “Something the great Dr. Jackson doesn’t know. That must frustrate the hell out of you!” He laughed at the glare Daniel gave him.

“Perhaps I can illuminate this issue for you.”

Daniel was pushed to the ground as, in one move, Jack pressed on his shoulder and flicked off the safety on his P-90, whirling to the location of the strange voice. Daniel slowly turned his eyes in the same direction and was amazed to see the strangest looking being they had ever encountered in all their exploration through the Gate.

Floating about three feet off the ground the alien seemed to be made of a swirling cloud of purple and white light that rippled and glowed. Set near the top of the cloud was a clearly discernible face, reptilian in nature with bulging white eyes beneath a crest of white, feather-like plumes fluttering in the breeze.

“Shit,” Jack hissed in Daniel’s ear. “It looks like one of those glowy people, like that Oma gal. Only more like a toad than a person. An ascended toad, Danny?”

Daniel gave Jack a quelling look and despite the heavy hand on his shoulder he struggled to his feet and faced the creature.

“I am…”

“I know who you are, Dr. Daniel Jackson. I see the threads of your existence stretching out in front and behind you.”

Jack frowned and took a small step forward, inserting his body between the alien and Daniel. He waved the end of his P-90 towards the creature and Daniel could see he was in full ‘protector mode’; his body tense and ready for action, his eyes steely and focussed.

“Jack,” Daniel pleaded quietly. “He’s not made any aggressive actions towards us. Can we just let him talk?”

“Are you one of Oma’s glowy club?” Jack asked, belligerently.

The creature looked as confused as it was possible with its reptilian features. A little bubble of hysteria rose in Daniel’s chest as he thought about all the different species in the galaxy Jack had managed to baffle.

“Jack is talking about ascended Ancients. We’ve met Oma Desala and one of our team was visited by another called Orlin.”

Again the range of facial expression available to the being left him looking slightly constipated, but the feeling Daniel got was that the alien was rather disgusted.

“Yes, we know of them, but we are not of them.” The being’s voice was sibilant and slightly slurred, but the hardness in the tone was clearly detectable. There was obviously no love lost between the two species.

“I am L’mar of the Amaranth and we lived many millennia before the Ancients decided the higher planes were their intended destination. Their thread is so far only tenuously linked with those of you and your mate, Daniel.”

Jack and Daniel looked at one another and Jack’s eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. He didn’t like or trust the ascended and the thought that they might be floating back into their lives didn’t fill him with joy.

“You keep talking about threads and our lives. Are you fortune tellers? Can you see the future?”  Jack demanded, ignoring the glare he got from Daniel. He was feeling very insecure. Their position was vulnerable to say the least and the creature seemed totally unfazed by Jack waving around his automatic weapon. He remembered what had happened to the Jaffa at Kheb and shuddered. If this creature had half that power then he and Danny were pretty much sitting ducks.

“We are able to read the threads of possibility which emanate from all living things. The myriad options available to each of you are clear for us to see.”

“So, what happened to me when I was here…?” Daniel asked.

“Was a mistake that we were unable to rectify, as you left the planet before we were aware.”

“What you did to him…it nearly broke…us…him…apart.” Jack’s voice was cracked and tinged with anger and sadness and Daniel moved to press along his side, offering support and also recognizing this emotional state left Jack feeling vulnerable, which in turn made him all the more dangerous.

“I understand that dealing with the effects of the Sturina without proper guidance will have been disorientating and maybe even dangerous. It is a testament to your strength both of character and emotions that you are here and unaffected.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say unaffected,” Jack replied coldly. “We went through hell…”

“But we survived, Jack.” Daniel pressed a firm hand to Jack’s shoulder, pleading by touch to be allowed to continue questioning the Amaranth. He felt the tension in Jack’s muscles give a little and shift away from such an overtly aggressive stance.

“So what happened? What is the Sturina and why was I affected when no one else in my team was?”

“We receive visitors; supplicants you might say, from many races in the galaxy.  The Sturina is a biological anomaly – a virus if you will – that seeks to untwist the knots in the threads of life that have emotionally damaged the supplicant.  All bring another with them who will tend them through the initial physical effects and then support them during the inevitable emotional stresses of the aftermath.” L’Mar looked positively sorrowful as his big milky white eyes slid over Daniel. “Your threads were so tightly woven with pain and difficulties that the Sturina sought you out with unprecedented ferocity.”

“You’re right about that,” Jack spat, his anger fully back at the fore. “He almost died. You could have contacted us, helped us to help him.”

“We cannot leave this place. It is our duty to fulfil the needs of those who come here on pilgrimage. We are tied to the planet and have no freedom. Once Daniel had gone through the Astria Porta we had no means of getting him back.” The being floated forward and the edges of its glowing cape of lights drifted around both Jack and Daniel.

“Hey,” Jack yelled, his P-90 once more at the ready. “Back off, buddy.”

“Fear not, Jack O’Neill. I wish no harm to you or your mate, merely to explain and perhaps atone for the pain and difficulty the touch of the Sturina on Daniel put both of you through.”

Suddenly they were back in the Enchanted Cave at La Troza, but this time they were accompanied by L’Mar.  Both Jack and Daniel were dressed in beach clothes and Jack’s weapon was no longer hanging from a clip around his neck.

“Now wait a minute…What the FUCK!”

Daniel had to physically stop Jack from launching himself in what would no doubt have been a useless attack on the floating alien. “I don’t think this is real, Jack.”

“You are correct, Dr. Jackson. We are in fact in a construct made from the most recent happy memory in both your minds. Your bodies are still standing in the same place on the planet and regardless of the time spent here no time will pass in the ‘real world’ as you would put it. I had hoped it would prove calming for the colonel, but it appears I was mistaken.” The alien looked quizzically over at Jack’s glowering face.

“I don’t like surprises.”

“He doesn’t like surprises.”

They blurted out together and the synchronicity made them both grin and broke the tension.

“OK, Lamarr, I’ll bite, so we ain’t in Kansas anymore. I’m listening.”

“Thank you, Colonel. Firstly I must again apologise. Dr. Jackson was affected in an unwarranted way partly because of the tangled nature of his life threads and the unusual twist of them with your own.”

Daniel and Jack exchanged looks of ‘no shit, Sherlock’ at that little pronouncement.

“But also,” the alien continued, “Because of his ability to both read and interpret the writings on the temple wall. He unknowingly, but instinctively traced the carvings in the exact way that myself or one of the adepts would have done in order to bring the Sturina to the fore.”

“See, I knew all that hands on stuff would get you into trouble,” Jack scolded. But Daniel was too interested in the alien’s words to take any notice.

“So the virus itself forms part of the structure – the fabric of the building. That’s fascinating…”

“What is more fascinating,” L’Mar interrupted, “is the fact that your threads were so linked with the colonel’s even decades into your past, yet you were unaware and came together as mates despite this. It was that link between you that caused the Sturina to move from Daniel into Jack. The unravelling of that particular tangle is especially pleasing to us.”

“So there is an emotional component for you, too?” Daniel was intrigued by the investment the alien seemed to have in their happiness and well-being.

“There is a great…satisfaction in the harmony caused by the righting of twisted threads, yes.” L’mar agreed. “And a sensation you would equate with pain when those threads remain inextricable.”

“So is this all over for us then?” Jack asked earnestly. “Because I have to be honest with you, Lamaze, I wouldn’t want to go through the last few weeks again for anything or anybody.” The look of concern and love he sent Daniel melted the younger man’s heart and he reached out to squeeze Jack’s hand. He was surprised when Jack didn’t let go and pulled him closely into his side.

“The effects of the Sturina are fully purged from your bodies. There will be no after effects and you may leave here secure in that knowledge.” The alien floated over to hover closely in front of them and it took everything Jack had not to haul Daniel out of reach. But his lover seemed unperturbed by the proximity of the creature and Jack found he trusted Daniel’s intuition. And after all, they weren’t even really here in the cave, so there was very little to be gained from retreating.

“However,” L’Mar continued, “I see new threads already forming which will have far-reaching consequences if they continue to unravel as they are.”

Daniel’s expression was one Jack had seen a million times before. His blue eyes sparked with excitement at the possibility of new discoveries. But the look dimmed with L’Mar’s next words.

“We are not ‘fortune tellers’ as Jack puts it. We see the threads and their interactions with one another but not their destinations or consequences. Every thread can be stretched or tangled or broken by the others around it and by new threads put into place by design or accident.” The lizard faced alien gave an approximation of a smile with its wide toad-like mouth. “We simply strive to smooth the tangled threads that hurt those they are attached to – this is the purpose of the Sturina and our vocation.” He turned to Daniel and bowed. “Once again I apologize for the method. But we of the Amaranth have contentment that the pain of the past has been untangled and the twisted threads between you and your mate are now aligned. It is time for you to leave, Daniel Jackson. We will not meet again.”

Suddenly Jack found himself alone with L’Mar. Jack was dressed in a hazmat suit and they were in the centre of an area of blasted ground. Around them were all the hallmarks of the aftermath of a major nuclear event; blasted buildings and the fine ash of vaporized organic matter. Jack looked around himself in horror.

“Where’s Danny?” he demanded, slightly panicked by the devastation around him and his missing lover.

“Have no fear, Jack O’Neill. This is but another construct.”

Jack sighed deeply, his faint sheepish blush mostly hidden by the heavy helmet of his suit. “Yeah, right…OK.”

“Your mate is safe and time is not yet moving for him. When you rejoin him he will not realize you have been apart. There is something we must discuss and a decision you must make.”

Jack had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. The explanations of the alien had been plausible enough, but it all seemed a little too easy. So now there was something expected of him and Jack was almost relieved. Decisions were something he had been trained for all his life; he made difficult choices every time they went through the Gate.

“OK, so…”

“There is something you have been thinking about; something that will change your life.”

Jack’s eyes went hard and he looked over at the alien floating in front of him, with a steely gaze. “Have you been reading my mind?” His concerns were for the command codes that lay buried in his memory. Knowledge of those would compromise the SGC.

“No, merely watching the threads,” L’Mar replied cryptically. “I cannot…should not influence you but…” The alien faltered and for the first time Jack thought he saw a flicker of doubt on the reptilian face.

“But…” he prompted.

“I do not need to tell you how bright a star your mate is; how he shines in intelligence and compassion.”

Jack shook his head. He needed no one to sing Danny’s praises when he was the loudest voice in the choir.

“Then believe me when I tell you that for no other would I go against the precepts of my race and give a warning.” The white and purple mist making up the body of the alien clouded to murky grays and putrid greens. “If the threads you are spinning now do not come to fruition and very soon; if you make a different decision even in the next few hours, then what you see around you will not come to pass. But the threads that bind you to Daniel will be severed and although they will be remade in the fullness of time, neither of you will ever be the same again.”

Jack felt the icy fingers of premonition tighten around his gut. “But if I do go ahead, with what I have been thinking?”

“Then what you see around you will come to be.”

“I thought you told Danny you couldn’t see the future. Why did you lie to him?”

“Because you know as well as I do if he thought he could prevent this, he would willingly risk anything to make that come to pass. Even telling him that this would happen eventually – even with his interference – would not stop him.”

Jack nodded. Everything the alien said was correct. Daniel would stop at nothing to prevent the pain or death of others. Jack was no fool. Even though the alien hadn’t been completely overt about it; the soldier knew that Daniel would die preventing this disaster happening.

“And so that’s the decision I have to make. Keep things the way they are and save this world for the time being or follow through with my plans and save Daniel, allowing this world to suffer this sooner rather than later.”

“If it helps at all, colonel, the people of this planet will eventually destroy themselves. Even if you decided to sacrifice Daniel this outcome will be the final one.” L’Mar’s gaze drifted around them and Jack swallowed hard.  At first it looked like he was being made to make the hardest choice of his life – Daniel for a whole planet of people and the alien was right, Daniel wouldn’t see any choice at all. He would give his life gladly to save others. But if they were still going to make this happen despite the possible sacrifice of his lover; if they were going to eventually take that sacrifice and piss it away, then Jack knew the decision he was going to make.

“You do not need to give me your answer, Jack O’Neill.” The alien’s aura glowed once again with deep amethyst and silver shades. “I see the strands of your decision coiling away into the distance, binding the future to you both.”

Jack felt the gnawing pain in his gut begin to ease as he realized the alien was right. The decision was made, for better or worse.

“Do not allow your people to return to our world, Colonel. With this one act we have interfered enough for a millennium. We wish to prevent any further unwarranted interventions.”

“OK,” Jack agreed. “I’ll make sure the address is locked out of the dialling computer.”  He looked L’Mar in the eye and sketched a salute. “I came here wanting to kick your butt for what you put us through, but now I think…Thank you.”

Before the last syllable of his thanks had left his mouth, Jack found himself back in his BDUs complete with his P-90 and a confused looking Daniel beside him.

“Where did he go?” the archaeologist asked.

Jack shrugged, “I think he’d said everything he needed to say. I get the impression we’ve outstayed our welcome here.”

“W…what?” Daniel was irritated in the extreme. “We haven’t even got to the ruins yet.”

“And we’re not going.” Jack replied quellingly. “You heard what Toadface said. The virus is in the fabric of that temple. I’m not risking you getting re-infected or anyone else for that matter. We’re going back to base and locking this place out of the dialling computer.”

Jack watched as Daniel warred with himself until (thankfully) he saw the sense of Jack’s argument. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“I know I am,” Jack replied, trying not to let Daniel see his relief at his acquiescence. “Before we do though, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.” He looked around and saw a small rock formation about fifteen feet back from the pathway. The tops of the stones were worn flat offering a perfect place to sit. They both settled, Jack pulling out his canteen and sipping at the lukewarm water as Daniel found a rather crushed power bar and ripped open the foil wrapper.

Jack used sipping the water as a cover for gathering himself. This subject was one he’d thought he would have a few more days, maybe even weeks, to think on. But L’Mar had made it very clear time was of the essence; any delay on his part could have consequences he wouldn’t even allow himself to think about. So he had to do this, do it now and convincingly enough that Daniel would also agree.

“Jack, is everything OK?” Daniel’s worried tone told Jack he had been cogitating for a little too long and his subterfuge had become obvious.

“Yeah, Danny. It’s just…well, this is a big thing to talk about and I want to say it right.”

Daniel bit down on his bottom lip and a worried frown puckered his brow. He didn’t say anything else, just looked at Jack, waiting.

“I loved our time in Mexico,” Jack began. “Even with all the worry and the misunderstandings; the fear and the travelling half way around the world…” He looked over at Daniel to see if he agreed and the small crinkle at the corners of his lover’s eyes told him he did.

“I loved being together as a real couple; no hiding, no pretending. Waking up with you in the morning and hearing you breathing at night.”

“Not to mention the hot sex.” Daniel grinned, warmed by the real pleasure his older lover had taken in the simpler parts of just being together.

“Well, that goes without saying,” Jack agreed, pressing his hand playfully on Daniel’s thigh. “But that first night back home, when I dropped you at the apartment and you had to stop me from kissing you goodbye because I’d forgotten we couldn’t, it struck me… I don’t want to live my life like that anymore.” An expression of alarm flittered across Daniel’s face and Jack carried on quickly to halt the misunderstanding before it started.  “I want to be able to kiss you and hold your hand; to introduce you as my life-partner, fuck it, as my husband if that’s what you want.” Jack caught Daniel’s hand in his and turned it over tracing his fingertip down Daniel’s lifeline. “I’m so much older than you, Danny, and I don’t wanna waste anymore time. I want to retire and I want you to think about it, too, or at least about not being on a Gate team anymore.”

Daniel opened his mouth to speak, but Jack stopped him with his fingertips, pressing them against his lips. “I know you love it and I‘d never want you to have to give it up completely and I was thinking, how would you like to live in a castle in Scotland for a while?” 

He moved his fingers away from Daniel’s mouth which dropped open in shocked amazement.

“In Scotland?”

“Well, there's this Asgard laboratory in the grounds of Simon’s castle just waiting for a genius linguist/archaeo-anthropologist to winkle out all its secrets. And I’m sure Simon and Mac could find things a retired Air Force Colonel could do with his time. There may even be some civilian freelance work I could do for the SGC or the RAF.”

Jack stopped talking and held his breath as he watched Daniel think about everything he’d said.

“I’ve been thinking along the same lines actually, although I hadn’t got as far as you, obviously. I’d never ask you to retire for me, Jack. I know you’ve always loved what you do and you’re good at it – the best. But I have to admit, I’m getting tired of being shot at and not getting to do the stuff I’m really good at. But,” he frowned and looked at his hands, “what about Sam and Teal’c? And what about the general? I can’t imagine he’d be very happy about losing half of his flagship team.”

Jack grinned, as he had a rebuttal ready for this part of Daniel’s argument. “T and Sam can carry on going through the Gate if that’s what they want. Carter is ready to take command and between you and me she’s up for her silver oak leaves any day now. If for some reason she doesn’t want it then there are a couple of really good prospects in the chain of command - Major Lorne comes to mind and T is always happy to go out with SG-2; he loves those Marines!”

Daniel snorted in agreement.

“And as for the general, well, I think he’s been expecting this for a while now. He knew we’d either get outted or we’d decide to go on our own and I for one would rather have a retirement party than a court martial.”

“You really have thought all of this through,” Daniel shook his head in surprise. “Is this really what you want, love,” he asked as he laid his hand gently over Jack’s.

Jack lifted their entwined fingers and pressed them to his lips. “Yeah, it really is. We’d have to talk it through with everyone and I don’t think I’m pandering to my own ego too much when I say we might have a bit of a fight with the President, but in the end I’ve put in more than my time and if I decide to go there isn’t a great deal they can do to stop me.”

“My contract is actually up for renewal within the next month or so,” Daniel mused, “so it really would be the ideal time to put in some clauses about Gate travel and being put in charge of the project at Castle Blair.” He was starting to look really excited by the prospect now, and Jack let himself finally believe that this was going to happen. The cold clutch around his heart was easing and he could almost see those threads of destiny stretching out ahead of them.

“Why don’t we go back to the Gate and talk to Carter and Teal’c, off the record. Then we can get back to the SGC and start filling the general in on the next phase of our lives.”

Daniel nodded and they both stood, brushing the white crystals from their pants and stowing their canteen and wrappers in their packs.

“We have another mission on the list for this week,” Daniel commented as they started the short walk back to the Gate. “It’s a second visit actually; diplomatic.”

Jack nodded and tried not to show the discomfort he was feeling as once again a trickle of fear ran down his neck.

“They are running at about 1950’s level of tech according to Dr. Phillips, the anthro on SG-9. They may be dabbling with nuclear fusion too so that should be interesting and the geologists say they have a new mineral we haven’t seen before.”

“I think someone else can take that one then,” Jack said brightly, feeling proud of the way his voice didn’t shake.

“Oh, really,” Daniel said, vaguely disappointed. “I thought Kelowna sounded quite interesting." Daniel bit his bottom lip. Still... Perhaps you’re right. We need to get the ball rolling and prove we really mean it. Well, never mind, I can give it back to Phillips. I’m sure they can pull it in in a few weeks.”

Jack nodded, knowing that in a few weeks the SGC wouldn’t be able to get a lock on that gate. “Yeah well, we’ll have enough to do getting the rest of our lives sorted out.” Jack replied, relief making his knees feel shaky. “We’ll have paperwork up the whazoo for the next month I’m sure.”

“The rest of our lives, huh,” Daniel smiled over at Jack and reached out to squeeze his hand. “You know they have civil partnerships in Great Britain.”

Jack looked over at his lover, hope overwhelming him. He’d thrown out the idea of getting ‘married’ without believing Daniel would be interested.  Once again, when it came to his archaeologist, he was pleased to be wrong. “Was that a yes?”

“Was that a proposal?” Daniel countered, but his broad smile and dancing eyes showed he knew that’s exactly what it was.

“Well, come here, Dr O’Neill,” Jack teased as he tugged on Daniel’s hand, pulling the younger man into his arms.

“What for, Colonel Jackson,” Daniel teased.

“For this…” Jack pushed one hand around Daniel’s waist and the other into his thick hair and pulled them into a deep lush kiss. It felt brand new and yet as familiar as all the hundreds they had shared before this one.

Their lives were changing again, but the threads that had tied them together for longer than either of them had been aware were now binding them more tightly to each other; the strongest strands of love wound around them, holding them safe as they began a new adventure into the future – together.

Fin


End file.
